


The Flowers Tell a Story

by QJK13



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awesome Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Bad Parenting, Blood and Violence, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Child Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Floriography, Heavy Angst, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Howard Stark's Bad Parenting, Hurt, Hurt Tony, Hurt Tony Stark, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insecure Tony, Insecure Tony Stark, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Language of Flowers, M/M, Multi, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Oblivious Bucky Barnes, Oblivious Steve Rogers, Past Abuse, Peggy Carter & Howard Stark Friendship, Poor Tony, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Protective Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Protective Pepper Potts, Protective Steve, Protective Steve Rogers, Romantic Soulmates, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Steve Rogers Feels, Threesome - M/M/M, Tony Angst, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Has Self-Esteem Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony is bad at feelings, Tony-centric, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, Underage Rape/Non-con, Underage Sex, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:15:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 146,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24992929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QJK13/pseuds/QJK13
Summary: Tony Stark knew who his soulmates were since he was 4, the Red Silver and Blue Shield cruelly marked on him. It was one of the few things that Howard Stark couldn’t touch or change, so Howard made his marks in other ways.It wasn’t like Steve or Bucky would ever know, they were dead.Tony had been dealt the worst hand fate could think up, someone somewhere obviously hated him. He had two soulmates who’d been dead for 25 years before his birth. A father who was in the running for worst parent of the century. The names of two men he couldn't help but love, but Howard made sure he was reminded at every turn that he was worthless, Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes would've never spared him a 2nd glance.By the time he was 12 Tony was glad Steve and Bucky were dead, they were better off having never known him, he'd have only disappointed them.He'd given up the fantasy of having a true or real romantic relationship long ago, hidden behind the mask he played into the media, they were going to say what they wanted about him, he'd learned to not care.Until Captain Rogers showed up, he didn't care; he couldn't. So why did it hurt so much "Big man in a suit of armor. Take that off what are you?"
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Tony Stark, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton & Tony Stark, Happy Hogan & Tony Stark, Howard Stark/Maria Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark, Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark, Peggy Carter/Daniel Sousa, Pepper Potts & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Tony Stark & Thor
Comments: 266
Kudos: 1087
Collections: Dreamwind's Favorite MCU/Marvel Fics, Stony*, Tonycentric, WinterIron*, WinterIronShield*, hurt Tony





	1. Buttercups

**Author's Note:**

> Just a heads up, this chapter deals with some fairly graphic scenes, and the start of Tony's walls and self-esteem issues. Howard is a major asshole in this fic and this fic will eventually have a happy ending but not before dealing with a very very hurt Tony.
> 
> Read at your own risk but yea this isn't for the faint of heart, read at your own risk.

At 4 Tony was already different, he built his first circuit board from the scraps he found in a box in Howard’s study, Jarvis helped the 4 year old soder the pieces together. Tony left it on Howard’s desk, with a note “I fix it.'' While he was years ahead of where a 4 year old cognitively should be, easily working at a 1st or 2nd grade level, his grammar wasn't quite on par with his math and science skills, at least not yet. Tuesday, the week before Thanksgiving of 1974, that was a day he remembered. Everything had changed in such a short 24 hour period, the events were seared into his brain, and the lines into his hands.

Howard had been furious that Tony had gotten into the box with the broken circuit board. The backhand sending his small body backwards into the china cupboard before dinner had not been what the 4 year old had expected. “If you think you're old enough to help, then you will join me in the shop after dinner.” Howard had sneered, pouring himself a large glass of vodka. Despite the worried look on Jarvis’ face and the plea’s of Maria that he was only 4 and the workshop was no where for such a young child. Howard heard none of it, Tony was a Stark he was going to do as he was told and he’d already made the decision when he had gone and gotten into things he shouldn’t have. Howard would not be trifled with today.

What none of them knew for a long time was that on this very day 30 years ago the Commandos had arrived back to base after a mission, but it was the first time one of them was missing. 30 years ago that day Bucky Barnes had fallen off the train carrying Zola and had been reported KIA. 30 years ago Howard learned of the death of one of his best friends, today was not a good day in the Stark house. Tony would later learn that November 13th, January 10th, March 10th and the 4th of July were the scariest days in the Stark household. Tony eventually learned to make himself scarce on the birthday and deathday of the Captain and Sergeant.

After dinner Howard had finished the vodka and had poured himself another glass, the bottle he’d cracked earlier in the day, inching ever closer to empty. Holding the vodka and circuit board in one hand, his other tightened around Tony’s upper arm he walked to the workshop, dragging the small boy after him. He ignored the whimpering coming from the boy. Tony got his first permanent scars that day. Howard wasn’t going to stop or slow down for the boy, he didn’t have time to teach the child about tool safety. Tony, stepped on a nail, Howard didn’t even remove the nail, Tony cried at first. Then came the infamous lines, lines he would hear from Howard whenever his father disapproved of him or his actions.

Stark’s don’t have emotions, so he better quit that sissy pants crying.

Stark’s don’t cry.

Stark’s were not weak.

Stark’s don’t bend.

Stark’s don’t break.

Stark’s are made of Iron.

So the small boy took a shaky breath and gritted his teeth, he was a Stark and he would make his father proud. He stood there helping hold and pass his father tools for the next 2 hours while his foot slowly bled onto the concrete floor of the workshop.

The jab saw was hot from the friction of cutting through the metal pipe. Howard didn’t pay it any mind as he passed it to the boy blade first. Not knowing any better Tony took it blade first in his small hands, it burned, the teeth cut viciously into his skin, he yelped. Howard turned a sharp gaze on the boy. Tony grit his teeth harder. 

He remained quiet for the next 30 minutes til when Howard took the saw out of his hands again the blade sliced into his palms, the cuts were deep, he still has them to this day. Tony shrieked with pain as the red bloomed across his hands, a sharp contact rocked the boy sending him sprawling. Howard had hit him again but it felt harder this time, Tony looked up even now curious, in his hand was a phillips head screwdriver. The handle of the tool and Howard’s knuckles had connected with Tony’s chest “Get out.” 

Tony stumbled to his feet limping out of the workshop and back into the house, blood dripping across the hardwood floors from his foot and hands, the nail was still embedded in his foot, he was too scared to try and remove it. He knew he had to get to the bathroom, hoping that’s where they had a first aid kit. The nail hindered his walking, a lot, especially with the adrenaline wearing off, he felt the sharp stabbing pain rip through his leg with each step causing him to collapse with a sob. Jarvis found the small boy in the hallway crying as he crawled on his elbows and knees towards the washroom, blood smeared behind him. Jarvis’ stomach dropped, his heart wrenching at the sight. He scooped up the small boy tending to his injuries and stitching the skin back together on his hands. He removed the nail and bandaged his foot. Keeping ice on his cheek and chest where he’d been hit. Tony had lost a lot of blood, he gave the boy a mild kid safe pain killer, water and a salty snack to help him regain the blood he had lost. He tucked the Young Master into bed leaving water and the next dose of painkillers telling him to not take them for 4 hours. He then left the room after stroking a hand through Tony’s hair fondly, and cleaning up the blood that had been tracked in from the workshop, the amount of blood on the floor scaring the butler, he had a sinking feeling that this was going to be an all to regular occurrence in the future.

————————————

That night fate decided it wasn’t quite done with the small boy, a warm buzzing woke the small child. He knew what it was, he’d heard the stories from his mom, his soul mark. He threw the covers off as he dove out of bed, immediately regretting landing hard on his foot, the pain pulling at the stitches but he really couldn’t make himself care all that much. He hop-limped as quickly as he could into the bathroom flipping on the light, he fell sideways as the lightheadedness hit him, he had lost a fair amount of blood earlier. Leaning heavily into the corner where the sink counter met the wall he maneuvered the step stool in front of the mirror as best he could with his good foot. He waited for the dizzy spell to end then slowly stepped up on the stool. Though it took a bit of work with his bandaged hands, he finally wrestled his pajama shirt up above where he had felt the mark take root.

It was a circle, he froze his eyes widening as he recognized the Red, Silver and Blue shield with a star in the middle.

Captain America! 

He smiled widely at the realization, even though it hurt a bit with the bruise on his face.

His soulmate was Captain America! He knew Captain America already had a soulmate Sergeant Barnes, he must be the other piece, his mom said soul marks were given for a reason. He’d grown up listening to stories about the Captain and the Commandos, his family's equivalent of fairy tales. After hearing the stories Captain Rogers and his Howling commandos had quickly become an obsession for the small boy. He’d even gone as far as asking if three way soul connections were possible for this exact reason, his young imagination not fully comprehending the impossibility of it. The Captain and Sergeant were his heroes, soulmates who were devoted to each other and fighting for justice. All the stories Aunt Peggy had told him, the stories Jarvis had told him, the stories Uncle Tim, Gabe and Jim told him.

He knew he had the best soulmates in the universe! 

Tony was elated by the mark, for exactly 3.4 seconds. Then he remembered how the stories all ended and his stomach dropped and he went white stumbling off the stool, releasing his pajama top letting it fall back down. Sergeant Barnes had died, he fell from a train into a snowy ravine in the Alps and just two short months later the Good Captain had sacrificed himself crashing the Valkyrie into the Arctic to save the eastern seaboard.

All of a sudden all the hope and joy he’d had knowing he had finally gotten his mark came crashing down. His Soulmates were dead. The missing link fate had granted his soul, the people who were going to love him and know him and treasure him through all the good and the bad, was an impossibility. The soul connection he had been looking forward to, especially after hearing Jarvis and Aunt Peggy’s mark stories. He had made a connection, but it was to two men who he would never be able to know, they had died 28 years ago and that stung more than anything he’d faced that day. His 4 year old brain came to a heartbreaking conclusion as his insides twisted in a way no child should ever know; he would never be truly loved.

But Stark’s were made of Iron.

He would not show weakness.

He would not cry.

He would not bend.

He would not break.

Stark’s were made of Iron.

Stop that sissy-pants crying, his father’s voice echoed in his head.

————————————————————————

Tony hid his mark for as long as he could. ‘Stark’s aren’t susceptible to the weakness of soulmates.’ Howard’s voice sounded in his head whenever he thought of bringing it up. But keeping secrets was not something a 4 year old could manage for very long. His mother saw the next week while forcing him into a sweater for Thanksgiving. She was so happy when she saw the mark not realizing what it was or what it meant. 

As soon as he was dressed she steered him quickly into the living room, with a quick stop off at the wine cellar for a bottle of champagne. Howard, Edwin Jarvis, Ana, Aunt Peggy, Uncle Daniel, Uncle Tim, Uncle Gabe, Uncle Jim and Uncle Obadiah all sat in the room around a coffee table covered in hors d'oeuvres. She called for a toast, popping the bottle of 1920 Taittinger champagne behind him causing him to jump much to Howard’s annoyance. “What are we toasting to Maria?” He asked, noticing Tony had been pushed forward a bit into the room. 

“Tony got his soulmark!” She said excitedly “Go on dear, show them.”

Tony trembled, he was very much on the spot, and in a room full of people who had been best friend’s with the other two men who had held the mark he did now. He watched as Howard’s face pulled into a line.

Stark’s aren’t susceptible to the weakness of soulmates.

“Well Tony,” Howard bit out, leaning forward, waiting for the brunette boy to show them. Begrudgingly and with a bit of a struggle Tony lifted his sweater, showing off the all to familiar circle that was now a permanent fixture on his rib cage. The adults in the room gasped many of them recognizing exactly what that circle was. Howard grit his teeth and took a long sip of the whiskey in his hand before standing up, “ Tony come with me. I want to have a better look at that.” He ground out, Tony let his sweater fall back down following Howard’s lead out of the room, his vodka in hand. Confused whispers and sad eyes followed Tony out of the room. Maria didn’t understand why the room had gone so still and cold, Peggy pulled her aside to explain it. Tony heard his mother burst into tears behind him. If Aunt Peggy didn’t believe that Steve and Bucky were still alive then he truly was forsaken. 

Stark’s aren’t susceptible to the weakness of soulmates.

As soon as they were out of earshot of the living room Howard rounded on him, “How the hell do you have Steve’s mark on you?” Howard was red in the face barely keeping his voice level enough to not be heard down the hall. Tony had no idea, he was just as confused as everybody else, if anything he was hurt even more by the mark on his skin knowing that the two people he was supposedly destined for we’re no longer alive. Howard kept pushing it though, “Do you think this is funny? Go wash that off right now.”

Tony looked up at his father wide eyed, “I can’t.” Was all he said. Howard snarled his hand curling around the boy's wrist, yanking him into the bathroom. He roughly lifted and tossed the boy onto the counter, paying Tony no mind as his head smacked back into the cabinet. He hauled Tony’s sweater off throwing it to the bathroom floor, he grabbed a washcloth dousing it with scalding water from the sink and soap. Taking a hold of Tony’s wrist he yanked the boy’s arm up over his head so that he could get to the soul mark on his ribs. He aggressively started to scrub at the mark trying to get it off of his skin. 

Stark’s aren’t susceptible to the weakness of soulmates.

Howard scrubbed violently at the mark for a long time turning the skin raw and slightly bloody as the first layers of skin had been scoured off. Tony bit his lip drawing blood to keep his whines of pain from slipping out. His body reacted to the pain on instinct shrinking away from the cloth until he was pressed back into the corner where the cabinet and wall joined.

Howard finally stopped as he snarled, dropping Tony’s arm back down, causing him to wince and let out a low whine he could keep swallowed down when the arm hit the fresh friction burn. Howard tossed back the last of his vodka slamming the glass down angrily, “They were worth so much more. I would give anything to have them back. And here you sit, wearing that mark, having no idea how much they gave up, how much they were to this world.” Howard bent down and threw the sweater at Tony. “Those two men were heroes and they got stuck with you to remember them by, a worthless, whiny, good for nothing brat, who will never know the adversary they had to fight through. I’m glad they are able to Rest In Peace, that they never have to see what a pitiful future it would have been for them with you.” Howard’s eyes were cold and his words cut deep. Howard left the bathroom leaving Tony on the counter to stare at the raw and red mark adorning his body, and for the first time Tony felt ashamed to be wearing their soul mark.Tear flooded his eyes.

Stark’s aren’t susceptible to the weakness of Soulmates.

Tony slunk out of the bathroom after struggling to pull the sweater on with his hands that were still bandaged from the week before. Knowing that no one was out there to see the injury flowers that, had they been alive, would be blooming on their rib cage, Sweet Briar and Peonies, right where the bloody friction burn sat on the young boy’s body.

From the moment the soulmark was in place the soulmates would share a special bond, a link of sorts, a counter balance, whenever one soulmate was physically hurt the other(s) would know, flowers would bloom on them wherever the injury was on their partner. Different flowers would appear based on how the injured partner was feeling at the time, emotions they were feeling when they were hurt. A bruise, a flower; a sprain, a flower; a cut, a flower; a burn, a flower; concussion, a flower; broken bone, a flower; each flower fading as the injury healed. But if it left a scar, the flower would become a permanent fixture on the other’s skin just like the scar would be, something beautiful to match the ugly.

He heard his father’s voice “-no, it was just a drawing, Tony was in my study the other day. He must have seen Cap’s mark in my files and drew it on himself, you know kids. He probably got caught up in all the stories we’ve been telling him, how Cap and Barnes were a perfect match for each other. Besides he’s a Stark, we don’t have Soulmates.” Howard’s voice was cold, the words stung, hitting Tony harder than any physical blow Howard had ever dealt him. 

He wasn’t worth his soulmates, they were better off never knowing him.

His mark was a mistake.

Stark’s aren’t susceptible to the weakness of soulmates.

————————————————————————

At the age of 5 Tony was taking apart the Toaster, the Microwave, the VCR, the TV and anything else he could get his little hands on. He was putting them back together to see if he could combine the machine’s together, could he get the TV to have the VCR in it, and could he create a microwave that could toast as well? He was a curious child and he was a Stark, his IQ was unbelievably high, according to the tests he outscored even his own father by almost one hundred points. Howard only grew colder and resented him even more for it. Freak. It was just a number yet with that number everyone changed how they treated him, everyone except for Jarvis and Aunt Peggy.

Tony had finished his project of merging the different machine’s together, he walked out the front doors towards the garage where his father was supposed to be. It was the week after the 4th of July, Howard was always in the garage for the week after the 4th. Looking over maps of the Arctic yet again, planning his next trip to look for Steve’s body. Each time he came back empty handed he’d go on a bender for the next a week to a month normally surfacing around the beginning of August. 

“Dad!” Tony called out excitedly, he wanted to show Howard his project. He wanted to prove he could help, he was smart and competent, he wasn’t a failure. Tony Stark was useful and deserving of his father’s attention and affection. This would finally convince him to stay and pay attention to him. He was almost to the garage when hands grabbed him. A blow to his head knocked him out before he could yell, his body picked up unceremoniously tossed into a van, bruises forming on the side of his head.

No one would see the Buttercups and Leucojum blooming on their temple weaving into their hairline.

It wasn’t the first time he was kidnapped, it wouldn’t be the last. But it was the first time Tony registered that his father didn’t even care enough to try and get him back. The group thought he’d be a bargaining chip, Howard Stark’s son, the CEO of Stark Industries couldn’t refuse that. But Howard Stark was heartless. When it came to ransom demands, he told them that they would have a better chance getting the President of the United States to pay up, he was busy and he didn’t have time to deal with his son’s capture. Even when they broke Tony’s left arm letting Howard hear his scream of pain as the bone snapped. 

No one would see the flower wreath wrap around their arm.

Howard just scoffed. “Keep the ungrateful brat.” had answered the cold slurring voice of his father. Tony knew then, his Howard Stark would never care. He was just a burden. At the tender age of 5 Tony knew with absolute certainty, he was unlovable. Aunt Peggy and Jarvis saved him just a week later, but by then the damage had been done. The bones that had been snapped were unable to be set properly, they had already started to heal wrong, so the flowery wreath of Bilberry would be the first permanent flowers on his soulmate's bodies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Floriography
> 
> Sweet Briar - Wounded  
> Peonies - Shame  
> Buttercup - Childishness   
> Leucojum - Hope  
> Bilberry - Treachery


	2. Chapter 2: Marigolds

Chapter 2: Marigolds

Tony manipulated the blankets around him, roll, pull, lift and tuck, he maneuvered the blankets around him until they were wrapped tight around him. To most people it would make them feel claustrophobic; for Tony though it was the closest he’d ever gotten to replicating the comforting feel of Peggy or Jarvis’ hugs, the closest he’d get to feeling a warm embrace at night. His mind wandered, not ready to turn in for the night, he went over the events of the day and the ones that had led up to this. He’d learned that day that the press only wrote what they wanted to write, even if it wasn’t the truth. Howard had trotted him out in front of the press at Stark Industries earlier in the day. He smiled happily next to Tony while the camera flashed, the only familiarity in the man or the arm over his shoulder was the hard grip it had on his back digging in with the unspoken threat. Play that part you’ve been told to play, be a good little puppet. So he had played pretend, he did it all the time, he was good at it. Tony stood next to Howard and smiled in front of the engine he’d built in the playroom. Howard had converted the playroom into a secondary workshop earlier in the year, it kept Tony out of his. He sat next to Howard with a notepad, drawing out more designs, keeping quiet as the interviewer raved and lathered compliments onto the senior member of the two Starks. The interviewer was content listening to Howard spin his lies, looking like the ever immaculate business man and father to the press. What couldn’t Howard Stark do.

The man in that room Tony didn’t know, that man was not the Howard he had grown up with.

Leaving behind the playroom for a workshop had been an easy transition for Tony, it had already been in progress in many ways. He had already deconstructed the toys and furniture and reassembled them into something new at least once at this point, now all the toys and reconstructed furniture was replaced with tools and raw materials. One couch was left in the room with a coffee table that was covered in books. While he didn’t have an unlimited supply of equipment one thing there was always plenty of was books, bookshelves lined two walls of the room. If he didn’t know how to do something he could figure it out or learn it from a book, Jarvis was almost always game for a trip to the bookstore and if he got really stuck he’d ask Uncle Obie. 

If he needed something he needed to build it from the ground up with the tools he had. Howard wasn’t going to waste his time on going and buying Tony something he could just make. “You have a workshop for a reason, figure it out.” This resulted in quite a few custom tools, and weird steps along the way to get to a final product, and not all were practical, but until he could build the part he needed the workarounds were necessary. The lack of equipment made him think in the big picture instead of getting stuck or hung up by minor setbacks.

Eventually he would get or make the things he needed to make his project efficiently, finding other ways to do what a single machine could do. It took longer for sure but it also taught him more, he was learning how to engineer from a young age. Until he could make or get the equipment to speed up the process his out of the box thinking worked, even if his workarounds had workarounds and those even had workarounds sometimes. Creating something from nothing was no easy feat; he had to do it in steps and stages and get creative, really creative. He had created an elaborate track and pulley system in the room that would allow him to bend metal to the curve or angle he needed. He didn’t have a machine to do it so he had to figure out how to do it by hand.

In his workshop he flourished, he was able to design and build, finding the missing parental satisfaction in the satisfaction he got for himself when he completed a project, he wasn’t going to get any from Howard or his mother. His workshop was his safe place, his haven, where he didn’t have to be a Stark but he could just be Tony. He learned how to maneuver in the world from his lab, his imagination was the limit, building, creating and accomplishing so much from the bare minimum. And that skill of creating from nothing and not letting the lack of equipment stop him, that he perfected in that workshop, would be a skill that would save his life at 38 and again at 40. 

Engineering and creating came easily. He learned that he could see the designs flawlessly in his mind, he knew how all the parts would fit and work, and exactly how each of those parts needed to be made. It was a beautiful map in his head whenever he started to build. He found he enjoyed mapping out the theories in his head, but he missed that he didn’t have anyone to share them with, his theories going over Jarvis’ head whenever he started to talk about them. Jarvis was kind though as he listened to Tony and asked questions, not ones that were relevant but Tony appreciated that Jarvis tried. Tony’s eidetic memory quickly became a skill he put to use frequently, training it to be so much more than it had been for any other regular human. His brain was his greatest superpower and his worst nightmare, training his mind to have perfect recall was not without its downsides.

Tony remembered every word people said and every conversation and every action people took against him or for him. Tony was visiting Uncle Obie at Stark Industries a few weeks ago; Jarvis had been called in to assist Howard with something, Tony had tagged along going to see his Uncle, he knew bothering Howard wouldn’t end well for him. Tony told him about the engine he was working on and almost done with, in the middle of explaining his track and pulley system so he could lift, move parts and manipulate the materials as he needed. Obie had started laughing, a smile wide across his face. When Tony looked back on the memory years later he’d realize that the smile wasn’t for him, it was for what Tony could do for Obie. “You know Tony, I don’t think even Howard could have thought of that at 20.” He had laughed standing up to ruffle the boy’s hair, as Howard walked in. “You’re quite the golden goose Tony. That circuit board you fixed, Howard had been stuck on that for years, it was the key to a new guidance system we were working on, the technology of the future. That guidance system was in all of the rockets we rolled out to finish off the Vietnam war.” Obie told him. “You were saving the lives of American soldiers at age 4 and you didn’t even know it.” Little did Tony know at the time but that line would come to haunt him, the Merchant of Death would turn out to be an appropriate name for a man who’d had blood on his hands since the age 4. In fixing that circuit board he’d become responsible for the death of thousands, innocent, guilty, friends and combatants.

“Obadiah stop putting nonsense in the brats head. He got lucky, he can’t even get that motor of his to work.” Howard said, glaring at the other man as he puffed on a cigar.

“I want it to interface with the computer, I want the computer to be able to control it and help with the navigation, steering and-”

“So it doesn’t work,” Howard said sharply, cutting off Tony with a wave of his hand that sent the ash that had stacked up on his cigar to the floor. “Obadiah we have a meeting with Research and Development to look at things that actually work instead of Tony’s exaggerated pipe dreams.” Obie nodded grabbing files off his desk and leading the way out of the office. Howard shoved Tony forward out of the office, but before the boy could walk back to the car where he knew Jarvis was waiting a hand on his shoulder stopped him. “Stop bragging about things that don’t work, Stark’s aren’t failures.” Howard said stamping his cigar into the back side of Tony’s left shoulder at the end of the sentence, punctuating the period into Tony’s skin. “Do you understand?” Howard asked, holding the cigar there as Tony nodded frantically, his body attempting to twist out of the grip, Howard’s words humbled him, unless it worked he wouldn’t brag about it, that lesson would take a few more tries before it finally sunk in. Shame crashed over him as he staggered forward out of Howard’s grip.

Starks didn't fail; and he was currently failing.

Bluebell and Peony. The burn was deep, it had eaten through his tender skin and down into the muscle and sinew, another permanent mark no one would ever see.

Tony came to focus on what he could do, Stark’s were not failures, and as a child, he didn’t know the limits, he had none and adults had self imposed many on themselves. A growth mindset in terms of knowledge and his building accomplishments may have been one of the only good things Howard ever gave him. His imagination within the real world became his escape and his solace during the daylight. Losing himself in the design, Howard left him alone if he was in the workshop, at least for the most part. Tony was happy in his limitless workshop pushing the boundaries of what everyone thought was possible and to their surprise he succeeded.

Starks didn’t Fail. 

At night his imagination was yet again his escape and solace. He could lose himself for hours in a dream letting his mind take him into the stories he’d been told about his soulmates. Dreaming of warm arms wrapping around him, holding him, stroking his hair and rubbing his back like Jarvis or Ana sometimes did as he pulled the blanket tight around him. He longed for the touch and affection he saw other children receive. But he also feared it, touch hurt, touch was scary, so he pushed it away, he couldn’t let them in, if he did they’d just hurt him. Not that it mattered.

————————————

By the time Tony was 8 he had multiple scars, he was terrified of things that were handed to him; it was about a 50% chance that whatever it was he was handed was either hot or sharp. A soldering iron burn sat between his middle finger and ring finger on his right hand. Dragon plant. Howard had tossed it at him while it was still hot when at first Tony refused to take it. He knew the soldering iron hurt. The toss had forced Tony to throw up his hands to keep it from hitting him in the face, the awkward catch burning the skin between his fingers; at least that permanent scar was easy to hide. Other cuts and burns were in various stages of healing on his hands and wrists from being forced to hold sharp, or hot things. Luckily none were serious enough to cause lasting marks. He’d learned quickly about tool safety out of necessity, he wasn’t 4 anymore but he had needed to figure it out quickly, his own workshop experience made him an even faster learner. However while the tool burns lessened he had a mounting number of cigar burns which were littered across his back. He didn’t get a piece cut fast enough, it was the wrong size, the equation was wrong, he handed off the wrong tool when he wasn’t paying attention, the burns could be hidden from the public with a shirt though, Marigolds, Lady’s Thimble, Sweet Briar, Peonies and Bilberry. 

He now had an odd click in his side from a set of improperly healed ribs on his right side just under his soulmark. He’d been playing with a half finished model of Cap’s shield the morning of July 4th when it had been yanked from his arm and slammed into his side, sending him crashing into the edge of the table. He was confused, what had caused that reaction from Howard. He learned that day that Howard was to be avoided at all costs on July 4th. While driving him down the street Jarvis had explained that it was Steve’s birthday that day and Howard never dealt with the day well. Jarvis took him to get the blackening ribs looked at by a doctor down the road. With a quick excuse that a workshop explosion had caused the injury. The doctor had poked and prodded a bit, tears flooding Tony’s eyes at the minor readjustments. The doctor was able to put the out of place ribs back but said there was nothing that they could do about them past that. The ribs weren’t ‘too out of place now’ and ‘they should reset the rest of the way on their own, as long as he didn’t do anything too strenuous, the intercostal muscles should pull them back into place’. But he wasn’t allowed to rest like he should have and the ribs never set properly, so here he was a year later with ribs that ground together in his chest when he stretched or moved, every once in awhile creating a stabbing or horrible pinching in his side that brought him to his knees with the pain. Love-In-A-Mist. 

A long scar that hooked around from the side of his right thigh to the front was the only permanent one on his body that wasn’t of Howard’s making. A tangle of Iris, Daylilies, Lupine and Magnolia would be blooming on skin from his ignited passion, pride, excitement and sense of accomplishment. The only scar he had that didn’t hold horrible memories from the day he got it. This one had been a happy memory, even though he’d gotten hurt. He couldn’t even be bothered to cry when the machine exploded and one of the parts sliced a long cut into his upper thigh. It had worked! Even if it was only for a few moments it had proven that his newest idea with a few tweaks could work! He could use fast spinning electromagnets to vibrate protons and create an image with it! Jarvis had heard the explosion and came to investigate, a normal occurrence in the Stark household. He had found 7 year old Tony beaming ear to ear, scribbling new parameters down furiously on a scrap of paper as he sat on the floor, even with the blood stain on his leg slowly growing larger. Adrenaline playing an obvious part in the lack of tears on the young boy’s face. Jarvis just mildly scolded him to be more careful while he stitched up his leg before taking him into the kitchen so Ana could dress the wound while he ate a snack she had fixed him to keep up his blood pressure and blood sugar. She smiled and shook her head with an exasperated sigh when Tony asked how long til he could get back into the workshop and start rebuilding, “Eat your sandwich Tony Dear.” She had said but told him later that she saw no reason Tony could get back to work the next day, as long as Mr. Jarvis was there to help him and watch out for any more exploding inventions. Tony had happily agreed while munching on the tuna salad sandwich, he was sure it was supposed to have been his lunch that he’d missed two hours earlier.

That had been a good day, in the next few weeks with Edwin Jarvis’ help he’d gotten the machine to work and had collected data on it. He’d even been able to create some small very rough images to show how it worked. He then set about reaching out to a few companies that specialized in medical equipment to share his research and designs with. He’d managed to connect with a local doctor and had been talking to him, sharing research and notes back and forth. Allowing him to create the final specifications and designs so they could create a new medical imaging device using the magnetic resonance. It was going great, until the doctor and his team met him at the New York Public Library. When the doctor arrived and found out he was just a kid using his father’s email he had told him they would only deal with his father. It didn’t matter that Tony had done all the work; that Howard had just called it a waste of electricity or that this had completely been Tony’s brain child start to finish. The doctor had just scoffed, never even taking a glance at the packet stuffed with research Tony had created. In his mind there was no way a kid of 7 could have actually accomplished and compounded the research, data and manpower that was needed to provide a valid proposal for the medical industry. Tony had been quiet the whole drive home, it worked and it would help people, but they didn’t want him, they wanted Howard. So when he got back to the manor he went to the computer and printed out all of his emails with the company, then he walked into Howard’s study and dropped the whole packet full of plans, research and data onto Howard’s desk, leaving the emails on top, he never heard what happened with the research. It was days like that which hit hard and resembled the harsh reality of how the world treated the boy genius, too smart for his age but too young to be taken seriously, unless he was solving their problems. After having to give up his brain child he had never felt more lost than at night when he looked in the mirror and saw the scars, cuts, burns, dents and bruises. He was glad his soulmates were dead, that they would never see the damage that had been done to him. He never would have been able to explain to them that all of this was because he would have never been good enough for them, he could never measure up.

He knew the general idea of how it worked, the bond of scar and flowers, it gave you insight into who they were, if the scars were happy or sad memories. Tony was curious enough that he had a soulmate’s guide to flowers tucked under his pillow, and that paired with his perfect recall he could remember exactly what he was feeling. It had taken time and a dictionary to look up each feeling but he now had a good estimate to which flowers would have bloomed on their skin, both permanent and temporary. He couldn’t deal with emotions well but they would have had those flowers spelling out his emotions on their skin. He owed it to them to know what that flower would have been, he even went as far as tracing the flower around his own scar a few times when he felt like everything around him was suffocating him, the meditation of it calming him a bit. He had plenty of physical scars that he could hide behind clothes but hiding the emotional scars was the hard part. But he learned to do it, he learned to hide the flinches, and grit his teeth through the rapid heart beats, and hyperventilation. He could force himself to stare at a single spot on his hand and breath through the feeling that the world was closing in on him. He could grip the arms of the chair or his own wrist and count until the trembling and sweating stopped. Running through the list of injuries and their potential, corresponding flowers helped calm him down to where he could get through just about anything. He could do it. He could. 

After all he was a Stark.

Starks did not bend. 

Starks did not show weakness.

Starks did not break.

They were made of Iron.

————————————

By age 10 Tony managed most of his studies on his own, even though for the most part he was at private academies. He was already years ahead of his own grade, not many people took well to a kid being in middle school where the other students were 3 to 4 years older. What did you expect from a child genius and engineering prodigy? However the age gap resulted in him having a much more difficult time, even with his quiet nature he seemed to attract trouble. The teasing and bullying ultimately would bring out a fight in Tony that would get him expelled. During these times in between schools his mother had insisted he get a tutor for at least the non-math and science subjects so he’d have some sort of social interaction with other people.

The year had just started, he’d lasted a month and a half before, yet again he was expelled. It had been his longest stay at regular school, he’d gotten kicked out of them all so far. He didn’t care though the schools were all the same, the kids were mean, and the teachers were idiots. What kind of teacher couldn’t understand the basics of entropy. Howard would yell and scream and throw things and then start looking for a new school. Howard was almost always in the process of getting him into yet another school. The one he currently was looking at allowed for independent study for credit though. Tony was intrigued by that aspect, he didn’t need to be in a classroom, he would have the freedom to study and work as he pleased. As long as Tony passed the standard tests at the end of each month he would be allowed to stay on the independent study track. The school Howard was looking at also had a partial boarding option, his mother had insisted on it over the full boarding schools Howard had wanted to go with. Even though his mother was never home, she wanted him to have the option to be at home on weekends, she knew how much he would miss Ana and Edwin Jarvis. Howard accepted, it would get Tony out of the house for the week, then he was only back on the weekends unless he wanted to stay. An option Tony would indulge in, the option to hole up in a workshop for 48 hours straight was a hard one to argue against.

The table in the music room which had been temporarily set up for his school studies with a history tutor seated across the table from him. They were most of the way through World War 2 and the actions of the armies throughout Europe, the concentration camps, how Russia’s monarchy fell and the rise of their revolution, that the allies wanted the war to end quickly before they had to cut the newly communist USSR into the treaty. The part they were starting today was about Project Rebirth, the SSR, Captain Rogers and the Howling Commandos, the part of the war Howard was unable to let go. Tony watched the old films, Howard had an extensive collection of them and for the sake of Tony’s education had been talked into letting them watch them. It didn’t help that his current tutor was a history major and was a total Fanboy when it came to the Commandos and Captain America. Fanboy’d been more interested in taking notes on the films than teaching Tony about the Commandos actions or missions that had helped win the war. Tony wanted to snarl at the man whenever he talked about Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes like he knew them. They were his! Instead of saying anything though Tony just grit his teeth and kept his mouth shut, he knew something about Steve and Bucky that, including him only four people in the world knew, the Sergeant and Captain had another soulmate. They were his and he would not share them. 

By now Tony had a possessive and protective streak a mile wide; it had been well fostered by Howard who, after Tony had dropped the plans for what would become the MRI machine on his desk, was constantly stealing Tony’s projects and research. It’s not like Howard wasn’t brilliant in his own right, but to Tony it seemed like Howard had hit a limit as of late and Stark Industries was forcing him into weapons more than ingenuity. It was becoming more regular that he would march into Tony’s workshop, and go through his designs and projects till he found something he could take and claim for Stark Industries, taking all the credit. Tony’s designs had already been put to work in Stark weaponry. Howard always left the other designs for things that could actually help people, according to Uncle Obie it was the smart play, and was the most lucrative field.

On this day though he didn’t want to rip out Fanboy tutor’s tongue, he knew that was an excessive reaction but he was 10 and quite honestly he had never learned how to interact with people, especially people his own age. He’d spent most of his life around Howard who was cold, calculating and voiced his emotions through physical outbursts. Edwin Jarvis who was the family's beloved butler, and was the closest thing to a true father he had. Ana Jarvis who was warm, sweet and always had a warm hug and a brownie for him but still needed to keep her distance since like Mr Jarvis she was hired by the family so certain pretenses must be kept. His absentee mother, yes even in her long periods of going missing to spas and functions and to the club she made the list. Aunt Peggy who took no bullshit and was as witty as they came. Uncle Obie who treated him like a prize, but never as a human; though he was still closer to being a father to him than Howard. Everything else he spent time around was an inanimate object books, machines and tools in the workshops. He didn’t know how to be social, he was always caught up in his own head, he was smarter than everyone else and had grown up viciously unaware of how different his world was from everyone else’s. He missed cues, he reacted in all the worst and most immature ways you’d expect from someone who couldn’t deal with emotions, ‘Starks don’t have emotions’ came his brain’s automatic response, it had been conditioned into him. Of course he didn’t know how to deal with them, he’d never even been allowed to acknowledge they existed. He had a silver spoon shoved up his ass according to one teacher. According to another one he was an insufferable little prince who was too out of touch to realize he lived on the same earth as other people. He really needed to see a therapist, but that wasn’t something Howard or his mother would ever allow. The headlines alone were enough to deter Howard from acknowledging that Tony needed the help. 

“Ready to see the film reels?” Fanboy asked, Tony just nodded while the tutor all but bounced in his seat “It was so nice of your father to let us watch these. I’m sure he has ones that no one else has.” The tutor was bursting at the seams in anticipation his note book flipped open and pen at the ready. Tony merely nodded he knew better than to say anything to the contrary. The tutor turned off the lights and flipped on the projector. “So this one based on the date, is just before the attack on the Hydra base in Greece. This must have been the planning of that base’s take down.” It seemed like he was saying it more for his own records than for Tony’s education. Tony rolled his eyes in the dark turning towards the screen, watching as the camera followed a younger Aunt Peggy into a room where maps had been spread around, and surveillance photos showed the finer details of what things looked like at each of the marked places on the map. As the camera entered Captain Rogers looked up and smiled, Tony felt his heart stop. The films had no sound but when Bucky stepped out from behind Peggy and moved to Steve’s side, Tony noticed something he’d never seen before, something that needed no sound. The pair moved seamlessly together, little touches, little looks shared in moments of silent conversation. Bucky’s smile as he threw his arm over Steve’s shoulders pulling the larger of the two down and into his arms. Bucky’s sleeve moved up with the action showing the soul mark stamped onto his left wrist, Steve smiled leaning in, he looked so relaxed and blissful in Bucky’s arms. Watching the actions between the two made Tony’s heart hurt, they were perfect together. They leaned over the map, their arms crossing and brushing against each other. A wayward hand trailing across the other’s lower back as they moved to grab something then rejoined the table. “They really were the perfect pair.” His tutor said offhandedly as he scribbled notes down. As the film finished Tony stayed quiet, even if the comment wasn’t meant for him he couldn’t agree more, they were perfect, they would have never needed him.

Fanboy loaded the next film up “this one is just labeled team bonding fun, whatever that means.” he said before hitting play. It was a video of them training while at the base between missions, the Commandos were paired up in one on one races through the base’s obstacle course. Tim and Gabe, Jim and Pinky, Jacques and James. Each pair took off clambering over and through the obstacles racing against the other for some sort of prize while the others laughed, smiled and joked at the expense of the racing pair off to the side. Finally Steve and Bucky were racing through the obstacle course against one another, they were competitive but not to the extent of not having fun as well. They were by far the least competitive in their race to get to the end out of the pairs. Steve had a clear advantage with the Serum running through his veins, but he didn’t use it keeping the race good natured preferring to keep pace beside Bucky instead of ahead of him. The lighthearted nature of the two in the competition was made clear when Bucky leapt off one of the obstacles tackling Steve into the mud. The other Commandos could be seen laughing as it panned away from the two soldiers, Steve thrashing on the ground while Bucky tickled him.

Eventually Bucky won the race and looked very pleased with himself, his smile taunting as he looked back watching the blond cross the finish line behind him. Steve looked like a wreck with mud everywhere and his hair sticking all different directions but he had a smile on his face all the same as he shook his head at the ‘unsportsmanlike’ antics Bucky had used to win. Tony was glad he could read lips as the two stopped and Steve elbowed Bucky gently who in turn had a wide grin on his face “You know Buck most people would call that cheating.” He said throwing an arm over the brunette’s shoulders.

“Oh? And being genetically enhanced by a German scientist isn’t cheating?” Bucky responded, wrapping his own arm around Steve’s waist.

“So you tickled me?”

“Yea.”

“You tickled me to win a race.”

“I was just trying to even up the odds, you’re not exactly a 90 pound asthmatic anymore. You can take someone tickling you, or is it some big secret that your ribs are ticklish? I can see the headlines Stevie, Captain America’s big weakness, Tickle him.” Bucky asked, laughing with the other commandos before his hand moved once again to Steve’s sides causing Steve to laugh as he jolted and squirmed, Bucky had resumed tickling him.

“Jerk.” Steve laughed, finally getting a hold of both of Bucky’s wrists stopping the torment. 

“Punk.” Bucky responded in kind with a smile and giving Steve a quick kiss on the cheek. Tony watched the exchange smiling at how happy they were even in the high stress environment of war, they still had each other.

Tony was having a hard time watching the clips, cause while he wanted them to be happy, he was also selfish and wanted them to be there with him in the here and now. But that only made him feel worse here he was being selfish when they had given their lives to make the world a safer place, now he just felt guilty. It didn’t stop a hollow feeling from spreading in his chest, he chose to ignore it though, even as it grew stronger making him want to curl in and protect what had to be a hole in his chest pulling him in. Another clip of them and the Commandos relaxing at the pub that was just off base, Steve was laying back against Bucky in a booth, Bucky’s hand carding through dark blonde locks. They were so peaceful, the other commandos were accepting of the soulmates and the fact that Captain America had a soulmate of the same sex had done wonders to getting same sex mates more rights and validation in the world.

The next one made Tony’s heart hurt even more, his forearms pressed into the arms of the chair to keep himself sitting upright, it wasn’t a video of Bucky and Steve, but they were in the background relaxing under a tree. The other commandos were playing a game of horseshoes which would have been thoroughly entertaining if Tony had been watching it since he knew how competitive his uncles were even when it came to such menial lawn games. But Tony was staring past the game watching his dead soulmates, Steve was laying back against Bucky’s chest, his sketchbook out as he swiped the pencil across the page. Bucky was looking over Steve’s shoulder smiling as he pressed a kiss to the man’s temple. Steve looked back at Bucky with a smile brushing their lips together not paying attention to the rest of the world. He smiled as he turned back to his sketchbook, biting his lip as he went back to concentrating on his drawing. Bucky played with his hair as he looked at his lover’s face, clearly not mentioning the graphite smudges on Steve’s nose and cheek to him as he just smiled contentedly down at the other man. They fit together so perfectly there wasn’t room for another person, physically or emotionally, he would have never fit, Howard was right, he wouldn’t have been welcome in the relationship.

As the films continued on it became clear to Tony that they were the perfect team, they had each other's back in everything. When Steve got blow back from higher ups for not hiding the fact that Bucky was his soulmate Bucky stood there, right beside him. Steve refused to apologize for Bucky or their relationship, only Coronel Phillips had been able to step in to get the others to back off. On missions they worked together perfectly, already knowing what the other would do before it happened, they were a team and a force to be reckoned with. Even when Bucky wasn’t next to him he was still covering him from afar with his skills as a sniper keeping Steve safe from harm. 

Another film started but it was different from the others, it was more staged and filmed, it was a cinematic version of a mission, Steve and Bucky sitting together looking over a map on the hood of a car. The touches weren’t there but the looks were still there. What threw Tony off though was the compass in the film, it had Aunt Peggy’s picture in it. “Ah yes, I heard that this was a film that the military used as a recruiting tool, and they wanted to appeal to the masses at home that Captain America was serving even with a sweetheart at home.None of them needed to know that Agent Carter was only just out of the camera’s sight when this was filmed. It showed that Captain America and his Howling Commandos were just as human as everyone else. From what I’ve heard in the interviews Bucky had to convince Steve that it was a good compromise and it would help with recruiting and war time donations to support the troops.” Tony hadn’t heard about that. “The fact that Bucky and Steve were soulmates didn’t come out publicly til after the war. It was a major part in lobbying congress to change the way Soulmates of the same gender were thought of and getting them more legitimacy.” Tony realized that his soulmates had had to hide their relationship from the world, the soulmate gender equality act hadn’t passed til 1960. He would never be able to relate, he’d grown up in a world where same gender soulmates were legitimate and widely accepted, soulmates were just that, soulmates, they completed each other. Even after they were gone they had helped change the world, he couldn’t help the swell of pride he felt for the two men, his soulmates really were something else.

“Time to go!” Howard said from the doorway, Tony knew that voice, Howard wasn’t happy. “I need Tony for something, you two can get acquainted with my war friends next week” Howard said. The tape from the reel the tutor had just clipped onto the projector kept rolling as he packed up and left thanking Howard for letting them watch the films. Tony sat there staring at the blank screen he knew it was later than they normally went for his studies. Judging by the lighting behind the curtains it was well after the time Howard normally got home from work, the tutoring session had gone over by at least an hour. More than enough time for Howard to have had a heavy pour of whiskey or two.

Tony stood up knowing Howard wouldn’t want to be kept waiting. He stacked his own papers and notes putting them into a folder with the rest of his history stuff. Until the screen behind him flickered to life, he didn’t realize there had been more on this reel, and based on the audible catch in Howard’s breathing he didn’t know about this part either. But it was the sound that caught Tony off guard, the white noise of wind whipping past a mic filled the room. This was the only film that was hooked up to sound, it was towards the end of the films and the better technology Howard had set them up with must have allowed for sound with it. Why did Tony have to tinker with the projector a few years ago and make it so the embedded speakers automatically synced up.

Tony almost wished it didn’t have the sound, it might have been easier to watch, especially when he saw the zip line. Tony’s stomach dropped, he knew exactly what happened next, the mission to intercept Dr Zola. A mission that Bucky Barnes, who was standing next to Captain Rogers on the screen, would never make it back from. Uncle Gabe and Jim sat on the snowy rocks messing with a HYDRA radio, a zipline had been hooked up between the mountains. Uncle Falscee had a pair of binoculars up to his eyes as he watched for the train, while Uncle Tim kept watch to the rear. The camera moved to where Bucky and Steve stood side by side, their hands linked together as they looked out at the zipline “Remember when I made you ride the Cyclone at Coney Island?” Bucky asked. Tony’s heart stopped at the sound, the smooth deep voice making him weak in the knees. Tony could tell that Bucky was nervous but he still managed to throw a teasing comment at Steve, as a method of coping, for both of them, easy teasing banter was a commonplace thing and made the high tension situation have a bit more normalcy for them.

“Yea, and I threw up?” The warm affectionate tone washed over Tony the Brooklyn accent wrapping around him like a blanket, his chest hurt. Steve didn’t look all too thrilled at the memory Bucky had thrown out connecting the two situations. He was glad for the conversation though.

A small smile flitted across Bucky’s lips before he answered looking down at the zip line that was going to drop them onto the top of a train. “This isn’t pay back is it?” 

It was Steve’s turn to smile and tease “Now why would I do that?” He asked with a laugh, looking up at the zipline himself with a smile realizing that this ‘pay back’ may have brought him a small amount of satisfaction. Bucky just sighed with a smile and a shake of his head. 

Tony’s eyes were glued to the screen as he soaked up the movements, the sound of their voices, everything he could. His shoulders hunching as his chest caved in trying to protect himself from what he knew was coming.

“We were right Dr Zola’s on the train.” Bucky and Steve turned back to the voice Tony recognized as Uncle Gabe’s. “Hydra dispatcher gave’em permission to open up the throttle. Wherever he’s going they must need him bad.” As soon as Gabe said those words the air changed, steely resolve settling onto Bucky’s face, as Steve pulled his helmet onto his head, they worked quickly to get the zip line trolleys out and ready to attach to the line. 

Uncle Falscee, kept an eye to his binoculars his voice calling out when he saw the train round a bend “Let’s get going because their moving like the devil.” Controlled chaos ensued as the tensions rose ever higher and nervous energy was spent by tapping feet, lots of scanning the terrain or nervous talking.

Steve glanced around to the others hooking on his trolley “We only got about a 10 second window. You miss that window we’re bugs on a windshield” Steve said trying to comfort himself just as much as Bucky and Gabe who were standing behind him trolleys in hand. Uncle Jacques standing just to their side getting ready to count them into the plunge.

Falscee looked over at them and with a pointed look only said one thing “Mind the gap.”

Uncle Tim spoke next without the good hearted mirth Tony was used to it having. It registered in Tony’s heart just how serious a mission this was; God why did his entire chest feel like it was collapsing on itself. “Better get moving bugs.” Steve and Bucky stood ready, the determined set of their shoulders showing that they were ready to dive headlong after that train. And after 5 long agonizing seconds of silence Uncle Jacques called for Steve to go, and he was off the side of the mountain flying through the air down the zipline towards the train. Bucky stepped up next hooking on his trolley, going on Jacques' call almost the same moment it was secured flying down the zipline after Steve and towards the train as well. Then Gabe followed, the film ended as they landed on the top of the train. Tony stood there motionless, the ache in his heart tearing through him; it was cripplingly sharp, stabbing down his arms like an ungrounded electric current. That was the last time, anyone of that group had seen Bucky except for Steve and Uncle Gabe. The film reel went black, the tape clicking as it ran out and spun around the machine. Tony was still frozen in his spot, as was Howard in the doorway.

Tony turned to look at the man in the doorway, it was one of the few times Howard actually looked human to Tony, the pain of watching his friend knowing it was in his final minutes showed on his face. They both stood in the dark until Howard broke the silence and the words that came out of his mouth floored Tony. Howard rarely shared about his experience in the war or talked about Steve and Bucky outside of telling Tony he would have never and could never measure up to them. “That serum amplified everything about Steve, he was already a good man, with Erskine’s Formula though he became a great man. He knew the value of strength and he knew how to show compassion even in war. He wasn’t a good soldier though, he was awful at taking orders he didn’t believe in; he was always a good man first and a soldier second. Growing up Steve was always told he wasn’t enough, he was too small, too weak, too young, not enough, he proved every single person wrong. When Steve got back from rescuing the 107th from Azzano Barnes was livid with him for taking the risk he did; but he never yelled at him in front of the men. Steve deserved the credit, he had done something incredible, courageous and selfless. Banes couldn’t discount that, not from the guy who would always do the right thing, who could and given the chance always would make the sacrifice play. Especially not in front of all those guys that just days before had called him names, thrown tomatoes and harassed him on stage. As soon as they got behind closed doors though, Sergeant Barnes laid into him, Peggy and I had to keep guard down the hall for a solid 15 minutes while he yelled. Bucky couldn’t believe Steve hadn’t even waited til he’d left to do something as stupid as letting a German scientist experiment on him. He was so mad ‘You didn’t even last an hour before you managed to pick the biggest fight of your, our lives! For Christ’s sake Steve I thought I was taking the stupid with me and you were gonna be the rational one for once.’ But even at the end of his yelling, he still would follow Steve to the end of the Earth. He loved and admired that man over everything else, where ever one went the other wouldn’t be far behind. They were everything together; they were two sides of a coin balancing each other perfectly. They were best friends through everything, even their relationship. I’ve never seen a pair of soul mates like them, they’d be able to go from teasing each other mercilessly, to tripping over each other as they dragged the other into a room and locking the door, within seconds. It’d make your head spin sometimes. They really were something else, most people would get mad if their soulmate got kissed by someone else, not Barnes. No, he spent a good 5 minutes laughing, and not just a regular laugh, by the end of it he was crying he was laughing so hard. He knew something we didn’t though, he knew just how awkward Steve was around girls. Looking back on it we should’ve realized that sooner, hell when they first met Steve could barely talk to Peg for ten seconds before he’d end up sticking his foot in his mouth. The horrified look on Steve's bright red face said everything Barnes had needed to know, he never let him live it down either. Always teasing him saying it was a good thing he had already found him and that he was male otherwise Steve would have been a lost cause. Even Peggy was mad at him, more so than Bucky ended up being, she fired off a M1911A1 at him four times. Poor kid had to duck behind the shield he was trying out for safety; scared the shit out of all of us. She was livid with him, admittedly that was before she saw Sergeant Barnes’ reaction. She only cooled off when she saw Barnes’ reaction and heard him start cracking jokes, telling him good job and that it was about time he started carrying his weight when it came to keeping up appearances that they weren’t romantically involved. They were just Platonic soulmates, at least that was the cover story… it was everyone’s cover if they had a soulmate of the same sex, and it was always a lie. Same sex soulmates weren’t widely accepted or treated as valid and legal romantic partnerships yet. Peggy even gave Steve a picture of her to use if people questioned them. Those two made us want to be better, to make the hard choices and be more than we were, we all lost something the day Bucky fell. But Steve lost the most that day. Then just a few months later Steve made a hard choice, one that saved the country, it's hard to not respect it, it's hard to not want to be motivated by it. We all made choices we had to win that war, Steve and Bucky couldn’t sacrifice everything for it to have all been in vain.” Howard sighed and took a long drink from his glass, he shook his head staring into his glass like it would somehow answer his internal anguish. The realization hit Tony like a truck, Howard was still mourning them too, he had lost his friends to their righteous choices to protect and serve their country, but while he was still fighting, he mourned for them. Howard downed the rest of his drink turning from the study. “You start boarding school on Monday.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Floriography for the chapter.
> 
> Dragon plant - Dread  
> Bluebell - Humility  
> Peony - Shame  
> Lady’s Thimble - Submission  
> Marigold - Grief  
> Bilberry - Treachery  
> Sweet Briar - Wounded  
> Love-In-A-Mist - Perplexity  
> Iris - Passion  
> Daylilies - Pride  
> Lupine - Voraciously Happy  
> Magnolia - Perseverance 
> 
> ————————————
> 
> Oh my goodness the responses I've gotten from this story floored me, I’m so happy you all are enjoying it. I’m just getting started with this story, I have a few scenes already imagined out and written down I’m excited for what’s coming. But to answer a question i kept getting yes, Steve is going to wake up covered in flowers, Bucky too, how they’ll react to them you’ll have to see.


	3. Chapter 3: Red Primrose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok this is a long one.... its almost 30 pages. Thank you for all the reviews I adore reading them!! Honestly the theories you all have of what is going to happen next or in the future, how the boys are going to react, what Tony’s going to do, I find them all so interesting! I love reading them SOOO MUCH! They make my day. Those times when I see Inbox (1) are my favorite emails And messages to get.  
>   
> This chapter goes a little more in-depth with the soulmarks and how they work, so between this chapter and the last one, it should tell you a bit more about how the flowers are going to show up for Steve and Bucky. ;P  
>   
> I also wanted to give Tony parental figures in Peggy, Daniel, Ana and Mr Jarvis. And show why he doesn’t play well with others and just how far back that is embedded into him.  
>   
> Ok I’m done with my long note enjoy the chapter, and for those of you that have watched the second season of Agent Carter you’ll find a fun callback theme in this chapter.

Chapter 3

Tony wanted to learn all he could about soulmarks, over the next two years he dove head first into research about soulmates and soulmarks. He wasn’t great at chemistry or biology but he had a self serving, or self deprecating, desire, depending on how you looked at it, to learn as much as he could about them and the flowers. He was after all an engineer at heart and he wanted to know how the connection worked. He set about to learn all that he could, the hard part was he didn’t get any time with a set of soulmarks to look into or test his research with. Until a few months ago when Ana Jarvis had found his research. He was back at home for the weekend sitting at the table in the kitchen, one of the places in the house that Howard wouldn’t look for him, he was pouring through a large stack of photocopied notes and research papers. Tony had found in the last few years at boarding school that if you put a letter asking for research on Stark letterhead and sign it with Howard’s name you tended to get exuberant and dramatic results. Now at 12 he had put that skill to use, writing every major company doing soulmate studies to compile the research he was currently reading. His sandwich was half eaten pushed aside to make room for a theory paper that Tony had taken a highlighter to and was scribbling notes on. Ana leaned over his shoulder glancing at his notes, “Tony you know you could just ask Mr Jarvis and I.” she said, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze. 

It took the boy a few seconds for what she’d said to register. She was used to his delay, a side effect of his brain working so fast, it was processing faster than he was able to register, especially the surrounding world, he blinked as he was pulled out of his thoughts. “What?” He asked, even though he’d fully registered what she had said he didn’t understand what she was offering. He looked up at the woman who was putting a brownie on a plate for him. 

She set it infront of him and sat down at the table. “You put in your notes that you need to find a soul mark set to be able to run tests on. Why not ask Mrs Carter-Sousa and Mr Sousa or Mr Jarvis and myself? That gives you two sets.” She said with a kind smile and a pointed nod to his notes.

Tony shook his head. “I want to study the connection and what makes the flowers form, that means an injury would need to be created, and the tests would have to be run multiple times, I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“You don’t have to ask if it's voluntary Kicsi.” Ana chided, running a hand through his hair, he leaned into the touch, closing his eyes as she soothed him.

“But-” Tony squawked at the idea, he couldn’t let them do that.

“No, Kicsi” Ana cut him off, “I’ll contact Mrs. Carter-Sousa and tell her about your new project” Tony looked up at her his eyes wild, Howard had been livid enough when Mr. Jarvis and Ana had found out about his own soulmark, he couldn’t tell Aunt Peggy, not when she’d been Captain Roger’s best friend. “We won’t tell them about your mark Kicsi. Mr Jarvis and I saw how that turned out last time, and we would really rather not patch and stitch you up anymore than absolutely necessary.” Ana said, stroking a gentle hand against his cheek her tone leaving no room for him to question, not that he’d try. Like Mr. Jarvis he knew that attempting to argue with Ana was in the end futile. “Now then, since that’s been settled, finish your food, then you can get back to your research and writing your hypotheses and how you’re going to test them.” Ana waited for Tony to nod his head in agreement before she gently moved his stack of research and set his forgotten sandwich back in front of him.

That conversation with Ana had been two months ago, he made sure to research his topic thoroughly, especially with four of the closest people to him being the ones that had volunteered to be his guinea pigs. He was set on making sure he got results, he couldn’t not get results, they couldn’t do this for nothing. He was going through the final parameters of his next experiment, triple checking. This was the hardest one to ask of those who had volunteered to help him and it made him nervous. This was the point where he started getting into physical tests starting with the blood. At this point he knew the marks couldn’t be burned off, or cut off from experience, the mark just came back. Howard had tried both of those methods in a drunken rage one weekend night while Tony was home from school 3 months ago. It was early January, a time that Tony already knew was tough for Howard. It was that night that Ana and Mr Jarvis saw Tony’s soulmark. 

————————————

Booking it to the bathroom, Tony held his shirt in front of him by a pair of metal tongs, green and blue flames engulfing what had been his shirt. He’d yanked his shirt off when it caught fire from a volatile reaction and wouldn’t go out. Tony had never seen something that could burn under water until then. Turns out shampoo did however contain it, the sodium lauryl sulfate reacted well with it, creating hard crystalline bubbles full of, from what he could tell, was an indistinguishable flame. Tony was excited, the flames weren’t being fed by oxygen but were still burning, it didn’t take very much fuel to burn from what he was observing it was a huge source of potential energy. Howard had taken it to create a new version of Napalm. As he turned around from the tub he saw the three adults at the door, Howard, who was furious, his hand clenched tightly around the glass in his hand. And Mr. and Mrs. Jarvis who’s eyes were locked onto his exposed soul mark the red, silver and blue circle outlined in black on the right side of his torso high on his ribs. Mr. Jarvis had quickly realized it was necessary for Ana to exit, sending her to the kitchen. Howard then ordered Jarvis to take the newly created fire bubbles to his workshop carefully and set them into a containment unit. As soon as Jarvis was clear of the bathroom Howard had thrown his crystal tumbler at his head, Tony had ducked just intime but the tumbler exploded behind him causing the crystal to shower down on him, a piece flying back off the wall slicing deep into his lower back where it got lodged. Christmas Rose.

With his anxiety and adrenaline spiking Tony bolted through the door, well he tried to at least, Howard got a hold of him by the arm dragging him into the lab Jarvis had just vacated to ‘get rid of that damned mark once and for all.’ The skin had grown back where his soulmark was perfectly intact, no scarring affected it, even though it had been all but peeled and burnt off of him. The skin around the mark though was red and thick with scarring from the burnt and slashed skin. On his soulmates it would have shown the exact location of his soulmark. An entanglement of Rue, Cypress, Dragon Plant and Petunia flowers around the circle of the Captain’s Shield.

————————————

He knew the marks connected you to your soulmate. That the connection that didn’t pay any mind to time or space, or death, obviously otherwise how would he have ended up with his mark. No marks had ever been reported to be repeated, at least according to the database kept by the government. He had found that the connection could be severed though, an interesting concept, which told him that the location of the soulmark held a key factor in the connection. Missing limbs affected the connection, no soulmark, no flowers, at least for the person that was missing their mark, the other side still had the connection, even the one sided one. He’d found that out after reading about the experiments done on prisoners in the concentration camps. It would explain why he never had flowers, they weren’t alive when he’d gotten his mark. Even if they were alive Sergeant Barnes would be the only one he could have gotten any permanent flowers from, from everything Peggy and Howard had told him the serum prevented Captain Rogers from scarring. Even the Captain’s old scars had disappeared when he’d gotten the serum. Scars and injuries only resulted in flowers if the injury had resulted after the soulmark had appeared on the other. He’d never found another record of a triple bond, yet another sign that his was just a mistake, it was the only one. He never found another report of someone getting the soulmark of a person who was already dead either, he was the only one. 

He was getting really tired of being the only one. Only one with dead soulmates, only one smart enough, only child, only heir, only one with his own lab, only one who ate alone, only one without friend’s. He hated being the only one. 

It was the realization that the soulmark itself was a part of the connection that made him want to research the chemicals found in the blood of both soulmates, at the points of injury and at the mark’s themselves simultaneously. First he needed baseline samples to test against though. Luckily with the human body constantly pumping blood through the veins and a needle that took blood from further up the arm away from the point of insertion would work, he’d be able to get baseline samples. He then would have to cut into the arm at an exact point in one soulmate while drawing blood at that same place in the other simultaneously at their respective soulmarks and at the place of injury. Four simultaneous blood draws done across two different people. It was a complex process by the time he’d had to figure in all the variables, and then also get samples large enough to actually work with meant he’d need to ask four of the most important people in his life to injure themselves enough to bleed multiple times for his own selfish research purposes. A fact he’d brought up to them multiple times and even though they waved off his worry each time he still felt like he was asking too much of them. Yet here they were in early April in a back room lab in an underground bunker at Camp Lehigh with four trained and registered nurses and way more test tubes than he’d probably ever need, meticulously labeled for each of the 5 draws he’d be collecting per person by the end of the day 6 times over, 3 from small cuts, 3 from larger cuts. He’d had to leave the room at one point, he got hurt all the time, but he couldn’t stand watching them bleed for him and his project. They had insisted throughout the process and told him to stop worrying, it was their choice. He had to respect that, he couldn’t tell them not to, not when the four of them had all but volunteered for him so he could do the research he wanted.

With that part done and his samples stowed in the proper containment and storage conditions, he packed up all his notes, research, the new equipment he’d need to run the tests. He grabbed the file he’d left on Aunt Peggy’s desk, sliding into his backpack, it barely registered in his mind that it was considerably thicker than the last time he’d grabbed it, alas his mind was elsewhere and he didn’t pay it any mind. He loaded all of his new equipment into the car before clambering in himself, Mr. and Mrs. Jarvis sitting in the front seat. Mr. Jarvis started the car leaving the base driving him back to school. The campus was just an hour and a half away from the Base. Tony finally could stand being at school after what had been just over a year of transition. Even now one of the only reasons he tolerated it was because he could work on his own without interruption; Howard had funded a lab there for him, wanting Tony to diversify his studies. Tony would get anything he needed as long as he could put it into a formal request and show what the materials would be used for in his experiments. With Aunt Peggy and Howard’s connections at S.H.I.E.L.D. and to the government and some conditions, Tony was given just about anything he wanted, be it to play, create, work or just experiment with. Howard had got him a lab that was conjoined onto the suite he slept in. A perk of being a Stark, he got the best of the facilities, both workspace, study space and living, he was in the Dean’s dorms one of the nicest buildings that had been renovated to fit his independent study style. He was yet again the target of both classmate and faculty scorn for getting whatever he wanted just because he was a Stark. Not that he heard about it much since he rarely left his room, except for meal times and the occasional trip to the library. But the close proximity to the lab and workshop was only one of the two reasons he liked school, the other being that he finally had found someone who was almost as smart as him. Tiberius Stone was only 80 IQ points away from Tony which meant he actually could interact with the older boy on an intellectual level, something that was a new experience for him. Tony was thrilled, he finally had a connection, someone he, after a year, now considered as a friend.

Ana hugged Tony as they finished unloading his equipment from the car and into his workshop, setting up the new workstation he’d need to be able to run his tests. Along with a stack of new chemistry and biology books. Enough to get him by at a basic college minor level if he’d read them all. It would be enough for him to conduct his experiments, at least the first few he wanted to run based on the research he’d been able to collect so far. Others he would need to send off to be done at labs with a more advanced setup. As Mr. Jarvis helped him move the last of his stuff back into his room, Ana set a tin down on the desk by his bed, with an order that he was not to eat all the brownies in one sitting, and make himself sick; there were enough there to last him the whole week. She hugged him, drawing him into her arms, he sighed, relaxing as he hugged her back. Ana and Edwin Jarvis' touch had never caused him to flinch or tense up like virtually everyone else’s did. When Ana released him he scooted toward Edwin who with a small smile and a sigh wrapped his arms around the boy “Shall we plan for me to pick you up in two weeks, Sir?” 

“Yes Jarvis,” Tony nodded, stepping back from the butler and his wife, the family cook whom he’d grown used to being an integral part of his life.

“Well then Kicsi, we will see you then.” Ana said and with that she and her husband walked back to the car to drive back to the Manor. 

Tony felt the empty feeling start to creep up on him so he turned to occupy himself by organizing his lab and the research on his desk. He didn’t bother shutting the door, he knew if he kept his lab door slightly ajar, he was inviting in visitors. Even though Tiberius Stone was the only one person who ever visited him. He’d fallen into the practice a year ago before he’d built the boombox, his first project in the lab, and had gotten it up and running, the noise of something in the background always helped his overactive brain focus better. He much preferred the loud beat and riffs of the rock and roll music Ty had shown him over the classical or jazz music he was used to listening to at the manor. The voices of his floormates had been a workable substitute while he was without the music. 

———————————— Flashback———————————— 

With the door open to the hallway Tiberius had stepped into the lab/workshop from the hallway, he lived the next floor up but he figured he’d come say hi to the new kid. Stark, his father had gotten the school to bust up half of the lower level with construction for the kid, a 10 year old, in the Dean’s dorms on an independent study course, whatever that was supposed to mean. He’d knocked on the door leaning back against the frame, his dad had told him to play nice with the new kid, so here he was. “Hello?” he’d called into the room. Tony was so into his project it took him a solid 15 seconds before he responded. By that time Tiberius had walked into the room, and was staring at a blueprint for a robot that Tony had sketched up the schematics for over the past weekend.

Tony had clambered out from under the machine he was working on and popped up seeing the older dark haired male in the room “Hey, what are you doing in here?” Tony snapped glaring at the other boy.

Tiberius glanced over, evaluating the young Stark for a moment before answering. “I saw the door was open, so I came over to say ‘Hi’ to the new guy in the dorm. Most of the time if the door is open it's seen as an invitation to come in.” Tiberius had said before straightening up from his place still looking over the schematics “Why are you not using pneumatics for the systems?” Based on the workshop he could at least maybe talk shop with the kid

“What?”

Tiberius nearly rolled his eyes, seriously the kid had all the toys in the world it seemed but didn’t know the difference between hydraulics and pneumatics. He tried again. “Why are you using fluid instead of gas in your pumps?”

Tony stared at him for a moment, was this guy actually asking about his designs. It took him a second to answer as he stared at the boy who had a single eyebrow arched looking steadily more and more unimpressed. “Hydraulics are stronger, you can get more pressure out of them, they don’t leak, they are more durable, they are more efficient, less maintenance, less expensive to maintain, and they are more precise.” Tony listed out quickly hitting all the reasons he’d picked the hydraulic system over the pneumatics’ one.

The unimpressed look slid off the blue eyed boy's face, a one sided smile pulling up on a corner of his mouth, this was better. “Ok, but pneumatics are cheaper to set up and take down, summer is in 7 months, you’ll just have to move it out. If you’re handing electricity, which based on what I’m seeing in the workshop here you are, pneumatics are more shockproof, and they are also cleaner.”

Tony was enjoying this banter, whoever this was could, at least sort of, keep up with him. Tony waved at him absently as if he hadn’t thoroughly weighted out the options. “Depends on the medium in the hydraulic chamber and if it's cased in a rubber polymer then it becomes shockproof. I’m not in the medical field, working with computer chips or food service, cleanliness wasn’t a factor that needed to be weighed into the decision. I’m staying over the summer so I don’t have to move it.” Tony rattled off as he went back to tightening a bolt on the boombox he was building. 

———————————— End Flashback ———————————— 

A year later Tiberius had since insisted that Tony call him Ty, “Tony, you know you can call me Ty, all my friend’s do, there’s no need for the formality of our Fathers.” Ty had said. Tony had agreed, jumping at the offer of friendship. Ty was right they didn’t need to be sucked into the competition of Howard Stark and Tyson Stone, he told Tony that leaving his door open would let him and the rest of the floor know if he was open to visitors or not. So with the growing cold of Ana and Edwin Jarvis leaving Tony did just that, a sign to the 17 year old that he was back on the campus, in his lab and available to talk, if the older of them chose to stop by.

Tony was just finishing the organization of his research stack when he found a thick file in the back part of it, the names Stark, Wilkes, and Samberly stamped onto it with a name Rift Generator and under it, scrawled in Howard’s messy handwriting, were the words The Shears of God in quotes. Tony wasn’t supposed to have this, this was something from Peggy’s work, that Howard had worked on, if the name of the file in quotes didn’t give it away, the last name did. He moved it to his other workstation so it wasn’t trapped in with the other things he was organizing and wouldn’t be forgotten when he went back home again, Aunt Peggy would understand the honest mistake. He just had to make sure it got back into her hands and not Howard’s, what Howard didn’t know couldn’t hurt him. He moved back to his pile, starting to sort through it creating stacks based on the type of research they were and what they studied before he filed them away. His files were labeled based on what he was looking into, the research helped with the set up for each test he wanted to run. As he was finishing his sorting process Ty knocked on the door walking in. “Hey Tony how was your weekend?” The blue eyed young man asked.

Tony looked up and smiled at him “It was good, I got the samples for that project on soulmarks I mentioned last week.” Tony looked back down continuing to finish his sorting.

Ty came to sit perched on Tony’s other desk, the one for the workshop projects instead of the lab side. He looked down seeing a new file on the desk. It hadn’t been there at the beginning of the weekend. Ty flipped the file open, whatever a “Rift Generator” was it sounded cool. It also sounded like something Viastone would be interested in. “Tony I thought you didn’t have a soulmark.”

“I don’t,” Tony’s answer came fast and rehearsed, it was a lie, but it beat out explaining that he had one, but it was defective. “But that doesn’t mean they aren’t interesting, a connection that doesn’t follow the rules of science, I want to know why. Is it chemical? Is it physical, is it both? It’s it there some kind of wavelength that messes with it? Is there a reaction in the brain when the injury of the other takes place? Or at the site of the injury or soulmark in one of both of the soulmates?”

Ty laughed, still flipping through the file. “Ok ok forget I asked, I just didn’t think you’d be so caught up in the science behind soulmarks it seems a little girly.” Ty said pulling the file into his lap studying it more in-depth.

Tony dropped his head with a shrug. “I just want to know how they work, it's the experience of finding out. And to see if it’s replicable for veterans and others who lost their marks in accidents. I think it’d be something that they would want to learn more about to get that part of them back.” Tony started to ramble again, he would alway have a special place in his heart for the military be it keeping them safe overseas or helping them when they got home. It mattered to him. His soulmates had given their lives serving their country, the lease he could do was try and help.

Ty didn’t answer. He was looking through the file and really didn’t care if Tony wanted to talk about soulmarks. He was more stunned with how the kid could not see what was sitting right in front of him, he had the schematics for a machine that could generate a rift that would connect two different four dimensional space times. It could lead to an entirely new field. He had the ability to embark on a new journey with so much discovery and innovation, how was he not exploding with the concept. Either way ‘Viastone would have never wasted such an opportunity’ Ty thought snidely. But what he had in his hand was Stark property, he couldn’t just take it. Although based on Tony’s reaction, he hadn’t looked at this yet, and Ty could always beg for forgiveness, it was the better option strategically for Viastone if he begged for forgiveness over asking permission.

Ty found exactly what he was looking for inside, an envelope stuffed full of papers with equations that looked like they had been scribbled on and then stuck to a wall. A set of pictures also sat in the file, a duplicate of them, in a way, he wasn’t taking information out of the file, it still had the information just in picture form instead of the paper. He pulled the envelope out and tucked it under his leg and butt to hide it. “So what about this?” Ty asked after a few moments making sure Tony hadn’t seen him, he picked up the file he was reading with both hands showing what he was talking about. This was what he wanted to get Tony talking about now. “How’d you get Stark Industries to let you take this on?”

Tony saw what it was “Oh! Uh, I didn’t -“ Tony said realizing what it was in Ty’s hands. He didn’t even know what it was, he hadn’t looked, he’d just set it aside knowing he should get it back to his Aunt.

Ty’s eyes shot up as he realized Tony wasn’t supposed to have the file, well his day had just gotten even better “You stole it? Dang Tony I would have never thought you’d have it in you!” He laughed, but it was out of happiness, Tony Stark had just dumped a gold mine in his lap, and he couldn’t go tell anyone about it without showing to the world that he had just committed industrial espionage, against his family’s own company! And the boy didn’t even know it.

“I didn’t-“

“Tony, I get it,” he air quoted “you ‘didn’t steal it’ but come on dude I get why you did, you had to have seen the potential in the project or else you wouldn’t have taken it! This Zero-Matter stuff seems like a really interesting thing to work with, it's like a perfect fluid, gas and solid! The innovative potential on this is incredible! I don’t blame you for snagging it, this could change the world!” Ty said. Tony would have to look at it after Ty left.

“It does have a lot of potential, that’s why I wanted to look into it more.” Tony lied, at this point what else could he say.

“Do you mind if I take a look at this? I’d be interested to see what all it can be used for.” Ty asked, he was careful to keep his face carefully neutral as he asked the question.

It was with that question that Tony suddenly felt the crushing need to get the file out of Ty’s hands. This wasn’t good, that was material that was supposed to only be in the hands of his Aunt Peggy. Something he’d learned to mean that it was a project or information that she didn’t trust his Father with. When Aunt Peggy took his projects Tony knew it was either a lack of trust or they were dangerous and in some cases, most really it was because she didn’t trust Howard and they were dangerous; all of those options were equally scary to Tony. It was that realization that had words coming out of Tony’s mouth before he could think them through. “Actually I wasn’t supposed to leave it out. I need to go put it in my room.” Tony didn’t know why he said that, he knew better than to say things like that it was one of Howards rules to business, don’t tell others what you think is important, and he’d just done that.

He held out his hand and Ty handed the file over, immediately, Tony took it, managing to slow down his haste, hopefully masking his anxiety of not having control of the file. “Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to go snooping through your stuff. Anyway I just wanted to check in on you and make sure you were holding up alright, you're sometimes a little scattered when you come back after visiting your house. I’ll leave you to your projects and your soulmark research stuff. Have you thought about getting the pairs to do a CT Scan when the flowers show up?” He asked following Tony to the door, the envelope tucked under his shirt and behind him.

“No I haven’t but that’s an interesting idea! It would tell us if the marks are affecting the brain or if it is all through the marks alone. Thanks Ty, that’s a really good idea.” Tony said as Ty walked through the door.

Ty turned to face him as he did. “Not a problem Tony, I’m always here to help.” 

“Night Ty,” Tony said. 

“Good night Tony,” Ty said with a smile as Tony closed the door, before he turned and ran up to his room, yanking the packet out when he was out of sight, he had a long night ahead of him.

Tony walked back into his room. He had a lot of studying to get to now. If Ty was right this stuff could be a huge step forward in innovation and into the future. He sat down to look through the file, he rewrote out the equations from the pictures. Then looked at the other work from the scientists on what else they had done to contain the rift, the warning stamped on the side of the file was one of the more serious ones he’d seen. From what he could tell if what the observations were saying was correct then this Zero-Matter, if it was properly harnessed and used, could create a portal to other places by traveling through the seams between the two dimensions that were opened by the rift and if modulated could be traveled between like a teleport. He also wanted to look into the other dimension; they hadn’t gotten any data from it. It did highlight that the other dimension was dangerous and quite possibly aggressive, a solid containment unit would be needed, with multiple fail safes, and they had found it in high energy x-rays and the gamma cannon. High frequency wavelengths could contain it, so was it the product of low wavelengths, below even long radio waves. If that was what it came from then what about the opposite side, was there a force that was equally as powerful at the super high energy gamma ray side? He scribbled relentlessly letting the theories and questions he had fly onto the pages in front of him. He wished he could talk to Samberly or Wilkes about it but he knew that would only alert Howard that he had the file and Aunt Peggy as well. He couldn’t talk to anyone about it… well maybe Ty. Ty had shown interest and it couldn’t hurt to just run theories with the older boy, especially if he didn’t say it was about Zero-Matter outright. Ty was smart enough to keep up a bit and he already was interested by the Zero-Matter, he made a mental note to bring it up with Ty the next time he saw him.

Tony started on the plans for the containment field and safe measures. He planned out multiple safety measures in his design, a remote closure, the gamma cannon, he was gonna need a less bulky version of that one, and the original hand crank Howard had placed on the generator, but Tony added on a clip for a rope to hold the person cranking down. He needed to be ready for anything when he went to test and take measurements from both parts of the rift. According to the reports in the file the rift that was opened had both a void and a bright outer mist that circled it. He saw the two different parts as two different forces working in the reaction. With both of these matter states present then he could only deduce that it was from Newton’s third law; the two different parts were the actions of the equal and opposite forces. Tony was more excited to test them, if they were within a containment field when the rift opened then Tony could potentially get a lot of data from both parts of it. The high energy x-rays were a good call to keep the Zero-Matter stable since from the sound of it, the other side of the rift could be aggressive and had the ability to push into their dimension, entering through the open rift. The containment field and safety precaution of a gamma cannon were necessary in case of emergency, he decided he needed at least four core charges so he could have backups in case the first one wasn’t enough or something went wrong. Those precautions would be the first things he’d need to build, that way if things went south he could shut the project down at any time.

Tony wanted to know more, two different four dimensional space times he could only imagine the amount of innovation he could do with the knowledge. Add in the study of at least one new form of matter, and if it could prove to be harnessable in a stable form that was close to antimatter; and given that happened if his theory of equal and opposite was true then he’d have two new forms of matter to experiment with and learn about. His brain was running in a manic whirlwind of possibilities easily making the jump to the sci-fi world. He couldn’t help it really. He was still a child and he was excited by the prospect of new discovery and innovation. If he could get these two types of matter to exist could they be combined in a way to create power, was Star Trek’s Matter-Antimatter reactor a possibility? Tony’s rational brain that would have told him to put this project down and give it back to his Aunt had left the building, 

He dove into the construction of the containment field immediately. He now had a steady rotation of projects that could keep his mind well occupied. This new Zero-Matter project, his soulmate tests and his robot’s coding. It had been a long time since he’d been this excited to build and work on all the projects he was currently entertaining. They were all so different from one another, each was a welcome distraction from the other. The coding he was working on for his lab assisting robot required a completely different skill set from the other two and he had hit a stumbling block in the robot’s coding recently. He wanted his robot to be able to learn which meant he needed to create artificial intelligence, he wanted a robot sidekick of sorts, like R2D2 was to Luke in Star Wars, or Dewey was to Lowell in Silent Running, he wanted a robot that could help him in the workshop and could learn as they went and be a thriving part of his work. However, he found that creating a robot that was always advancing, a responsive version of his workarounds and machines in his lab at home, was difficult. It was also a project he couldn’t ask for help on, with the release of Saturn 3 still so recent, and the memory of Westworld where malfunctioning Artificial Intelligences wreaked havoc, a fear of A.I. technology had arisen, made even more relevant with the recent rise of computer technology. These fears forced him to keep his idea for a learning robot close to the vest until he could get it up and running. Until he could show that A.I.s weren’t harmful technological advances. For now though he enjoyed the ability to switch his brain between the three projects. It turned out that working on multiple projects at once was actually helpful to him, he was more productive on each of them. He never felt like he was stalled, if he got stuck on one he could back burner it and work on one of the other projects, his brain constantly working on the multiple projects at hand. It was how he figured out he could quite literally multitask, easily working at least two equations in his head at the same time. He continued to work that newfound ability in the next few years until he could listen to lectures and books on tape while working on complex problems and schematics for new designs. He enhanced his multitasking ability to the point where he was always able to be looking into at least 2 to 4 different strategies or problems at once. His overactive brain becoming yet again, both a blessing and a curse, but it was something that would help him in the future, processing things 4 times faster while working on multiple different projects was just an added bonus.

He saw huge improvements in all of his projects over the next few weeks, his robot was slowly getting closer and closer to being functional. He was thrilled at the fast approaching date when he could turn the robot on, give it name and start the learning process for it to become his workshop assistant. He’d also found that there were chemicals produced at the site of the soulmark and that those chemicals were sent through the bloodstream to the cells in the epidermis where the soulmate’s injury was located, signalling the epidermis cells to pigment and create the flowers. He needed more research on it to figure out how the body knew where the site of the other soulmate's injury was, but he had a good jumping off point. He had sent some samples to a nearby lab to deduce what the exact chemicals were that he was dealing with and if the chemicals differentiated based on emotion. He had enough information though to plan out the next test he wanted to do with his volunteering soulmate pairs; he wanted to see if the nervous system was part of the connection. 

Tony had also finished with the safety measures for the Zero-Matter project, the containment fields were built and could be scaled to higher energy or lower energy x-rays; he wanted to be able to measure and define the exact energy level from the fields so he could study what happened in different scenarios. He knew that the more he had the ability to change and control variables in the experiment the more information he could obtain. He started on the equipment to measure different parts of the rift, he wanted to study as much of it as he could. He also knew the rift had almost no data on it so he’d need to get as many different sets of data as he could to even know where to start with the study. At the present moment he didn’t even know what could be studied. It was like starting from an almost blank page, he knew it was there but he didn’t know any of the properties; he was going to be discovering new materials and possibly elements. 

He approached Ty at the breakfast table. It had been three weeks since their last chat about the Rift Generator. “Hey Ty,” Tony shifted nervously as he stood behind Ty with his tray, the other boy was surrounded by classmates at the table. In the past Ty had always made room next to him for Tony. Tony hoped that that was still a possibility, he hadn’t really ventured out to talk to the other boy for more than a casual ‘Hi’ in the hall since he’d ended up with the file. Ty also hadn’t been around as much as he normally was, Tony understood that though finals were coming up in the next few weeks so he was probably studying. Ty had to do well on his finals, MIT was strict on the final grades their applicants had to maintain to be admitted in the fall. Ty had said he couldn’t have less than a 3.75 unweighted GPA that term to be able to attend MIT the next year. Tony respected that, MIT was the school to go to for engineering, physics, and just about any other technical field. It was the top pick on his own list of colleges. 

“Morning Tony.” Ty said nodding at the boy next to him to move over. Ty was hoping Tony would show up soon, he’d even been staying longer at the breakfast table than he normally did. He had gotten stuck on an equation from the packet he’d grabbed and it was making finishing the rift generator schematics tough, none of the equations were adding up properly. “How are you doing?”

“I’ve been good, just working on my projects.”

“Oh that’s good, you still working on that soulmate thing?”

“Yea, kind of.. well no not as much as I normally would have, I actually just sent some things off to a lab for that, but I’ve been more caught up with working on a different file recently.” Tony admitted hoping Ty would get his drift. To his delight Ty did, an eyebrow raising as he glanced sideways at Tony.

“Oh?” Ty questioned trying in vain to not look too excited, Tony wasn’t looking at him though, the young brunette was too busy fiddling and pulling at his fingers nervously to notice. “Is this about the file you brought to school a few weeks ago when you started your soulmark blood work research?” Ty asked, he had to know, he had to make sure. Tony nodded, “ok then, what about it?” Ty asked looking up at the others at the table with a pointed look, they all stood and left in the next minute to head out leaving the young brunette alone with Ty.

“What made you so interested in it? What would you test for if you could?” Tony almost immediately blurted out, when they were alone.

Ty smirked that hadn’t taken long, but the outburst told Ty something else too, Tony had most likely already built the generator. “Well since you wouldn’t know anything about the other side of the portal, rift, whatever it is that you’re generating, then you would have to account for testing everything you could possibly take data on, and you’d want the measuring instruments to be able to return as well, or at least be able to transmit the data.” Ty had already given this question quite a bit of thought, but he couldn’t come out and say all the things he would test, that would tip the boy off and look suspicious.

“Well from the notes I have the elements don’t seem to be the most stable.” Tony admitted, “So I don’t want to cross any lines and end up creating something worse because I don’t know anything about it.”

“Ok” Ty nodded pulling out a piece of paper, the equation he was struggling with on the top of the paper, “so let's write down the variables and how to test all of them and once that data is collected you can form hypotheses to test and see how the rift is actually generated and how it works within our reality and the fabric of our 4 dimensional space time.” Ty slid the piece of paper in between them depositing two pencil’s onto the table, he picked up one and started writing down measurable variables, pressure, light, wavelengths, temperature, atmospheric conditions, elements, magnetic fields… Tony joined in, what could they find out, could they take samples? How would they store the samples safely? They were slowing down when the bell rang signaling that classes began in 15 minutes, Tony had a good start on things to test now and he could easily continue the list on his own. “Shoot, I gotta run Tony, I still have to get back to the dorms and change for my classes.” Ty said moving to put things away.

“Not a problem Ty, do you mind if I keep this?” Tony asked, pointing at the paper with the list. Ty knew he had to play this right.

“Not at all,” He said waving Tony off as he stacked his trash onto his tray. “I just need this part.” He leaned over to rip the top part of the paper off, the part with the equation that he had yet to figure out on it. Tony stopped him from ripping it, he scribbled on the top of the page, crossing out the 8 and writing a 6 in its place. “Oh! I didn’t need you to do that.”

“Don’t worry about it Ty, It was the least I could do to repay you for your help with this.” Tony said with a wide smile ripping the top of the paper for him and handing over the equation. 

“Well then thank you.” Tony said nodding to Ty as he packed up his own tray to head back to his workshop and start on the instruments that would be taking measurements of everything they had just talked about.

“I’ll see you around Tony,” Ty called as he threw his bag over his shoulder and moved away, a wide grin splitting across his face that had been easier than he’d thought it would be, and from the sound of it Tony had already built the machine, now he just had to see if it worked before he sent off the information to Viastone.

————————————

Tony loaded up the completed rift generator onto one of the two trolleys he had in his workshop and wheeled it next to the other trolley by the door. He then set his containment field instruments, a long rope and the high powered gamma blaster with its belt of 6 charges onto the second trolley placing it next to the one with the generator. The gamma cannon from the files notes had used parts that were 20 year outdated, he had gone for a smaller version, and with the weapons technology of Stark Industries he successfully miniaturized it making the blaster easier to manage and faster to reload. He had found a good place to test the generator in the football field behind the dorms that backed up to woods and the industrial district of the small town the boarding school was on the outskirts of. It provided him with a fair amount of open space at least an acre on all sides. Tony was most thrilled that he was finally at a place where he could test the generator, he’d gotten the specialized equipment from Stark Industries that would now allow him to conduct all of the data gathering research he needed to hopefully learn enough about the rift so he could create testable hypotheses to find answers about it and how the collision of the two dimensions worked. He was all set to start his testing the next morning, it was a quieter day since most of the campus had gone home for the weekend and the other half would be holed up studying, he’d picked this Saturday just after breakfast specifically because there wouldn’t be very many people around. It was the weekend before finals started and everyone who was still on campus would be either holed up inside of their dorms or in the library studying, except Tony, he was going to figure out if interdimensional travel was possible!

The blindingly bright flash lit up Tony’s room waking him but it was the loud crackle outside his window that had Tony leaping from his bed and flying to the window that looked out the back to the football field. All the lights of the field were on, and there in the middle were 5 seniors, his machine, and none of the containment parts. Tony felt like the rug had just been yanked from under him, he was moving before he had time to fully think it through Tony raced out of his room, his feet were bare, his pajamas rumpled and hair sticking up in every direction, he knew he had to get out there and close that portal. He threw open the door to his workshop grabbing the gamma ray blaster, the belt with the extra charges and the pre-tied rope, off the trolley, which was now the only one in his workshop. As he looped the rope over his head he was glad he’d set about pre-measuring and tying figure 8 loop knots into it the night before. He wrenched the door open not bothering to close it as he raced out of the dorm. He didn’t care if he woke the building up slamming the heavy front door as he ran out into the cool night. He didn’t care when he heard Dean Fesst screaming from somewhere behind him as he raced towards the field. He barely flinched when he heard the yell from the man that he was going to call his father. He raced into the field, stopping only to tie one the end of the rope around one of the stadium light poles securing it with a taut-line hitch giving the knot a long tail which he tied around himself using a Palomar knot. He was now secured to the light post he raced into the field letting the rope out as he went.

Tony ran onto the field, stumbling in shock when he saw Ty in the middle of the group. Why was Ty out here? What had possessed Ty to take the generator? How had Ty known it was done? Tony yet again felt his equilibrium falter out of shock and in this case a hollow betrayal as the trust he had had for Ty moments ago was ripped away. But he didn’t have time to deal with that just now, he’d have to deal with that issue after the rift was closed. “What are you doing?” He yelled.

“It works Tony!” Ty yelled back glee on his face, he didn’t even have the decency to look ashamed by what he’d done. “It works!”

“Ty you don’t have the containment field! That rift can’t stay open safely without it!” Tony was almost pleading with him, he was going to get someone hurt! “Close it!” Tony yelled tossing the rope forward to the older boys. “That rift is going to start disrupting gravity any second now and is going to try and suck you in. Get the loops around you!” Tony yelled, the fear on his face must have told Ty he was serious, cause as soon as he said that Ty had nodded and lunged for the rope Tony had thrown at them. The others followed Ty’s lead. They were quick about it luckily as soon as the last one was secured, the gravity on the field started to get wonky. “Ty where is the remote shut off?”

“What?”

“The remote,” Tony froze as he saw it, it was sitting on top of the rift generator well it was, “That!” he pointed at the remote that was now floating up towards the void that was above the generator “Grab it!” he called the instruction out to the closest guy to the generator, Hank? Maybe? Honestly he’d never learned the names of Ty’s friends, Maybe Hank ran forward, well attempted to, but the weird gravity had another plan for him. Maybe Hank was being pulled up and toward the rift too, the remote floating into the rift and disappearing. The others lifted into the air as they moved forward to try and help their friend. Tony needed to resort to plan B, he grabbed a gamma blaster charge off the belt that was still secured around him and loaded the for lack of a better word, ray gun. Maybe Hank disappeared into the void as well as Tony turned on the blaster. Cursing that the contraption took 10 seconds to sequence before he could fire it. “I’m going to try and close it.” He yelled. 

“But what about Henry?” Ty yelled,looking wide eyed back at Tony. ‘Hmmm, I guess his name was Henry, Hank was at least semi-close to the right name.’ Tony couldn’t help thinking to himself impressed he’d gotten that close in the given situation.

“I don’t know!” Tony called back “The containment field I built that you left was supposed to keep this from happening, and that remote was so it could be closed from a distance so no one would be sucked into it.” Tony said unable to hide his frustration and anger at the current situation, he’d built in safety precautions! They just hadn’t used them! He had done it the right way! This wasn’t how this experiment was supposed to work! They’d ruined it! They were lucky he’d over prepared having learned from the other mistakes that had been reported in the file.

Tony was glad his footing wasn’t being affected by the weird gravity, he leveled the blaster at the void and fired. The Gamma ray blaster hit the void, snapping it closed, and the boys who had been floating away and towards the rift all hit the field. In a line tied safely to the rope. Tony let out a sigh of relief as he collapsed to the ground on his knees finally feeling the adrenaline pumping through his veins realizing just how fast his heart was beating, he felt it slamming into his chest heavily. Tony loaded another Gamma blaster charge. He’d read about what had happened when Wilkes had gone into the rift. Henry had gone in this time though, and now he needed to see if he would have to deal with the same situation, he had to see if the same thing had happened to Henry. A plan started formulating in his head on how to best deal with the two possible scenarios.

He calculated out where the safe distance line in his head... without the containment field he was right on the edge of it at 50 feet. He ran through his plan quickly in his head, planning for the worst case scenario that Zero-Matter had binded to Henry’s body while he was in the rift. What he didn’t account for was the 4 other boys running off without Henry. Leaving Tony alone to deal with this mess they’d created. Tony watched in horror as they ran off across the field and disappeared into the blackness just on the other side of where the lights of the field had himself, Henry and the generator lit up. He looked back at the motionless body of Henry, even from his place almost 30 feet away now he could see the bubbling skin like something was trapped underneath, something that was trying to get out.

Tony grit his teeth taking in a long slow breath trying to get his heart rate down, he had to deal with this first then he could worry about the others and where they had run off to. Tony stood up digging his heels into the ground as best he could and pulled on the rope, he slipped and skid as he slowly pulled Henry’s body back from the generator, but not past the safe zone line. Not yet. Tony shimmied out of his own rope that was holding him. He ran past Henry as he groaned on the ground, it sounded like he was in pain, his skin was bubbling even more than when he’d first come out of the rift, he was losing his fight with the Zero-Matter. Tony flipped on the machine again, booking it away from the generator and back to the safety of his rope which he squirmed back into. The rift opened and stabilized behind him as he got behind the safeline. Henry had finally woken up and was stumbling to his feet, swaying in place Tony pulled the slack from the line back through the taut-line hitch at the side of his body then tying it off on the back side of the hitch keeping it so Henry couldn’t be pulled back in again. Tony then focused the blaster on Henry’s back and fired. The gamma rays hit him, forcing the release of the Zero-Matter from his body. Henry yelled as it left, but it didn’t sound like a yell of pain, Tony stopped paying attention as he realized it hadn’t actually hurt Henry. “No!” Henry yelled as the Zero-Matter left and reentered the rift. Henry tried to scramble forward to get it back. “No I need it!” Henry yelled, trying to surge forward in his hysteria, quickly finding that the rope around him wasn’t allowing him to move forward.

Now that Tony was sure all the Zero-Matter was gone he tried to pull Henry back. “Back up! I’m going to close it!” Henry had other plans though, he yanked off the rope and ran off staggering towards the generator cranking the fail safe tony had left on the machine from Howard’s original schematics, Henry cranked quickly to start the rift closing. “No!” Tony screamed, scrambling forward grabbing the rope loop that had just been around Henry and tightening it on him. As the rift began to close it started to pull things in again, lifting the bits of grass and mud off the field that had been loosened by the boy running away, and Tony dragging Henry backwards, up and into the rift. Tony was almost to Henry when the rope tugged around his middle, he’d run out of slack. The rope was long enough when Tony was back behind the safety line but now with both sides at full extension he was short. Tony whirled around to look at the rope, trying to figure out how he could lengthen the rope safely; there wasn’t a way, he couldn’t get closer, and he was still 10 ft away, and now he was starting to lift off the ground too. He couldn’t reach Henry, Henry just smiled at him before he let go of the crank allowing himself to be pulled into the rift. Tony cried out to Henry again in vain, not that he could do anything, his own feet were no longer on the ground either, he was stuck off the ground with a halfway closed rift in front of him that was trying to pull him in too. 

He had only one option left, he had to close it, Henry might come back again, and then he’d be faster to close the rift on him. He’d tie that rope even tighter so Henry couldn’t escape and dive back into the void. Tony squirmed in mid-air attempting to load the Gamma blaster again, not an easy feat from his place all but upside down, all while being yanked towards the void feet first. The gravity pull must have been getting worse around him; he heard the creak of the fence at the far end of the field looking up intime to see it let go from its moorings in the ground and fly into the void. He got the blaster loaded, 10 seconds. He felt himself slip forward in the knots he gripped the rope til he was sure he wasn’t sliding more. Just as the 10 seconds were almost up he realized the gravity field had gotten even farther and stronger, the bleachers were flying across the field toward him, and from the other side cars and trucks were being pulled in from the street a good acre away. They flew into the rift as the blaster hit 10. He aimed and fired as he heard metal creaking behind him. The pole he’d tied his rope to starting to bend towards the rift pulling against its grounding. Tony hit the rift with the blast closing it. His body dropped like a rock back to the ground landing awkwardly on his upper back knocking the air out of his lungs on impact, an impact which also knocked him out when his head smacked forcefully backwards into the hard ground.

\--------------------------

When Tony came too it was with a glass of cold liquid to the face. He gasped bolting up, the headache splitting across his skull, a few drops of the liquid spilling into his mouth, it burned as it hit his tongue, the smell accosting his nose. His vision swam before him, his eyes watering but if it was from the taste, the smell or the pain in his head he didn't know. He settled on trying to focus on something, his eyes settled on the crystal tumbler in the upper part of his vision was now empty. He knew that it had probably been straight vodka, his mind starting to piece things together. He sighed making a slow moving attempt to get to his feet. The area was now swarming with people, he recognized Aunt Peggy and Uncle Daniel who were busy buzzing around the site and the generator. Tony felt the pain rip through his head again cause him to wince and collapse backward, his eyes scrunched closed to stop the world from spinning. As he managed to crack his eyes open again he was looking up at the scowling face of Howard directly above him, “Care to explain?” Howard growled. Tony’s only thought at that moment was ‘No’ not that he could say that,even in his state of pain and with his head hurting he knew better than to say that. The splitting headache that was forming made his eyes and head hurt whenever he tried to focus, everything sounded like it was far away, or like he was under water. His upper back ached.

Tony groaned from his place on the ground. Closing his eyes again, it helped him focus. “Did Henry come back through?” He moaned after a few deep breaths, the nausea hitting him in a hard wave. He took another shaky breath through his nose keeping his mouth firmly closed as he felt like he was spinning even with the solid feeling of earth beneath him.

“What are you on about?”

“Henry, he dove into the void, did he come back like last time?” Tony asked as the nausea passed.

“You mean to say, that a kid dove into the rift?”

“He was sucked in the first time.”

“Damnit Tony!” Howard snarled, cutting him off. “Save it,” he snapped looking up at someone coming toward them from the school, he looked back down at Tony with a glare “Peg and Daniel need to hear this too.”

“Mr. Stark!” The Dean called interrupting the conversation, Howard turned to the stout man. Tony propped himself up on an elbow to look back as well, finding the Dean hobbling across the field looking more disheveled than Tony had ever seen him.

“Don’t say another word.” Howard hissed his tone held a sense of finality, Tony knew he wasn’t to speak again til Howard gave him the ok. He closed his eyes again fighting off another wave of nausea, collapsing back into the ground. “Ahh Dean Fesst, what can I do for you?” Howard asked, turning his attention away from Tony and to the scowling man that was trying to look imposing as he approached. 

“As Dean of this school, I must protest. I have been woken in the dead of night, by your son’s outrageous contraption, he has caused damages to our property as well as the town’s and now I have some agency snooping around my football field in the dead of the night. This has gone too far Mr. Stark.”

Howard waved his hand as if the problem were simple “How about a new football field, library, and science building.” Howard said. “State of the art, donations of course. And we forget this happened and I promise Tony will stay out of trouble for the rest of his time here.” Howard bargained. 

The Dean froze, he didn’t look like he knew how to respond to that. He looked halfway between aww and horror. “A donation?” He squawked in indignation but his face told a different story, he was almost sold.

“Tell you what I’ll throw in new dormitories for the high school level students and an indoor pool.” Howard was upping the ante on the Dean so he wouldn’t meddle.

“Very well, but another toe out of line,”

“And I’ll drive out here and pack Tony up myself.” Howard said with a cordial smile and a nod to Dean Fesst. Tony knew this act well, it was the same one Howard put on in front of reporters. “Now we have an ongoing investigation here and need the area,”

“An investigation? Of what?” The Dean looked worried as he moved to take a step closer.

“Not to worry Kyle. The Supreme Headquarters International Espionage and Law-Enforcement Division have it covered, they are a worldwide organization dealing with intelligence. They have deemed this investigation to be pertinent.”

“The what? I have never heard of such a thing!” The Dean started to puff up again, when another voice cut through.

“That is because we are a covert international agency.” Tony heard his Aunt Peggy’s voice slice through, he’d never heard that tone from her. “Now then Kyle Andrew Fesst we need the area for tests, the faster we can do that the faster we can get out of here, we were hoping to be gone by the morning, preferably before your students start to wake up for breakfast.” Peggy left no room for argument. “You'll barely even know we’re here, by 0600, if we can get the area cleared of all non-essential personnel.” The Dean gaped at her before nodding dumbly, casting a look around at them. His now concerned eyes landed on Tony who’d sat up by that point. Tony was still taking deep slow breaths, later he’d realize he had all the signs of a concussion, currently though all he could think about was how he was not a fan of the foggy feeling he had in his head, nor the splitting headache that accompanied it. “We will get Tony back to his room Dean Fesst.” Peggy said holding her ground in a way that would make just about anyone back down. The Dean just nodded again and trotted away to go back to bed.

Howard and Peggy watched him leave, “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of watching you do that Peg, you saved me from having to buy the whole damned school to keep him out of this.” Howard said with a carefree laugh that sounded reminiscent of better years, an echo of what it had been long ago.

Peggy glared at him “Well if you’d grow a pair then you wouldn’t have to buy their respect, you’d just earn it the old fashioned way.” Leave it to Aunt Peggy to call out Howard for everything he was.

“Aww come on Peg, my way is so much faster,”

“Maybe, but it's also a lot more likely to get us all stabbed in the back, besides from the skid marks in the street we have a few cars and trucks that will be needing to be replaced.” Peggy was in full work mode and as always was taking none of Howard’s shit. Tony had rarely seen Howard respect anyone, but now watching him back down and just accepting it in stride that way he was now with Aunt Peggy was shocking. Tony expected Howard to react with the normal volatility he received but he didn’t he just nodded and said he’d go take a look. His Aunt Peggy was even more amazing then he’d ever realized.

Howard started towards the street Peggy had pointed him to before he stopped “Peg, do you want to ask Tony about what happened now or later?”

“Later. Let’s get him back to bed for now, Mr Jarvis.” Peggy called moving to check on Tony, she was his Godmother after all. She knelt down next to him checking him out, she pressed lightly against his back checking the severity of the bruise that was now forming on his upper back and head. Her hands rubbing his shoulders and neck gently, her touch was soft against him, as if making sure he was ok was her only job, her tough lightened when he tensed or took in a sharp breath from the pain. At that moment Peggy Carter’s only concern was for Tony, she knew the danger of Zero-Matter better than almost anyone and it scared her that Tony had gotten caught up in it. Tony was relieved that she was sending him back to bed, he was still trying to make sense of what all had happened himself, he didn’t even know where to start. His head was too muddled to do anything at the moment. “Mr. Jarvis, take Tony back to his room, get him some Advil and keep a cold pack on his head and behind his neck, keep sounds low and the lights off, but don’t let him sleep for at least 3 hours. If he starts feeling worse; and Tony if you start feeling worse you need to say something, then he has to go to the hospital. If he’s the same though, then you can let him sleep, but still wake him every 2 hours, he hit his head quite hard and we want to make sure he isn’t going to have lasting effects from it. Don’t let him do anything strenuous, no tinkering, or games, you may read him a book or tell him stories, but nothing else, he needs rest.” Peggy said “We will come talk to him later today after he has gotten some sleep and is a little more settled from the events that just happened.”

“Of course, Mrs. Carter-Sousa.” Jarvis said with a nod. He knew she cared about Tony just as much as he did and was fully intendant on making sure Tony was ok first

“Honestly, how many times do I have to tell you, you can call me Peggy.”

“As alway once more,” Mr. Jarvis said with a smile that was borderline mischievous, deep down they both knew he was never not going to call her Mrs. Carter-Sousa, he’d switch it up the prefix with Director or even with Agent as a throw back to her SSR days, but he held her in too high regard to ever disrespect her by calling her by anything less than her full surname, as his upbringing required.

Tony was helped to his feet, he made it halfway back to his dorm with Jarvis when the nausea became overwhelming and he curled over vomiting into the grass. “Oh dear, sir are you ok?”

“I’ll be fine Jarvis” Tony murmured as another dry heave wracked through his body, his eyes shut tight as he tried to gain back some control of his bodily functions.

“Director Carter-Sousa told me to take you to the hospital if you got worse, Sir I think that the hospital might be-”

“No, I’ve been fighting the urge to throw up since I woke up on the field, that wasn’t anything new.” Jarvis still looked worried, Tony sighed from his place hunched over with hands on his own knees. “I’ll tell you if I get worse.” Tony admitted looking up to meet Jarvis’ eyes, he hated seeing Jarvis worry over him, it was like watching a lost mother hen who couldn’t find her chicks.

“If you’re sure,” Jarvis finally nodded approving Tony’s admission. Tony stayed up with Jarvis for the next 3 hours as Peggy had instructed listening to the man speak, and read to him. Jarvis had to shake Tony awake, keeping him from dozing off multiple times, he kept alternating the cold packs on his back and neck; and finally at 5 in the morning he told Tony his 3 hours of observation were finished and he could sleep. Tony nodded, quickly falling asleep, for 2 hours, after which he was woken, he took more Advil and chatted with Jarvis for a few minutes before he was deemed able to sleep again. Jarvis woke him and let him sleep 3 more times, waking Tony up for the final time that day around 11:30 in the morning. Tony was still exhausted, but Jarvis was afraid that if he allowed Tony to sleep any longer it would mess with the boy’s normal sleep cycle. That and he wasn’t sure he could placate Mr. Stark for much longer, not when Tony’s account of the night’s events were the only thing left for them to take care of, at least until they knew more about what exactly had taken place out on the field.

Jarvis woke Tony up handing the boy a glass of water, “Good Morning Tony. How are you feeling?”

Tony sat up “Better than last night, but I’m not at a hundred percent by any means it still feels like I'm trying to think through a fog.” Tony got up slowly, moving to start his morning routine, a plate of food sat on his desk, Jarvis must have gotten it for him while he was asleep.

“As to be expected, Sir. Your adventures last night seem to have taken a toll. Director Carter-Sousa brought you some food from the cafeteria a few minutes ago. She said it would give you time to settle before they had to ask you about your experiment last night.” Jarvis explained as he set out clothes on Tony’s bed for him to change into.

Tony nodded, slowing his movements, he needed as much time as he could get, he didn’t even know what had happened, he hadn’t been the person to mess up, he had saved them from their own stupidity. Hopefully that would hold some validity in their eyes. But that brought up the question he’d been wondering about since Howard had woken him the first time; what had happened to the other boys, and what had happened to Henry. Tony had so many questions pinballing around in his head, he nearly winced as his brain tried to work at the same processing speed that he used to have, it was like trying to work with a heavy wet blanket thrown over himself, he was slower. Even in the slower state one question kept ringing in over and over; one he needed answered first. “Who’s going to be asking the questions?”

Jarvis sighed and nodded, he knew Tony needed to know that information, to prepare himself for what to expect. “Your Father, Director Carter-Sousa and Assistant Director Sousa.” They were taking this incredibly seriously, he didn’t know exactly what his Aunt and Uncle did for work, but he knew that from time to time they both scared the crap out of his father and that scared him. Howard didn’t just respect them, he followed them and their ideas and advice. That wasn’t something Tony had ever seen before, even Uncle Obie, much to his dismay, didn’t have the same amount of control over Howard as Peggy Carter-Sousa did. Tony moved to the bedside and started to get dressed. Jarvis handed him more Advil when he finished, draping the cold pack around his neck and shoulders again while he sat down to eat. Jarvis left for a few moments while he ate his breakfast. The eggs, bacon and pancakes were still warm, Aunt Peggy must have just dropped them off before he woke up. “They are waiting for you in your workshop when you finish your food.” Jarvis said reentering through the side door that connected to the workshop.

“Thank you Jarvis.” Tony said, fighting off a yawn, he finished his breakfast and took a few deep breaths before opening the door to his workshop. He was just going to tell them the truth, it was the easiest course of action. Howard was fiddling and shifting through his desk with his robot on it, luckily all his coding for the robot was on the small computer he built for inside his room. He didn’t want Howard finding that, but he did notice his lab looked emptier than before. The Zero-Matter equipment was all gone, he’d expected that though. What he hadn’t expected was for the prototype on his miniaturized computer to be gone, it wasn’t as advanced as the one he’d built for his room but it was still a handy piece of work. He scanned the room finding the prototype of a cordless long range phone to have been moved out of his workspace as well, typical of Howard, he’d almost had the phone done too. Aunt Peggy and Uncle Daniel were sitting on the couch in the corner going through paperwork from the looks of it, and it was quite the stack in front of them. He snuck into the room, he’d never felt so out of place in his own workspace. It was like he was intruding, even though this was his room.

“Ahh Tony, you’re up, how are you feeling?” Peggy asked, waving him over to her. He moved slowly, hesitant for what was coming as he walked over. He had felt a little better before he walked into the room but the nerves came back full force and were eating him up from the inside again.

“Better,” he managed a nod to go with his quiet response as he sat down on the floor in front of the coffee table. 

“Did you get some sleep and food?” Uncle Daniel asked, setting the papers down as he looked up to Tony with a kind smile, maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

“I did, thank you” Tony answered with a nod, he was trying to be as polite as he could, hoping it would lessen the blow when he inevitably went back home, despite Uncle Daniel and Aunt Peggy being nice, Tony could feel Howard’s cold glare leveled at the back of his head.

Aunt Peggy smiled back at him “That’s good, are you ready to talk for a bit? We’re just trying to figure out what happened last night.” Tony nodded again keeping his eyes cast down. “Ok Tony, we really just need you to recount what happened from the beginning of the incident.”

Tony took a shaky breath, the beginning of the incident, so when he’d woken up or when he’d finished the last part of the generator. He decided to go with the generator. “I finished up with the rift generator around 9 pm last night, I found the specs and calculations for it in the file.” He pointed to the desk Howard was still shuffling papers around. With a nod to Peggy, Howard started looking for the packet Tony was talking about. “I loaded it onto the trolley’s that were by the door. I had the containment field equipment already done; I did those first just in case I’d need them.” He wanted them to know he’d tried to be safe. He had, if not for Ty it would have been fine! “I put the Gamma blaster and its belt with the 6 charges with the containment field stuff, and then I went to bed, I was planning on going out to the field today to run tests since everyone would be studying and not out on the field.” Tony admitted.

“So you were planning to use the generator.”

“Yes but I had planned to use it with the containment units so it could be controlled, and managed by the energy level of the wavelength the units admitted.” Peggy looked up to Howard who must have had some sort of reaction confirming the science since she turned back to Tony waiting for him to continue. “I was woken up in the night though by a bright flash and a loud cracking sound from the field.” Tony took a steadying breath “I looked out the window and saw the rift opening, I ran in here, I was almost certain it was mine. I had to make sure they had the containment generators too. But they didn’t. The containment field would have taken too long to set up so I just grabbed the blaster and the rope I’d pre-measured out and knotted for the experiment, and I ran out to the field. I knew I had to shut it down, without the containment field the rift wasn’t going to be stable.” Tony was speaking in a flat-tone he was just trying to get them the information without too much emotion, emotions and feelings weren’t relevant to the facts. “I tied the rope to the lamp post and then ran into the field, the other 5 boys secured themselves with the loops I put in the rope. The rift started to become unstable at that time though and it ended up pulling one of the boy’s in. From what I read in the packet Dr. Wilkes came back through, when the rift was closed with the gamma cannon, so I tried that with the blaster. Henry came back when I did that. But like Dr. Wilkes in the report, Zero-Matter had bonded with Henry. The other 4 boys ran away.”

“Who were the other boys?” Peggy asked.

“I only knew one of them, Ty, he’s a senior he hangs out down here with me sometimes, he lives one floor up.”

“Ok, if you remember who the others are we would love to talk to them too.”

“I only know Ty, I, I don’t really talk to anyone else here.” Tony admitted, Ty really was his only friend, and a friend who had taken his project and opened a trans-dimensional rift in the back field of the school and then had run off on Tony instead of helping him fix it.

“That’s ok, for now continue with your story,” Peggy nodded gently. 

Tony nodded, swallowing thickly. “I read in the file that, reopening the rift and hitting Henry with the Gamma blaster would knock the Zero-Matter out of him. So I recreated it, I reopened the rift, hit him with the blaster, the Zero-Matter left him, and went back into the rift. But then before I could close it Henry ran back into the area where he would be sucked back in if I tried to close it. I ran forward to stop him, but before I could he dove into the rift. Which destabilized it faster. And the rope was too short to reach him in time. But then I was also in the zone that was affected by the gravity field the rift was throwing off. I decided to try and close the rift again, to see if that would work a second time. It took about a minute to get the gamma blaster loaded and charged again, with my feet off the ground it was hard to load. That’s when the fence, bleachers and the cars from the street were pulled into the rift. I was hoping they would all come back just like last time. It was the only way I could think of to get Henry back, close the rift again. I closed it then I fell to the ground and when I woke up you all were there too.”

“Tony, are you saying a kid went into the rift?” Uncle Daniel asked, he looked unsettled as he asked the question. 

Tony nodded “Did he come back?” Tony looked up hopefully at his question.

Daniel looked at Peggy, Tony may have messed up but he tried to do the right thing the whole time even if he was misguided in his quest to research Zero-Matter. Daniel sighed “No Tony he didn’t come back the second time. Nothing came back through.”

Tony’s eyes widened “Nothing?”

Peggy shook her head acknowledging him, “Tony, dear, from the sound of it you tried to get him back, but the Zero-Matter dimension doesn’t play by the same rules are ours, you did everything you could have given the situation.” She said trying to be encouraging. Tony wasn’t though, he’d failed to save the older boy. “Let’s change the subject,” Peggy said, breaking his thoughts away, causing him to refocus on her “Tony, how did you get the file with all of this?”

Howard piped up just then, waving the located file “And where is the packet of Frost’s notes in this?” He demanded coming to stand next to the table handing the file to Peggy.

“Frost’s notes are gone?” 

“The hard copies are, the photos are still in here though.” Howard acknowledged turning to glare at Tony. “Where are the rest?”

Tony didn’t know, he thought back, Ty had seen the file first, asked about it first, had known about the generator and how it worked. The realization that he’d been played by the older boy washed over him in a horrific wave. “Ty, he saw the file, he must have taken the notes.” Tony whispered the betrayal from his friend making it sting even worse.

Peggy cut him off, “It’s ok Tony those notes had a mistake written into them after the pictures were taken,” her voice soothing as she smiled over at Daniel.

“Well I did write it in to slow someone down,” Daniel said with a shrug. 

“Ok back to the file Tony, where did you get it?” Peggy asked.

“It was about 2 months ago when I was getting the blood samples from you and Uncle Daniel and Mr and Mrs Jarvis. When I got back here the file was in my stack of research. I put it on my desk to take it back to you, but then Ty came in, he found it and was looking through it and asked about it, I think he thought I meant to take it. He mentioned that it had the potential to advance technology, so I took a look after he left. He was right about that part it has so many potential uses and so many things it can do, I just wanted to study it and see if it was possible to utilize it in a way to help the world advance and to-” Tony was rambling by the end trailing off since he didn’t know what else to say, the brain fog wasn’t helping either.

Peggy looked pointedly at Howard, Mr. Jarvis and Daniel “Tony what room is Ty in?”

“215, it's right above us.”

“Can you three go get that packet from Ty and ask him his side of things last night.” Peggy asked “I’m gonna talk to Tony, for a bit longer.” She said.

Daniel nodded kissing her temple as he stood up and clicked away, “Of course. We’ll be back down soon.” He said before leading the way out of Tony’s workshop.

Peggy waited til they were gone and upstairs before she turned to Tony. “Tony what were you thinking, you know you aren’t supposed to take things out of my work.” Her voice was stern and harder than any she had ever used with him before.

“I didn’t mean to, I swear Aunt Peggy. It was in the stack of research I had for my soulmate tests.”

“Then why didn’t you return it?”

“I was going to, then Ty said it could have some applications toward clean and sustainable energy, and that could have helped people everywhere, so I took a look, he was right based on the bits I saw, it could have been used to help people.” Tony said.

“Tony, I get that you wanted to help, but the way you did it isn’t how things work. You should have asked. I would have told you no though, because Zero-Matter is incredibly dangerous Tony, you got lucky today, you could have gotten a lot more people killed, including yourself.” Tony gulped, killed a lot more, was Henry dead then? He nodded keeping his head ducked down. Just another name to add to the ever growing list of people he was responsible for hurting or getting killed. “I’m really disappointed in you Tony, you stole from my work, and you have had ample time to come clean with what you have been doing here and you chose not to.” Tony could only nod, he felt his heart sink as shame washed over him. “You could have hurt yourself or anyone else in this building.” Peggy finished coming to sit next to him, “I expected better from you.” She said wrapping a warm arm around him, he didn’t lean into it like he normally did. He was lost in his mind. How had he been so blinded by the project to not see the risks, he’d put everyone in danger, the whole campus at risk, the whole town at risk. All he wanted now was for two people who had long been dead to be there and to wrap their arms around him and tell him it was ok. He hadn’t meant to. He really hadn’t meant to. That thought paired with Aunt Peggy’s disappointment cut deepest though, he hadn’t meant to cause harm, he’d been trying to help and all he had managed to do was hurt people, get someone killed and disappoint his Aunt, one of his soulmates best friends. He’d disappointed her, he would have disappointed them. He was a disappointment; it's all he’d ever end up being in the end. Peggy and him sat on the floor til the others came back.

Howard had the packet of notes in his hand, but he threw a torn piece of paper with the Stark logo on the top down in front of Tony. “You never said that Ty was short for Tiberius, as in Tyson Stone’s kid!” Howard was seething. Tony froze, he’d forgotten about the rivalry between Viastone and Stark Industries. “Do you realize how big of a mistake could have happened if they had this. If they only had this side of the information, just the generator specs with none of the containment fields, they could have leveled Manhattan!”

“I didn’t realize he had it, I’m sorry.” Tony gasped out, he knew Howard was being serious he really could have been the reason the downtown of New York was destroyed. The hits were piling up.

“No shit Tony! God Do you ever think first! Look at what’s on that piece of paper” he asked, hauling Tony up from the floor by his upper arm the second Tony had the scrap of paper in his hand. “What does it say!”

Tony looked it over and he recognized the equation. “Ty couldn’t figure out the equation, he helped me with a project so I solved it for him, he just had the wrong number. It was supposed to be 6 not 8.” He didn’t understand but he had a feeling he was about to, and he wasn’t going to like it.

“You solved the equation Sousa changed in the notes to slow down someone else from being able to use them. You’re lucky we got these before Ty brought them back to Viastone.” Howard snarled, he looked down at Peggy “Do you need Tony for anything else Peg?”

“No Howard we have everything, I have to get going to figure out how that file got out of the vault and onto my desk where Tony could take it.” she said, Tony’s heart sunk even lower, did she not believe that he hadn’t meant to take it. She walked out of the room with Uncle Daniel not realizing the danger she was leaving him in.

“Jarvis, go help Peg pack up everything. Close the door behind you.” 

“Of course Sir” Jarvis responded with a curt nod leaving Tony alone with Howard, Worry etched into Jarvis’ face as he left the room, pulling the door closed behind him.

As soon as the door clicked shut Howard threw Tony into the desk “Now then you listen to me, this is how the next few days are going to go. You are going to lay low and study for your finals. When you finish your studies on Wednesday Jarvis is going to come get you, and you are going to spent a month at home while this dorm and all the others are rebuilt because of your fuck up last night. You are not to get into anything else this week or for the next month.”

Tony nodded frantically “Yes Sir,” he took in a shaking breath. He really hadn’t meant to hurt anyone, he hadn’t meant to cause damages, he hadn’t meant to do any of the things that had happened the night before; he’d only been trying to help. That’s all he ever did, try to help, and he got people killed instead.

Tony felt himself hauled by the front of his shirt and thrown toward his robot model, his hand hitting the on switch, his leg colliding with a sharp edge digging a deep gash into his right calf muscle. He bit back the cry of pain as blood flooded to the surface. “And honestly Tony, that robot had better be nothing more than a Dummy. I expect better than that from you.” Tony stared in horror as after the word Dummy the bot beeped twice. “I’ll see you on Wednesday Tony.” Howard sneered, slamming the door behind him leaving the 12 year old boy bleeding on the floor with a newly named robot. Tony stared between his leg and the robot, having no idea which to take care of first, he had no way of knowing that thousands of miles away Red Primrose were blooming on the skin of another.

Tony decided on the robot first, he’d been waiting to turn it on so he could give it a proper name. After a year and a half of work he was horrified that the first word it heard was Dummy as it booted on. He’d programmed it to take the first word it heard as its name. Tony hesitantly spoke to the robot. “Hi,”

The screen flickered back “Hello” typed on it.

“What’s your name?” he asked, a cold numb feeling settling into his chest.

The screen flickered again. “Dum-E”

Tony let his eyes close as he flipped the robot off. He sank to the floor “No. No, no; no.” He whispered as he collapsed fighting off the tears, his day really couldn’t get any worse. He felt numb as he moved through the motions of the rest of the day. He spent it studying in his room not wanting to be in his workshop so soon after so many bad memories were made in it.

That night was when the cold feeling of being a disappointment to his Aunt hit him the hardest. He loved the Captain and Sergeant, he couldn’t not love them, which only made it hurt more that they were no longer alive. They weren’t there to protect him or take care of him the way everyone else with a soulmate would be taken care of. They weren’t there to tell him it would be ok. He was alone. On those cold nights after Howard got too drunk, he would have given anything to feel the warm strong arms of Steve Rogers and James Barnes around him. But this time he felt that need more than ever, being a disappointment was even worse. He longed for some kind of warmth, his imagination running away with his mind as he thought of how nice the stroke of firm hands through his hair would be. What it would be like to have them comforting him after a nightmare, holding him close and shielding him from the horrors of his own house. It was only in the darkest hours of night that Tony let himself morn for the soulmates he would never have. Maybe if they were still alive Howard could have loved him, instead of comparing him to everything he’d lost, he could never be as good as Steve and Howard made sure he knew it. He knew it too now, Peggy had all but said that today too, his work had nearly taken out a nearby town, all because of a mistake. Ty hadn’t had all the information and it had nearly resulted in complete disaster, and it was still on Tony the file had been in his possession when Ty took it. If there was anything Tony had learned that day it was that he needed to start locking his lab down with a code. He wasn’t going to trust anyone with his work again.

————————————

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys caught some of the soulmark nuisances in this one. They come up later for sure. Only a few more chapters til Howard is gone though!!! I’m not gonna change how he dies, its too much poetic justice to leave out, for both Tony and for the future of the story with Bucky and Steve. Especially for Bucky since he was still wasn’t in control but was still able to protect him, even if it wasn’t on purpose.  
>   
> Few things to know for the chapter  
>   
> Kicsi - Hungarian for Little one  
>   
> Floriography for the chapter  
>   
> Christmas Rose - Anxiety  
> Rue - Regret  
> Cypress - Mourning  
> Dragon Plant - Dread  
> Petunia - Anger  
> Red Primrose - Unappreciated Merit


	4. Chapter 4: Cyclamen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I normally don’t do pre chapter notes but with this one I felt like I had to give you all a heads up that this chapter does get into some darker things, Rape is mentioned and lightly described, I have updated the warnings, the more graphic parts are marked clearly between Xs second set of Xs is just a flashback of sorts and it isn’t as graphic as the first one but I still marked it so proceed with caution.
> 
> Also I feel like I need to apologize for the delay in this chapter I am so sorry this took so long, I’ve gotten back to work recently and now I’m working 5-7 days a week now. Actually starting today my next day off is over two weeks away. So updates may be slower, but I promise I’m still writing. (It would also go faster if I didn’t write such long chapters, hopefully I’ll figure out how to bite off more manageable chapters at some point but that hasn’t happened yet.
> 
> To finish my anomaly of a pre chapter note I do want to take a second to thank you guys so much for reading!!! I love seeing the Kudos and Bookmark numbers tick upwards. =) I also absolutely Love hearing from all of you! And responding to you too! I love being able to share this story with you all and I love hearing your thoughts and comments, I’ve even had a few comments be inspiration for Scenes in future scenes. I love that my writing has affected you enough for you to write to me with all of your thoughts and ideas and feelings, I love seeing it! 
> 
> Ok Enjoy the chapter! and please read with caution if you need to.

Chapter 4

Tony laid low for the next few years while he was at boarding school. He worked on the processing system for Dum-E, updating the code for the robot then testing the modifications, it was a slow process with a fairly large amount of trial and error, since he was into new territory with a learning base model AI robot. It was an ambitious task that was slow moving. As Tony learned and modified the code, it felt like this progress was starting to have more backwards steps than forward ones, at least it felt like that for the time being. At one point his new code had him diving across the lab trying to flip the off switch. Dum-E whirled and spun around in the center of the lab, the simple command of pass the screwdriver sending the robot wheeling and spinning in a circle out of control. Tony dove forward, Dum-E whirled smacking into him forcefully sending him skidding. Tony lunged again, managing to miss the first spin but on the quick redirection back, Dum-E’s grapple hand sliced deep into his upper arm. Hollyhocks. 

He hissed clutching his arm in surprise, the arm continued to whiz around slamming into him again, he was sent careening into the Satellite he’d just finished, smashing it into the floor below him the sharp bits cutting into the backs of his legs. Hollyhocks.

Tony gritted his teeth, blood now staining his shirt and his pants, another pair ruined, he really needed to start buying cheaper more comfortable clothes for his workshop, especially if he kept ruining the designer ones his Mom would send when he’d tell Jarvis he needed a new pair. He knew the clothes were expensive based on the reactions of those around him, but he’d never known anything different. Whenever he had asked in the past she had always fed him some line about how what he wore needed to be up to a certain standard because he was a Stark and a certain level of dress was expected of him. He understood that to an extent, especially now with the media starting to realize who he was and take note, he had to have his best foot forward for the sake of the family and the company. Though he didn’t have to like that his life was being analyzed under a microscope.

Tony took a calming breath, he needed to dress his wounds and probably sooner than later so he needed to be smarter about his approach, he watched the whirling robot, analyzing the movement of the fritzing machine. He counted as it spun, one way then the other, after a minute he realized it wasn’t as random as he originally thought, Dum-E’s movements were repeating. It was much like analyzing his dance teacher’s movements, his mother had forced him to take lessons for the last two years so he could be “a functioning young man” as she put it part of her goal to make him into a good image for the media, now that they knew who he was and followed him around.

He watched and waited then as soon as the bot froze and redirected he leapt forward, just missing the arm as it passed in front of him, his hand hitting the switch shutting Dum-E down before the arm could switch back and pummel into him again. Tony hobbled across the room to get the well used first aid kit, he was used to having to bandage himself up by now. He looked at the deep gashes, the cut on his right arm would definitely leave a permanent scar. The ones on his legs would leave speckled scars across his left calf and the back of his thighs. Blue hollyhocks were blooming on skin under a sheet of ice thousands of miles away. 

Tony applied pressure to his arm by wrapping an ACE Bandage tightly around his upper arm, a clean black towel pressed against the wound to keep it from bleeding everywhere. Then he turned his attention to the smaller cuts on his legs, he used the mirror to get the butterfly strips on all of the cuts. Jarvis had taught him how to deal with his workshop related injuries over the winter break when he noticed they were becoming more and more frequent. He then turned to his bigger cut, peeling off his shirt, he grimaced seeing the scars that were littered across his torso and back, he needed to find a way of hiding them. It had been grating on his nerves over the last year, since his Mother had started to drag him out into the media spotlight more. He was a Stark, he was expected to be at banquets, functions and fundraisers. He was expected to know how to act and react in public and around people, be cordial but don’t let them take advantage. People were hard for him, and being outgoing with strangers wasn’t something that was easy for him as a shy anxious child who had grown up around machines, it was something he was learning to mask.

Starks were made of Iron.

He would not show weakness.

He would not bend.

He would not break.

He would not fail.

Starks were made of Iron.

He’d been forced to learn how to Ballroom dance for those occasions and play piano and classical guitar. It was all a part of his Mother’s campaign to teach him how to be a proper young man, with the comment that any productive member of society had to have talents outside of their job. His Mother was a socialite Queen, and she had a plan to make Tony into an icon outside of Stark Industries. She had him playing music at dinner parties at the house had started being a requirement in the last 6 months with all the Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years parties. He was expected to dance and to make small talk, he was never to let too much slip though, he wasn’t to be vulnerable, that put the company at risk. He was only to smile and wave at the media, say no comment, the media would take anything they could and spin it, so he wasn’t to give them anything, ever. He was also no longer allowed to stay home for the company functions, now he was expected to participate, dancing and networking with company executives. 

Tony’s life had slowly been thrust into the spotlight after his 13th birthday and now as he was nearing his 14th the mounting stress of covering up and hiding the scars had so far proven to be difficult, he’d managed but it was getting harder. He could only imagine what the media would say if they found out he had more than the ones on his hands. The media had had a field day with those alone, he’d had to explain that it was a workshop injury from years ago, when he was young, when he hadn’t understood workshop safety yet, when Howard had been away, when he’d hurt himself. He had lied to the media that day, because he couldn’t tell them that the scars on his palms had come from a burning hot saw Howard had dragged across his palms when he was 4.

The stress from that debacle had caused Tony’s anxiety about the others to spike. Especially when they were still growing in numbers, white and red lines criss crossing across his body darker splotches of skin riddling his left arm from soldering iron burns, luckily he’d found that with the less severe injuries the scars faded with time, even though it was slow. Most of the scars came from the dangerous work of being in a lab where his projects had a tendency to explode. But others came from Howard, though not as many as he would have thought he’d have at this point, boarding school provided a saving grace from Howard’s drunken rages. Howard had seemed to just forget he existed 90% of the time when he was at home, unless it was during the week of a birthday or death day of Steve or Bucky. Or when Tony happened to be in the same room as him, but he’d gotten pretty good at staying out of Howard’s way. Self preservation was a strong sense for him, he wanted to always do better so he’d always have to survive.

After he finished bandaging up his arm he looked at the Satellite he’d landed on and frowned, he walked over and examined it. It didn’t look too injured on the outside but he’d probably have to strip the outer layer and make sure everything on the inside had survived the crash to the floor. He got to work standing it back up and pulling off the panels, grabbing the screwdriver himself, no need to cause the bot to go on the fritz again. His mind started to turn on his coding project and what had caused Dum-E to go haywire as he pulled and pried the panels off.

He also was entertaining the dilemma of his scars and running through concepts of how to hide the scars he had, especially the more visible ones on his arms and shoulders. He’d been mostly able to hide the ones he had by sticking tan moleskin over the patches of skin, the ones on lower arms that were harder to hide. He wouldn’t mind being able to cover the ones on his back and torso more often, to feel the reprieve of not seeing the soulmark stamped in the middle of scar tissue, the reminder of what he would never have each time he changed. It didn’t have to be expensive, at least not yet, it just had to work, his mother and Ana wore foundation as part of their makeup routine. Which wasn’t the worst idea, he toyed with the idea as he worked, he would need something a little more waterproof, moldable, and thicker to fully cover and smooth out the skin. He’d play with substances later, he had a wider variety of chemicals to use, since his objective was to create almost a second skin like patch instead of a light makeup. He then remembered the amount of work that went into make up and realized he wanted something that he wouldn’t have to apply everyday, he wondered if he could create a skin like patch. A second skin that he could apply like a bandaid that would stay, that would be less irritating than a sticky putty that would probably only get everywhere. The moleskin he’d used in the past, but easier to put on and more full coverage without its sticking ability being compromised by sweat or long term wear. 

He got the satellite up and functional again, he was glad he’d taken a look at all the parts again, the camera inside had shifted in the fall, had he not gone in and changed its alignment all he would have seen in the pictures would have been the inside of the satellite. Not the global images he was aiming to take, he was excited to try out the zoom features that he’d updated and magnified. He wanted to see if he could get the satellite to take video and transmit it immediately to the computer he had set up in the back room. He had managed to save it from his father’s sweeps through his workshop the last few years, he’d been building it up the last few years, it was faster and more advanced than anything the rest of the world would see for another 10 years, a fact he was very proud of.

Tony got to work on his side project to cover up his scars, after he sent his satellite into orbit. He found a stretchy shirt like material, he was able to interweave it with a flexible screen like substance that made it so he was able to project his skin underneath, or what could have been his skin underneath. He found that it was easier to just project a pre-uploaded image than to try and shop out all the scars he had underneath. He was thrilled to find a solution that was form fitting, moved with him and looked like skin even if the image it projected wasn’t his own. He couldn’t help but smile as he finally felt comfortable to walk around with a tank top or even without a normal shirt, he finally felt calm when he looked in the mirror and saw unblemished skin in the mirror. It would be functional til he could get something else more permanent or integrate it with new tech as the world developed, it was a good baseline to start with. He had a feeling that if the future was going where he hoped it was with cloaking and nanotechnology his current solution would at least be a solid basepoint to jump off from. He looked at the spot on his right side on his ribs, no soulmark showed on the new material he’d made, he felt a twinge of sadness at not seeing the shield but he also felt himself sigh in relief, he finally didn’t have to be reminded of what he could never have. Tony didn’t take it off for a whole week, the first 2 days were on purpose, the next 5 weren’t.

The next day he got the notification that the satellite was situated in the atmosphere where it had been programmed to go, he started receiving his first transmissions, he ran a few quick tests to make sure it was working properly. Then he sent the satellite the coding and instructions for the next week. He turned back to his soulmate research after he hit send, doubling down on it, he went over everything to see what the next steps would be, all the blood tests he had run, the CT scans, EEGs, PET scans, ultrasounds, he’d even had an MRI or two taken. Any test he could think up or scan he could do he had tested. By this point he had a good working knowledge that it was the brain that told the body what flowers to create, while a small gland below the surface of the soulmark was responsible for the chemicals that signaled the skin to form the flowers. This discovery also explained the one sided connection that soulmates would have if they had a soulmark on a limb that was amputated, the gland that signaled the flowers to form would no longer be there so while the brain would be able to signal the chemicals wouldn’t be there to activate the reaction. This got Tony thinking since the neurological link should still be intact so if it was possible to reinstall the gland then they should be able to recreate the ability of the amputee to get flowers. This was a note and a project proposal he then created and shared with the people at the Veterans Affairs and their research hospital. He hoped that it could possibly lead to amputees getting some form of the connection back. To his dismay though they quickly sent his research back with a kind note explaining that they didn’t have the resources to fund the project themselves. Tony was about to delve into it again when he got a phone call.

It was a phone call he hadn’t been ready for and he definitely didn’t have the amount of emotional bandwidth available necessary to deal with the call. Ana Jarvis had died, she had been admitted to the hospital earlier that week and had died in her sleep last night. Cancer. Jarvis had told him. Tony didn’t realize he’d hit the floor of his lab til hours later, he felt numb, he felt hollow. She hadn’t told anyone except Mr. Jarvis. She had sworn him to secrecy as well which tore at Tony even more. Ana had gone in for a few routine blood tests late last year, they had found the stage 4 cancer much too late. Ana had been given 6 months to live and now almost exactly 6 months later Tony found himself curled in a ball on the floor of his lab the pain radiating out from his chest as he took shaking breaths, the pain zapping and tingling down his arms. He gripped his knees to his chest trying to protect that hole, there had to be a hole in his chest, why else would it feel like this. He didn’t even register when the skin on his right shoulder tingled with a gentle warmth, Bellwort blooming on his skin.

His mind was stuck on a loop, a dangerous one that was sounding more and more accusatory; Ana had gone in for blood tests, he’d been in possession of her blood and had been running tests on it for the last 2 years. He hadn’t seen it, he hadn’t looked to see if her or any of the others were even healthy, he hadn’t even thought to check, no he was selfish, he had been too blinded by his own research and project to help her. He could have saved her! But he didn’t look, he hadn’t checked.

He moved slowly and robotically from the ground and grabbed all the other vials of blood for Mr Jarvis, Uncle Daniel and Aunt Peggy, he set a few aside, he was going to send them to a lab for testing and DNA Analysis, he wanted a full work up on the samples. He wasn’t going to let anything else happen to the people he loved, not if he could help it. He set out the other vials on the workbench he had tests he could run himself, he needed to do something to satisfy his downward spiraling brain. As soon as the vials were separated into the ones he was going to test and the ones he was sending for more in depth lab tests he threw all of his soulmate research into a box and shoved it into the corner. If he hadn’t been so distracted with the childishness of trying to learn about soulmarks then he could have been doing something useful like trying to save Ana. No, Tony hadn’t seen it though, he hadn’t been looking for it, he could have caught the cancer earlier if he’d just run a few simple tests, tests he was now attempting to run with his other blood samples. He couldn’t sit idly by right now; not when he could possibly help. The need to make sure drove his actions at the workbench, even through the lost feeling in his body and mind he set about testing the samples he hadn’t set aside to ship off. He could have been helping before, but he was too focused on his own research into soulmates and their marks to look at anything else. He wasn’t going to make that mistake again.

He wasn’t going to let down the people he cared about, not if he could help it.

He labeled the box full of his unfinished soulmark research and left it to the side, a box that would now sit and collect dust in the basement of the house for the next 30 years he labeled the box with the dates he’d been conducting his research for October 23rd 1979 - April 30th 1984. 

As the tests he could run finished on the other blood samples he saw no negative results. That eased his mind a little, allowing him to start to turn off, at least he hadn’t missed anything else. His hand absentmindedly went to a rub on the Bellwort blooms on his arm that were under two layers of clothes. He stumbled back into his bedroom collapsing into it still feeling numb and empty ignoring the stack of large white envelopes that had come in the mail for him earlier that day. He didn’t need to look at them, he knew he’d been accepted to all of the colleges he’d applied to. CIT, MIT, Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Carnegie Mellon, Harvey-Mudd, Cornell, Columbia and Stanford 10 of 10, now he just needed to decide where he wanted to go, and what school would allow him to do the degree he wanted with the freedom he wanted. For now though he just let the pain of losing Ana wash over him. Yanking his covers up and over his head, burying his head into his pillow under them, holding onto his other pillow as he finally let the tears drip from the corners of his eyes now that he was hidden away where no one could see him.

———————————

Miles away in Columbia Bucky Barnes sat on the side of a medical bed getting patched up, with no memory of who he was, he was just an Asset to be used, a weapon to be unleashed when needed. That day was standard for him, he had been defrosted, shoved into the chair, wiped and told he had a mission. One he had completed a few hours ago, the Colombian Minister of Justice had been his target, he’d completed the mission making it look like a cartel hit. Now he sat staring straight ahead knowing he would either be kept off ice for a few more hours to heal from the single cut he’d sustained during the mission, or they would put him back under. The cut in his right shoulder was the only injury he’d obtained from the mission. The few bruises he’d sustained from the act of crashing and leaping off the motorcycle to create a blockade had already healed, the cocktail of drugs they had plunged into his system when he was taken out of cryo speeding up his recovery system. The cut was already healing, the stitches helping it along. They told him he was lucky, two of the agents he’d gone out on the mission with had been killed, and three more were injured, for him the bullet had barely grazed him. As he sat there he found himself not caring that the other agents had died, that wasn’t part of his mission, he’d completed that. Now he was just awaiting orders, be them to go back into cryo or to go help with training for another program that Hydra had instituted. He waited for orders for the next mission but they never came, so he just sat on the bed as his arm stitched itself back together leaving no trace that he had ever been shot. He felt empty, hopeless, as he sat on the medical table, something was missing, something important, he just didn’t know what, it was like a muffled voice was crying out but it wasn’t loud enough for him to give it any thought. He didn’t know of the chaos he’d created outside the underground compound’s walls. He had no way of knowing he’d just destabilized Columbia sending its Cartel’s to war against the government. He was just a weapon used to create turmoil throughout the world. He was put on ice again by noon that next day, the gash in his arm already healed and faded. They’d retrieve him again when they needed him for another covert off books mission again.

——————————— August 1984

Tony sat on his bed packing up for his move to the dorms on the MIT campus. Howard had gone to MIT so as soon as he’d been accepted it had almost been expected that he would follow in Howard’s footsteps at his alma mater. Books were shoved into boxes, Jarvis had packed up most of Tony’s things already, Tony was only left in charge of packing his books and other miscellaneous things that Jarvis wouldn’t have known to pack. Most of these things were simple, like the clothes Tony preferred to wear only in the shop. Others were not as simple, like the box he had discreetly packed his scar hiding shirt into and his computer which was now in the corner marked Bathroom 2. He had a fair number of those stacking up too, other boxes he’d labeled as standard packing to detour Howard from looking inside of them, he didn’t need his computer going missing or any of his other projects that he had worked so hard on, that were now in the boxes innocently labeled Clothes, Bedding or Books.

When all of his boxes were packed and neatly stacked in the garage with Jarvis’ help Tony stepped back to take a look, it wasn’t as much as he wished he could take, but MIT wasn’t giving him a free lab space or the same freedom he had gotten before at his boarding school. He was going to be stuck in the same classes as the other freshman, he would have to wait until the winter term to even have the possibility of taking the tests for more advanced placement. The school wanted to make sure the freshmen had a smooth adjustment into college and that the teachers thought that they could handle the advanced classes before they got the go ahead. 

He honestly wasn’t even sure what math or science level he was at, he hadn’t been in a formal classroom since he was ten, but he knew the math and physics to get a satellite into space, and the computer coding to write an AI program. He also knew a bit about chemistry and biology, just enough to be able to run a few blood tests though, he’d never gone deeper than what was needed for his selfish little soul mark endeavor. 

Tony would be lying if he said the teacher approval part didn’t make him nervous. He’d never gotten along with his teachers. They liked the kids that asked questions and were there to learn, he was the student that never had any questions, he’d been the one who knew all the answers, and never raised his hand and when he did it was to contradict them. He was the quiet one that they singled out because they always got it in their mind that he was trying to be better than them and show them up. He wasn't, he was just smart. He loathed the idea that he’d be facing it in college, and would have to deal with the ostracization again from both the professors and the other students. It was going to be made even more obvious now than ever before, he was going into college at 14, he was 4 to 5 years younger than all the other incoming freshmen. He really didn’t want to use the Stark name to get him what he wanted or to open doors for him at MIT, but he also knew he may not have a choice. One thing he had always been able to count on Howard for was to defend the Stark name, even if Tony was attached to the end of that. He was a Stark and he would get exactly what he wanted.

Tony sighed, leaving the garage with Jarvis’ light prompting, he moved back to his room to get ready for the party. They we’re celebrating Howard’s Birthday, it was a week and a half after the actual date, the party had been postponed since Howard had come back from his yearly Arctic expedition later than he normally did and as empty handed as ever, and in a terrible mood. Tony never knew how to feel about Howard’s Arctic expeditions anymore. Part of Tony always hoped Howard would find Steve, just so they could finally lay him to rest properly, and give the heroic man a true funeral. Another part of him, the irrational part, hoped Steve would somehow still be alive, and that thread of hope is what hurt the most each time Howard came home empty handed again. Hope was the most painful thing. The hope that Steve would be found and rescued was crushing; hope hurt more than anything. Howard had always said they didn’t truly know the limits of the serum, they had never gotten to test it. On drunken nights in the workshop after too many glasses of vodka or whiskey Howard’s alcohol soaked mind had always seemed to start to slide into the theories of what could be. Theories about how the serum may have affected Steve, hinting at the possibility that it could have kept the man alive. It was those nights that hurt the most, Howard would give him hope, then in the morning he’d be reminded that the probability of those theories were so small they were almost impossible especially with how Steve had gone down.

It was listening to those drunken rants after so many years that brought him to where he was now. Finally, after feeling the disappointed sting year after year he knew he didn’t want Steve to be found. He couldn’t keep putting himself through the cycle of getting his hopes up, only to get them and his heart crushed again. He couldn’t bring himself to want to see one of the men he was meant for, made for, but had never known to be dead and cold. Tony couldn’t take it knowing he’d never get to know that man, the one he still had a crush on cause he couldn’t help it, he was still his soulmate. So now he hoped that Howard wouldn’t find the Captain's body just as strongly as he hoped he would. He felt guilty for not wanting it found, it was selfish, truly and completely selfish of him. But he didn’t want to have to say goodbye, and while the Captain’s body was still missing he didn’t have to say goodbye, not yet at least.

Tony left off the shirt that hid his scars, he didn’t want to dig back through his boxes and risk Howard seeing or finding it and stealing it for the cloaking technology the man had been cooing over trying to build from Star Trek. Tony’s fingers fumbled with the buttons each button spiking his anxiety, he knew his father was in a wretched mood even though they were celebrating his birthday, and Tony wasn’t naive enough to think he wouldn’t feel the effects of that mood. The slip ups on the buttons was unusual at this point, Tony had become quite adept at dawning a suit in the last year, his mother had made sure of it, and was coming by to check on him in a few minutes to make sure he was presentable for the company they would be keeping. He heard a familiar voice in the hall, his Uncle Obie, Tony stuck his head out of the door of his room and crept closer. In Obie’s hand was a box of scotch, Tony’s breath caught, Howard was always the worst after scotch, Tony was going to have to be careful tonight, very careful.

Tony was careful that night he kept to himself mingling with the few other kids in the room, not that he had much in common with the kids his age who were going into high school while he was headed to MIT in 5 days. He would force himself onto the floor for dances when his mother caught his eye giving him a pointed look. He chatted amicably with his Aunt Peggy, she was warm toward him and always had a kind comment and a warm hug, something he’d been missing over the summer since Ana Jarvis’ death. Maria shoved him behind the piano twice in the night before he managed to escape into the far corner. The only downside of the far corner was it was the closest corner to Howard’s study.

With proximity came trouble, Tony had been adeptly avoiding it so far, but all good things come to an end. Tony’s luck ran out after the champagne toast to Howard, Obie found him and pulled him into the group of the Stark Industry higher ups. They were talking about the newest weapons they were rolling out, advancements they had been able to make with that computer model Howard had acquired two years ago. Tony’s eyes locked on Howard. That’s where his computer model had gone, Howard was using it to create and design new tech, it wasn’t as high powered as Tony’s, but it still had the power to help create and draw up 3D models of the tech. “Isn’t that the computer Tony built at boarding school?” Obie asked.

Howard gritted his teeth and took a sip of scotch. “It is.” Howard forced a smile onto his mouth as he answered curtly, “Tony is actually headed off to college on Sunday for his orientation week at MIT.” Howard’s mouth twisted at the comment, Tony swallowed hard that look was new. The mask Howard wore around the media was in place, but the scotch was showing its cracks, cracks only Tony knew were there, cracks that caused his blood to run ice cold. He didn’t know what was about to happen but he had a feeling he wasn’t going to like it. He was right to be scared Howard turned and grabbed a glass filling it with a large ice cube and pouring some scotch over it, “Tony you’re heading to college soon it's not like this won’t be available to you, so you better learn to drink it the right way.” Howard said handing the fourteen year old the drink of 25 year old scotch. Tony took it, seeing the challenge in Howards eyes. He had just walked into a game where he knew none of the rules but was expected to play perfectly, this was going to be a dangerous game and he knew it. 

He stood and listened to the men chatting, Obie telling stories about Howard wanting to focus on energy and cars and other products after the war. Obie proceeded to humbly brag that he had convinced him that the man who had helped create the Manhattan project had the best option to scoop up government military funding by going into weapons development for them. Everyone laughed Tony didn’t get it, the idea of going into energy and cars and branching out into all sorts of markets sounded fun, actually that sounded amazing; and like a lot more fun than just manufacturing weapons. He asked why they didn’t do both and quickly learned that the more interesting sides of science didn’t make nearly the same amount of money as weapons did. The board was interested in money, not innovation. He watched tediously as Howard spoke, saying that the large production scale was because he had the highest standards for the weapons that he made, they had to work, the military was counting on Stark weapons to save them and letting them down was out of the question. Tony was impressed that he had finally found something he could agree with Howard on. Obie just rolled his eyes, and that was when Tony started to feel uncomfortable, he had the ominous feeling creep over him that Obie didn’t agree with Howard on the 100% Stark guarantee that the weapon would work. Tony did though, as a Stark if he was going to put his name on something it was going to work and it would work every time. That was the point that the night took a turn for the worst; Obie started to regale the others with ‘Tony the Golden Goose’ Stories. The only bad part was in all of the stories Obie told Howard was somehow saved by the prodigal son.

Tony sipped his scotch, his wide anxious eyes flicking between Howard and the floor as he fought his own gag reflex each time the woody smokey liquid burned down his throat. Howard would refill his drink each time he got close to finishing it, after the 3rd one Tony was finally feeling the weight lifting, he felt like he could breath. He didn’t feel stuck or small, he didn’t feel out of place, sure the glare he was getting from Howard was uncomfortable but Tony could finally breathe and observe the interactions as he swayed slightly on his feet. With the 4th glass he felt free from the weight of the world, it was a lightness he’d never experienced before, the carefreeness the alcohol enabled him to feel was a reprieve from the normal weight he carried, between his expectations as a Stark and the slowly dawning horror that the ‘Golden Goose’ moments Obie was so proud of him for had lead to the death and bloodshed of countless humans. His number of people he had a hand in killing vastly outweighing the number he had saved. He knew the magnitude of that realization would hit him like a battering ram come morning. For now though he was thankful for the fuzzy feeling that was taking off the sharp edge of the reality he has just become aware of, a reality that had hit him like a bucket of cold water to the face. He was enjoying the physical and emotional numbing effects that the scotch was playing.

Tony was still relieved when the end of the night came, the shy part of him that still didn’t know how to act around others was longing to retreat back to his room and the safety of his workshop. He had found the night educational for himself, Tony realized he wasn’t Howard; he wasn’t as loud or egotistical and he didn’t think he was that obnoxious. But he did see how Howard’s bravado of those characteristics put up a wall between him and those around him. He saw how he tested the people around him to see if they were there for him or for their own personal gain. It was a tactic Tony would later realize he too needed, one Tony would adopt and perfect over the years cultivating it and interfacing it seamlessly into his own defense mechanism. The mask he would create for himself over the next three years would be one of his greatest accomplishments, his ability to hide his feelings, a mask almost no one would see through all the layers of, he would build too many walls for anyone to see through them all.

Tony was in the back kitchen, Jarvis had set him down at the table with some food, he took the scotch glass from his hand just after the last guests had left. Howard and Obie had retreated into Howard’s study about thirty minutes before the party ended. Tony was in the middle of another bite of the turkey sandwich when he heard the door to the study open and Obie left, the front door clicking in the distance. Tony knew even through the lightweight fog of his mind that he should stay put. He knew better than to try and dodge Howard in the house, it was better to wait him out and listen for when he went to bed first. Tony chewed slowly listening for Howard. The hard slam of the study door alerted Tony to Howard leaving it, his heart rate spiked. The sound alone caused his body to freeze, his muscles locking up with fear, he closed his eyes and took a few steady breaths trying to settle the adrenaline that was now coursing through his veins sending him into high alert. He stopped eating, he wanted to be as quiet as he could be, and at the moment his chewing sounded loud to him, he was almost back to his baseline when hands slammed into the table in front of him. Tony jumped up, shoving the chair back behind him a bit with the force. Tony swayed as he opened his eyes, Howard was glaring down at him, his face red, knuckles white, Tony’s breath caught in his throat. He had never seen this look on Howard’s face. Tony felt himself backing away towards the pantry at least then he’d be able to put a door between himself and Howard. He tried to bolt, but his feet got caught in the legs of the chair, he stumbled sideways and instead of getting to the door of the pantry he ended up keeling sideways into the counter. 

Tony hadn’t anticipated the lag in his thought process or that his reactions would be slower from the 4 glasses of scotch. A heavy hand fell onto his shoulder, catching him before he could right himself and escape into the pantry, safe behind the door. The grip clamped down and tightened painfully around his shoulder, the fingers digging under his collarbone as he tried in vain to escape. Tony fought the urge to whimper, the pain biting through the alcohol induced haze. Any sounds of pain he made at the moment he knew would only make his situation worse. He was wheeled around by the hand on his shoulder, his back slamming into the counter he’d just hit. The air in his lungs revolted, flying out with the contact, it stalled him even more as his lungs screamed for air, trying in vain to suck oxygen back in. They fluttered and tightened and tried to fill, Tony's eyes watered as he struggled to breathe. He closed his eyes attempting to calm down, he tried to swallow, it seemed to loosen his throat up, and soon he felt the terror start to recede, with a shudder that ran down his back he felt the spasms in his lungs cease. He tentatively took a slow breath feeling relieved as the cool air moved down his throat filling his lung again. He suddenly realized that Howard had been speaking to him while he was trying to regain his ability to breath, he tried to rewind and focus on what Howard had said, he willed his brain to work faster as he greedily sucked in air. Howard was staring at him, he wouldn’t have much more time before he’d need to answer, mild oxygen deprivation on top of being intoxicated or not. His time ran out. “You really didn’t think I wouldn’t notice.” Tony froze, what had Howard noticed this time. He could only manage a meek shrug as he was pinned against the counter, even in his inebriated state he could smell the scotch, oysters and cigar on Howard’s hot, and now slightly rancid breath. He fought the urge to turn away. "You had to make tonight all about you didn’t you!" Howard sneered spittle flying from his slurping mouth spraying Tony’s face. Tony felt the shiver of terror shoot through his entire body.

“I didn’t mean to” Tony started now that he knew what had Howard so mad. He hadn’t even been the person who’d kept bringing him up, that had been Obie. But like always Tony was taking the blame.

Howard's face had turned into a nasty shade of purple, he looked up a vein in his forehead he’d never noticed to be this prominent was now throbbing dangerously. Tony gulped, afraid of what was coming he had never seen Howard this angry and far gone to his emotions in the past. Howard snarled letting a fist fly, sinking into his stomach just under his ribs, Tony was barely able to register the words coming from Howards mouth as he kept up the onslaught. The bits Tony caught were a mixture of Howard saying that he was sick of Tony's selfish behavior and immaturity, he was sick of having a parasite of a child who didn’t know what it took to be a real man in the world. He would do and say anything to hurt Tony at that point. Tony curled inward raising his arms to protect his head, he was prioritizing his head over his now open to hit ribs.

Howard’s tactic changed to verbally hit just as hard as his hands, hands that stilled just long enough to rip the button down that covered Tony’s torso, he wasn’t satisfied til Tony sat bare chested in front of him, his scars now on display for the empty kitchen to see. Howard just scoffed, “And in what universe do you think that those two would have ever wasted their time on you?” Howard asked stabbing a finger hard between his ribs, “A spoiled selfish brat with more scars than he has sense, you can’t even hold a conversation.” Howard’s words cut deep another jab of his finger into his ribs had Tony slowly backing away toward the sliding glass door that led out to the back yard, “You, a kid who could never measure up to those two men. No one will care about you, not when they realize how much of a god-damned show off you are. Never mind your inability to interact like a regular person and with scars like that, no one will blame them, no one wants to have damaged goods.” Tony reeled from Howard’s words, his guard dropping completely as he stared wide eyed up at Howard, that was when the final blow came, a swift hard punch into his slack jaw as he stood there stunned by the words, words that made him go cold inside as his gut twisted and clenched painfully. 

Tony couldn’t gain his balance as he fell backwards, his back hit something that was solid at first but it quickly gave way behind him from the force. The sharp edges of glass cutting into his back and shoulders Tony landed on the sharp pieces now littering the concrete patio he’d stumbled back onto through the sliding glass door. Amaranthus and Cyclamen searing across another’s back, torso legs, neck and even feet as Tony’s skin was split.

“I’m sorry,” Tony whispered brokenness feeling the hot sticky liquid running down his back, cutting into his palms and forearms as he scrambled away as best he could with the woozy feeling of sudden blood loss and the scotch still inebriating his system. “I’m trying, I didn’t try to take the spotlight.” Tony rambled, he couldn’t think straight.

"TRY! YOU NEVER TRY! YOU JUST SAT THERE AND TOOK ALL THE PRAISE THAT YOU HAVE NEVER EARNED A DAY IN YOUR LIFE! YOU JUST TOOK ALL THE ATTENTION LIKE THE SELFISH BRAT YOU ARE, YOU HAVE NO CARE FOR ANYONE ELSE. WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE CAP'' Howard snarled, hurling his still partially full glass at Tony. Tony couldn’t get his arms up fast enough, fear flooding his eyes. He turned his head just in time to save his nose, his orbital socket and ear weren’t so lucky taking the brunt of the impact as the glass cracked against his skull splitting the skin on his right cheek. White Columbine. Dots began to cloud Tony's vision as he fell back the darkness swallowing him, he collapsed back against the hard ground with force, the last thing he hears is the cold hiss of “Don’t apologize Anthony you’re a Stark, Starks don’t apologize.”

—————————— October 1984

It was while Tony was away at college he realized just how different he was from Howard. He flourished with a private lab and confined to being away from the media circus that followed. He didn’t like the flash and the lights that Howard did, he didn’t want any of the fanfare that went with his last name. He just wanted to study and be normal. He didn't need them to be watching his every move, even if he just bumped into someone and said sorry he was suddenly projected as if he was sleeping his way around campus. If he ate alone, he was depressed, well at least that one they had gotten right. His every move was watched, read into and extrapolated from into some sort of scandal. He hated every moment of it. 

One day he had had breakfast at a table and some girl had sat down with her friends at the table too, he’d barely registered her presence when all of a sudden he saw the flashes starting to go off from outside the dining hall. They had both looked up feeding into the perfect picture, it would be splashed all across the front page the next day. Tony had a hell of a time getting to his first class, ducking reporters and repeating the words “No Comment” more times than he had ever remembered needing.

He stood on the upper landing of the stairs staring at the ever growing crowd of reporters that were gathering. He had 15 minutes to get across campus, and with those vultures outside he’d never make it. A hand landed on his shoulder causing him to jump, “Come on Tony, I’ll show you another way.” Tony spun looking up to see Ty shyly staring down at him. “I found it a year ago when my parents got a divorce and the press suddenly felt a need to know my thoughts on the spilt.” Ty said, his smile was cordial, he looked like he felt for Tony and like he was sorry for the way they had ended things last time.

“Ok show it to me.”

Ty led Tony down into the basement and through a series of twists and turns and through a door, Ty knew Tony would remember it. Ty knew Tony had an eidetic memory. He followed him for another few minutes 3 coded doors and 4 long hallways later Ty walked up a set of stairs, “And that’s how you get from Fairchild to Sloan without stepping above ground.” Ty said. 

“Thank you Ty.” Tony acknowledged the older boy’s help.

“Not a problem, I kinda owe you.” Tony froze not expecting Ty to mention the incident from two and a half years ago. “You saved me, I didn’t know what I was doing and you did and you paid for it.” Ty bent his head, “I’m so sorry, I know that’s not enough and it's not ever going to be enough. But I still wanted to say it, let me know if you need anything, I’ll do what I can to help.” Ty breathed out, speaking fast as he jumbled his apology together trying to express his feelings quickly and sincerely. Appealing to his knowledge that Tony was bad at interpersonal relationships, and couldn’t tell the difference between him being sincere and him playing up his speech and body language to show nervousness. Tony just nodded and walked away, now he had to wait and see if it took root in Tony and allowed them to reconnect. Ty knew he needed access to Tony again to be able to keep Viastone afloat when he got out of college, his father’s mental instability had caused a downturn in the last year and the company was taking a turn for the worst.

———————— November 1984

In the classroom Tony was miles ahead of everyone else, he spent his time drawing up the specs for new projects and things he could work on when he found some time in a workshop, he’d definitely get kicked out of the dorms if he set his on fire again. “Mr Stark” It was getting to the point where he may have to put the Stark name to use and get what he wanted with the help of Howard, as much as he may not enjoy it. “Mr Stark” He grimaced making a note to call Jarvis, he’d already propositioned the Dean to let him move ahead, how had he ended up in derivative calculus, he’d mastered this 4 years ago! “MR STARK,” Tony jumped and looked up to a smirking professor “Ah good to see you can hear.” A few chuckles sounded in the room. “Sorry to bore you.”

“Bore me? No, to be bored I’d actually have to pay attention to this class which is an absolute waste of time. What gave you the impression that I would ever spend time on something that would bore me, I have more important things to do.”

“Pray tell Mr Stark what is more important?”

“If you must know I was working on solving the Collatz Conjecture. I needed it solved for a project I have been working on. Now I’m onto wireless internet.”

“The Collatz Conjecture?” The professor looked amused.

“That’s what I said.” Tony confirmed meeting the professor’s eye.

“Well how about you get off your high horse thinking you can solve an unsolvable equation and solve this one here.” the professor smirked holding out the chalk to Tony.

Tony hated it when this happened, but he stood up all the same his eyes flicking to the problems behind the professor, he didn’t need to tell the professor he’d already solve both the problems on the board and the Conjecture. It wouldn’t do anything to help him, instead he took the chalk from the professor’s hand and wrote the answer just below the equation in the top corner “There is your answer, or do you want the full proof with it?”

“How?”

“I could have solved this 3 years ago in my sleep,” Tony said, letting out a small chuckle. His eye roll that accompanied it was audible in his voice as he challenged the professor to say something while he handed the chalk back and walked away back to his seat. The professor watched him, his face carefully blank, maybe the Stark kid would be a good investment. The Dean had sent out a message to the faculty asking if someone had an empty lab space for the kid. At first he’d just thought it was because of the name, Stark, keeping the kid happy kept the parent happy with keeping the money flowing in from them. Then he’d noticed Tony in his room, the kid never seemed to pay attention, yet every assignment was perfect. So he tested him, and he hadn’t been disappointed, the kid hadn’t even solved the right question but he’d solved the harder of the two, the professor’s mind had been made, Tony would be a good addition to his lab.

The whole class watched him as he went back to the seat, none of them wanting to tell him he’d solved the wrong equation. That’s what happened when he didn’t pay attention to the teachers. Everyone was still quiet staring between the 14 year old boy in the corner and the professor. Tony chose to not look like he noticed as he dropped his head back to the specs he was working on for an addition to his satellite he was trying to figure out how to add on a docking station so he could grow the satellite without bringing it back down, he already knew it wasn’t going to be a working satellite if it had to re-enter the atmosphere to add on, he’d just need to build an new one, which was still a possibility. He worked quietly on it for the rest of class no one bothered him until the bell rang. “Mr Stark,” The professor called out to him.

Tony fought to keep his shoulders back and set, he finished packing up and turned. He expected this, he had been partially distracted for the rest of the class hoping he hadn’t made yet another enemy “Yes sir?” He asked, the room was empty, why did he have to forget the teacher's name, sir suddenly seemed so impersonal.

“I heard that you have petitioned the Dean to test out of the majority of your undergrad classes and to have an open lab to go after a dual masters as well.” The professor said. Tony nodded. “I have sent the Dean an email saying I’m backing this proposition, and I have an empty lab in my wing. By any chance would your master’s be working with theoretical math and physics.”

“A bit, I’m going specifically for a Masters in Physics, Engineering and Computer Science as well, if it fits into the time tables. I’ve been hoping to create a hologram style computer that will eventually interface with an AI to help speed up the processing and development side of building and creating new projects.”

“Did I hear you correctly earlier when you said you had solved the Collatz Conjecture? You used the past tense and after solving my automatic A question, I’m inclined to think there was a reason for that.”

“You did hear me correctly.” 

The professor nodded “The lab is yours to work in if you would like, I will let you know the status of your proposal to test out of undergrad by next class.”

Tony was stunned, his eyes wide, “Thank you Sir.” Tony gasped out, his eyes spun around the room, what had caused that? Then he saw it. The equation in the corner of the blackboard, he’d solved that one instead, the automatic A problem. He’d had it solved for weeks, he must have been in such a state of frustration when he walked up to the board he hadn’t noticed he’d solved the wrong equation. It did explain this new side of the professor though.

“I will see you on Tuesday. Come by my office sometime if you want the key code to the lab.” The older man said with a nod turning to pack up his own stuff into his briefcase. Tony nodded and scurried out of the room, he’d found a professor to back his petition and the proposal to move into a self based learning style he thrived in and to start work on his Masters and have his own workshop. Now he wished he’d been nicer to the man when he’d first gone to solve the equation.

\----------------------

Tony was at the professor’s door the next day, and was busy setting up the lab all day, he’d called Mr Jarvis to help him and to bring the equipment that he had left at home and emailed him a map so he could find the boxes he needed. The ones he had hidden and stashed away where Howard wouldn’t find them. Jarvis had loaded everything up and gotten it to him that same day, then had helped him Tony was happy to help with the move as were some of the other lab students. Tony wasn’t unaware that Mr Jarvis was creeping up in his years, the passing of Ana earlier in the year had rang that in clearly for Tony. He tried to make things easier on the man since he knew Howard kept him busy enough. 

Tony grinned as he said goodbye to Jarvis for the night, he slunk back into his new lab and turned on the loud music smiling as he felt it pulse through him, he immediately started to rearrange his new space, allowing optimal space for activities, he spun up a spot for Dum-E, starting to reassemble the robot into one piece. “Hey I thought I heard you.” A voice called from the doorway while Tony was struggling with a particularly large piece of equipment. “You need help?”

Tony nearly dropped the piece he was holding on his foot when Ty’s voice cut over the music. “Actually that’d be great.” Tony tried to yell back but he couldn’t get his voice to go louder than the music, Ty turned down the music, smirking at the boy who was nodding frantically “Yes please.” Tony nodded, straining to keep the machine up as he was dragging it. The 20 year old smiled walking over taking the equipment from Tony, being 6 years older gave him the strength to lift and move the piece easily. Tony blushed as Ty set it where he directed he was hard pressed to not notice the flex of Ty’s back muscles through the tight black shirt he had on. 

“Ok what’s next?” Ty asked, turning around meeting the boy’s face who was staring at his chest, eyes flicking quickly over the older’s body. Ty smiled widely, shifting to relax against the large piece of equipment he’d just set down, he didn’t shy away from Tony’s gaze, in fact he welcomed it, it would get Tony to open up faster. Ty helped Tony set up the rest of his workshop, Tony ignored the nagging in the back of his head that this was a bad idea, then he remembered that Ty was just helping him set up and he had a code on the door a code only he and Professor Scobe knew, not that the professor had wanted to know it, he didn’t see a need, he just asked that Tony keep him updated with his progress on his projects Tony gave him the code anyway, it was easier. Tony pointed to the couch, it was the same one from his dorm at the boarding school, Jarvis had brought it knowing Tony’s ability to get stuck in a project and remain in the lab til far past normal hours. Ty just laughed and nodded walking over to the other side “Where are we putting it?” he asked. 

Ty helped him move in for the next thirty minutes Tony was grateful it would have easily taken him twice that amount of time if he hadn’t had the help. When they had finished Tony couldn’t stop the question he’d been wondering about for the last twenty minutes, “How did you find me?”

Ty looked over at him from his spot on the couch “I heard your music from upstairs, I work in one of Professor Hanigan’s labs upstairs you’re music is a fairly tell tale sign that you’re working.” Ty laughed. “I figured I’d come down to see if it was you that took over Scobe’s vacant lab.” 

“Oh” was all Tony said in response, still wary of Ty in his space, he was watching him like a hawk, he didn’t want a repeat of the last time. 

“Ok well I have to go,” Ty said, checking his watch, and standing up. “I’m headed over to SAE for the party they are throwing.” Ty moved to the door. Then turned back “You wanna come?”

“Oh! Uh, no?” Tony asked he hadn’t realized what Ty was asking.

“Come on Tony, it’ll be fun, I promise it's nothing like those stuffy galas we’re forced to go too.”

“I don’t have anything to wear and I still have work to do here.” Tony waved Ty off.

“Ok suit yourself Tony, but you should come next week, it’ll be fun, they have beer pong, which you’d kill at and poker and they normally have some pretty fun other things going on. You're in college, you should enjoy it at least.” Ty said then left Tony to his new workspace.

Tony did go the next week he followed Ty to the other party TEP Ty had convinced him to wear the color purple for the night saying it was a thing. He found himself in a wonderful haze by the end of the night, Ty got him home without any issue from the press, and Tony had found himself hooked. He loved that he wasn’t the center of attention, at least not when he didn’t want to be. He loved the burn of the whisky, he loved the feel of the cocaine and the chill fog of the smoke. He fell into the fraternity party scene hard, allowing Ty to drag him around to parties, introducing him to all sorts of people, new friends. Jarvis clicked his tongue disapprovingly when Tony had come home for the holidays. But Tony was past the point of caring, he still got his school work done, the Dean had approved his proposal to independently study, he’d tested out of almost all his undergraduate classes, and Professor Scobe had vouched for him. Tony slowly slid into the same coping habits he saw in his father. But he understood why now, the alcohol slowed his brain enough to help him actually interact with other people, it made him normal. The weed, he loved the calm rush it layered onto his body, washing over him like a warm hug, it helped with the blood, he’d become more and more aware of, from the media and his own growing awareness of the world. From the coke he loved the jumpstart, the fast burst of high that gave him the ability to push past the discomfort of his mind, it was a distraction, it also had been what had caused him to finally figure out the nanobot programming he’d been working on, programming them to turn skin colored and interlock onto his skin, it was more comfortable than the shirt he’d taken to wearing. The nanobots were lighter, felt more real, they didn’t come off except for every few days when they needed to recharge but that only took an hour or two and he could easily live with the scars and hide for the few hours it took for them to recharge. Coke was now hidden in his desk for when he needed that kick start of energy.

By the time his first year came to a close and Tony went home he truly realized that even with Ty and the friends he hung out with he’d never felt more alone. None of them contacted him over the break unless it was to go to a party they didn’t like him, they liked his name and his money, and the fame. It had been silly of him to think he’d be able to get away with the media not seeing him for the whole year as he partied every Friday night. Howard had been livid, Maria had been distant and unavailable as ever, Jarvis had been the only one who’d listened to him. Jarivs had consoled him, and called Peggy, who told him the words he’d never forget, she knew what it was like to not be taken seriously. Peggy was the closest thing he’d ever seen to a mother so he took her words carefully and integrated them into his life, “Compromise where you can dear. Where you can’t, don’t. Don't sacrifice yourself for who they think you should be or who they tell you to be. Even if everyone is telling you that something wrong is right. Even if the whole world is telling you to move, it is your duty to plant yourself like a tree, look them in the eye and say ‘No, you move.’” 

Tony took those words to heart, he needed to be true to himself. He didn’t need those friends that only hung out with him to score drugs and leech off him. Howard’s bravado made more sense now, the spite and the sharp tactics towards new people. He had to grow a thicker skin and learn that most people weren’t there for him. Ty was the only one that ever asked how he was doing over the summer break. Tony had been weary of letting Ty back in, but he’d never tried to come into his lab unless Tony invited him, Ty had respected his boundaries and slowly he’d let the other back in. He was the only one of those ‘friend’s’ he ever saw outside of the party scene. So at the start of the next year the 15 year old retreated back into his safe world of mechanics, machines and technology, he was lonely but he found solace in his coding and the mechanics. 

Tony had devised a solution though that would tackle both the problem of his loneliness and the steady decline in his health that he’d faced the last year with all the partying, forgetting to eat, lack of sleep and drugs. He’d come up with the idea when Jarvis had commented that Tony needed to learn how to take better care of himself this year while dropping him off to MIT again. Tony had been toying with the idea of another AI for a while, he’d learned a lot from his creation of Dum-E and Butterfingers, his newest bot he’d built to help him in the lab. Jarvis’ concern had been the spark plug for his new AI, this one however wouldn’t have a body, they would be an assistant of sorts, someone to keep tabs on the things Tony couldn’t, and one of those things he was quickly realizing he needed help keeping tabs on was his own wellbeing. Someone to run things on the back end, run numbers and simulations, because the more he knew and learned the more questions he had about everything, how it worked. After all he was an engineer at heart and if he knew how it worked then he knew how to fix it, he knew he couldn’t fix everything, but he also knew he had a lot to make up for the blood drenching his hands and soul was slowly growing into a sea pulling at him constantly, fixing helped alleviate the pull.

Tony was doing well, he didn’t go to parties as much, he knew he wanted to make Jarvis proud. Jarvis was the only person he really cared about the opinion of, not even Ty’s prodding got him out for more than coffee. God he loved coffee, how he’d never found it til now he didn’t know. But as per Jarvis’ request he was trying to be good, he hadn’t even felt the need to get into the coke stashed away in his desk. If he was honest he liked the coffee more and the caffeine addiction he’d developed was causing enough havoc on his eating and sleep schedule he didn’t need to add in the coke habit he’d managed to tame over the summer. Tony knew he needed parameters with his coffee too though, so he set up a randomized code integrating it into the coffee machine he built so it would start supplying him with decaf after a certain time or a certain cup number that was always varying, so he really was playing with Schrodinger’s Cat between 1 and 3:30 pm or cup 3 and 6 depending on which came first. He had to try and be good, he’d all but promised Jarvis he would be. 

All of that crumbled in the next semester, Tony had just placed the nanobots back into their recharging dock in the lab when he got the phone call he’d been fearing. Jarvis had suffered a heart attack and hadn’t made it through the surgery. It was Friday morning when Tony had heard the news, Howard hadn’t even been the one to tell him, no the office assistant Howard kept had been tasked with calling Tony. Tony didn’t know how to react, he just sat there in the middle of his workshop, he didn’t eat, he didn’t drink coffee, he just sat there on the floor. The only move he made was to grab the bottle of whiskey in the bottom drawer of his desk before crumpling back down to the floor. He didn’t even care if someone saw him with the bottle, he’d just lost the closest person to him, his level of caring had bottomed out into the negatives. 

It was there on the floor with a half empty bottle of Talisker, it wasn’t his favorite but it worked in a pinch, that Ty found him. Tony waved him in, he hadn’t had time to lock the door. He’d gotten the call just after he’d walked into the workshop and placed the nanobots into their charging cradle, and since then he’d only moved to grab the bottle. “Tony?” Ty questioned, his voice hesitant as he looked the younger boy over, he was already pretty drunk and was clearly not functioning well at the moment. “What happened?” Ty had never seen Tony like this and as much as he really only tolerated the kid, he had to admit Tony looked like he could use a distraction.

It took Tony about a minute to answer but Ty was no stranger to Tony’s time delay in responding, but a minute was longer than he’d ever had to wait before, “Jarvis. He’s dead.” That explained why it had taken so long. Ty knew Jarvis was more of a parent to Tony than Howard or Maria had ever been. He honestly understood it to an extent, Felix had been his version of Jarvis growing up. However he also suspected that his own father couldn’t hold a candle to Tony’s on the neglect side. If Tony calling Howard by his name was any indication at least. Tony barely called Maria his mother, the Jarvis’ and his Aunt were the only ones he knew Tony truly cared about.

“I’m sorry Tony,” Ty took the bottle looking around. He found the box in the bottom drawer of the desk, he put it back before pulling the boy up. “Come on, you should get something to eat and change into some new clothes, then we’ll work on getting you distracted,” Ty told Tony the plan, knowing the boy even when drunk as a skunk could function cognitively at a higher level than the ordinary human could sober. He knew what Ty was saying and the nod he gave Ty was taken as a sign of good faith.

Ty threw his arm around the smaller boy lifting him up, Tony hummed and let his head fall against the older boy, his body and mind screaming for the comfort of a friendly touch. Ty smiled looking down at the younger boy, he wasn’t unattractive and Ty definitely didn’t mind the boy’s attention. He’d watched as Tony had grown into himself over the years, warm hazelnut eyes and soft cocoa hair, grease stains on his cheeks and his pink tongue poking out between his lips as he mumbled while pouring over his designs. Ty would have been insane to not notice the boy, he hadn’t hit his growth spurt yet but he was already starting to look like he would be tall, and his shoulders which were already wider than most 15 year olds showed he’d grow into the strong set Italian side Maria’s brothers and father radiated. He was attractive and Ty had been paying attention, it was college he was allowed to experiment, and Tony hadn’t been good at hiding his blush at parties when he’d watched Ty dancing or just moving around a party. Ty knew Tony was attracted to him, not that the boy didn’t watch or wasn’t attracted to girls too; they had definitely drawn his eyes as well, but Ty had definitely been the main recipient of Tony’s gaze when it came to men. Ty also knew Tony hadn’t done anything about any of his attractions yet, it made him come to the conclusion that Tony was a chip off the Stark model, no soulmark and he was just shy. This conclusion made more and more sense the more Ty thought about it, as they walked the more he realized Tony had to be unmarked, Tony was just young and the Stark family were traditional so Tony wouldn’t be so forth right if he had a soulmark. If he’d had a soulmark Tony wouldn’t have been flirting with him at parties he would be attempting to save himself for that soulmate. Ty never considered that the Stark’s weren’t traditionalist and didn’t live by old guard outdated rules, he just assumed it because most old money families were. He forgot that the Stark’s weren’t old money Howard had cultivated the family fortune all on his own.

Ty himself didn’t have a mark, but he knew if he did he would wait for them, the Stone family was always traditionalists in that way, old money socialites on his mom’s side who had married into a manufacturing giant’s empire. He grew up living and seeing the old guard rules integrated into everything, his own sister had even worn a sleeve to cover her mark til she had been of age to submit a picture of her mark for matching through the database. She hadn’t been left unattended at parties or social gathering her whole life, it wasn’t proper to leave a marked woman alone. Then she had moved in with her mate a week after meeting him, a traditionalist family’s way of going about it. Luckily the man had also followed the traditional ways, he had always turned away the attention of others he had never engaged or flirted with any one else he was saved completely for his other half his soulmate. Ty knew if he had a mark then he definitely wouldn’t be attracting or giving the attention Tony had been if he did, he wouldn’t be going out to parties he’d be much more focused on being faithful to the mate he would eventually have and meet when he graduated. His assumption that Tony had been raised with the same overbearing and restrictive rules made him more inclined to think Tony didn’t have a mark either. He half walked half dragged Tony back to the boy’s dorm, he didn’t even try to hide them from the camera’s that flashed around them, there really wasn’t anything they could print that hadn’t already been said at this point. Well there was one thing they hadn’t printed, and with how Tony was leaning into him, they may just make that leap today.

Ty got Tony up to his room dropping him into a chair, getting him a cup of coffee and a glass of cold water handing them over to him. Tony drained the coffee cup quickly then turned to the water doing the same. Ty refilled the cups repeating the actions with Tony. “Thanks.” Tony nodded, his brain still muddled and fuzzy with high running emotions and the alcohol, he knew he wasn’t thinking clearly at the moment. The water and coffee helped a little but he knew only time would truly clear his head but food would definitely help and slow the alcohol entering his blood stream down.

“Not a problem Tony. Now you should probably change and then we’ll go get you some food then go do something to keep you mind occupied.” Ty laid out the plan for the rest of the day for Tony again. Tony just nodded numbly standing up still wobbling from the scotch, his shirt was a rumpled mess already, he knew he should change it, he should eat, he should take care of himself, that’s what Jarvis would have wanted. But right then he couldn’t bring himself to do it, luckily Ty had stepped up to help him take care of himself.

“Food is probably a good idea.” Tony acknowledged with a numb sigh, he could defer to Ty’s judgement for the night. Ty had been the only one who’d still kept in contact over the last term when he’d stepped back from the partying scene he’d fallen into the year before. Even with their past Tony trusted Ty more than himself right then. It was with that thought that Tony pulled the wrinkled shirt over his head.

Ty turned from Tony’s dresser to hand him a new shirt, “Here.” Ty said.

“Thank you Ty,” Tony’s voice was still quiet as he took the shirt, tossing the wrinkled shirt, into the bin. Tony hadn’t even realized he didn’t have the nanobots covering his scars or mark, the scars and shield were fully on display. 

It was with the outstretching of Tony’s arm that Ty saw it his eyes didn’t focus on the scars no they zeroed in on his side. The side where the Red, Silver and Blue shield sat. It was a symbol he’d known his whole life, everyone knew it, especially those with a company that had military contracts. His teeth grit, Tony had a mark and had the audacity to be shirtless in front of him, to flirt with him and others, Ty’s jaw clenched hard he felt his teeth creak under the strength of his own jaw. “You have a soul mark?” Ty all but hissed, the words were out of his mouth before he realized he’d thought them.

Tony froze, suddenly realizing that the nanobots were charging in his lab, Ty had seen his mark and the scars. He yanked at the shirt in his hands quickly and clumsily slamming the shirt over his head. He turned to see Ty who’s eyes were still staring at the place his mark sat. “Uh yea I do.”

Ty felt his blood go cold with rage, Tony had a soulmate and from the look of it they were going to be an amazing person. The real Captain had died but this person based on that mark would be the Hero’s equal. It was with that thought that Ty lost all respect for the boy, the traditionalist in his head screaming at Tony’s lack of honor and respect for his partner. Ty had been taught that the shape one’s mark took meant something. Seeing the Captain’s shield on Tony’s ribs meant quite a bit to him, it would mean a lot to any one. Ty was pissed off for Tony’s mate, whoever they were, Tony needed to be shown what happened if you didn’t take your intended seriously. Traditionalists lived with an old school code that quite often contradicted itself but they would argue that it was the only way to teach someone respect in a way that would stick. “Quite the mark you have there, that’s a pretty influential symbol, they must be someone special.” 

“I don’t know, I guess so.” Tony shrugged, fighting down the panic before forcing out the lie. “I don’t know who they are.”

“You have what looks like Captain America’s Shield on your ribs and you’ve never looked into it?” Ty hissed out the question.

Tony didn’t want to talk about this, he didn’t want to talk about his dead soulmates not after he’d lost Jarvis. Not now. “No. I figure I’ll meet them eventually if I’m supposed to.” Tony bit out the lie he didn’t want to deal with the misery of all those he’d lost right then, Jarvis was hard enough he didn’t want to add the sorrow of Bucky and Steve into it too.

“No?” Ty was becoming more livid by the second, but he had to swallow it, a plan forming in his head. Tony would learn, he’d learn that his soulmate, whoever they were, deserved better than what Tony had been doing to them, whether they knew it or not.

“Ty, I really don’t want to have this conversation right now, or ever so how about you drop it.” Tony snapped his temper flaring at the turn the conversation was taking, he wasn’t in a state of mind for this and it really wasn’t Ty’s business. Soulmates and marks were personal. It was bad enough that Ty was still staring at the place his mark had been even now he’d put on his shirt. He even grabbed a sweatshirt pulling on the grey piece of clothing with the maroon MIT sewn into the front. He wanted another layer between his mark and Ty’s eyes but two sweatshirts would be overkill even in February.

To Tony’s relief Ty nodded and his eyes broke away from his ribs, the scowl stayed in place, but he dropped the subject for the time being. “Sure Tony” He grimaced. “How does Amelia’s sound?”

“Amelia’s sounds wonderful,” Tony agreed with a nod, draining another cup of coffee and glass of water, he was glad he’d never entered the same “Schrodinger” coding into the coffee machine in his room, he could use the kickstart from the caffeine, it was helping clear the alcohol from his brain a little, but the alcohol was helping with the anxiety that Ty had seen his soulmark. He knew if he didn’t make a big deal out of it Ty would probably forget about it in a few hours, Tony had learned to deflect and redirect pretty well in the last few months so that’s what he went with hoping it would work this time too.

Tony and Ty ate dinner at the Italian Trattoria before Ty insisted that Tony needed to get his mind off the day and everything that happened and that a single mindless night would help. Tony begrudgingly agreed with Ty hoping that he could achieve the mindless numbing buzz from a delicately cultivated mixture he’d learned last year of a few drinks, loud music, weed and coke. He followed Ty into the house, he paid for just enough of the substances he knew he’d need to float away for the night. He wasn’t naive enough to think that he still wouldn’t hurt in the morning but he did know it would be a little less debilitating.

Just like when Ana had died he knew as time passed that the darkness and haze around him would slowly lighten. The drugs would definitely make it easier to cope with, they lightened the sharp edges of his mind and made it easier to deal with the pain, he welcomed the dulled senses. He suddenly didn’t know if he’d be able to cope with Jarvis’ death without the hazy blanket provided by the intoxicants, the drop in his senses was welcome. He felt like he could finally start to relax again. Maybe he’d buy a bit more than he’d need for just the night, just enough to get him through the roughest parts of the next week. Just until the next weekend when he’d have to go to the funeral, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to deal with that without some sort of outside help. He may have to go find Ty’s supplier later in the week. But for the time being he focused on curating the perfect haze.

He felt like he had finally taken his first deep breath of air as the bump hit him in time with the alcohol, the smoke filling his lungs and he held it the relief washing over him as the edges of his mind faded into normal, the tightly wound coil relaxing. He sighed feeling the calm hit him, his mind slowing to a normal speed, his senses softening. He hadn't realized how much he’d missed being able to slow down until now, why had he stopped? He cut off that train of thought quickly knowing where it led. He focused on being able to breath and the relief he felt from the hard edges blurring, his senses dulling pleasantly, he enjoyed not always being hyper aware. He collapsed letting his body sink backward into the plush couch of the frat house, he kept his buzz going throughout the night, knowing just when he needed another hit to keep his high going. He enjoyed getting lost in the feeling of being a part of the crowd again, that he didn’t have to be Tony Stark and he could just be Tony a student like everyone else at MIT. 

Ty kept a drink in Tony’s hand the whole time, Tony was grateful for that, each time Ty traded out his drink Tony would give him a loose smile through the haze in his head. Ty was keeping a close monitor on the drinks Tony consumed, waiting until their time at the party started to wind down before he upped the alcohol content of the cup, moving from almost a shot and a half to 3 in the last drink, knowing that the increase would hit Tony hardest in about an hour. Tony felt the uptick in alcohol hit him as he stood, he’d expected the sway, but he hadn’t anticipated standing to make him feel quite so woozy. Still he got it together and moved towards the door with Ty as the party started to die out. Tony felt his feet get lazy on him as they walked, his feet starting to drag and he stumbled out the door, his mind feeling even slower than he normally liked it. He wouldn’t register that it was due to Ty increasing the amount of alcohol until the next day when he was running over the events of the night. Ty followed Tony back to campus, and at that moment Tony was glad he was there, he wasn’t sure how he would’ve fared on the walk home. That gratefulness didn’t last though.

X

XX

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

XX

X

They were by the student center on the way back to Tony’s dorm when Ty’s hand closed, clamping down over his shoulder. Tony was shoved roughly face first into the brick side of the building into an archway that provided cover from the street. His chest and cheek collided with the building, a solid forearm across his shoulders effectively pinning him. Tony was stunned at first, his mind working harder to put together what was happening. He fought against the fog in his mind as it clicked into place, just as Ty’s free hand started to untuck Tony’s shirt roughly from behind him. Tony’s self preservation instincts kicked in, Tony tried to shove off from the wall into Ty to get him off. He couldn’t get a good leverage point though in his current position. Tony felt the panic and fear ripple through him, it was like ice water to his veins fighting against the alcohol, and the edible he’d taken. His words slurred together as he begged Ty to stop. Begged him not to do this. Ty didn’t stop and Tony fought harder to get away from the wall. 

He wasn’t weak he argued with himself, he yanked and moved heavy pieces of equipment around his workshop enough to stronger than people gave him credit for, but he was still younger, Ty had 6 years on him and a good 6 inches Tony hadn’t hit his growth spurt yet and he was still susceptible to being completely overpowered. Tony could push as hard as he wanted he kicked back, but his movements were slow and sloppy, Ty shoved a knee between his legs, his hips pinning Tony even further. Tony was all too aware of what was going on around him, the situation sobering him as the adrenaline and fear gave him all too much clarity for what was about to happen. Ty’s hand yanking at his pants, fighting his legs apart, the quick thrust tearing through his defenses, a hand on his ribs grabbing onto his mark “You’d disgust them. They deserve better than a soulmate who flirts with someone who isn’t them. They deserve someone who isn’t used. You don’t deserve them, the way you actively invite others to have you, flirt with you, and bed you.” Tony froze at the words, he fought back the tears, he fought back the sob that was threatening to wrench from his lips.

He was a Stark.

Starks did not bend. 

Starks did not show weakness.

Starks did not break.

Starks did not cry.

Starks were made of Iron.

So Tony gritted his teeth and swallowed his emotions and when he was too numb to care anymore he tried in vain to just let his mind escape into the haze the alcohol and drugs provided. But the adrenaline had heightened his senses and he couldn’t find the escape he was searching for. When Ty was done he dragged him the rest of the way back to his dorm, ignoring the limp forced into Tony’s gait.

X

XX

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

XX

X

Tony woke early the next morning, the hot breath and weight of another crushing against his chest. He felt his chest tighten as he realized who it was. He tried to remember what had happened the night before and he immediately wished he hadn’t the blurry flashes of the night before ran through his mind. He barely got out from under Ty before he hit his knees, dry heaving into his waste bin, when nothing came out he started to hyperventilate. His eyes spun around the room, seeing the clothes strewn all around, his clothes mixed with Ty’s, he needed out of that room. He fell towards the door, his legs struggling to work as sharp pain burned and spiked through his lower back and tailbone. He barely managed to grab his robe as he hurled himself down the dorm hallway in a stumbling horror-struck mess he gasped through the pain each step sent jarring through him. He threw himself into the nearest unoccupied shower not caring if it was cold or hot as he yanked the water on, he was too appalled and lost into his own mind to notice the temperature as he curled up behind the curtain. Sobs caught in his throat as he hit the tile floor of the shower, pain only increasing radiating outward, stinging as he landed, he was stunned and incapacitated by the film reel of the night previous that was re-playing in his head. The flash back was too much, too real for him to grasp, he yanked the shower dial all the way to the right, cold, as cold as it would go, he hoped the freezing water would remind him that the warmth of the body he could still feel behind him was only a memory. 

X

XXXXXXX

X

The words from the night before echoed in his head getting louder and louder as they reverberated around in his mind “You think you’re some kind of hero with a soulmark like that?” Ty had asked the sound of flesh slapping against his filling the space between Ty’s grunted out words. “I’d never touch a soulmate like you. No one wants an attention whore for a soulmate.” Tony couldn’t help the whine that escaped his lips. “Ahh so this was all for the Attention, wasn’t it, you couldn’t be more selfish could you, trying to take the glory for yourself from others. Wanting them and everyone else you have no sense of decency. You don’t deserve that mark or the person on the other side of it. You’ll be the first record of a rejected soul pair, no one needs a greedy self centered used child for a mate, No one will ever want to be paired with someone that no one could ever love.”

X

XXXXXXXX

X

Tony felt his mind go blank as the words hit him, the cold seeping through him from the water as the words washed over him and took root with a freezing burn, his muscles all locking down, a white haze freezing him solid at the implications Ty had made. It wasn’t the first time Tony had come to the conclusions but this was the first time he believed it, his mind and body accepting his new reality, he was unlovable, no one would ever be able to love someone like him, it was an impossibility. Tony sat there swallowed by the crushing weight of his new reality he felt like he was numb but on fire at the same time the cold and sting ripping through him he curled even farther into himself shoving his back harder into the shower’s corner hoping the sturdy wall behind him would offer some protection from the world around him as he gasped for air his mind going fuzzy. It was a good thing that Bucky and Steve were gone, he would have never been enough for them he would have only hurt them and torn them apart, they deserved better than him. They didn’t deserve to have to deal with his brokenness, they were better off having never met him.

Tony hadn’t even realized his movements until he saw the blood pouring down his arm, the razor blade in his hand as the fog cleared, he’d just needed to feel something else. Something besides the crushing weight of Ty on his chest, Ty’s hands on his hips, the pressure of his back to Ty’s chest, the scrap of the brick against his skin. The hand gripping onto his soulmark under his shirt, touching the smooth circle that he now knew without a doubt shouldn’t belong to him. He needed to feel a pain he could control, that he could wield, that he could inflict. He needed something to be his again, and right now the razor carving into his upper thigh was his. Something he could control. Over the years Tony found that the razor took off the edge just enough, not as much as whiskey did but enough to not pour himself that drink at 8 am, it let him wait til 11 instead sometimes noon or 1 pm if he was lucky. The slices he made weren’t deep enough to be completely permanent, thin white lines accumulating on his hips and thighs for a few months to a few years; Cyclamen flourishing under a blue tattered suit for before fading. The last flowers of the semi-permanent marks fading when Tony was in his thirties; the multitude of flowers that had bloomed over the years sets of flowers in the end were only defined by the last time Tony had sliced into his hip; the time he went too deep, Steve would only ever see one permanent line of Cyclamen.

After the shower Tony managed to force himself back down the hall to his room, Ty was still sprawled on his bed. Tony retreated for a moment before he steeled his nerves; he entered his room silently, collecting his clothes quickly before retreating back into the bathroom to change. He did not want to return to his room to return his clothes so he just wrapped the clothes he had slept in in his robe and walked to his lab. He immediately reset the code, then sent Professor Scobe the updated code, he pulled the blinds and got lost in his work for the next few days, only crashing to sleep on the couch for a few hours here and there before a bad dream jolted him awake. Insomnia became a standard for him, he couldn’t turn off his brain, he circumvented the ‘Schrodinger’ setting on his coffee pot by filling both sides of the machine with caffeinated coffee. He plunged into his studies. 36 and 60 hour work binges claimed him as he did anything he could to not think about the state he was currently in or the things that had happened to him over the last week. He got into the terrible habit of sleeping less than ever, and drinking coffee over food and to help him stay up. He only ever left his lab to eat food when absolutely necessary, but he took cat naps on the couch and drank coffee to mitigate his hunger. It was an appetite suppressant after all. He knew he needed to take better care of himself, Jarvis would have had a fit if he saw the habits and state of living Tony had fallen into, he made a note of it for his AI and the programming that he was creating, he wanted his AI to pay homage to the butler he grew up with who had cared about him since he was small, and that included keeping track of his food and sleep.

—————————February 1986

Tony packed as fast as he could, he tried to be in and out of his room as fast as possible. He bolted out as soon as he could, he never wanted to be in the room for longer than he needed to be. He started throwing clothes into the duffle with 5 minutes to spare before the car service pulled up. As soon as he could he slammed the door to the room and ran down the hall, breathing deeply, keeping his nerves under control. He was impressed with how well he was holding it together. He was only gone for the weekend but he knew he’d need to figure out a way to deal with his problems privately. He was in the public eye too much to be able to break down. It wasn’t allowed, Starks are not weak. The newspaper had somehow managed to obtain pictures of Ty and Tony together and had already been quick to match them together, something Tony despised even more than any other part of the story. He had to learn to hide, so far ‘no comment’ and hiding in his lab were suitable substitutes for the press, but eventually he would need to become better at deflecting.

As Tony got in the car he felt himself being pulled into the deepest and longest sleep he’d had since the beginning of the week on the car ride back to Manhattan. Tony was too tired to dream and that was something he was incredibly grateful for, he had woken up shaking and bolt upright far too many times this week for his liking. The scraps on his cheek were healing, Peonies growing fainter and fainter on gold Irish skin thousands of miles away.

Tony knew as the car stopped that this was going to be the hardest visit he’d ever have to endure, every other time, he had been with Jarvis, this was the first time Tony was truly on his own. Tony had just placed his bag in his room and was moving to the kitchen for a glass of water when he came face to face with Howard. A newspaper was slammed into his chest before he’d made it to the kitchen. “This is unacceptable,” Howard’s voice was low as Tony took the paper. 

He looked down and saw a dark blurry photo, he immediately knew what it was and who the two people in the archway were. He threw the paper down and shook his head “No, that’s-”

“I don’t care,” Howard sneered. “You did it, you caused the media circus, you slept with Ty Stone and you got caught. This media shit storm is your fault.”

“It wasn’t like that,”

“I. Don’t. Care.” Howard said again, jabbing Tony in the chest hard, each word enunciated with a jab.“You better hope news of what your mark is doesn’t come out of this. I will not have you and your sexual escapades as a minor no less, and ridiculous antics to vie for attention, ruining Stark Industries because the supposed Soulmate of Captain America is a God damned disaster case that wanted to get laid the night his childhood butler died. You have no respect Tony.” Howard marched out of the room with those words leaving Tony feeling smaller than he even had before. Tony took a few minutes before he set his shoulders and continued into the kitchen, he really hadn’t known what to expect for Howard, but he honestly hadn’t accounted for even Howard to sink so low as to blame him. He didn’t really know why he’d thought he’d get a different reaction now that it had happened, especially if there were pictures in the media. Tony had been careful to avoid everyone in the last week only moving around when the media wasn’t out and he was careful to maneuver between buildings underground so he didn’t have to deal with them. He’d heard the dull buzz uptick around him the few times he entered the dining hall so he knew something had been written but he didn’t feel the need to look into it, now he knew what it was. As he exited the kitchen he saw the newspaper that Howard had shoved into him on the ground. He bent down to look at it, the action was almost like watching his body work on its own, he wasn’t sure he wanted to see what Howard had gotten so upset by but his curiosity had taken over. He flipped over the paper, the same blurry dark photo with a yellow circle highlighting where Ty was shoving Tony into the wall of the student center. Ty was surprised at how calm he was as he looked at the front page, he set his jaw as he read the words, Exclusive Interview with Ty Stone about his relationship with Tony Stark and how it all came crumbling down. Tony now saw why Howard had lost it.

Tony ripped the newspaper open skimming through. Ty had dished on him going back to their time in boarding school. Tony kept reading, Ty had told about Tony’s petition to get out of Undergrad and straight into the Master’s programs. How Tony had been granted his own lab as a freshman and had immediately started to work on his projects with almost no supervision. Then came the part Tony had been dreading, ‘Why didn’t it work out?’ Ty cited that he was a traditionalist and that he’d been pursuing the relationship with Tony under the assumption that Tony like Howard didn’t have a soulmark, it had been a long known fact that Howard touted; ‘Starks didn’t have soulmarks’. When they had explored the more physical side of their relationship Ty had found that Tony did have a mark, and he couldn’t be a part of Tony’s deception and philandering, even though he didn’t know his soulmate Ty couldn’t be a part of that kind of behavior so he’d ended it. Tony hadn’t taken to it well and had started to be clingy until Ty had no choice but to physically restrain the boy until he realized he couldn’t toy with Ty anymore.

Tony saw red, Ty had spun the entire story around to make Tony look like the bad guy, the unhinged child. He’d taken Tony’s credibility along with his virginity that night, and even though deep down Tony knew revenge wasn’t healthy he couldn’t help it. Ty was going to answer for what he’d said, it may not be immediately but one day Tony was going to obliterate Ty Stone and Viastone and anything else Ty had. Ty would be paying Tony Stark back by the end of it all and he’d be paying with interest accounted for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Floriography
> 
> Hollyhocks - Ambition  
> Bellwort - Hopelessness   
> Amaranthus - Heartbreak  
> Cyclamen - Resignation  
> White Columbine - Foolishness  
> Peonies - Shame


	5. Chapter 5: Rose Rock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soft mentions of rape and past traumatic experiences. 
> 
> Thank you for all the comments and kudos. I love hearing from all of you!!

Chapter 5

\-------------------February 1986 - June 1987

Tony got back to MIT late the next Tuesday, he walked toward his lab instead of his dorm despite the late hour, he was still avoiding his dorm, the memory of Ty on top of him in his bed kept him clear of his room and the student center. He only would venture to his dorm every few days for a change of clothes and a shower. His eidetic memory was truly proving to be a curse, the perfect recall would haunt him whenever he would go back, even if it was just to change and shower, it was a struggle. He was finding other things to focus on slowly. But at the moment he was still avoiding his room at almost all costs, he had enough clothing in his bag to get through the next week in his lab so that was the current plan. He opened the door to the lab and froze, it was different, another desk was now in the room and behind it was a man in his very early twenties, he was asleep at the desk on top of his papers.

Tony stood there in the doorway and stared for a few seconds. His brain running a million miles an hour all of a sudden, who was this person, were they safe, why were they in the lab. Were they a student, had his dad hired someone to keep an eye on him? Were they an Agent? Tony had asked Peggy to help him with self-defense over the weekend, after what had happened. She had agreed but he knew she was curious as to why he wanted to learn now when in the past he’d never shown much interest, spycraft was her thing, well until now, now he had a lot of reasons to take an interest in her work. 

Tony managed to collect himself and his thoughts quickly, deciding that he would check his emails first then go on to call Howard or Aunt Peggy if needed. He maneuvered over to his computer turning it on, he kept to the side of the room, even turning his chair at his desk so he could keep a better eye on the other human in the room. He didn’t like this, he was still tender from his last close interaction with someone and now he would have to co-habitat with a stranger. Before he knew he would eventually have to share his space with another person, but now he wanted to be left alone more than ever. He wasn’t comfortable being around people, especially older students; they’d finally nailed it in that he couldn’t trust people.

Turning to his emails, Tony’s eyes landed on one from Professor Scobe, “Lab Share”. Opening the email quickly as the dial-up connection would allow, Tony read through the email. It was the work of MIT then, in response no doubt in part to the rumors of Tony getting special treatment from the papers, special treatment because he was a Stark. Tony had never asked for that and yet now that he was having his freedom of the lab infringed on too he was even more livid at the situation. He knew better than to cause a ruckus though it wasn’t Scobe’s fault or the new person in his lab either it was Ty. Tony felt his blood boil at the thought of his name, he’d turned his life so upside down in the matter of a week that Tony was still reeling. This new addition of a lab partner was just another line in the list of reasons Tony now had to take Ty and Viastone down. For now though, Tony had to play nice, and learn to share the same space as him for their work. Tony knew it was to mask the look of favoritism, but he still wasn’t happy about it. He had to be rational about this though before he did something stupid, Tony took a breath closed his eyes, and started the process of reasoning with himself, at 15 Tony had his own space while even some professors didn’t get their own private areas, so he’d been paired with another person. According to the professor’s email his new lab partner was mostly was dealing in theories and was working on their Aerospace Engineering degree, which did explain the lack of equipment in the room and why he just had a desk. James Rhodes was his name according to the email Tony had gotten and he was 6 years older than him. Tony could do this, he could work with someone else, especially if they were just there to do theoretical stuff. Tony could be in the same room as them but Tony also knew this was going to be tough, Tony couldn’t let himself care, he’d been hurt too badly the last time.

Taking a deep breath he set his shoulders, then began to open his other emails, he could be normal, he could. He realized in his previous browse through his email’s he’d only been looking for ones from Professor Scobe, now as he stared at the screen he saw the trend, somehow his school email had been taken over by emails from other students, and from the various media companies that wanted his reaction. The emails ranged from investigative questions to straight out threats of how dare he do that to Ty, accusations of favoritism, one even alleging that he had slept with the professor to get the independent lab spot, none of them even bothering to try and see his side or even seeming to consider he had earned his admission and lab spot due to his merit. He was slowly filtering through them, staring at the words, people he didn’t even know voicing their opinions on his life and what he was worth. He was about to click on to the next email when a voice cut in, “You don’t have to read them.” Tony took in a quick breath at the shock from hearing a new voice, he turned to the dark-skinned man who was yawning at the other desk. “Do you know anyone who sent those emails?” Tony shook his head, he’d met a few of them in passing but he had only really known Ty. “ Then their opinions don’t matter, do they. Just because they want to pull you down, doesn’t mean you have to let them. Trust me on this if anything, ignore and delete them and know that you’re spending your time doing more than they could ever hope to accomplish.”

“Sorry what?” Tony asked, looking over at the man who was now stretching, rolling his shoulders and neck. He was puzzled who was this guy and who did he think he was to be commenting on Tony’s life.

“You’re what 16?” he asked.

“Not yet” Tony grimaced. He hadn't even gotten the guy’s name yet, no he wasn’t gonna pay him any mind that was the plan, and that started with not giving him the time of day to even ask his name.

“Ok, so 15?” Tony nodded begrudgingly as he guessed the accurate age. “And based on what I’ve seen in this lab alone you’ve already designed a robot that listens to commands, a satellite that sends you back information and you’re working on getting more satellites online to create a mini station in space.” Tony just nodded along as he hit on his current projects that were spread out all over the lab covering all surfaces, including the floor. “Stop me if any of this is wrong, but it looks like you are also reworking an engine to allow for longer flight times using less fuel, based on some chemical reaction I’ve never seen anywhere but the potential energy output its capable of is impressive and could cut flight times in half if properly used, and you are worried about what a bunch of idiot teenagers who can’t figure out Integral Calculus have to say about you?” The other man challenged. 

“I- uh- well, I’ve never-” Tony stammered out, he was floored, who was this guy? Did he seriously just waltz into his lab and tell him to trust him? Tony immediately bristled at the idea, his own stubbornness starting to take over despite knowing full well that the advice he was getting was sound. Did he actually care about Tony and his well being? He’d never even met this guy and he was already giving him advice. Good advice at that.

“Delete them, it's not worth the energy to give them the time of day,” the older man encouraged.

“How would you know?” Tony asked his voice quiet as he looked at the boy across the room from him. James is impressed though the defensive bite is still there, even in the quiet the kid is challenging him, maybe he wasn’t as naive as he originally thought.

The boy smiled and then laughed “Damn, Seriously kid? Look at me I’m one of five African American’s on this campus,” He laughed outright and flopped back in his seat. “I’m the diversity kid, the one that when people see me they make themselves feel better by saying ‘I’m one of the ones that they had to let in’, they don’t even think for a second that I could have done it on my merit alone. And mind you they don’t say that to me for my peace of mind, no it's for theirs and theirs alone. They can’t even begin to admit that I might deserve to be here for anything other than my skin color. I’m not here for me, well not only for me it's a symbiotic relationship, and I know it. I’m here for them, so MIT can look progressive, but not too progressive, that’s why they shoved me in this basement with you. But you know what the jokes on them cause while I’m here I’m still getting an education and I’m still going to the school I chose to do it.” He was genuine as he chuckled and relaxed, smiling as he explained his perspective, and Tony had to admit it was a compelling one and a very very smart one, use them while they think that are using you. “I’ve been through this before, everywhere I go it's the same, people want to tear you down so they can make you feel as small as they do. You don’t have to listen to them. I’ve been there, Hell kid we are both there. We are both outcasts, but in opposite ways, no way to say either of us is getting special treatment if we are sequestered away. I know what they say, it’s what they always have said, now whether you meet their expectations and fail or rise above it and leave them in the dust is up to you.” the older of the two Master’s student’s said, with a shrug walking over to stand behind Tony “Now, take my advice and delete those, they aren’t gonna be of any use to you.” Tony nodded in agreement, he didn’t need them whoever this guy was; he was right. He deleted the emails that had racked up in the last week. “Now then come and talk me through this satellite you designed. I'm in Aerospace engineering and I really want to know what compound you used to overcome the heat created in getting out of the atmosphere.” The man said waving at the stuff strewn out around the lab.

Tony stood up moving next to the other man and started talking. He still maintained a distance from him, and the other man respected it, noticing just how jumpy Tony had gotten when he had gone to stand behind him, James quickly realized the story the papers were printing was far from the accurate one. He didn’t know the specifics, nor did he need to but seeing how slowly Tony opened up to him personally versus when he got talking about the technology in the lab, was a dead give away that the boy of fame and glory portrayed in the paper wasn’t the same person in real life. The teen was quiet, and determined, he was quick as a whip and got lost in the mechanics more often than not so he didn’t have to deal with people. It was a side he realized didn’t come out much, he only saw it in the lab, when Tony would start talking about the tech or his ideas. The ambition and drive the boy had to create and make the world better was something else, he’d never seen that lack of limit of anyone, it was like the kid had no idea that there were rules of the universe and in physics that he couldn’t break. Tony never seemed to mind those, he just found ways around the rules and made it work for him. But the second Tony wasn’t in the lab he changed, he shut down a cold wall taking its place on the boy’s face, he’d been hurt too many times to let the press or anyone else in. This was one special kid James realized, he’d been hurt, and yet he’d gotten back up dusted himself off, and kept going, and he was sure this wasn’t the first time the kid had needed to do so, he was too calculating of others for it to have been his first time.

April 1986

James found his theories about Tony Stark were correct over the next few months. The kid really needed someone in his corner but he didn’t know how to ask, he’d been hurt before and he wasn’t about to relive that, so James would have to earn it. Which is exactly what he did when he arrived at the lab a few months later and found a few kids trying to break in. James Rhodes wasn’t a small guy, but he also wouldn’t classify himself in any realm near scary, but it was 1986, he was at a predominantly white college and people had certain stereotypes they liked to pin on people. It was something he’d learned to deal with over the years and if those stereotypes happened to work in his favor James wasn’t about to go out of his way to correct them, at least not outright, if they couldn’t figure out the mixed signals, that was on them. “Excuse me, but may I inquire as to what you’re doing trying to break into my lab?”

One of the kids jumped, James barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes, freshmen, probably frat boys here on a dare. At least that would be his guess if the kid’s jumpiness and the frat sweatshirt were anything to go on. James almost had to laugh at the idiocy of the kid, a frat sweatshirt was honestly the last thing he should have worn to start mischief. Because now James knew exactly what frat he belonged to, it was never a good idea to invoke the wrath of the greek system; they had their rules and they were sticklers for them. If this turned into anything big, James would enjoy watching the fall out from the kid’s stupidity. “Oh shit! Oh uh sorry uh we must have the wrong lab.” the kid stuttered backing up.

“Well, who are you looking for?” James asked with a small soft smile, he knew most of the others on the floor “Maybe I can point you in the right direction.” he offered, he had to admit he wasn’t exactly playing fair, he’d seen the lock pick in the guy’s hand, he knew they were trying to get into their lab not someone else’s. 

“I- We. Um, we were; nothing, no one. Nevermind it isn’t important” the kid babbled nervously the others in the group also backed up.

“Which is it, nothing or no one, cause neither of them have a lab down here,” James said with a wicked smile curling on his lips, standing up tall setting his shoulders as he starred the kids down. “So why don’t you try again.”

“Uh we were looking for Tony Stark,” one of the others admitted, in defeat.

“See that wasn’t so hard. This is the correct lab. We share it.” James said, his lip quirking up, a knowing smile slipping onto his face, the kids had just walked into a trap of their own making.

“Wait, your lab?” The kid went pale on the realization that he had just been caught red-handed trying to break into the lab of a much older grad student by that grad student.

“Our lab, Tony and I share the space,” James said again challenging them, he knew they weren’t supposed to be here, Tony was the only freshman in two decades to be given a lab and there was no way these freshmen would understand anything in the lab. “What are you looking for?” James asked.

The kids all shared a look before nodding curtly to James “I, uh, um, never mind, we need to get going, sorry for the bother.” the kids said before booking it down the hall past him. James looked up as they scuttled past him, Tony was at the other side of the hall staring at him wide-eyed, watching the frat boys runoff.

Tony hustled forward once the door to the stairs behind James clicked closed, he quickly typed in the code for their lab and ducked inside, James following “Tony what was that?”

“Oh, that? Uh, nothing.” he shrugged, kicking his foot out at the table leg absently.

“That sure as hell didn’t look like nothing Tony,” James said pointing at the door. “Those kids were trying to get into the lab.”

“Yea, it's nothing new,” Tony admitted. “Lab, Quad, Dining Hall they always find me somewhere.”

“Nothing new?” James’ eyebrow raised when he heard that what the hell was that supposed to mean “You’re telling me having people try to break into our lab to rough you up is a normal occurrence?”

“No, that’s not the only thing,” Tony said dismissively, why was he saying as much as he was, he didn’t need to share this. “I don’t worry about it. They never get in anymore,” Tony shrugged, “Besides my Aunt has been giving me some self-defense lessons, I’m not gonna be helpless,” Tony hissed before quietly adding, “Not again.”

Rhodey frowned gritting his teeth, “Seriously Tony, you should have told me sooner.” he said coming over to lean on the table next to him, “You’re the only friend I have here and what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t stand up to some idiotic frat boys for you.”

Tony’s eyes shot up, half panic, half confusion on his face, “What?”

“Tony that’s what friends are for, we stand up for each other, so you need to tell me if those boys are giving you trouble,” James said, clapping down on Tony’s shoulder. 

Tony nodded slowly realizing that he was ok with his lab partner having his back, he’d never pressured him, he’d only helped, he’d never even minded when the things Tony said went over his head, “Ok, I’ll let you know next time.” Tony said sheepishly nodding “It's normally a thing that they try to do on Thursday’s break-in and take something, it's a game to them.”

“Have they ever gotten in?”

“Only once, they knocked and I opened the door, after that, I’ve just hidden when they come by or make sure I'm not in the lab,” Tony admitted.

James clapped Tony on the shoulder, “That’s good to know, next time, we’ll both be here, I doubt they’ll give you much trouble if it's the both of us.” James said with a smile.

Tony was quiet for a second before he spoke up, “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Promise not to laugh.”

“Uhh sure,” James said looking at the teen, wondering where this was going Tony was known to change subjects pretty quickly and drastically so this question could be coming out of left field.

“I know that isn’t exactly the most polite, but I’m not the best with names-” Tony trailed off feeling his face heat as he cautiously admitted that he didn’t know James’ name.

James just smiled rolling his eyes, he’d known Tony didn’t know his name, the exclusive use of Bud, Buddy, or Hey man, and even once he’d said Dude had given that away a long time ago. “It's James Rhodes.” the older of the two said holding out his hand.

Tony nodded accepting his hand “Hi, uh I’m Tony Stark.”

“It's good to meet you, Tony, officially at least,” he said with a smile.

“You too Rhodey.”

\---------------------- October 1986

He never quite realized how bad it was till the next Fall when he was working late; Tony had dozed off on the couch only to start twisting and turning in his sleep and moaning as he tossed and turned. James moved over to wake the boy when Tony woke with a jump and a yell, shoving himself backwards into the couch arm and back curling into a ball. “Tony, hey you ok?” James asked Tony just shook his head no frantically. “I’m gonna sit by you ok.” he waited for Tony to nod before he sat down. Tony watched him warily for a few moments “It's ok to need someone Tones, we all need someone sometimes.”

“Last time I needed someone I ended up in the papers,” Tony mumbled out, still eyeing him.

Rhodey nodded acknowledging Tony’s retort. “We don’t have to leave this lab,” James held out his arm inviting Tony in for a hug.

Tony pitched back even farther away, staring at the open arms like they were going to electrocute him. Rhodey caught on dropping his arms. Tony took a breath and swallowed hard “I’m sorry. I have ah, it's just well. I, I, Oh god how do I say this?”

“Take your time Tones,” Rhodey said, waiting patiently next to Tony on the couch.

“I have a soul mark.” Tony blurted out, waiting for Rhodey to say something.

James was completely confused, “Ok and what does that change?”

“You don’t care?”

“Why would I, I have one too. But do you mind telling me why you think that you or I having a soulmate would change your mind about accepting a hug?”

“You do?”

“Yes, but soul mates are who we find when we’re ready, and if they truly are my other half then they would understand when one of my best friends needs a hug.”

Tony relaxed, moving to James’ side and collapsing into the other man’s side. “Thank you Rhodey.” 

“Don’t mention it, Tony. Now care to explain why you felt the need to tell me you have a soulmate before you accepted a hug?”

“The last guy I accepted a hug from didn’t take that knowledge very well, he was very very Old School, didn’t even have a mark.”

Rhodey didn’t push the subject anymore, having already pieced together enough of that story for his blood to start boiling at the insinuation of Ty. “Soulmates are meant to fit together, no one gets to judge that relationship but you Tony.”

“I won’t have the chance.”

“What does that mean Tony?”

“They are dead,” Tony said as his gangly body curled against the older boy. 

“Oh, Tony I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s ok, I’ve known for a while now. It’s why I hide my mark, I don’t want to deal with the questions or people pretending to be my Soulmate, not when I already know they aren’t alive.”  
Rhodey rubbed the younger boy’s back gently lulling him back to sleep, Rhodey had learned a lot about the boy in the short amount of time they had been hanging out in the same room and he’d become fiercely protective of him over the last 6 months. Tony was a very interesting character, over the time Rhodey had learned that he had a horrible relationship with Howard, never actually calling him his Father unless it was sarcastic. He’d watched Tony at age 15 starting to build up wall after wall of facades around him, he played to the media circus that was his life, yet he always somehow maintained control of the narrative that they would swing. It was calculated, how could it not have been Tony was one of the smartest people in the world. He played the drugged-out party boy, only to coming hideaway in his lab and work from sunup to well after the sun went down. He tried to always be in control, if he said it first or ‘did it’ before they could pin it on him then he wasn’t susceptible to the words and the stories they created about him it was a slippery slope.

Rhodey quickly learned that not being self-aware and in control was Tony’s greatest fear, it was a level of cognition and ownership that he was terrified of, taking claim had some nasty attachment issues, so instead of letting Howard or the press say it first and stamp the lowest seal of approval on him possible he would do it on his own, he owned being a despicable human in the worst way, cause he would control the narrative if he owned his weaknesses they couldn’t use them first. It was childish and immature and lost the respect of most of the nation but he would control that free fall all the way into the ground. It gave him control of the situation, he could spin his narrative, the naive, party boy, too smart for his own good, too much money. The man-whore who supposedly had a soulmate, even though no one had ever seen proof of that soul mark. Ty had said it was on his torso in the interview while describing his and Tony’s interactions. Tony was smarter than Ty gave him credit for, he was even more careful when going out, never going out without the nanites to cover it and all his other scars. Tony was also smart, surreptitiously getting ‘caught’ without his shirt and then without his pants just for good measure and to rub it in the press’ face. Rhodey was impressed and he would be the first person to admit that Tony was a genius. He was smart in his tactics, swaying and falling over himself while in the sights of the camera, forcing Rhodey to catch him, but the second they were behind closed doors and the cameras couldn’t see him he was back to walking straight. Wandering hands and slurring words would halt almost like he’d flipped a switch as he turned the corner out of view, then Tony was all business and ready to go in the lab. Rhodey was still very aware that Tony was using drugs, but that didn’t stop him from trying to intervene when he saw it, the coke in his desk had been flushed at least 8 times and he’d found more hidden bottles of scotch than he’d care to admit the 16-year-old could have ever gotten a hold of but that never stopped Tony from being brilliant.

The media, in turn, was brutal after all he was Tony Stark if they wanted to make him out to be a spoiled brat who only wanted to be the center of attention he had no problem helping them spin the tail. No one had to know it wasn’t real. Rhodey saw the masks he created, he was the only person Tony dropped them around. Rhodey however got a front-row seat to seeing Tony cultivate the person the media saw vs the person he actually was. He had made it to where everyone discounted him, no one took him seriously and no one ever thought he would amount to what he aspired to be, and Tony didn’t care. It gave him breathing room and took away the pressure of being Howard’s son.

James watched the creation of The Tony Stark and the image that he would portray to the rest of the world. He was lucky to be behind the masks and wall, Tony managed to slowly trust Rhodey, giving him multiple nicknames over the year and a half they shared a lab. The nicknames were something that for Tony would become a knee jerk reaction later in life, it was his way of remembering people, and it was also a power move something he'd learned from his father to give himself the upper hand in his interpersonal relationships. With his friends and people, he liked those little names were terms of endearment, friendship, and trust. 

Tony looked up from the book he had been reading, Rhodey had given it to him for his birthday last year, Howl’s Moving Castle. “Rhodey-bear?”

“Yes, Tony?” Rhodey asked not looking up from his stack of papers he was grading.

It took Tony a few seconds to respond, “Have you ever had to deal with knowing you’re responsible for someone’s death?” he asked, Rhodey immediately put down the pen he was using to grade.

“Tony where is this coming from?”

Rhodey looked over at Tony, he wasn’t making eye contact instead he was staring off into space, his gaze unfocused as he looked right past Rhodey. “When I was four I was playing with a circuit board in Howard’s office and I fixed it. It was used in the line of rockets and missiles the Military used at the end of the Vietnam War. If I hadn’t fixed it that new navigation system wouldn’t have worked, I fixed it and it was used to kill people.”

“Tony, Stark Industries manufactures weapons, they would have found a way to get those rockets to work with or without you.”

“Yea but it would have taken them longer, not as many people would have died.” Tony’s eyes focused back in pinning Rhodey in his chair.

Rhodey nodded thoughtfully before answering, making sure to choose his words carefully. “Tony you can’t know that for sure, you built a circuit board cause you were interested, that’s what kids do, they are curious. You can’t blame yourself for what people did with the circuit board, that isn’t your fault, it's on the adults and the people who used your curiosity for their own gains.” Rhodey said from his desk.

“No, but what about when Stark Industries are the ones making the weapons.” Tony asked, “That’s my family and the legacy I’m stepping into.” Tony wasn’t sure he was correct on that, he still wasn’t sure if Howard saw him as a viable successor for Stark Industries. He had definitely threatened to cut Tony off multiple times and had all but told him he would have to earn Stark Industries, he wasn’t just going to hand it off to him because they shared DNA. Tony bit the inside of his bottom lip, worrying it between his teeth.

Rhodey watched Tony carefully, this was clearly a reoccurring concern, and one that was obviously weighing on him more heavily than he liked to generally show. “You are keeping people safe, Tones you didn’t invent War, people did that long before you were born. You can keep this country safe and its troops, you have always held the military in a special place. Hell, I’m even starting to think about joining, the way you talk about the military, and if I do I wouldn’t want anyone but you making the weapons that will be protecting me out there.” Rhodey said watching Tony inquisitively, he’d known the boy had a heavy burden, while so many people thought he didn’t care that it really was the exact opposite. Tony cared too much. 

Over the time they spent together between when Rhodey moved into the same lab as Tony to when they graduated Rhodey learned that Tony was a hard person to connect with. He had watched attempt after attempt, with almost every person being shut down. When he asked why Tony was so guarded he always had a reason, Tony quickly made it obvious that Rhodey was the only person he saw as a friend. Rhodes also saw first hand how people treated him, they were sweet to his face but the second his back was turned they were bad-mouthing him and who they thought he was. Rhodes had punched more than one person for trash-talking Tony after Tony had been nothing but kind to them. Tony however was still learning what it meant to be a friend though, it was a slow process but he finally figured out that it was best explained that a friend is someone who is there for you for all the ups and downs and helps you through the hard times and stands up for you despite what everyone else may say. It wasn’t an easy task for Tony but he was learning and the day before graduation he showed Rhodey that no matter what he was stuck with the crazy genius cause Tony had picked Rhodey to be his friend.

They had gone to a house party together, well more like Tony had dragged Rhodey along, Rhodey wasn’t a fan of parties, especially not the ones that were in the hills, Tony and him had grown up in a very different way. Not that Rhodes ever held it against him but Tony was immediately judged as the rich white boy genius while for him many a person couldn’t look past his own skin color. The house parties were always the ones the Rhodey would feel the most uncomfortable at, and Tony at 17 still was young and didn’t quite understand the situation Rhodey was in when they would walk in. But this was the one time Tony stayed closer, and he did notice how Rhodey was treated and watched, how he was shut out, and talked down to even though he was easily one of the smartest guys in the room. He wasn’t on Tony’s level but he did understand enough to have a conversation with Tony about things, and he knew what to ask. Tony appreciated Rhodey as a friend and when he noticed a group of frat boys getting in Rhodey’s face for nothing more than leaning on the breakfast bar of the house attempting to relax. It was at that moment Tony decided it was time he was there for Rhodey too, he could shut people down and get them to back off just as much as Rhodey could. They would have each other's backs. Tony popped up next to Rhodey throwing his arm over his shoulder as the frat boys closed in. “Hey Sour Patch, you know this is a party you’re supposed to be having fun.” Tony looked at Rhodey ignoring the others his back to them as he spoke, it was one of the few times he felt perfectly safe, over the last year he had Aunt Peggy’s self-defense training very seriously, and he had Rhodey who he knew had some ability to defend himself. Tony knew it was the last few weeks he’d get with Rhodey, at least based on the papers he’d seen on his desk he was shipping out to the Air Force just after graduation. He wanted Rhodey to know he still had his back and he always would as a friend and while he was in the Air Force.

“Hey, Stay out of this!” One of the frat boys snapped at him.

Tony didn’t turn away to even acknowledge the others still focusing on his friend “Rhodey-bear are they giving you a hard time?” Tony asked, inciting an eye roll from Rhodes.

“Only as much as ever.” he bit out giving Tony an exasperated look.

“Hey, I said stay out of this!” The guy said placing his hand on Tony’s shoulder to pull him back, the second his hand touched Tony was grabbing it and spinning forcing the arm to turn with him driving the frat boy to his knees. 

“Or you can stay out. Actually, I like that idea better, you leave and I will hang out here with my friend.” Tony said looking at all of them, smiling as he saw the recognition flicker across their faces. The stammering apology spilled from their mouth as they scrambled to collect themselves.

Tony and Rhodey stood shoulder to shoulder as the frat boys scattered back into the party, “Thanks Tones.” Rhodey said looking over at Tony

“Don’t mention it, you’re my friend that means I have your back.” Tony said with a smile “Besides I’ll have to step up the Stark weapons when you head out so I can make sure you’re safe.” Tony said with a smile as Rhodey clapped Tony on the shoulder with a smile.

“How did you know about that?” Rhodey asked “I haven’t even made a final decision yet.” he said, baffled by how relaxed Tony was about it.

It was Tony’s turn to roll his eyes “Please Rhodey, don’t play coy, you’ve been drooling over the Air Force since we met. Actually, I think I’d be more shocked if you didn’t.” Rhodey just shook his eye and chuckled looping his arm around the boy who had finally stopped looking like he was completely out of place in the college world, just in time for his graduation.

\-------------------------- October 1987- November 1991

Tony had hoped it would be that easy but when he graduated. In his mind, he would graduate and then start learning how the inner workings of Stark Industries. Howard however had other plans, he put Tony into Research and Development, telling him 17 was still too young to start learning the business. Tony wasn’t one to just lie down and accept anything though so he asked to be stationed in a remote office overseas so he could work from England. Tony took that opportunity to go for his MBA and doctorate in Computer Programming at Oxford while he worked on the Research and Development side for Stark Industries. He learned quickly more and more about programming and Business. He kept his promise to Rhodey to make sure the weapons that SI was producing were the best yet, he was going to have Rhodey’s back even if he physically couldn’t be there, even sending Rhodey a prototype of his own design once or twice, just to make sure he was safe.

Tony completed his MBA in the following years and in the process he had made numerous connections in the world, his name opened doors and he took full advantage of that fact. Howard may have locked him out on the outside but Tony wasn’t going to be deterred, he was resourceful, and he wanted to learn, he had a company to learn from at his fingertips he may as well learn from it. He slipped into the company’s inner workings in the backside through the servers to stay up to date with what was going on, even sending Howard and email every once in a while to toss his opinion in and flaunt that he was still smart enough to know what was going on even from his place on the outside and overseas. Tony was shocked though whenever Howard listened to him and took his suggestions, not that he was ever given credit but Tony was used to that with Howard at this point.

It was in those years that he learned how to be a better friend even if the only person he truly let in and saw as a true friend was Rhodey, he still cultivated relationships with people for business purposes. He also noticed that was kept out of the loop for most of the new inventions Stark Industries created, he was given other projects in the R&D department whether that was of Howard’s doing or someone else he wasn’t sure. It never stopped him from knowing that he was being left out though, his backdoor access to the company kept him well informed. Whenever he would email it always seemed like Howard was more than willing to talk shop and was almost excited that Tony was showing interest in the family business, even if he was just troubleshooting designs. Tony was slowly proving to have an interest in the weapons they made and was making them even more effective.

Tony continued to work on his computer programs updating the AI Interface that he was creating, constantly updating it to account for just about anything he could think of that he would want from a true learning interface system, especially if it was one that would be helping him run his life. He wanted Just A Rather Very Intelligent System or J.A.R.V.I.S. to be beneficial to him and that meant setting the parameters in his code, anything from telling him the weather, to telling him his schedule even if necessarily reminding him to eat. He wanted a system that would help him run things and solve problems at the same time. A system that could run calculations that he needed to outsource, while also ordering him takeout or making him dinner reservations. Or even run programs that normally would have occupied his time he could now multitask by using but AI. He taught it how to code and how to break into systems. He thought out any calculations that J.A.R.V.I.S may need and put them into the code as well and even gave it parameters for its function you knew better than to give it a task that was obsolete. He knew if science-fiction had taught him anything, giving an AI a purpose was a good start, and then giving the AI some free will within the parameters of that purpose. That would take out the evil AI possibility, if science fiction was anything to go off of, the doomsday self-aware rogue AI was almost always the result of giving the AI the base task of something too large or impossible.

The limits of Tony’s multi-tasking abilities were put to the test in those years, he continued to study computer programming at Oxford remaining at the top of his class in the MBA and Doctorate programs. He was ahead of every deadline for the projects that he was working on for Stark Industries in their Research and Development department, including the ones he was troubleshooting on the back end through emails with Howard. Then after all of that at the end of the day, he still maintained his bravado of being a party boy, keeping up the facade as he worked hard behind the scenes. He found that his sexual experiences both true and untrue were detailed in many of the morning papers gossip pages, he didn’t understand it, people’s obsession with wanting to hear about his sex life, and what he did to relax at the end of a long week. But each time he went out he always seemed to find someone who was willing, they’d flirt and he’d obliged, he’d learned over the years that it was easier if he just said yes to them. He knew it hurt less when he did, they were left happy and he was free to sneak out the door and walk away to the flashes of a camera. He found that it was easier, he could hold on to at least some of the power if he agreed. They couldn’t take what he was willingly giving, and he did have to admit it was a fantastic stress reliever now that he had some say in the interactions. 

Tony had slowly come to realize that he wasn’t good at relationships, romantic or otherwise, he was actually terrible at them. He wasn’t a person that shared well or opened up easily but he didn’t enjoy the escape of another person and being intimate with them, it was a release for him, another tool in his long list of things he could use to ground himself. Yet another reason he was glad that Steve and Bucky were dead, he would never be fit for a relationship, he had too many scars and too many flaws, he was possessive and stubborn, and none of those things boded well in any partnership. So he resigned himself to knowing that all he would ever be stuck with, all he’d ever get would be meaningless nights and stolen moments of bliss that always weighed heavy on him in the aftermath. He always felt guilty about what he’d done on his way home, and he knew he wasn’t a good person for what he was doing. He couldn’t even bring himself to look at his Soulmark anymore, he kept himself well covered, he’d created two housing devices for the nanites, that way if one was charging he had a backup. The only time he ever didn’t have them on now was in the shower, and even then he never looked he washed by feel, he didn’t need to look down at his scared and marked body. He wasn’t comfortable with people getting too close, he couldn’t bring himself to look at his own body, why would he ever let someone else get that close. 

Quickly Tony realized that he had an internal clock of how long he could deal with people, he never stayed the night, he rarely brought the girl or guy back home with him, too hard to control when they left. He wanted to be able to leave when he wanted to and stay as long as he felt the obligation and never a moment more. For more physical engagements he could do a week, but any more than that and they were too close, or they would let it slip that he wasn’t where their interests actually were. For the ones that ended up on the friendly side of things he didn’t have a set time limit, but he was always on guard, he was always waiting for that other shoe to drop. He knew there was never any way that they liked him, no they liked his status or his money, but seldom him. He’d seen it enough by the time he was 21 to know the difference, who was there for him, and who was there for the money or the name or the camera or just a date. The ones that just wanted a good time he was more accommodating to keep around longer than the ones who just wanted their 15 minutes in the headlines or his money. His Mother still was a socialite and had taught him well about that side and what to look for and avoid.

However, over the years in England, he did find that he took a lot for granted, as he observed the world and how it treated him versus how it treated Rhodey in their distance. Seeing just how out of touch his upbringing made him to the struggles of those in real life. It was those interactions that made him start looking into side projects to help the general population, but SI wanted nothing to do with them whenever he mentioned them to Howard so he kept them private. “That’s not what Stark Industries is in the business of Tony if you want to do that do it on your own.” SI only saw those projects as distractions from the money makers, the weapons, it was a risk and it would mean not as many weapon sales to the board. Tony found that he could look into the projects and companies on the side and help fund the ones he liked. Do it on your own Howard said, well then, Tony would do just that. Money wasn’t a problem for him, he didn’t have a board that he had to appease, because while he didn’t see the issue in trying to help people the board did, their greed drove the company and its products and interests.

It was yet another thing Tony didn’t get, how they could be so wrapped up in money that they didn’t want to help the world around them, how they didn’t want to make it better. Howard got it though. It wasn’t him who explained it to Tony though it was Aunt Peggy “It's ‘cause you were born into money, Tony” Peggy had told him “You never had to sell your soul to break that glass ceiling like Howard had to”. Yet he understood now he had the ability to not worry about that, his family’s fortune gave him a cushion to fall back on, he didn’t speak from a position of need. So he started to invest on his own, he would do his own research and go find the companies he wanted to know more about and then he’d send in a secretary of sorts to meet and ask questions. He’d be listening in, he was smart about being anonymous in his investments he knew if word got out, every company would come knocking on his door and he didn’t want a sales pitch, he wanted to see what they had to offer first. Find the people that wanted to make the world a better place, not the ones that just wanted the money or the Stark name as an investment. That was his preferred method when it came to picking where he invested money especially when the money he invested went through the Rogers Jarvis Buchanan Carter (RJBC) Foundation he had started. No one knew he was behind it, well almost no one, he was pretty sure Aunt Peggy knew the foundation was his doing especially when he started funding programs to help female soldiers and started funding Immigration programs for soulmates and Veterans programs to help soldiers resettle into civilian life. If those programs didn’t make it obvious then the funding for cancer and heart disease research sure had.

During his visit for Thanksgiving she had immediately swept him into a hug, he asked what it was for. She hadn’t answered directly, just kissed his forehead and said it was- “because of the choices he was making, he was finally coming into his own and showing where his heart was.” After Thanksgiving he returned to England, he was in the final months of his Ph.D. in Computer Science. It was a difficult task to manage school and the foundation on top of the ever-expanding lists of projects for himself. On the flight back he decided to go through with the idea he’d only been toying with so far. He was going to start up his own company to do what the Stark Industries Board of directors were too scared to do; change the world. He was Tony Stark and he was going to aim for the stars, he had the name and the money to be able to change the world so that was exactly what he would do. If he could make Aunt Peggy proud then in turn it would stand to reason that she would be proud of him by proxy for Steve and Bucky. When he landed he called a classmate from the MBA program, Candice, they sat up late into the night running over the details. She wasn’t new to the RJBC Foundation, she’d been helping him get the paperwork in order to start his own company using the RJBC format if he ever decided to for a while now. He was planning to bring in all the projects he’d funded through the foundation to create a Conglomerate, a think tank company that would have its fingers in all areas of innovation. He was proud of the business he was starting and knew he could follow through with it, his Aunt encouraged and supported his different way of thinking from Howards. If it had made her proud, then hopefully on some level it would have made his soulmates proud too and that was a cause and company he could stand behind. He was hoping to launch the company in January, or by February at the latest. He was hoping to talk to Howard about his ventures that upcoming week when he was home for Christmas and the New Year. 

—————————— December 1991

Howard was walking down the hallway of S.H.I.E.L.D. towards the elevator from the lab he’d just exited, he’d finally managed to recreate the serum Erskine had used on Steve, with the notes Zola had left him before he died. He’d just got off the phone with Fury, a level 9 Agent who was working at the Triskelion in DC he had arranged for a joint task force to meet him at the Pentagon just before Christmas to start work on finding and training a new group of super soldiers. He had been very specific in who he wanted on the force to help from S.H.I.E.L.D. knowing that both Agent Coulson, Pierce, and Fury would take the job seriously, especially with Pierce leading it. The Deputy Director was a surefire pick and Fury was a smart man who had followed every bit of advice Carter had dished out to him, and both of them had recommended Coulson as the final member. He knew none of them would back down from a confrontation with an Army General just as Erskine had never let Colonel Phillips bully him into the soldier over the good man. He was about to disappear into the elevator when a voice halted him “Howard, we need to talk.”

Howard spun around and walked back to the room he’d just passed “Ah yes Carter” He asked. “What can I do for you?”

“Not here Howard, my office now.” She said pointedly, her eyes darting to the sides, he knew what she had was for his ears only. She’d told him the other day that she’d been looking into some odd activity in the Middle East lately, she said they had technology that she never would have thought they would be capable of making on their own and she wanted his opinion on it.

“Carter I have a board meeting in 30 minutes then I have to get ready for that trip to the Pentagon,” Howard said, even as he followed her down the hall to her office. 

“I’ll be as quick as possible, but we need to talk and No Howard it can not wait.”

“Really Carter? How seriously can it be?” Howard asked his eyebrows knitting together. He knew she wasn’t normally one for the dramatics but he had already had a long day and that was before the board meeting. Board meeting days almost always turn into drinks and a cigar with Obadiah, his day was only getting longer.

She looked both ways before leaning in and whispering in his ear, “It’s about Hydra,” she pulled away giving him a pointed look. “So you coming?”

Howard’s eyes bugged out, suddenly nothing else seemed important “I’m on your heels Peg.” There were very few things that could make Howard drop everything, but one of the things that could was anything that involved Hydra. Howard grabbed Peg’s phone when they got to her office calling his secretary “Hey Yvette, yea I’m gonna have to push the directors meeting back,” He clapped a hand to the receiver “How long Peg?” She shrugged and pointed at the stack of files in front of her. “Push it back to 6:30… I don’t care if we have to buy them all dinner, a box of cigars and a bottle of scotch to make it happen, this is important.” He hung up and sighed “well that’s gonna cost a pretty penny,”

Peggy just rolled her eyes “You say that like a penny means anything to you.”

“Seriously Peg we’ve been over this, I didn’t grow up rich. I remember what a penny is and how I had to pinch them and save them to get by, something that my family now will never need to know the struggle of.” Howard quipped back giving her a sour look.

“True Tony never has known the difficulties of being short on money, but he has seen the same absentee father that you did.”

“Ya know what Peg I didn’t come in here to get lectured by you about my kid.”

“I know you didn’t but he turned out to be a good one despite everything.” Peggy sat down behind her desk pulling out a bottle of sparkling water for them. Howard looked at her like she was nuts. She only rolled her eyes at him. “We are going to be talking about some pretty serious things Howard booze will only slow us down, and you already had to postpone your meeting.” Howard nodded in consent accepting the water.

“I know that too, he’s been keeping tabs on Stark Industries even overseas, he’s been working for our R and D department while doing his Ph.D. and MBA at Oxford.” Howard relented with a smirk his kid was finally starting to come into his own.

“I’ve seen, he’s also doing a great job with his foundation.” She said challenging Howard’s smirk with one of her own.

He just nodded “Yea he has, he’s gonna change the world one day.” Howard nodded his agreement “I’m actually half waiting for him to tell me about turning that foundation into his own company, and do for the world what I couldn’t do with Stark Industries. What I can’t do since we can’t get out of the weapons business. You know the reason we founded S.H.I.E.L.D.”

Peggy nodded then challenged him again. “So if you’re so proud of Tony why is Stane still listed on your will as the one to get CEO and half of your assets if you die?”

Howard groaned “Really Peg?”

“It’s an honest question Howard.” she lobbied back at him, making him answer.

“You really wanna know why?” She nodded. “Because I haven’t updated it in two years”

“Do it tonight, before you leave base” Peggy said.

“Why, you think I’m gonna die here soon?” Peggy didn’t answer, she just held out the phone for him again which only scared him more. “Peg what aren’t you saying?”

“When I show you this I think you’ll know why I said what I did.” She said nodding to the stack of files. He eyed her wearily before taking the phone and dialing his lawyer.

He set the appointment to get the changes in the document signed and notarized on the way into the office that night. He hung up and then looked at Peggy. “Don’t look at me like that Peg.”

“Like what?” she questioned.

“Like you’re judging me.”

“I’m not judging you Howard, I did that years ago when we were still with the SSR.”

It was Howard’s turn to roll his eyes, “Never mind, let's get started then what have you found Peg?” Howard asked, accepting the first folder that she handed him. Neither one knew that just outside the door a pair of feet had stopped when they heard both of their voices inside the office. Someone who was now listening in on the conversation that was taking place inside the director’s office. Howard opened the file to see a picture of his company’s financial records. “Seriously Peg, why the hell do you have a record of my companies sales for the last” he flicked through “5 years, Jesus Christ Peg, what the hell are you playing at right now. This could be taken for industrial espionage. How did you get it?”

Peggy just rolled her eyes “I swear to God Howard if you would shut your mouth for one bloody second I’d be able to tell you what is going on! And Yvette gave them to me because I asked.” She sniped back with a glare daring him to open his mouth again. He scowled but kept his mouth closed even now knowing better than to open it against the Brit. “Okay then, look at the records, cause last I checked between 1987 and 88 your cash flow has increased substantially.” He looked at the two years she wasn’t wrong, the increase had been over the normal growth parameters he’d been seeing. “And the amount you wrote off as an unusable product decreased as well.” His eyes narrowed, it had from over 50 million to barely 5 million. “And that difference is now seen in a new column of New Asset Acquisitions.” She looked at him, “Howard do you see what I’m seeing here?” He nodded.

He set his jaw and looked through the other pages, then looked up at her meeting her gaze, “Our trash and disassembly budgets also dropped. While our distribution charges went up. Like shipping overseas kind of increases.” He shook his head and dropped the papers back into the folder. Looking up at her his face was now deadly serious. “Someone is double-dealing Stark weapons under the table, I’m willing to bet it's not the good ones though, the military gets all of those, but the ones that don’t pass my 100% guarantee that it’ll work. I inspect every single shipment myself and if it isn’t made right I don’t give it to the government. It’s only one or two in every 50 but still, that adds up. Normally to about 50 million.”

Peggy just nodded, “Those weapons are starting to show up in Russia and in the Middle East. They have been working hand in hand with the opposition, I don’t know if they know it yet, but they are dealing with Hydra.”

“Do you know who it is?” Howard asked knowing Peggy had probably done most of the research for this herself and he wasn’t about to let her off the hook when he knew she had more information.

“Seriously Howard, what do you take me for? An amateur? Of course, I know, it’s Stane, and he’s dealing with Hydra who has been slowly growing their ranks back up from inside this very organization we built. Now I don’t believe he knows it's Hydra he’s selling too but they have been working within S.H.I.E.L.D. for quite some time now. Zola started it when we brought him in.”

“How in the blue blazes did we not see it then?” Howard snarled “we’ve kept a close eye on them.”

“Howard calm down, I’m as mad as you are, but let's face it Zola wasn’t monitored 24/7, this is on both of us. You know as well as I do that we owe it to Steve, Barnes, and all the Commandos to deal with it now. Besides they aren’t as out in the open as they were in the war. They’ve shifted their tactics into a different style and strategy. They were never easy to track, and they have been laying low for quite a while, they shifted into a long game. It’s completely different from the short game we saw in World War 2. From what I can tell though they’ve got a new focus, they are working on destabilizing the world, taking out regimes and people, they are responsible for the drug wars in South America, they took out Kennedy, and they are the ones currently behind the current Middle East crisis. Hell Howard, they’ve even laid a few blows on Tony. They set him up with the Zero-Matter packet, and that debacle from MIT he was the victim of, they were the ones that set Tony up, they are buying up Media companies and Tech companies faster than anyone else, they are spending huge amounts of money towards lobbying and gaining intelligence on other countries. They heaven have politicians in their pocket now. S.H.I.E.L.D. has been harboring the Intelligence and Science sides of Hydra for the last 20 years Howard.”

“And you’re just now telling me?” Howard glared across the desk at her, “That serum is finally finished and you are just now deciding to tell me that Hydra is back, you see the coincidence here right?” Peggy nodded even as Howard continued obviously on edge now that he knew they were so close to home “Peg, they’ve been after this serum for longer than even the SSR was, they created the original! Not that it didn’t have side effects, like turning a man’s skull the color of blood, but they still have been attempting to get their hands on this for years, and we now have a working shot at it and you’re telling me now they are back!” Howard yelled.

“Howard keep your voice down, I literally just told you they are in S.H.I.E.L.D. and your big mouth starts to yell about it, for goodness sake Stark be as smart as you claim to be. Besides If I’d found the intelligence sooner don’t you think I would have told you sooner.” Peggy scolded the man shutting him up with a glare. 

Howard closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, “So you’re telling me, they have been messing with S.H.I.E.L.D., they set up Tony to get caught by reporters in compromising positions-,” Howard suddenly blanched remembering the conversation he’d had with Tony after Jarvis’ funeral. He gripped the soda water and suddenly he was very happy to not have booze in his hand. “Oh God.” Howard felt sick. “Peg, what else?” Howard asked his voice quiet as he gritted his teeth.

“To be honest I don’t know how many of Tony’s run-ins with the media have been them vs just the Stark name, but it has taught him to be secretive and smart and to never show his hand until he’s ready and he’s built firewalls and safety precautions that would steamroll our own here at S.H.I.E.L.D. I think it's safe to say he’s learned, grown, and isn’t going to be an easy target for them at least not from the technology or media side.”

“But he will be from Obadiah, he’s always seen Obadiah like an Uncle, Peg. That’s where he’s vulnerable, he’s vulnerable to the people who have already gotten past all the walls he’s put up.” 

They dove into planning for all the contingencies. For the next hour writing out what the next plans and steps would be. They believed that they currently had the upper hand. They didn’t know that with their jump into action Hydra would retaliate, however instead of the serum going to the government where they would arguably have more control in picking their applicants for the serum they would be forced into going with plan B, stealing the serum, dislodging Howard as the CEO of SI while Stane was still in line to become the head after Howard’s passing and ship the serum to Russia and keep Stane in their pocket, allowing for a quick expansion into both Russia and the United States, two of the harder countries for them to operate in. 

Howard stood from his seat once all the plans were in place “Peg, I’m going to drive that serum to the Pentagon, but keep the plane tickets, if we change plans this close to the delivery date they’ll know we’ve made them.”

“Howard, if that plane goes down and you’re not on it that'll tip them off, that’s a major red flag. They’ll go back underground.”

“I know but this serum is too important, they’ve been after it for the better part of a century, we can’t let them have it now. Besides they aren’t gonna take down the plane, they want the serum intact.”

Alexander Pierce stood up from his place at the door and quickly slipped down the hall when he heard their conversation come to a close. In just a few short days, Stark Industries would be Hydra’s and they would have a serum that would help them change the world even more than their original soldier already had.

Peggy nodded slowly he was right, that plane going down wouldn’t work, but they could still do other things. “Howard, go get that new Will you just drew up to a Notary with that lawyer of yours.”

“I’ve already made the appointment, I’m stopping by on my way to the Stark Headquarters, for that board meeting I'm supposed to be in.” Howard turned and left with a grim nod that Carter reciprocated.

Pierce snuck through the lab finding the case of banned memory altering drugs, they had quit using them due to the side effects that they carried, even one dose was no longer allowed. Pierce held the last 5 syringes in his hand pocketing them before he went back to his office just down the hall from Director Carter. He couldn't have her remembering the last few hours, possibly days or weeks depending on when her searches had come back.

Howard was gone when he got back, leaving to stop by his Lawyer’s office to finalize the paperwork before his own board meeting. Pierce walked into Carter’s office with a file and the syringes tucked carefully in his pocket with the needle caps on. “Hey Director Carter-Sousa”

“Yes Pierce,” Peggy asked as he came up to her desk.

He walked around it “I was just wondering” he set the file down moving his free hand to open the file the other firmly gripping the syringe underneath “If you had ever seen this.” He gestured to the file, he’d made sure to grab a Hydra file she’d have been interested in, she moved closer seeing the familiar blue-grey eyes and chocolate brown hair of Sergeant Barnes, even with the longer hair Bucky was unmistakable, “The Winter Soldier” was stamped in red next to his old military picture was the one of him now. He still looked exactly the same, even with one arm missing replaced by a cybernetic prosthetic all the up to his shoulder. She looked at the other photo picking it up, it was of the Winter Soldier on the grassy knoll in downtown Dallas. She knew what this was. It was the day President Kennedy was assassinated, Bucky had been the one to pull the trigger, the three shots and two rounds in the head in 5.6 seconds now made sense. She’d never known anyone but Barnes who was that good of a shot especially not with a Mannlicher-Carcano, for him that would have been an easy shot. Her first question was how was he still alive, then she remembered the circumstances of his rescue, Zola had been experimenting their knock off Erskine super-soldier serum on prisoners. Bucky was the only one to survive. That was the only conclusion she could come up with, and that he was ‘Cryogenically frozen’ that would have stopped a significant amount of aging as well from what she knew.

“I haven’t Agent Pierce,” she mused, then the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. Something wasn’t right, she spun around in her seat ready to face whatever it was that had caused that reaction head-on but it was too late. Pierce had already gotten the drop on her; the syringe was in her neck before she was fully turned toward him.

“I didn’t think so, sadly we have to call him in now,” Pierce said watching as she fought the drug. “We can’t have Howard or you interfering any more than you already have,” Pierce said. “Unlucky for him, he’s gone and it is easier at this point if he suffers from an unfortunate accident, much like Kennedy did, we are better at making it look like an accident now though.” Peggy glared up at him quickly typing in a code and a timestamp into her computer and hitting enter, it was a code she hoped was active, one Howard had told her about, one that would send her open files and anything she had gotten or done in the last week to a secure server outside of S.H.I.E.L.D. It wasn’t even a server that she could access from inside S.H.I.E.L.D. but you could open it if you had the passcode and were in Howard’s private lab in Rochefort New York. She hoped it would be enough as another syringe jabbed into her neck “Damn Bitch. I’d kill you now if it wouldn’t raise every red flag this place has, I guess I have to settle for wiping your memory.” Peggy heard those words and suddenly realized what he’d done. She wouldn’t remember any of this day, she’d be bedridden with flu-like symptoms for the next few days and she would slowly after that be unable to continue her work. With the hope that the server and the contingency plans would make it into the right hands and before it was too late, she felt herself drift off to sleep, a pounding headache creeping up on her despite her best efforts to stay awake just a little longer. She heard Pierce chuckle over her head as she closed her eyes, “Sweet dreams Carter.”

Pierce scooped up the file and deleted the contingency plans Peggy and Howard had made. He made notes of her emails, calling in an IT expert to rearrange the emails and memos she’d gotten over the last few days replacing them with fakes that wouldn’t realert her attention. He looked over her searches deleting or modifying as needed to suit his purpose, as much as he could at least the IT person he’d called in could get there, they would do a much better job than he could at masking her computer history, he had to rebury the growth of Hydra within S.H.I.E.L.D. Luckily all the information had just come in just the last few days, the two doses of memory serum he’d jabbed her with would be plenty to make her forget them. When the Tech guy showed up they nodded to one another before he took his leave. He then took all the hard copy files that were pertinent, including his one on James Barnes, off her desk, and back to his. When he got back to his desk he got to work immediately sending out the word that he needed a meeting with the others in Hydra’s high command. The night was young and they needed to work quickly especially if she had somehow gotten the word out to another person that Hydra was back. He slid the other vials of the memory serum under the false bottom of one of his desk’s drawers along with the Winter Soldier file. Pierce left the office leaving for a cigar and whiskey lounge that acted as a meetup place for the Heads of Hydra, he smiled as he stepped out into the crisp cold air of New Jersey on that early December day Christmas was gonna come early that year.

—————————— December 16th 1991 

Tony listened from his place under the blanket on the couch, he’d gotten so used to sleeping on couches in college he couldn’t sleep in a bed anymore unless he was completely exhausted. He had gotten in late the night before, tossed his bags in his room, and crashed on the couch. His Mother had been up long enough to tell him they would be back in a week from the Bahamas, it was just a quick getaway before Christmas, after Howard stopped by the Pentagon of course. Tony knew they’d be lucky to get the weekend in the Bahamas, especially with Howard being the workaholic he was. 

His mother was singing at the piano as he lay there, he had the house to himself for the week, a house that was just a little too quiet without Jarvis. He knew Rhodey was on leave for the holidays, he could always talk him into coming up for the week, show him around New York, it was bound to be different from anything else he’d seen. Not that Howard would believe that Tony just wanted a quiet week to himself, the papers had already launched a rumor scandal about him and Candice and what they did with all the late nights they were having together in England. Tony had only rolled his eyes, she was helping him with the legal side of the company he was trying to start, he’d been burned by people in the past and he wasn’t about to have a business venture that would leave him open to getting hurt. Tony had told Howard he had something he wanted to talk about at some point during his trip the night before. That was when Howard had told him it would have to wait, he was going to the Pentagon the next morning followed by the mini vacation. Tony was shocked that Howard was even contemplating a vacation, the man he knew had rarely taken a half-day away from the office, a full weekend in the Bahamas was something he had never thought Howard to be capable of. But Tony would pay money to watch Howard attempt to be normal. Howard told Tony they would talk when he was back, even going as far as to call Yvette telling her to put something on the books for the next week. To put it mildly, Tony had been shocked, he’d never realized till then that this was the first time in his life Howard had actually gone out of his way to make time for him.

As Tony listened to his mother’s voice he relaxed, he’d been awake for 56 hours prior to his passing out on the couch. It didn't come as any shock to him that he’d slept till 3 in the afternoon, maybe this year Christmas wouldn’t be so bad. “Who’s the homeless person on the couch?” Tony rolled his eyes on second thought maybe Christmas would be exactly the same, the blanket was yanked off his head. Howard looking down at him, of course, things between them wouldn’t change overnight but Tony knew Howard was at least trying. Yanking the blanket from him was definitely one of the lower things on his long list of transgressions against Tony. 

Tony stood up begrudgingly immediately slipping into being defensive “This is why I love coming home for Christmas right before you leave town.”

“Howard do try to be nice, he’s been studying abroad,” Maria said as she continued to play the last bits of the song before they headed out.

Howard smirked sizing Tony up as he stood in front of him finally seeing the man he was starting to become, “Really? Which broad? What’s her name?” he asked as he reached out pulling the Santa hat off Tony’s head. Tony knew it was almost a test question to Howard, see how invested he was, and if he really did know the name or if he was just fooling around. Not that Howard had any right to judge Tony since he had done the same things Tony was accused of when he was younger. 

“Candice” Tony replied, keeping still as Howard threw the hat onto the couch he’d just vacated.

“Do me a favor? Try not to burn the house down before Monday.” Howard said with a sigh as he watched Tony perk up seeing the opportunity to engage, even if it was just sarcastically.

“Ok so it is Monday,” Tony already knew it was Monday, Howard had told him that last night. Howard rolled his eyes knowing Tony was just being a smartass now. Pushing the limits to see how Howard would react. Them being this cordial to the other’s face was very very new for both of them. “That’s good to know. I’ll plan my toga party accordingly.” He said, even now falling back on old habits to put some space between him and Howard as he spoke, old habits a defensive reaction died hard. He shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels “where are you going?” He asked, not meeting their eyes as he looked through the window, emphasizing the fact that he was getting left behind while they ran off, yet again, leaving him.

“Your father is flying us to the Bahamas for a little getaway.” His Mother said, continuing to play softly.

“We might have to make a quick stop,” Howard said, stepping forward to look at Tony, he couldn’t say Tony couldn’t interact well with others anymore. In fact Tony interacted almost too well, his scathing sarcasm and dry humor he’d picked up in London was now a well-worn trait.

“At the Pentagon. Right?” Tony asked knowing the answer as he challenged Howard on the fact that even as they were heading out to go on vacation Howard’s penchant for overwork was still tagging along. Howard closed his eyes knowing Tony was just upset that he’d only just arrived and they were leaving with him not even having been there 24 hours yet. Tony decided to seal his side of the conversation with one last jab. He stepped away from Howard onto the other side of his Mother and leaned down “Don’t worry, you’re going to love the Holiday menu at the commissary.” He snarked, alluding to Howard not taking her to the Bahamas but instead getting caught up in work at the Pentagon through Christmas. 

Howard scowled at the comment “You know they say sarcasm is a metric for potential.” He said as Tony turned his back and walked away, he didn’t want to deal with this anymore. “If that’s true you’ll be a great man someday.” Tony didn’t know how to respond to that, so he just continued to face away. Howard turned to Maria “I’ll get the bags.” He said, turning and leaving the room.

“We do miss you when you’re not here,” Maria said as she stood and walked over to him. She put her hand on his arm, “we will be back on Monday, Tony dear,” Maria said, “Do try not to cause too much of a mess while we are away.” She said as Howard re-entered the room with their bags. Maria kissed his cheek and walked towards the door, Tony just nodded to Howard who nodded back before walking out the door after Maria loading the last bags into the car and driving off towards the airport.

Tony holed up in the lab after Howard left, his music loud and blaring, he didn’t hear the banging on the front door that was half the house away. It was 8:30 pm and he had gotten into a rhythm in the lab his code was finally starting to come together, the new leaf Howard had shown offering him a weird sort of inspiration to make his AI sarcastic as well as helpful, goodness knows he’d probably listen to a sarcastic AI more than one that just spit numbers, facts and times at him.

Tony was jarred bolt upright when a few hours later around 10 a knock came at the workshop door. He jumped, he hadn’t been expecting any visitors, Rhodey wasn’t gonna get in til the next day. He looked up seeing his Aunt Peggy at the door, her eyes were red and her face sorrowful as she looked in at him. “Aunt Peggy,” Tony said in shock turning the music way down so they could have an actual conversation “What are you doing here?” She didn’t answer, she just walked over and sat down on his desk a sad smile pulling at her lips, it was like she was happy he was there and yet still so overwhelmed. “Howard isn’t here, he left a few hours ago.”

“I know Tony, he was going to the Pentagon,” Peggy said, placing a hand on his forearm pausing him for a half-second before he quickly typed out the final line he needed and hit save. “He was going to drop something off.”

“You mean he was dropping something off for S.H.I.E.L.D. the intelligence organization you both started after World War 2,” Tony said, his eyes narrowing, he didn’t like where this was going.

“Yes,”

“Well then, why are you here?” He snapped pulling away as he looked up at her, the mask she’d tried to keep up crumbling away as he watched. He suddenly had a sinking feeling in his gut as he froze looking up at her, his eyes wide as he realized suddenly she wasn’t here to see Howard, she was here to see him.

“There’s been an accident Tony, we already have people out investigating it but Tony. Your parents never made it to the airport, there was a crash along the way, sweetheart they are both dead,” Tony was quiet as he gripped her hand, accepting her arms around him as she pulled him forward into her lap. Tony barely could hear her as he collapsed into her, why did everyone leave him. Her fingers ran through his hair as she sat there with the boy too young to have lost as many people as he had, too young to have to deal with all this.

Tony gripped the hand that wasn’t running through his hair “Aunt Peggy?” He asked looking up at her.

“Yes sweetie.”

“Did they, did,” He took a breath. “Did they suffer?” he asked, Peggy’s heart hurt at the quiet voice that was trembling.

“No, the investigators believe they died immediately.” how was she supposed to tell the boy that she suspected foul play, the change in Howard’s plans from flying to driving was enough to make her innate spy senses to peak, he’d known something, something she didn’t and that alone was enough to pique her interest into opening an investigation of her own. As odd as that was, the real red flag in her mind was the missing case that held the new super soldier serum Howard had made was gone. But until she had something finite, she need not worry the boy in her lap, so she stuck with what the report said, it technically wasn’t a lie, but it also wasn’t the whole truth.

“Do they need someone to identify them?” Tony asked, he was slipping into rational and technical things, she knew he would, it was how he grounded himself, it always had been how he dealt with problems and traumatic events. It was Howard’s way of dealing with them too. Focus on what came next, Howard had always focused on the next thing, and it had kept the man from properly dealing with Steve’s death to the point where it harmed himself and those around him.

“No sweetie, I took care of that.”

Tony was quiet for a while as he processed before he asked the question Peggy wasn’t prepared for. “What am I supposed to do?”

“You know what I’m not sure, but we can focus on that tomorrow morning, let's go find Dum-Dum and take a page out of his book on this one for the night,” Peggy said, picking up the phone on the desk and dialing a number, Tony just nodded numbly before dropping his head back into her lap. Peggy spoke briefly with Uncle Tim before she hung up. She tapped Tony’s shoulders getting him up. “Alright he’s expecting us, now let’s not keep him waiting too long, Jim, Monty, and Gabe are in town too so they are going to be joining us.” Tony nodded and sat up following her lead around his own house. Oh God, it was his own house now, he froze on the spot looking around at the huge space. He was the head of the Stark household now, at 21. He barely registered Peggy getting into the pantry and grabbing out three bottles of caramel-colored liquid, she found him still frozen between the kitchen and the parlor that opened up to a massive entryway that had doubled as a ballroom in the past. “It’ll be ok Tony, we’re all gonna be here with you every step of the way,” she said, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder giving it a squeeze before she led him out the door, locking it behind them.

With the next day came funeral arrangements and the writing of statements and answering questions for the papers, Obadiah, Dum-Dum, and Peg took on most of the work, allowing Tony to have his space especially when Rhodey showed up the next day. Peggy had caught Rhodes in the car turnaround and had told him what had happened. Tony holed up with Rhodey in the entertainment room in the back of the house. Rhodey watched as the boy spiraled, drinking more than he’d ever thought possible until he passed out, Tony did that every day until the funeral. Rhodey hid the bottles the night before the funeral after Tony had passed out, it wasn’t even hard, Rhodey just put them all in Howard’s room, one of the places in the house Tony was avoiding like the plague. The after event for the funeral was to be in the house and Dum-Dum’s wife had taken it over with help from his Uncle Falcee and Jim. Tony just had to show up, meaning Rhodey just had to get him through the day. A task that was much much easier said than done, Tony was avoiding processing like it was the plague, for the last 5 days he had been either holed up in his bed passed out drunk or in the lab wired on Coke, coffee, and Adderall trying to get his AI’s code done. How the mixture hadn't given Tony a heart attack Rhodey would never know cause no one should have been able to function the way Tony had been for the last few days. 

The day of the funeral Tony was unusually quiet, his normal snark and sarcasm diminished with the family he both had and hadn’t chosen around him. He didn’t know how to mourn his mother while not really caring about Howard. The media left Maria as a footnote, but to Tony, Howard was the footnote and he didn’t know how to do it. How could he interact with all these people and not have them see right through him? So he chose to be quiet and let his masks take over. Luckily no one bothered him about it. They left him alone, Rhodey shadowing him, Tony was glad to have Rhodey there, even if he had hidden all the booze in the house. Tony found himself hiding in the corner behind Peggy and the other Commandos who were luckily keeping the media and guests at bay. They knew better than anyone there that there were only so many times you could hear ‘I’m sorry’ before you snapped. Tony had hit that point an hour ago when a journalist had wandered past them and started talking to Tony. The man had offered his condolences and Tony had bitten back.

“Mr. Stark.”

“I’m not Mr. Stark, not today, that was Howard,” even when the old man was dead Tony couldn’t refer to him as his Father, some wounds just went too deep. “Just Tony.”

“Oh uh Okay then Tony, I just want to start by saying I’m Sorry-”

That was it Tony had had enough with the babying and the people trying to comfort him and use the death of his Mother and Howard as a way to get close. “Why?” he snapped, gaining the eyes of all the commandos, Rhodey’s eyes went wide, this wasn’t good. “Did you do it?” Tony asked rounding on him.

“I - Uh no.” the reporter stammered as the full glare of Tony Stark was leveled at him.

“Then why would you be apologizing?” Tony hissed. Cutting him off again, taking a step forward.

The reporter threw his hands up in surrender “It’s just an expression, I didn’t mean anything by it.” The young reporter backed up as Tony stepped forward menacingly. Rhodey caught Tony around the shoulders with his arm.

“I think you should leave,” Rhodey said, staring down the reporter in front of him. The man nodded frantically nearly tripping over himself as he bolted from the house. The show of him exiting the house as fast as possible was enough of a warning to everyone else to stay the hell away from Tony for the rest of the day. “Was that really necessary Tones?” Rhodey asked, smirking at the younger man.

Tony just shrugged and grabbed Rhodey’s glass of bourbon “Probably not,” he admitted but his lips quirked up at the corner as he said it causing both Rhodey and Peggy to roll their eyes.

“That’s it then no more visitors for you,” Peggy said with an exasperated sigh, knowing full well that that was exactly what Tony had been hoping to gain by his little outburst.

As the normal guests left, the celebration of life coming to a close, Howard's Lawyer came by, Peggy led him to Howard’s study so he could set up. When the last guest left Dum Dum, Jim and Gabe’s wives set up shop in the kitchen to make a meal for everyone who was considered family, something quick and easy and homemade, none of them wanted Tony to be alone. Tony had been living on take out for the last week cause as much as Rhodey had tried to take care of him, cooking wasn’t in the cards that made up the deck of Rhodey’s life skills.

Rhodey turned to Tony as everyone else moved into the Study “do you need someone there?”

“No I’m fine, go on and see if you can’t figure out how to not burn water.”

Rhodey groaned “You're an asshole.”

“Aww but you love me Rhodey-Bear.” Tony teased.

“Yea, I do,” Rhodey said with a chuckle, shaking his head as he yanked Tony into a hug. Tony stiffened for about 3 seconds before he relaxed and hugged Rhodey back.

Rhodey let go and squeezed Tony’s shoulder “I’ll be right back.” Tony said before walking down the hall entering the Study. He knew he had to be here for the Will reading but he didn’t really think anything of it, he knew Howard had never thought much of him. He’d be lucky to get his trust fund and the house. His father would probably give the company to Obie and most of the fortune Stark Industries had acquired. His work with Peggy would go to her. And the commandos would get a few knick-knacks and some money since they had been his wartime buddies. But he didn’t see much of a reason to be here. He just hoped what he got would be enough to start the RJBC conglomerate. He sat down in the chair at the back after he closed the door behind him, he didn’t want all eyes on him when Howard’s friends realized he’d been almost completely cut out of the Will. If not entirely, as he sat down he realized that that was a very apt possibility, and it would be just like Howard to use his death to deal the final humiliating blow, that his own son wasn’t even worth a penny of his thoughts. 

Tony swallowed hard, his teeth clenching together as he sat, his hand clenched around his wrist, twisting and regripping tightly, his thumb worrying at the skin on the back of his forearm. He would give anything for a blade right now, but in front of all these people, he had to settle for digging his nails sharply into the soft flesh on his wrist. Christmas Rose, and Cyclamen blooming on the wrist of icy skin. “Is everyone here?” The lawyer asked, looking around for someone to take charge. 

Unsurprisingly that person was Peggy who spoke straight over Obadiah as she said yes, Howard had sent her an email just a few days prior with notes about his Will and had told her who all was in his Will so she knew that all the present parties were accounted for. To her that was just another tally in the column for ‘things that weren't adding up’, Howard’s death so close to him changing his Will and telling Peggy about it. ‘I updated my Will as suggested that night we spoke, hopefully, this will be just a precautionary measure, but after what you told me about Stane and the internal affairs at S.H.I.E.L.D. I couldn’t leave for DC without the updates. Make sure Tony, yourself, Stane, Dugan, Jones, Falsworth, and Morita are in the room too. I don’t need any more monsters trying to take any more advantage than they already have.’ The words of Howard’s email had been vague but she knew he had trusted her to figure it out. She must have spoken to Howard the week previous about something important about both Stane and S.H.I.E.L.D., it must have fallen within the few day time gap where she couldn’t remember anything. That alone had sent red flags up and now this, Peggy knew something was afoot that she had to figure out and figure out fast, they had already compromised her, and if her gut was correct whoever it was had also taken out Howard. Who it was she didn’t know, but she did know the serum Howard had been transporting was gone so at least she’d known what they wanted.

“Alright then let us proceed then, in my hand I have the last will and testament of the late Howard Anthony Walter Stark. He asked that you all be here for this so things may be decided quickly and quietly without turmoil. So without further ado, to the remaining Commandos Jim Morita, James “Monty” Falsworth, Timothy ‘Dum Dum’ Dugan, and Gabe Jones, I have never known any of you to be material men except when it comes to your Booze and Cigars. To each of you, I leave the following boxes of cigars and bourbon.” The lawyer handed them each a piece of paper. “You will find these in the study or the pantry, Peggy should have the key to the safe they reside in, to each of you I also leave 1 million dollars.” The Commandos sputtered as they took the checks the lawyer handed them next. Their eyes wide as saucers, but the checks were quickly neatly folded and forgotten in their back pockets as they huddled up to examine who had gotten which box of cigars and who had gotten which bottles of bourbon. Howard was right, none of the Commandos cared much about the money, but give them a cigar and a good bottle of bourbon and they were happy as a bunch of clams.

“To Peg, I give you access to the vault as well as everything inside of it, I never trusted the SSR with the stuff in there but I trust you, I also give you access to my servers at S.H.I.E.L.D. The Georgetown house in DC, as well as 10 million dollars,” The lawyer handed over a check and two envelopes filled with papers “He wished you to have this as well.” the man said Peggy just nodded “Oh and I almost forgot, the fondue pot from Lucerne” For some reason at the mention of the fondue pot the Commandos all stopped and started laughing.

“Oh shut up you bunch of knuckleheads.” Peggy snapped but quickly couldn’t contain her laughter at the joke. Tony had never seen Howard joke before so to him it was a foreign concept that they could be laughing on account of something Howard had done or said. Peggy caught Tony’s puzzled glance before smiling “We’ll tell you that story later Tony,” Peggy said with a laugh.

One would think that after 5 of the 8 occupants had started laughing over something as silly as a fondue pot the air in the room would be lighter, but to Tony, it only became more suffocating. He still hadn’t heard his name. Had Howard gone through with his threats and cut him out? “To Obadiah Stane,” Tony’s breath caught, he knew that the Will went down in order of importance, and Obadiah’s name had been called before Tony’s. Tony swallowed hard, he could do this, he could sit there, he would show them that this was exactly what he had expected, he’d show them exactly the man Howard had always been to him. “I leave my 1948 Ferrari 166 MM Touring Barchetta, The House in Orlando, Florida, the house in Berlin, the bottle of Dalmore Candela 50-year-old scotch and 20 million dollars.” The lawyer passed over the check and the packets.

Tony couldn’t hear anything but the blood rushing behind his ears, he couldn’t do this, he hadn’t heard anything after the Barchetta. He stared at the floor, this was it, they would know, they’d finally see how broken he was. They’d see what Howard had known from the start, he was unlovable and incompetent, and now Howard had finally gotten what he wanted, Tony out. Tony saw the shift in the room as all eyes fell on him. Oh God, they knew they all knew he’d been left with nothing. Did he at least still have his trust fund? That was in his name, right? But he didn’t have full access yet, he wasn’t 25. “To my Son Tony Stark.” Tony froze those words cutting through his panic as clear as day. “I leave to him the rest of my possessions, The houses, the cars, and Stark Industries.” Tony blinked, he’d gotten Stark Industries? “Until the time Tony decides to take up the mantle as CEO of Stark Industries or until his next birthday, Obadiah Stane will be acting CEO, at which point Anthony Edward Stark will retain full responsibility of SI.”

“I’m sorry, What?” Tony asked, staring at the lawyer. He was stunned.

“You mister Stark have two options, you either take up the mantle of CEO on your 22nd birthday, your next birthday, or you take up the mantle of CEO before that date. But either way, you will have full control of Stark Industries by May 29th, until then Obadiah Stane is going to be acting CEO, within limitations of course, for all moves, sales, and acquisitions you will still have the final say, and your presence is required at all the board of directors meetings from here on out. It states very plainly in the company by-laws that a Stark, or the CEO, must be present at the meetings for them to be official, an acting CEO alone does not meet the requirements.” Tony sat there in shock after those words.

“Let's give him a few minutes boys,” Peggy said shooing them all out of the room. Before coming to sit next to him on the footrest. “Now why is it that I feel like you didn’t expect that?” Peggy asked with a knowing smile. A loud slam of a door echoed down the hall. “Oh for goodness sake I swear grown men throw the worst kind of tantrums,” she remarked glaring at the door as she rolled her eyes. Tony smiled a bit at the comment.

“Probably because I didn’t expect that,” Tony admitted.

“I know Tony, but I also know that even though Howard never said it to you or anyone else, he was proud of you.” Tony looked up at her puzzled. “I could always tell when he was responding to an email from you or if it was to someone else these last few years. “He always would scowl at the computer with anyone else and he’d mutter under his breath that he worked with a team of imbeciles, and other things that I didn’t even begin to understand. When it was an email from you he almost had a smile on his face, he never muttered anything about incompetence or how physics doesn’t work that way. The only thing he ever said that I caught was, ‘finally, someone who gets it.’ Tony I know you and Howard didn’t get along” Tony nearly snorted at that, ‘didn’t get along’ was probably the mildest way of describing the relationship he had with Howard growing up. “But in his own very very strange and twisted way, he did love you and he was proud of you, he wouldn’t have given you almost everything if he didn’t believe you were the right choice. We all know he always put his own self-interests before the greater good, he also would be the first one to admit that too. He may not have known how to show it Tony, actually scratch that, this is Howard we are talking about, I know he didn’t know how to show it, but there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for you.” Peggy said rubbing his back Tony just shook his head. How he wished everything Peggy had just said was true, but he knew better. Howard barely put up with him this had to be yet another test, one Howard was certain he would fail, but this time it wouldn’t just be Howard that saw how truly messed up Tony was, it would be the entire world. Tony was going to be on display as the CEO of the company, and Howard would be laughing in his grave while he watched Tony fall. It was just another test the Howards Stark liked to play. So Tony saw it as that he had two options, he could fail and burn out miserably and be a laughing stock or he could fly.

It was at that moment that Tony Stark knew what he was going to do. He gritted his teeth biting sharply down on his lip to clear his mind he didn’t even mind that he drew blood. Rock Rose. He was going to show Howard and the world exactly what he was capable of. He was going to rise higher, he was going to fly so high none of his demons could touch him. He had no strings, he didn’t have a soulmate tethering him, he would outshine them all, if only to hide how broken he truly was. Build walls around himself layers and layers of them, he would never let them drag him down again

Starks were made of Iron. 

Starks did not bend. 

Starks did not show weakness.

Starks did not break.

Starks did not cry.

Starks were made of Iron.

He was a Stark.

With that thought an Iron Mask descended onto Tony’s face, they would only ever see what he wanted them to see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christmas Rose - Anxiety  
> Cyclamen - Resignation  
> Rock Rose - Determination 
> 
> Also Yay!!! I finally got to kill off Howard!!! I've been waiting to kill Howard since this story started.
> 
> I am so thankful to all of you who commented on the story I love every single one of the comments. I love hearing your theories about where things are going, and what you like, and any questions you may have. I know this chapter is a little different but after everything I've written for the other chapters, this one is probably the lightest. Let me know what you think!!!


	6. Chapter 6: Amaryllis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took forever to get up. I've been back at work and there have been many a stretch of 12-16 days of work in a row, which doesn't leave me with much time to write. 
> 
> And it's been a long few months, and I vote for 2020 to be over sooner rather than later.
> 
> But I just finished this chapter and I'm posting it because I've made you all wait much too long already for the next chapter.
> 
> I'm sorry it took so long, but serious shout out to all those people who commented and messaged me!!! It defiantly kept me motivated on those days that I really really really didn't want to write!!!

Chapter 6

The unsettled feeling that she was missing something had settled deep in Peggy’s gut as she pulled up who had access to knowledge that Howard was transporting the super-soldier serum. Something wasn’t right; she'd gotten to where she was by following her instincts and she knew Howard had updated his route in the last few days before he had left. She pulled up the log to see who had accessed the file and when. She made a note of all the Agent numbers’ that had accessed the file after the revision Howard had made, none threw up a red flag for her, only 5 people had been given access other than herself and Howard and those were the agent’s who were to be on the task force for rebirth 2.0, Coulson, Fury and Pierce. Normally that would have satiated Peggy’s curiosity but the missing serum was a missing component that didn’t quite add up. Peggy dove into the Agent’s backgrounds, Agent Coulson was the fastest to check off as not a double agent, he’d been picked for his love of Captain America. Peggy almost laughed as she found his history of buying Captain America collectibles, she quickly dismissed him, he didn’t fit the profile she was looking for, he didn’t have it in him to orchestrate the murder of one of Steve’s colleagues from the war especially one that had helped create the Captain’s image. That just left Fury and Pierce. Peggy dug into their files, Fury had secrets but none that made Peggy distrust him, unlike Pierce. Pierce had a list of contacts in his file and people who gave Peggy a bad feeling in his list of recent contacts, she had always been one to trust her instincts, they had never failed her so why start distrusting them now. She didn’t even bother calling in Fury first, Pierce was on the floor, and he was her top suspect. She called him in, and as he stepped in and sat down, she had the strange sense of deja vu, but she couldn’t place where it was from. She was careful as she sat behind her desk, her fingers brushing along the underside of her desk, finding the familiar curves of the set of throwing knives, the Colt M1911A1, and Walther PPK strapped to the underside of her desk. She let out a steady breath, she was well-armed if it came down to it. Pierce sat down across the desk from her, he seemed too relaxed, almost smug. “Director Carter, how are you, I heard you were under the weather for a bit last week.” He said with a smile, one that only put her on edge more. 

“I was, but I’m feeling much better, the physicians assured me it was only the flu.”

“Sounded like it was a pretty nasty variant of it if it took you out for the week.”

“Is that concern I’m hearing Pierce?”

“Of course it is Director, it’d be a shame to lose you before you’re ready to step down. You were one of S.H.I.E.L.D.s founding members.” His expression was carefully measured, he had been in the game of espionage a long time but not longer than Peggy had been. She saw the cracks in his mask, he knew more than he was letting on and he was almost coy in his compliment he knew something she didn’t.

“Well, I had a few questions for you regarding the change of transportation Howard decided to take.” She said relaxing in her chair, her fingertips teasing the handle of one of the knives. “I was wondering if you knew when he changed it since I was out with the flu that week.” 

Pierce couldn’t hide the flash of surprise in his eyes before his face dropped to a neutral expression of concern. “I believe he did it sometime the week before his travels,” Pierce said shifting in his seat. “He said something about having a bad feeling about flying, I guess he went out to check his plane and some of the guys working on it weren’t from his standard crew, and we all know how precious the cargo he was carrying to DC was.”

Peggy nodded, that would have been a valid reason, Howard thoroughly vetted all his mechanics before letting them near his planes. If Howard had seen someone new he would have made sure to reinspect the plane himself before he got in it again. She had been delayed by him on the tarmac before, him tinkering, taking apart and reassembling his plane while she and Maria sat inside it until he decided that the plane was safe and passed his inspection. “That does sound like Howard.” She admitted with a roll of her eyes. 

“He ran it past me on Friday before he left for a board meeting,” Pierce said with a shrug. “It seemed like a good plan. I’m not going to argue with the guy if he doesn’t feel comfortable taking his invention in his own plane.”

Peggy held back her grimace before choosing a different tactic “Did anyone overhear your talk?”

“I didn’t exactly have time to secure a perimeter Carter, Howard let me know the change in plans while passing me in the hall as he left,”

“That doesn’t sound like Howard.”

“I don’t know Carter, all I know is that it was late and he was in a hurry to get out, said he was late for a board meeting that started at 6 or something.”

“What time?”

“I don’t know. 5:30?” Pierce admitted.

Peggy had him, Howard had sent her an email at 7 saying he had just updated his will and was on his way to a board meeting that Friday. “Interesting.” She said, leveling her gaze on him.

Pierce swallowed hard. Why was this man the deputy director? He had no poker face. Peggy had to put effort into not rolling her eyes. “If you have something to say then say it Carter.” Pierce finally said the tension returning to his shoulders. 

“Just an interesting note seeing as I got an email from Howard that day at 7 saying he was on his way to a board meeting.” Peggy challenged. 

“Well he is your friend, I wouldn’t expect him to have told me his exact plans for the night,” Pierce said shrugging the accusation off. 

Peggy smiled he was too nonchalant he hadn’t known and he was just trying to weasel his way out. She’d have to start building a case against him, something to get him out. “Ok thank you, Pierce.”

“Of course Carter, let me know if there is anything else I can do for you.” He said.

Peggy smiled and nodded “Of course Pierce.” He was still too smug, the arrogance radiated off him as he smiled like he knew she had nothing. Or so he thought. He stood up and walked out, parking himself just outside the door.

“Let me know if you need anything else.” He said as he left, Peggy just nodded. She returned to her work, placing a call to the tech department she needed Pierce and Fury’s search histories. Pierce heard the call, he knew she hadn’t talked to anyone else yet, he’d been keeping an eye on her actions since Howard’s Death, she was smart and he wasn’t naive enough to believe that a double dose of the memory injection and wipe off her computer would stop her. He had already set an alert to the tech department for the same IT man who had wiped her computer to be the one that responded should she call for them. As the man walked down the hall he stopped him, giving him specific instructions to take note of what she had done and what she knew. “Make sure you report to me immediately after.” The IT agent nodded, as Pierce disappeared to make another call. He called on a new Hydra recruit that was eager to please. John Garrett had been switched to Hydra’s loyalty in the last year as he was recovering and he was eager to please especially after Hydra had gotten him into the Cybertek trial and helped him become a better version of himself the biomechanical parts creating him into a partial super-soldier of Hydra’s pawn making. He would be thrilled with the opportunity to take down Carter who had refused his extraction request from Yugoslavia herself, or so he had been told.

John Garrett entered Pierce’s office. He was quickly given his instructions and two more vials off the Memory wipe drug shoved into his hand along with a new one that would destroy the Director’s body’s ability to process Vitamin B, sending her into an early retirement as her memory failed her more and more over the next few years. John was eager to please Pierce, he was star struck a bit by being called up by such a high ranking Hydra official. He took the vials leaving to plan his attack. Pierce was happy with his choice. Garrett had shown that he was a very resourceful agent and if he could pull this off he’d be Pierce’s go-to for the trickier mission’s, not everyone could get the drop on Peggy Carter. If not Garrett was still too new to the Hydra fold to know anything of consequence making him the perfect pick.

In the end, Garrett succeeded, calling Daniel, and playing it off like he’d seen Director Carter-Souza faint at the wheel, and when he’d gone to check on her she was burning up with a fever. Solidifying his S.H.I.E.L.D. Allegiance while keeping Carter and Souza out of the building so Pierce could fully wipe and clean house on her searches, taking his time to go through and be through with his information scrub on her computer. She would be out of the office for the next week if Garrett had done what he was supposed to. Pierce had IT take the computer as he locked the door to Peggy’s office, and then he waited. Sure enough, later that night Souza’s number came through to his office, he smiled as he let it go to voicemail. “Pierce its Daniel Souza, I just wanted to let you know that neither Director Carter nor myself will be in for the rest of the week, feel free to call if you need to, I will always be reachable, but Director Carter has shown a relapse of her Flu from the previous week.”

Pierce smiled, he’d call Souza tomorrow just to make sure Carter was ok, but it seemed like everything to take out Director Carter was going off without a hitch. They’d still need to be careful though even after she was out, she was too big a variable to not consider in their plans. Hydra would probably never be able to move freely until the memory serum started breaking her down and she was having many many more bad days than good ones.

———————————

Tony took only a few months before he took over the mantle of CEO of Stark Industries. He finished his Ph.D. program in record time, finishing it up by the end of February. He wasn’t happy with his new title and inheritance was going to cause him to hold off on turning the RJBC Foundation into a company. For the time being he paid Candice for the work she did to help him with the RJBC, he took the paperwork and proposals and put them on the back burner, hopefully, someday he could complete it but while he was starting out as CEO of SI was not the time. He was glad to be at the helm of his Family company though, he’d finally be able to start changing the world, and now with Rhodey in the Air Force and headed back overseas in the next few months he would be proud to keep the soldiers safe. He would keep the military branches safe. 

Obie tried to convince Tony that he didn’t need to jump in the deep end all at once but Tony saw no other way. He was the CEO and playing it safe wasn’t an option, he was much better acquainted with SI than Obie though since he’d been through everything on the back end. It wasn’t nearly as big a jump as everyone made it out to be. Well, it would have been, had Tony not been through the ins and outs of the entire company for almost the last 4 years, Howard had already been using Tony’s ideas and implementing his projects, Tony just never got the outright credit for it. Tony wasn’t even sure if Obie knew that the expansion into Body armor, armored vehicles, camouflage, and satellite cover. Tony had expanded Stark Industries beyond just weapons and from the sound of it, the military had loved the expansion into other aspects since like all Stark Tech it blew all the competitors out of the water.

Tony stood strong as he took up the mantle, he made the transition look easy, something that was shocking to the Board of Directors. They had been shocked that he’d come in with plans and new extensions of the current plans Howard had started, ones that he shouldn’t have been able to work on in the short few months that he’d had to adjust. Obie tried to tell Tony to ease in, “You’re new to this Tony, let us help you and guide you.”

Fighting off the urge to roll his eyes Tony just turned to Obie with a smile. “I think you’ll find that I am quite well prepared for this meeting. I’m a Stark Obie. This is my company and I have plans to take us into the future.” Tony brushed the older man off noticing the tight sigh and grimace that flickered across Obie’s face as they walked to the board room. 

Obie took a breath and set his jaw, this kid had no idea how to run a company, he’d only just graduated with his MBA and he thought he could just walk in and run the company. He was supposed to get Stark Industries, not Tony. Obie had worked hard to change Howard's mind over the years about who was fit to run the company after he decided to hand it over. He had been careful in pointing out that Tony was intelligent but also that Tony always seemed to one-up Howard, one thing that always made Howard see red and Obie exploited it every chance he got. Howard's ego was supposed to be his downfall and up until Howard's death and it worked but for some reason, it hadn’t worked. Obie couldn't put his finger on what had changed but somehow he had been cut out.

What Obie hadn’t thought to factor in was Tony’s brilliance after college, he thought that the bond between Tony and Howard had been broken beyond repair. He hadn’t expected Tony to contact Howard about projects while he was at Oxford, or that he’d made himself into a trusted ally on the backend of things, helping brainstorm and troubleshoot new plans. Howard and Tony had been in contact while Tony was overseas and from those interactions, Tony had created a name for himself behind Obie’s back as a confidant of Howard’s and that was one relationship that Obie never saw and couldn't have accounted for. Even if he had, Obie had always taken advantage of Howard's obsessive nature to be the best, and Tony never asked for credit in their emails, a move that still allowed Howard’s ego to be soothed even as Tony fixed the problems in designs they’d been struggling with or plans Howard couldn’t figure out a way out of. He had worked hard over the years to separate Tony and Howard as best as he could over the years, he made sure that Howard was never available. He was always at work, and when he did get home, he was always drunk. Obie had carefully taken Howard out for whiskey and cigars knowing Howard was a mean man when whiskey got involved, He’d almost been decked by the man enough to know whiskey was not Howard's friend. Those late nights drinking and the carefully planned meetings and business trips that correlated with every big event in Tony’s life had been a masterful plan of Obie’s. He made sure Howard never could cultivate a relationship with his son even after he turned into more of a man and wasn't held back by his age. Obie saw that as Tony had matured if Howard had ever taken the time to get to know the boy he would pose a real threat to Obie’s plans to take over Stark Industries. It had been a simple task at least it should have been Howard only had Obie around for advice, well him and Peggy. As much as Obie would've liked to have been the only voice in the room Howard respected Peggy way more than he ever had assumed, that wasn't an assumption that he would make again. Peggy had obviously always been rooting for Tony to step into his rightful place at Stark Industries and had pushed Howard to be more accepting of Tony as he grew up because in her words ‘he's only a kid he's going to make mistakes’. The more time Howard spent with Peggy the more Obie saw the man relax in his ideas of Tony. Obie found himself with more work to do in his mission to persuade Howard away from naming his son heir to SI, more work to make Howard doubt Tony so that Obie could take the reins when it finally came time for Stark Industries to be handed over. Obie had been furious at the will reading, he had spent years of his life at SI as Howard’s right-hand man. All he got for it was a house and a car and to be Tony’s babysitter. Furious had turned vengeful and in the next months before Tony took over he scoured through the will trying to find any and every loophole he could to possibly get the will redacted so that he could fight to have sole ownership. The only problem was he couldn't be upfront about it, he had to hire lawyers that had no ties to SI or anyone else. Tony wasn't willing to step down or handover what he rightfully earned or at least what he thought he had rightfully earned. Tony even as he was in school to get his MBA he still didn't understand what he had taken from Obie. When his inquiries about loopholes in the will came back empty Obie set up with a new plan, it would take a while but he was determined to get what was his, he would slowly gain Tony's trust, and then when the time was right he would make his move and take over Stark Industries even if it meant getting rid of the kid.

“Tony it's only your first day no one expects you to have the answers to everything.” Obie sighed as he followed the brat down the hall to the board room. 

In front of him Tony smirked, he had big plans, plans he’d already started to make good on. He would lead the company forward, he was a Stark and he would not fail, he would fly higher than anyone ever had before. The media and others could try to tear him down all they liked but he had a vision to make the world a safer place, starting with the US, he would give them his best. For Rhodey and his Soulmates, they had served this country and he would too. Tony shoved the doors open, he had a meeting to prepare for. He forced a smile onto his face when the room that was supposed to be empty had 9 men sitting around a table all of them turned to look at him clearly unimpressed with his now tardiness. Obie behind him could barely suppress his grin as he looked at the men over Tony’s shoulder and gave them a helpless shrug. Tony took it in stride, thinking that whoever his interim secretary/assistant was suddenly had a very short clock on his job. Tony’s bravado suddenly matched Howard’s as he took control of the room, he didn’t apologize, he was a Stark instead he said launched immediately into his plans. The board was star struck by his 5 and 10-year plans. Obie realized his dream of taking over Stark Industries was going to need to be a much longer and much more calculated game with Tony at the helm. Tony was not Howard, and Obie didn’t have the same relationship with Tony as he had with Howard.

——————————— 1997

Tony went through assistants like a toddler through candy over the next few years since he took over Stark Industries, he always fired them for one reason or another they either couldn’t keep up with his brain or couldn’t keep a proper schedule and would tell him the wrong times for meetings or appointments. His tardiness and apparent lack of respect for important meetings gained him a reputation and it wasn’t one of a hard worker. He had to work twice as hard because of his assistants it seemed, he was always making amends or playing catch up. He was lucky that his business sense had developed quickly, his MBA program being one of the best in the world, that and one really couldn’t grow up around Howard without picking up at least a thing or two over the years. But he was tired of having to work harder, sure he’d make some people wait, it was a tactic but missing meetings or making the important appointments wait wasn’t a good way to use that tactic.

He had finally gotten fed up with constantly not knowing his schedule and overhauled his time for a full month and a half sleeping only 3 to 4 hours a night or going 48 to 60 hours without sleeping just to put the finishing touches on the AI system he had been constructing over the last 9 years, a system he’d finally found the perfect name for, Just A Rather Very Intelligent System or J.A.R.V.I.S. He knew from the last missed meeting that he needed J.A.R.V.I.S. to be up and running sooner rather than later so he could keep his calendar straight for himself or at least fact check his assistants.

Now that J.A.R.V.I.S. was complete though he’d decided to take it a step even farther, he was tired of not being in charge of hiring his own assistant, Tony knew he was particular about the people he interacted with, it didn’t make sense to him that he hadn’t had more of a say in who got hired as his assistant, something he was fixing starting now. He was convinced that his lack of involvement with his assistants hiring was the main problem. To date none of them had lasted more than 6 months, although Tony did have to admit the ones Obie recommended at least lasted the longest, but he was done relying on others to help him, he wanted an assistant he could trust or at least one he knew could take responsibility for hiring. Even with a new assistant hire on the horizon Tony was thrilled to finally be able to integrate J.A.R.V.I.S. with his computer and the prototype phone he had been working on, even if he didn’t find a new assistant right away J.A.R.V.I.S. was essentially programmed to be his assistant, he was already running and monitoring all the houses Tony owned even if he only lived full time at the one in Malibu. Tony typed away on the code for the new phone he was building, he hadn’t quite talked the board into mass production on the phones, he was still slowly trying to push Stark Industries back into their original model of being on the cutting edge of all innovation not just military innovation. The board wasn’t on board with him and his plans yet though, not that he blamed them he was using proprietary military tech in the phones, and currently, he wouldn’t be allowed to release them to the public without the military’s consent. The board was slow to consider anything that wasn’t weapons, since “Stark Industries is a weapons company.” Tony could hear Obie’s frustrated voice every time he opened a new project on his personal server that wasn’t weapons-based. Tony always quipped back that Stark Industries hadn’t always been just in weapons development, they had just taken that turn to specialize in 1967. Tony now wanting a little more say in his assistant hire had started to advertise for interviews outside of Stark Industries and just those who were recommended to him. He’d voice this idea to Obie during a final weapons inspection in the warehouse, Tony had continued with Howard’s 100% guarantee for the military inspecting everything that went out himself, discarding or sending boxes back that didn’t hold up to that ruthless standard. If Tony wasn’t absolutely certain that when his weapons were fired that they would work and be effective he sent them back to either be reworked or to be disposed of depending on what the failures in the weapon were. As Tony told Obie he was going to look outside of Stark Industries, Obie had all but scoffed at the idea, immediately trying to talk Tony out of it saying it was a waste of his time and that they had people for that Tony was hearing none of it. 

Tony walked into the little cafe with Happy, the last hire he had made as a personal bodyguard and security, he wanted someone that wasn’t all business but also was street smart too unlike the suits Obie had always ordered to tail him. Happy had been a perfect fit, even though he never smiled he was better than all the other security guys Tony had met. Tony hadn’t even needed to come up with his own fun nickname for the guy, he already had one from his boxing career days and Tony stuck with it.

Happy was a good bodyguard, he kept Tony up on his self-defense training and was undeterred by the crowds or famous people Tony met and was quickly learning Tony’s quirks. One of the things Tony had made sure to ask in his interview, he didn’t want another guy who was all but a robotic drone, one that didn’t even react to his sarcasm and jokes, at least he’d gotten a small chuckle and head shake from Happy during the interview and that had been good enough for Tony. Happy was on top of it too, anything that people tried to hand Tony he took care of, something none of his other guards had done, and it had many a time left him looking like an asshole as he adamantly refused to touch anything people attempted to hand him. It wasn’t something he could publicly address either, well at least not the root cause for it, not with how the country adored Howard. They had only ever seen what Howard had wanted them to and the years with his mother had trained Tony very well in how to hide the dirty secrets in his life, his nanites hiding the white scars that ran across his hands that he’d received when he was four, hiding the scars on his arms from lab explosions or Howard’s soldering iron. Other burns he currently had from his tinkering were merely cosmetic, nothing that would scar in the long run, his threshold for pain higher than most people’s, the Amaryllis blooms on Steve’s hands would fade long before he woke. 

The papers hid him from anyone who would take advantage of him, fabricating Tony into, The Tony Stark. When he would refuse to accept things handed to him he was just left looking, yet again, like the out-of-touch rich kid that didn’t want to deal with regular people or couldn’t be bothered to care about those he deemed ‘beneath’ him. Rhodey had told him not to worry, he had created the image with the media that he had to keep people away and anyone who actually cared would take the time to get to know Tony and see him for who he was, not the person the media portrayed him as. Tony rolled his eyes, no one stuck around him long enough to get to know him, they just wanted 15 minutes of fame or money or sex, it was why he took a long while to truly let people in, and anyone that he did let in saw that it was for obvious reasons, but once he let you in, it was because he trusted you, and trust didn’t come easily to Tony. Happy had been the newest member to earn entry onto that very short list of people.

Tony slid into a seat at the back of a coffee shop with a hoodie on and a baseball cap pulled low, Tony had been careful in his exit from Stark Industries, he didn’t need to be followed around all day and he definitely didn’t want to deal with the press, he’d changed clothes after entering the building and then come out the side entrance snuck past the front entrance and down the street to a car that he never drove around in and had hopped into the back seat, earning an eye roll from Happy as the man drove to the cafe that was just about 10 blocks away from SI and was located on the beachfront near the pier, he had given Happy the list of questions he’d made up for the interview. “Tony I’m not sure about this.” Happy grumbled, he wasn’t sure about this level of responsibility.

“Come on Happy, I’ll be right behind you guys listening in, I just need someone who isn’t me to do this interview, someone who can deflect them if they start getting weird. Someone who cares about me, about my safety, and cares about what happens, and I can’t do it, I want to be able to hang back and get a feel for her before we officially meet. You know as well as anyone that people tend to act differently when they see me. I don’t want to have to fight through months of a fake persona before she shows her true colors.” Tony explained as he settled down with his laptop he was thrilled to get some time out of the office to work on his project deadlines that were coming up and to work on some more intricate coding for J.A.R.V.I.S. Happy sighed and nodded he had seen his fair share of people turn on a fake smile or get uncharacteristically flirty with Tony when he was near. Happy had needed to hold off his fair share of people trying to get through him to Tony over the last 8 months to know and understand exactly what Tony was talking about, and the way Tony described it had made it sound much more like a thing Happy should be concerned about. Happy had to chuckle at Tony's ability to twist words and to get people on his side and to see things his way was uncanny, and yet he fell victim to it every time. He really should have known better by now. The man could show up an hour late to a meeting with the government or a board of directors meeting and twist the situation around in a matter of minutes to have them eating out of his hand, of course he’d be able to talk him into interviewing someone.

“Fine.” Tony just smiled back into Happy’s grumpy expression. “And we are here so early, why?” Happy asked, he knew the answer but after agreeing to interview the assistant candidate he wanted to annoy the billionaire a little.

Tony shrugged and took a sip of his coffee before answering. “I wanted out of the office, Obie’s been driving me nuts for those new missile prototypes.”

Happy had thought as much “Tony I thought you were done with those last week, why not give them to him?” Happy still hadn’t caught onto Tony’s perfectionist streak when it came to the military, or the all-consuming need to prove himself when it came to the absolute protection of the military. Tony may have trusted Happy, but he wasn’t in the habit of opening up about the shield that marred the side of his ribs. Due to this Happy still didn’t truly understand the full scope of why Tony was so intent on making sure he had the back of America’s troops. Rhodey nor Happy knew that his commitment to the weapons he manufactured was really to appease the mark on his side. Howard’s voice was still clear in Tony’s head; he wasn’t worth Captain Rogers or Sergeant Barnes and he never would be. Tony was up against an insurmountable wall, that was his attempt to make his dead soulmates proud, not to be worthy of them, because to him that was an impossibility, he just would have wanted to make them proud.

“Because it's not ready, and it's the way he asked, well more demanded. Either way, it doesn’t matter, it's not ready, Obie doesn’t have the passion for innovation and that missiles could be better and I’m not giving the military anything unless it's perfect. He just sees the deadline, I see a completed project that could be better, so much better.” Tony said, Happy just rolled his eyes.

Happy clapped Tony gently on the shoulder as a refill for his cup of black coffee came around with the waitress along with a blueberry muffin that landed on the table “That’s just like you Tony,” Happy relented appreciating the commitment and passion Tony had for making sure he got the products he sold right and made sure they were the most effective ones on the market.

“I didn’t order that.” Tony objected, poking at the muffin, noticing that it was however his favorite flavor of muffin.

“I know, I did, you haven’t had anything to eat since yesterday” Happy challenged Tony knowing full well the man hadn’t touched his normal morning smoothie. Not that he hadn’t wanted to, it was just that even now after DUM-E had been banned from making Tony’s smoothie the overzealous bot still was convinced that Motor oil would help Tony function better as it did for himself, You and Butterfingers. So instead of the normal morning smoothie, Tony had been trying to implement to be a little more healthy at Happy and Rhodey’s request, but this morning he had reverted to his old starter, a bump, black coffee, and whiskey.

“I got a smoothie this morning,” Tony said not wanting to admit that he’d yet again, went with drugs and alcohol to start his morning instead of the smoothie Happy had been trying to get him to adopt instead.

“And how much did you get to drink before Dum-E put motor oil in it?”

“None.”

“Exactly now eat the muffin.”

“Yes, Mom,” Tony grumbled with an eye roll glad that Happy didn’t press too much more. Happy gave him a nod before disappearing to do a lap and secure the perimeter. Tony got to work, he’d had JARVIS run a background check on this new assistant the night before. He opened the file and was happy to find that with her background and intellect she may actually be able to keep up with him at least a bit, her background in robotics had been why he was willing to interview her. Now she’d piqued his interest on the intellectual side of things, and if things went well with the upcoming interview she would be his pick. One that hopefully would be more loyal to him than his past assistants had been, they always seemed more loyal to the person who had gotten them the job. Happy walked out of the cafe, going to sit down in the parking lot to wait, after much cajoling from Tony that he would be fine, no one had recognized him and Happy could see the door from the car if he was needed. 

Tony finally was able to relax and start on his work, he was two hours early for the interview because he did want to get work done before the interview started. Happy knew it was also an excuse for him to get out of the office, Obie had been knocking on Tony’s door constantly for the last three weeks. Something that was driving Tony up a wall. It wasn’t like Tony didn’t have enough going on in his life, Peggy had just been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and Tony had not taken that well. He’d spiraled for the next week after he’d received the news. He’d dove headlong into research about the disease. He couldn’t help but feel like he’d failed her, one of the last people he had seen as a parental figure and as a connection to Steve and Bucky was slowly losing her memory. He hadn’t gone to see her in years, Rhodey had finally talked him into going to see her to break him out of his spiral. Tony had been terrified of their interaction the entire way to visit her back in New York, the horror stories of people forgetting their loved ones fresh on his mind, even though he logically knew she was in the very beginning stages. 

When he’d gotten back Obie had immediately started his barrage on Tony’s door, mad that Tony had taken a trip without informing him. Obie hadn’t cared that Peggy was diagnosed with an incurable disease. Tony had taken the problem to the RJBC Foundation as a way of coping, so he could feel like he was at least doing something even though he wasn’t that kind of doctor. He had spent the plane rides to and from New York finding promising trials and studies on the disease that were working towards finding a cure and sending them to Candice so she could send them money from the RJBC. Stacking that news on top of the company deadlines, department meetings, and the speaking engagements he had lined up for that week. Obie had slowly shown he was much more about the business than he was about Tony, but still Tony wasn’t able to see past the fact that Obie had always been there for him as a child. He just told himself that Obie was just looking out for the company’s best interests while he was distracted.

Tony hunkered down in his booth making sure no one could see him, his back to the door, the hood of his lightweight black hoodie pulled up over his chocolate brown hair. The hoodie was covered in holes though and smelt of grease, gas, and burnt metal. His dark wash jeans were expensive but not the normal designer pair he wore out and about when he was expecting to be seen, he’d very purposefully kept himself below the radar with the black baseball cap, hoodie, and jeans, none of it making him look like the billionaire he was. He kept his laptop close as he worked, keeping a keen ear out for people around him in case he was recognized, and for the interview that would go on behind him in two hours. As he sat at the booth he found himself continuously distracted as his mind whirled focusing on the random snippets of conversation he was hearing around the cafe. He needed to create a portable digital music system for himself so he could work while he was out and about and still be able to drown out the noise of the people around him when he wanted to. But for that day he was glad he hadn’t done that yet, well he would be.

Two people sat down in the booth behind Tony. He heard them shuffling around as they got settled papers rustling and coffee cups clinking down. “Sunset, you know what the objective here is.” Tony stiffened, he knew that voice. He immediately hit the record button on his phone, pulling J.A.R.V.I.S.’s command window up on his computer screen.

The other scoffed if Tony wasn’t mistaken it sounded gentler and more feminine. “Of course I do Ty, get Stark to hire me then funnel things back to you so we can release them first.”

“Exactly,” That voice immediately caused Tony to freeze, forcing him to take long slow breaths as he fought against the instinct run that was ingrained in the 15-year-old version of himself whenever Ty Stone was mentioned. “Stark has always been ahead of the game on everything, we would have a shot at the military contracts without him in the picture. He’s wiping us and Hammertech off the map with his tech. To get into the game we need to take him down, and then provide them with the solutions they are looking for.”

“How do you propose we do that Ty, you’ve tried to steal Stark designs since your time at Phillips Academy. Even when we were at MIT you tried and failed cause you got made about a supposed soul mark.”

“Damnit Sunset I told you he has one.”

“Sure Ty, the gossip mags have caught him shirtless enough he doesn’t have a mark where you said it was.” 

“This is Tony, he’s a step ahead of everyone, which is why we are trying to gain the upper head here!” Ty was perturbed by Sunset’s lack of faith in his story that Tony had a soul mark. “Which is where you come in, you're going to be his assistant and have the closest access to him and their designs. So you are going to steal the designs, send them to us, then you’re going to mess with them just enough to slow them down.”

“How do you propose I do that?”

“I don’t know Sunset you’re smart, change a few numbers, and measurements, delete a necessary equation or parameter so it just looks like someone forgot to do something or measured wrong so they have to go back over it all,” Ty said exasperated with the finicky details. Tony had to hand it to Ty, he was good at planning. Ty had already shown that he could play a complex and thoughtful long game. Tony knew Ty had toyed with industrial espionage in the past but now he had proof of that exact thing happening on record. As Tony listened to their plan he was on high alert. How did he stop them from doing this? Then, he had an even crazier idea, what if he didn’t stop them… What if he let them think they were pulling a fast one over on him.

Tony’s finger sprang to life as he typed out instructions on to J.A.R.V.I.S.’s command window. He had the advantage here and he was determined to keep it. He set up J.A.R.V.I.S. to take on even more of his assistant responsibilities, he wasn’t going to leave himself open to outside tampering from his new assistant to be. He then went into the mainframe of his servers and the Stark Industries database and set up a new private server that would be guarded by J.A.R.V.I.S. and separate from Stark Industries. He partitioned the hard drive, setting up a one-way system, one where he could upload things and change things but no one else could send their changes back to the real servers, he ever set up dummy accounts to make it look realistic. Tony gave J.A.R.V.I.S. orders to set up the mirrored system and keep a log of all activity on it. He then set up safety protocols that would use facial recognition software at his desk so if Sunset ever tried to get onto his computer J.A.R.V.I.S. would recognize her and only let her onto her separate drive and system. The monitoring would be so he could keep a close eye on what designs were taken and how Sunset was modifying them after she sent them to Ty. But not before he would be taking a page out of Ty’s book, messing with his designs and modifying them. Ty would be getting his sloppy seconds, Tony would give them his rejects and the projects the board wanted him to do that he saw no merit in, he would be in control of the demise that would be Viastone through the systematic failure of their soon to be notoriously defective and fussy weapons.

Tony’s fingers were flying deftly across his keyboard as he coded in the project, his jaw was clenched, and his muscles were stiff, he focused on keeping his breathing steady, even now over ten years later Ty Stone’s voice gave Tony a visceral reaction. He still had to close his eyes every few minutes to take a few deep breaths. He set his jaw each time afterward his issues with Ty were not going to take this too, not when Ty had served up his own justice to Tony on a silver platter. Tony was not going to let this chance go to ruin. 

Tony had J.A.R.V.I.S. load the conversation onto his personal server he had at home, one that he backed up onto another one that was kept off the internet in case anything was ever to happen to his home security. Ty finally left the cafe with 30 minutes to go before the interview time that Sunset had suggested to work best for her. Tony worked new systems into J.A.R.V.I.S.’ protocols, making J.A.R.V.I.S. Essentially his perfect assistant/ secretary he linked J.A.R.V.I.S. to his computer and phone to fully automate his life. He even laid out a base model design for a watch that would buzz whenever he needed to be notified of something. Sure over the next few years Tony would need to work a little harder but in the end, it would be worth it to watch Ty go down.

Tony stayed and listened to the interview, he had to admit Sunset was good, had he not sat in on the private meeting with her and Ty it would have taken him a while to figure her out he was sure. But luckily, in this case, Tony knew the truth and he didn’t have to guess. He knew he could be better than her and Ty, he could outsmart them, but until such a time where he could make his checkmate move, he would wait and play this game. He was sure he could hold his own and be a better adversary than they expected him to be especially when he had all the cards. He’d already looked up Sunset and knew she was gorgeous on top of being smart. He sighed shaking his head, knowing he would probably have to lean into and live up to his rumored reputation a little bit when it came to Sunset, and after all what was a little bit of one way hate sex. Besides, it would be wonderful to see her face when she couldn’t see his mark. Besides sex still worked as a great stress reliever and from the sound of it he would need that in the next bit of time. Over the years the papers had cultivated a reputation for him, they always said that at some point he was dating his assistant. Most of the time if he did date them it was after they had been fired, and it wasn’t very often that he did, he was too focused on other things. He’d had a few articles even written about him that he fired his assistants so he could go out with them, which never was the case. They all had been fired for the lack of attention to details, the lack of telling him the right time for meetings, losing things, and other basic things that he needed to be done. With all the reputation he’d gained as a playboy and for philandering around he knew when he fired someone the reasons needed to be airtight, which they always were he’d even caught a few of his old assistants spying on him and reporting back to the board on what he was doing as the CEO. It seemed that even now at 27, and 6 years as CEO the board didn’t trust him. Now he would have an assistant he would be able to predict from the beginning, he’d have full control of Sunset’s computer and her access level, he would know what was happening at all times. And she would be his protest hire to the board, and even though he knew her loyalty wasn’t to him he could live with that if it meant the slow demise of Ty. 

By the end of her interview Happy told her that Stark Industries would be in touch later that week and left, Tony waited until she left before he stood and exited the cafe, a smug smile firmly stuck to his lips.

Tony watched over the partitioned hard drive like a hawk. He had J.A.R.V.I.S. report to him any time any of the files were accessed. He led Sunset to go after things that he wanted too, making a big deal out of tech that either the board prioritized or out of things he knew wouldn’t lead to more than small contracts with military subgroups. He was smart about it, giving Viastone working models at first, then slowly after they had gained footing and when they started getting more lucrative contracts using his tech he started messing with the tech, throwing in loophole and coding errors that would cause mayhem on the military’s end, things he knew how to fix, but that’s cause he wrote the code for them. It wasn’t anything that a normal computer engineer would find. The things that only he knew would set off the errors with his background knowledge of both coding and how the military was using the tech he provided to them through Viastone. 

He was thrilled when the military came knocking on his door looking for a debug of their equipment. He made sure to keep Sunset busy with other jobs that day so she couldn’t report back to Ty that Tony was de-bugging the tech. He wanted to keep the illusion up to Ty that the military trusted him to do something, in reality, that was just the start of the grave the bugged tech started to build. Tony made sure Sunset only had access to what he wanted her to. Sunset stayed with the company for the next 5 years as his assistant the longest once to date but he had a master plan to bankrupt Viastone with the merry-go-round game they didn’t know they were playing. He gave them missiles that were out of balance and were hard to accurately launch and target. He made a satellite system for them that would help with targeting, but he made the firewalls so thin that a B level hack could get through. Although that one almost blew up in his face, literally as some green group hacked the system and fired a missile at Stark Industries. Luckily the missile's inability to target properly saved him and the rest of the people at Stark Industries that Saturday it did leave a nasty crater in the parking lot though. The military yanked the system down within an hour, thanks to one phone call from Tony who naturally was furious that they used a new satellite system and didn’t check it through him first. “I hacked the Pentagon on a dare in high school and you didn’t think to come to me to check that it was secure?!” He gave Viastone systems that were filled with annoying bugs, ones the military came to him to fix. He even gave them the specs for a missile with a fuse that was two short so it exploded anywhere from 100 to 150 feet short of its target. It was one of those missiles that exploded early mixed with the hard to launch and anticipate the final target that finally sunk Viastone. Unfortunately, it was a hard blow for Tony to take as well since he had been the one to come up with the technology. The Viastone missile had been launched and it had gone off course, it had gone sideways taking a shorter path than it was originally intended to take by 125 feet killing the 12 person squad that was trying to sneak into enemy territory. Tony shuddered as he heard about the accident, the Generals were done with Viastone and they very publicly denounced the company using the past failures as a scapegoat for the incident and for dumping the mediocre tech for a sole contract with Stark Industries. They were done taking chances. Tony however felt the accident hit him like a ton of bricks, was his need for revenge and vengeance worth the lives of those Privates. The guilt shook him to his core he’d done the one thing he had gotten in the game to make sure didn’t happen. He’d gotten US Army men and women killed when he was supposed to protect them, they had been special forces too, he’d gotten men killed who were in the same line of work as his dead soulmates and that made him feel sick to his stomach. As soon as the phone clicked down he had Happy drive him home, where he locked himself in his lab, drank, and worked on his new tech ideas until he was sure the new things he could roll out would be saving even more lives than they could lose. 

——————————— 2002

Tony was thrilled when he finally got to fire Sunset, he hadn’t slept with her once while she worked for him, a serious accomplishment he was proud of, considering she had tried to go home with him more than once especially toward the end of Viastone’s military contracts. He’d been smart enough to say no. He’d known she was just there to try and steal even bigger and better secrets from him. Obie however didn’t understand Tony’s logic but he never had and no longer even tried to, the kid was too different and it was only a matter of time before he got himself into a hole that was too big for him to dig his way out of, or so Obie thought. Obie leaned against the door he had opened without knocking, he’d learned over the last few years if he announced himself Tony wouldn’t open the door 50% of the time, while if he just showed up he always got in since he was the COO. No one was willing to tell him no except Tony, so he stopped checking with the younger man. “Tony, my boy.”

Tony looked up from his desk where he was working on new designs. “Obie, what brings you up here?” Tony asked, saving his work and standing to meet Obie.

“Honestly Tony I don’t get you sometimes. I don’t get why you fired Sunset, she was one of the best assistants you’ve had.” Obie said as he shook his head, he was secretly thrilled that Sunset was gone, she had been Tony’s pick for an assistant and he’d had a hell of a time tripping her up with wrong times or misinformation, she was smart and always had the times or dates of important meetings before Obie could give her the wrong days or times she even kept up with his parties, speaking and award’s schedules. If Obie was being honest Sunset had been a thorn in his side for the last 5 years, Tony had become more successful and even more trusted and influential in his business ventures with her at his side and he knew Sunset had been a major part of his inability to undermine Tony in the last few years. It had thrown a wrench into his plans. 

“She wasn’t a good fit anymore.” Tony snapped back at Obie with a shrug as if it was as simple as Tony got tired of her. Obie just sighed, shaking his head as he handed over the stack of resumes he’d picked over, only handing off his approved picks for assistants, ones he could control. The true purpose for this visit, his need to get Tony back under his thumb.

“Alright Tony,” Obadiah said, “here is that list of candidates you asked for.” Obie handed over a folder of his preselected options before exiting to go back to his office and work on a project.

Tony had asked for the list from Obie so he knew who he shouldn’t hire, while it had been five years since he’d used one of the recommended assistants he still remembered clear as day how frustrating it had been to work for someone who was only there to spy on you and report back. He pulled up on the back end all the people Oie and the board had dismissed. He was pouring through that list with the help of J.A.R.V.I.S. looking over the new candidate’s work records and schooling, where else they had worked, who they had worked for etcetera and was generally ignoring the rest of the world when a voice broke through. “Miss,” Happy’s voice normally didn’t sound so stern or loud, it jarred Tony out of his concentration. “I’m going to need to ask you to leave.”

Tony looked towards the door, his eyebrows raising. “No! I’m not leaving,” a feminine voice cut through back, her tone was assured as she challenged Happy.

Tony heard Happy’s voice cut the woman off “Ma’am I need to ask you to leave, set up an appointment.”

“Absolutely not. These reports need to be finalized tomorrow and there is a discrepancy that I assure you Mr. Stark will want to know about!” She snapped back, she didn’t yell which impressed Tony more than he’d probably ever tell her. She had just stuck to her guns, didn’t back down, it was enough to peak Tony’s interest, she had said he would want to know about a discrepancy and now he definitely did want to take a look, if only to see what she thought so adamantly needed his attention.

Tony heard no response from Happy but he was still intrigued. Had she left? Or was she still out there? No one had ever made that big of a fuss outside his door and refused to go through proper channels for a work issue. “Ma’am I’m not going to -”

“I am getting through that door Mr. Hogan and I really don't care if I have to pepper spray you to do it.”

Now Tony had to look, he was way too interested not to. He poked his head out of the door to see a tall lean strawberry blonde woman facing off with Happy. She had a packet under one arm and even in her heels looked confidently up at Happy her shoulders set. “Happy, what is all this about I’m trying to work,” Tony said cooly, leaning against his doorway. They didn’t know that he’d already heard most of the disagreement.

“I’m so sorry Mr. Stark she was just leaving.” Happy said looking at Tony apologetically he hadn’t wanted the commotion to disturb Tony.

“I was not!” Pepper Spray snapped back but she didn’t look at Tony as she snapped, she stayed glaring at Happy, Tony smirked, intrigued she saw Happy as the person to get past, not Tony.

“I feel like this will end quicker if I take a look at those documents,” Tony said catching her attention, he nodded for her to step into his office.

“Tony.” Happy hissed as Ms. Pepper Spray nodded curtly and clicked in through the door he held open for her. 

“Come in too if you’re so worried Happy,” Tony said with a smile and roll of his eyes knowing that Happy was less than thrilled with his plan. 

Happy stalked into the room after Pepper Spray a firm grimace set on his face. “You hired me as your bodyguard Tony, I can’t do my job if you won’t listen to me.” Tony just nodded hearing Happy’s displeasure as he followed Pepper Spray in walking over to the table in the corner for less formal meetings where all the packets of resumes for assistants were sitting in piles. He gathered them up, dumping them unceremoniously onto his desk. Pepper Spray cringed at the seemingly unorganized manner in which Tony was acting when it came to what seemed to be at least semi-important documents. The folders scattering on his desk haphazardly as they landed.

After the initial shock of Tony’s behavior wore off though Pepper Spray wasted no time digging into the packet of papers she had brought with her, pulling out what she was there to talk about. “I just had a few questions about some of the reports.” the woman said laying them out on the table Tony was impressed the woman didn’t try to hand them to him.

“What seems to be the issue?” Tony asked looking down at the reports, they were the ones he’d put together late at night a few weeks ago in the middle of the Viastone debacle just after he had fired Sunset, and had taken on even more work than he normally did. Work that he was still attempting to juggle. He looked it over and didn’t remember the form at all which was a rarity for him with his eidetic memory. After looking at the time stamp on the papers he concluded that he really shouldn’t write reports at 3 in the morning after 48+ hours of no sleep.

“Well, when I was looking this over it seems like there were a few zeros out of place.” Pepper Spray said, pulling out a photocopied version of the form that had highlighter marking up a few numbers. She placed the pages down “I didn’t think they looked right and when I checked them against the records from our fund allocations in previous years I was sure I needed to come and ask because unless we are going a very different direction, I don’t think that 5 million is enough for R&D and we haven’t had Internal recycle costs of 500 million well, ever.” Pepper Spray said showing where he had switched his numbers around adding zeros and swapping numbers, yea no more paperwork parties at 3 am.

Tony nodded to her “Good catch.” He said grabbing a pen and white-out and rewriting in the numbers for her. As he finished the work Happy managed to catch his eye as he was handing her back the papers, his eyes darting pointedly at the now scattered stack of assistant candidates on Tony’s desk. Tony caught Happy’s meaning and thought for a second before nodding “Say Pepper Spray.” He said looking at her, her bright blue eyes meeting his. “What would you say to a promotion?”

As it so happened Obie stuck his head into Tony’s office at that moment having heard the tail end of the commotion outside their doors. “I’m sorry what?” Pepper Spray asked her eyes going wide as she stared at Tony. She’d heard that Tony was a bit unconventional but she hadn’t expected him to offer her a promotion, although she didn’t know what the promotion was too quite yet.

“Tony you should think about this,” Obie said from the doorway.

“I have thought about it Obie,” Tony said with a smile. “What do you say Pepper?” and he had thought it through, Obie just seemed to forget that his mind worked three times faster than his, and that was with Obie being on the same level as Howard was intellectually. A testament to just how much faster Tony truly was than those around him. But in his mind it was already settled she’d all but barged into his office to catch a mistake, she hadn’t admonished him for his mistake she just pointed it out and asked questions to make sure it was what he had truly meant to do. She wasn’t afraid of confrontation and she had an eye for numbers, details and if he was remembering right she was Ivy-league educated. He looked back at her, seeing her questioning gaze, he quickly ran over what he had said in his mind as he spoke about the benefits, suddenly realizing part way through that he hadn’t told her what the promotion was. “It comes with a pay increase, we can negotiate the benefits and such since the hours are going to be crazier, but it's not going to be the same thing all day every day. But when it comes down to it I need an assistant. An assistant with great attention to detail, someone who isn’t afraid of confrontation and is someone who I can trust.” Tony said, showing Obadiah and Pepper he had thought about it, while also finally telling Pepper Spray what the new job title was. Tony turned to look at the strawberry blonde woman, she stared back at him, eyes wide her mouth slightly open as she gaped at him, her brain short-circuiting for a moment on her. Tony was patient as he waited, he knew it would take a second for her to process all that he had said. “If you’re interested I would need you to start today after you file these expense allocation reports, I have a board meeting later today and I would appreciate a bit of help preparing for it.”

Pepper nodded slowly as she came to her answer. “Ok, I’ll be right back,” she said picking up the reports and moving towards the door. “And it's Virginia,” she said.

“I know,” Tony said with a smirk waving her given name off with a wrist flick, causing Happy to roll his eyes “Happy, can you help Pepper move her stuff up here?”

“Of course Tony.” Happy said, turning to walk with Pepper out of the room while Tony rubbed absently at his hip that felt like it had fallen asleep all of a sudden. Happy explaining about Tony and his affinity for nicknames, moving passed a very disgruntled Obadiah, whom Happy warned Pepper about once out of earshot, Happy had heard Obadiah mess up dates and times enough to feel comfortable warning Pepper to double-check and fact check everything he told her against J.A.R.V.I.S. whom Happy also was able to briefly explain about and how J.A.R.V.I.S. would be able to assist her with Tony’s day to day life and schedule as well. 

——————————— March 19th, 2002 in Italy

The Soldier crouched outside the home of his target, his sniper rifle at the ready, it was an easy in and out job. Shoot the man as he came home for the day, then retreat to the safe house. The Soldier saw the car pull up near the front of the house, he readied his rifle flicking the safety off. The man stepped out of the car, locked his door, and turned to walk up his front steps, the Soldier’s fingers danced across the trigger fluttering quickly, two shots one in the chest and one in the head. He quickly broke down the rifle placing it into the bag he’d been given to carry it. He walked to the edge of the building jumping over the side as he landed, rolling to disperse the impact his hip got caught on something sharp, he didn’t bother looking to see if it was glass or metal, the slice in his skin wasn’t enough to hurt him or even slow him down, it’d be gone in a few hours. Candy Tuft. 

——————————— January 4th, 2003 Present-day Kosova

It was early in the afternoon when the Soldier was sent in, the chief commander of the Armed Forces of the Republic of Kosova was out to lunch with his son and another man. The Soldier followed them running across the rooftops. They got into the SUV a few blocks away from their lunch destination. He had been ordered to kill the man driving, but to leave no witnesses, a standard operation for him. He followed the car, running across the rooftops, he quickly scaled down a building and ran to the corner, it was a bend in the road that offered the cover of trees. He grabbed the shotgun that was slung across his back, aimed, and waited. As the car rounded the bend he glanced down the road and fired, his first shot striking the man in the passenger seat the next shot hit the driver, the car braked hard, coming to a stop in front of him, he could see the men inside scrambling for weapons, he quickly let out 25 more shots at the driver side door, and into the passenger seat. Movement in the back seat had him firing 5 more shots into the door of the back seat. When he didn’t see any more movement through the darkened windows he stalked up to the car yanking the doors open, the men in the front seat were dead. But when he yanked open the back door he was met with a surprise. The man in the back was alive and had plunged a knife into his left calf. Betony. The Soldier looked down at the knife in his calf then back at the bloodied man. He cocked the shotgun at his side and fired through the man’s chest watching as the life left his eyes. He then looked down at the knife and yanked it out wiping it off on his sleeve before pocketing it and returning to his handler’s to report the mission as complete. 

——————————— January 4th, 2003 Malibu

Tony jolted upright, he had fallen asleep in his lab. He glanced at the clock. It was 5 in the morning, he rubbed at his right arm that had fallen asleep under his head. He stretched hearing the joints in his shoulders and elbow crack. He shook out his left calf that had also fallen asleep walking upstairs to get a cup of coffee before returning to his workshop so he could keep working on the hologram screen he’d started to build a few weeks ago.

——————————— January 25th, 2006, Prague

The Soldier looked through the scope of his rifle, he knew he wasn’t supposed to have a favorite weapon, but the sniper’s rifle always seemed to fit. He’d relied on it many a time and it was a comforting weight against his shoulder. He shoved up his sleeves as he pulled down the bi-pod stabilizing the rifle onto the rooftop. He checked the picture of the guy he was looking for as his contact sent him a message saying the target was on the move. He then leaned down to the scope focusing in on the door of the building he’d seen the man enter a few hours before. He opened his eyes to gauge the wind. It was fairly quiet as he looked at the treetops, the movement of the building door opening caught the Soldier’s attention, he took a calming breath, aimed the rifle to line up with the target’s heart, and then fired. He watched as the slug hit its mark, and the target fell. He took a calming breath, reaching up to disassemble the silencer on the end as he watched to make sure the target was dead. In his calm and distracted state though he misjudged where the end of the rifle was touching his right forearm to the hot barrel burning the skin there, he yanked his arm back, looking at the skin. The burnt skin stung a bit but wasn’t changing color and he could already feel the sting and tingle going away. Buck Bean. He yanked his sleeves back down, he checked the target through his scope again, the target was dead, the flash or lights at the building in the distance told him it was time to go. He made sure to grab the parts with his gloved hands as he quickly disassembled the rifle before leaving the rooftop.

——————————— January 25th, 2006, Malibu

Tony rubbed at the itch on his arm as he took a sip of his coffee, he rubbed at his right forearm as the weird sensation subsided his eyes glued to his monitor as he put the finishing touches onto a new style of missile that would be about to duplicate as an unmanned aircraft.

———————————

Pepper’s job ended up being more hands-on than she would have ever imagined, she ended up being Tony’s right-hand person, she was his assistant and his confidant she was quick to learn the billionaire’s quirks and slowly she saw him open up more and more. Until one day she, like Happy and Rhodey, got past the highest of his walls and started to get glimpses of the man behind them all, the intelligent, compassionate, witty, gentle, and surprisingly quiet man underneath all the razzle-dazzle he radiated outward to distract the world. She saw the man under it all, the man who cared too much and had always been told he wasn’t good enough for the world. She saw the man who tried to drown his world in other people, in liquor and drugs. She even remarked to J.A.R.V.I.S. one day that Tony’s greatest masterpiece was the mask he wore out in public around those that he didn’t trust. She saw the man with more ghosts than anyone she had ever met. It finally sunk in for her why Tony had so many walls and why he had had so many ways of escaping his reality when she found the list. She had been working on a project one day when she happened across it. The list was a spreadsheet of names that was continuously growing, names, dates, places, and anything else it seemed that J.A.R.V.I.S. could find, when she asked the AI about it he only responded that Tony wanted a list of the price his actions had. She couldn’t help but shed a few tears when she saw how long the list was and how early in his life it started. Tony believed that the list was his ‘price’; the boy had barely been four and a half when the names started. They were the people Tony believed he was responsible for killing, it was a long list. She understood the weight he felt when she saw it, she now knew why he was so cautious about his designs. Tony wasn’t a stupid man, he knew his actions had a price and he kept a tally of it. After she saw the list she found herself willing to defend Tony at almost any cost, he wasn’t the man the media portrayed and she wouldn’t let him be dragged down by the vitriol that they loved to paint him with. Not now that she knew he was one of the best men she would probably ever meet. 

Rhodey approved of Pepper almost immediately, his seal of approval came when he saw her shut down a gossip reporter while she helped Tony into the back of his car after a particularly late and rambunctious party he’d attended. He’d even sent Tony a message saying he better keep Pepper around and that he wanted to meet her. 

Eventually, Rhodey did get to meet Pepper on the first of November in 2006. It was during one of his work assignments, he had just been appointed the military’s liaison to Stark Industries, the military was fed up with the stunts Tony pulled to get out of meeting with them and they figured if they made the liaison his friend they would get further with him. Rhodey had to acknowledge it was a smart move for the military since he was one of only a handful of people whose opinion mattered to Tony it was a smart move on their behalf. It also made sense, he had just been relocated to the base that was only a few miles away from Tony’s Malibu house and Stark Industries. He wanted to surprise his friend though with his new promotion to Lieutenant Colonel and the fact that he had taken over Stark Industry’s Military relationship. It had been so long since they had truly gotten to see one another face to face, Rhodey truly was looking forward to seeing Tony again. 

Rhodey lounged in the big conference room at Stark Industries the one Tony had told him was the comfy one that he put people in when he knew he’d keep them waiting. A meek woman had poked her head in a few times to offer him coffee, tea and told him lunch was on Stark Industries and he could have anything he wanted, he’d ordered two large pizzas from Tony’s favorite place knowing that his friend would eventually show up and he would need something to distract Tony with. He told her not to put in the order though until Tony was on his way. So until then Rhodey sat there and looked out over the ocean and the backdrop of the pier off to the side. Hijacking the comfy seat he knew to be Tony’s as he sipped his coffee and picked apart a muffin. 

Rhodey took a moment as he looked out to feel just how proud he was of his friend. Tony had taken the company to the top of the board in the world when it came to military tech, the world was playing catch up with Tony as it always did. That wasn’t a new concept for Rhodey, even when they had been at MIT together Rhodey had seen just how far ahead Tony’s technology was in comparison to the rest of the world’s. He’d finally gotten out of New York and moved Stark Industries Headquarters to Los Angeles and had been living out from under the shadow of Howard Stark for the last 15 years. His friend had created and built a name for himself over the years of excellence and dependability, and though no one said it around him Rhodey had heard the whispered nickname flit through the halls of the pentagon ‘Merchant of Death’. It was a nickname that was used on the internet; it had started earlier that year on a new site that let people share small snippets of their life and of news articles on the web, anything they wanted as long as it was less than 140 characters. He knew Tony wasn’t much of a personal sharer but Pepper was a very competent assistant to his friend and had gotten him an account and had started to post for the man, small things like his breakfast, his favorite foods, a quote from him here and there, the man’s extensive car collection and other such things that got a response. The one thing that people loved to ignore though was Tony’s philanthropy work that Pepper had started to highlight. People still didn’t know that Tony was the name and one of the biggest donors behind the RJBC foundation, sure it was public knowledge that he donated millions to the foundation but people always brushed it off as him doing it for tax write-offs not knowing he didn’t take the write off for his donations. 

Rhodey was proud of his friend for doing so much even though the world loved to try and stack everything against him, Tony was a force of nature, he bent the world to his will. It was half the reason the Military had appointed him as the liaison, Tony was notoriously hard to deal with and if anyone had a chance at getting the man to corporate they both knew Rhodey was their best bet. Rhodey knew his friend, he knew when to push and when to lay off and when to put the uniform aside cause despite it all Tony was still his best friend and sometimes that meant looking the other way. Rhodey knew that Tony had a hand in the incident that wiped Viastone off the radar for the US Military he never asked about the details. He was content knowing Tony had finally gotten some form of payback and he didn’t want to know if his friend had done so illegally or not.

Rhodey had been waiting for two and a half hours when the meek woman entered the room again “Excuse me Lieutenant Colonel” Rhodey turned to face her “Mr. Stark is on his way.”

“Thank you ma’am can you place that pizza order now? 

“Of course.” she said nodding “Anything else?”

Rhodey thought for a moment “Actually, yes, can you also get a fresh pot of extra strong coffee?” he asked with a smile knowing Tony a little too well.

She nodded as her back straightened suddenly looking much more capable now that she had something to do. “Right away,” she said walking out. Only 5 minutes later the coffee was brought in and she told him that the pizza was on its way.

20 minutes later Tony finally stepped into the room. “Ahh good you're all set up, let's make this quick,” Tony said flippantly not looking up from his tablet as his stylus moved across the screen quickly tapping at it.

Pepper moved into the room over to the chair that was facing the window where Rhodey was seated in his uniform. “Hi I’m,” Pepper started to say, reaching out her hand to the man who was standing up out of his chair to greet Tony’s assistant and one of his other friends.

Tony interrupted her as her eyes flashed to his uniform’s name tag then back to his face taking in that she was finally meeting Rhodey. “This is Pepper, she’ll be taking notes for us, hope that’s ok.”

“That’s fine Tones,” Rhodey said watching as Tony fumbled with his tablet all of a sudden. “Hi, Pepper I was hoping I’d get to meet you.”

“You must be Lieutenant Colonel Rhodes-”

“Rhodey?” Tony asked as both Pepper and Rhodey ignored the billionaire that was gaping at them from the other side of the room.

“That would be me ma’am. You must be the Pepper Potts I keep hearing about,”

“That I am,” Pepper said with a smile shaking his hand.

Rhodey smiled. “You must have the constitution of a soldier to be able to deal with this Manchild.”

“Ahh well, you know how it is as long as you keep him focused on the next shiny thing he’s golden,” Pepper responded with a smile.

“Excuse me, anyone wanna clue me in here?” Tony spat glaring at Rhodey, he had a solid idea why he was here but he didn’t think his friend would have taken up the job of Stark Industries liaison. When he didn’t get a response he walked over and took the chair Rhodey had been seated in rolling it to the head of the table and throwing himself into it waiting for the two people to acknowledge him.

“Well if he ever gives you trouble let me know, I may still have a few tricks up my sleeve that you didn’t try.”

“I may have to take you up on that, getting him to leave his workshop and take meetings can be a hassle.”

“Ahh yes, the workshop has always been a problem even at MIT getting Tony to eat was a challenge sometimes.”

“Hey, I’m right here.” Tony lamented getting tired of being ignored.

“How’d you do it?” Pepper asked, causing Tony to pout at the end of the table as they continued to talk about him like he wasn’t there.

Rhodey checked his watch before leaning over to whisper in Pepper’s ear. “Give it a few minutes and you’ll see,” he said. She looked at him skeptically but nodded all the same. Rhodey moved to pour two large cups of the freshly made extra strong coffee, he pulled out a nip of vanilla whiskey cracking it into Tony’s cup with a shake of cinnamon stirring in the liquor and cinnamon before setting it in front of the disgruntled billionaire. “Hi Tony,” Rhodey said leaning against the table next to his friend. 

Tony glowered at him and took a sip of his coffee. His eyebrows raised as he looked up at his friend. “Rhodey,” he answered back, taking another sip, the scowl sliding off his face, though the man still looked annoyed and skeptical. “Care to tell me why you’re here?”

Tony looked up at Rhodey challenging his friend to say that he was the new liaison. “Tony, you know why, and I’m not about to insult your intelligence by explaining it to you.”

Tony humphed into his coffee knowing the words would have pissed him off even more and Rhodey knew better. Rhodey waited while Tony drank his spiked coffee, it saddened him that his friend still had such a reliance on alcohol, it hurt even more that he knew he’d have to exploit it to calm his friend down so they could have a productive conversation. The few stents in rehab had taught them all that Tony was an addict and he would use just about anything he could as a way of escaping his reality. While Tony had gotten off the cocaine and other drugs, he hadn’t gotten rid of the alcohol, it was Tony’s main vice and always had been Tony’s biggest stumbling block on his road to recovery. “So you’re the new liaison.”

Rhodey sighed “Yes Tony.” he nodded. “Actually, I’m glad they picked me instead of someone else.” Rhodey ventured, knowing this next bit was a gamble for how Tony would take it even if it was true. Tony’s eyebrow cocked up as he looked at his friend. “It gives me a chance to see you.” He said his hand coming to rest on Tony’s shoulder. “Whenever you have something the military might be interested in.”

That got him, a wicked smile sliding onto his face as Tony suddenly looked like the cat who got the canary. “Well isn’t that something?” Rhodey smiled moving to sit down in the seat next to Tony but not before he saw the appreciative nod that Pepper was giving him. “So if I happened to think of something while in Aspen Colorado this next week you’d have to come see me?”

“It’s a possibility,” Rhodey said with a shrug. 

“If I have an idea while sun tanning on a beach in Bali?”

“If I wasn’t busy, then yes I would be obliged to come and see what you had, as the military representative,” Rhodey said with a smirk finally realizing that he was out of the hot water with Tony.

Tony and Rhodey turned to the paperwork in front of them and within ten minutes they had the whole deal settled. Tony and Rhodey had worked together as friends to settle into what Tony had, what he wanted to give, what he wasn’t done with yet. Rhodey promised to take the heat on a few things that the Military wanted but Tony hadn’t gotten them perfect yet so Rhodey didn’t push, he knew Tony would give them what they wanted when he was happy with it and not a second before. Most of the military saw Tony as a holdout, Rhodey knew better, Tony wanted them to have the best tech available but he wasn’t going to sacrifice quality for speed, something the higher-ups didn’t always understand. As they finished the door opened and the girl from earlier opened the door and quickly dropped the pizzas on the table. Pepper was stunned they had flown through the contracts and everything Tony had and what Rhodey wanted faster than any other liaison had before. Normally Tony stalled and argued, the liaison would pander and yell and beg and then threaten but Rhodey did none of those things he took Tony at his word and Tony took Rhodey at his. It was an interaction Pepper was impressed by and it allowed for the rest of the 2 hours accounted for in the schedule as ‘meeting time’ to be relaxation time for Tony, Rhodey, and Pepper. They packed up their work and ate the pizza Rhodey had ordered and relaxed in the conference room while catching up and in the case of Pepper and Rhodey got to know each other. Tony reached into a cabinet pulling out a bottle of whiskey, to no surprise on the parts of Rhodey or Pepper who just shared a knowing look of exasperation. Tony poured himself a glass and a glass for both Rhodey and Pepper who took them sipping on the amber liquid as Tony took a large mouthful of his swallowing the liquid that smelled like campfire and like it would burn your nostril hairs. He swallowed a shiver following the drink as he rolled his shoulders and shifted in place. He wasn’t used to this odd tingling sensation, he took another sip, but the tingling only amplified as he drank, eventually he just blamed it on the whiskey being only a 10-year-old bottle instead of the normal 25 year aged bottles he was used to. The nanites hid the blooms on the skin of his arms and chest as well as the scars they were originally designed to hide from both himself and the two others in the room.

Rhodey would have been lying if he didn’t admit that he was a little worried when he first heard about Pepper, at least with Sunset he’d known that Tony was pulling the strings. Those fears that Pepper was trying to get close to Tony for her own gain were quickly settled after he met her, she was just as protective of Tony as he was something that he saw her exhibit later that day when she put an over the top photographer in his place, deleting all his photos for the day while Rhodey walked with Tony to the car he rubbed at the tingling in his arms and chest absently as he climbed into the back of the car still believing it was just the alcohol. Pepper smiled at Rhodey as they parted ways, him to the base and her and Tony back to Tony’s Malibu house for more work. “Nice touch with the pizza, I’ll have to take a few pages from your book on how to corral Tony.” She said with a nod.

“The pizza is only ever a last resort, it's almost used as the reward for good behavior, I don’t even think he’s realized it's a tactic yet.” Rhodey admitted, “Booze in the coffee he knows is a pandering trick but always accepts it just the same, the pizza however, well that one I only try to pull out after and it's almost a bonus to put him in an even better mood.”

Pepper laughed, “Very few people can pull a fast one over on Tony.” she said with a smirk “Let alone play a Pavlov’s dog trick on him.”

“Oh don’t I know it, so don't overuse that one, if you do I’ll have to resort to something else,” Rhodey said with a pointed look, Pepper only nodded.

“Don’t worry, I won’t,” Pepper said with a wink sliding into the back seat with Tony.

——————————— November 1st, 2006 London 

The Soldier was sent into the restaurant, the vial of Polonium in the front pocket of the chef coat he’d been sent in with. He was waiting for the text saying which dish was the target’s. They’d sent him for the job knowing his accelerated healing factor would keep him alive even if he suffered some radiation poisoning from carrying the Polonium isotope around. He shifted uncomfortably the skin on his chest itching and as he would find later was red from radiation burns, blisters, and even a few lesions. Euphorbia and Forsythia. 

He waited, anticipation eating at him, he really wanted to get rid of the Polonium, the current reaction he was having was not a comfortable one, and while he could handle it, that didn’t mean he had to like it. The text came into his phone telling him which rolls were the targets, he was persistent in his next task, making sure to get the Polonium in all of his rolls. When the task was done he slipped out the back with a confirmation nod to the men in the dining room of the restaurant. He stepped into the back of the van in the back alley, the man in the driver's seat starting the van and turning out of the alleyway onto the streets of London. The man in the back with the Soldier was tasked with setting him up with an IV to counteract the Radiation poisoning he was being affected by.

———————————

Rhodey joined Tony that December of 2006 at RJBC’s annual fundraising ball where the projects RJBC was funding for the next year would be announced. Tony had even sent Rhodey a few proposals that year to get his input on them and if they would work. The proposals were focused on helping with sexual assault victims in the military, getting them both support as well as legal help if they need. Rhodey was very happy to be able to help and look it over with his military background. The RJBC Foundation had flourished with Tony at the helm, even if he was only at the helm in the background and not in a public way. Candice was the public figurehead and the one that everyone praised for her good work. They both knew that came with the territory since Tony wasn’t in the picture, even though Tony still called the shots, choosing what to fund and what to toss out. Together their current focus was to fund projects that other big companies wouldn’t fund because they posed solutions to the things that made them money, or things that wouldn’t upset the status quo. Studies and projects that were aimed at helping the world, cures for cancer, drug trials, legal representation for women and minorities, taking this to the military was just the next step. Sexual assault was always a huge issue in Tony’s life and one of the ways he dealt with his experience was to help others who had similar experiences or helping prevent those situations from being more prevalent. Tony had spent many a late night sitting up in a meeting room with Candice and Pepper sorting through the proposals, into stacks of yes, maybe, and no. He had been in charge of sorting the stack for medical research, Pepper had the one for humanitarian efforts and Candice had the ones for social justice projects. Each year Tony had J.A.R.V.I.S. pull all the grants and projects that had applied for funding but hadn’t gotten it because of either lack of Government concern or due to industries lobbying for those projects to not get funding. RJBC was a foundation that was set on making the world better, it was the one thing Tony saw in his life that was putting back into the world instead of making it worse. He didn’t look for praise in it either, he donated to the foundation anonymously each year, then would turn around and take the heat from numerous publications that praised him when he invented something new then the next week would turn around and call him a War Profiteering bastard with no moral compass unless it pointed to his pocketbook. 

Pepper and Candice worked together to co-host the RJBC Fundraiser ball Tony just got told he was overcompensating for being a terrible person. They never reported that the ball raised over 5 billion that year because Tony knew exactly who to invite, and who with a look from him would open their checkbooks and donate millions, it was a weird game, who could donate more, who could best who, publicly Tony made a small donation, well small from a billionaire’s point of view, one that the other billionaires in the room could rise to and then boast about how they had out donated him. Anyone who didn’t think Tony ambitious had never seen how fast the man’s mind worked or how fast he could calculate ulterior motives, react to them, and then use their pride against them. 

Tony was tired of watching the games of billionaires in the room, he stepped out of the hall to get some fresh air, it was almost time for the announcements, which projects would be getting funding. People wanted to know where their money was going, especially before all the holiday, never underestimate a man’s ego, he’d learned that one from Howard. He leaned against the cool railing, even Dallas got cold in the winter at night, he sipped his scotch, trying to clear his head before he went back in. He heard the door open behind him and two people joined him on the balcony, he stayed facing away from them, he wanted to keep at least a bit of his own privacy. It was not an easy task on the small balcony and was even more so when they started talking. He knew he shouldn’t be listening in on conversations but he couldn't help it. They were so close and they hadn’t noticed him or didn’t mind him being there as they talked.

“Tess you need to relax,-” the other person didn’t let the man who was talking finish, cutting them off.

“How can I Matt? This is the last chance we have to get funding, I can’t relax.”

The man sighed “Tess, the RJBC is known for funding things no one else will or does, you’ve gone to everyone for funding, they’d be nuts if they didn’t pick our projects.” The man presumably Matt told the woman behind him.

“What if they don’t see the value in curing cancer instead of treating it. What if they don’t see how graphene can help make prosthetics even more functional with the compound's ability to translate electrical currents and can act as new nerves for the severed ones. What if they don’t see the need for research into soul mate rejection, it's becoming more of a problem with traditionalists and their outdated ideas of soul bonds, their stupid idea that if you aren’t ‘saving yourself’ for your soul mate that you don’t deserve one, it’s awful, I want to know if we can reverse the reaction and for that we need to study it.”

Tony’s ear perked up at the last project she’d mentioned, he hadn’t realized that the cruel words Ty had hissed at him were truly a thing people thought. He didn’t realize rejection had been a thing that people did or that people had been rejected for the completely backward and outdated views that they held. “Tess, you and Karl have been working so hard to get the funding you need, it’ll happen. The work you do is too important to go without funding, someone will see the need for it and fund Cordco.”

“I hope you’re right.” she sighed. Tony held his breath as they turned and left “Come on Matt I think I’m gonna need another drink before the announcement starts.” Tony smiled as they left, Cordco had been one of the first companies they had decided to fund and would be getting enough funding for their projects, he’d made sure of it, and even now he knew he’d dish out any amount they needed, especially if they were working on all the things he’d just heard.

Tony wound his way back into the room circling to grab another drink before taking his place at the host’s table. He kept his eyes on the two he’d overheard on the balcony as the names were read. He smiled as he watched the tears of happiness and the gasps of relief throughout the crowd filter through the crowd as their names were called, they hadn’t known that all of the companies that had been invited were receiving funding. He watched the reactions to his first foundation and let a small smile sit on his lips as he watched all the elated recipients. The list of the good he had done increased slightly as he watched the good he could do with his foundation that he at one point had hoped to turn into a think tank for exactly these kinds of projects. As he walked out though at the end of the night he was bombarded by the press “Only 10 million dollars?” “Do you really think that makes up for all that you’ve done?” “Even Justin Hammer donated more than you.” “Do you even care?” Tony was escorted quickly to his car by Happy, he kept his mouth shut and his head held high. He wasn't surprised when the next day’s headlines read “Tony Stark makes the lowest donation at the RJBC Foundation out of any of the attending million and billionaires” “Fundraiser Co-host Tony Stark makes an eyebrow raisingly low donation to the RJBC Foundation last night.” they only wanted to call him names. None of them wanted to ask why or his thoughts. They just wanted a bad guy like always, and the next week when he came out with the latest in military technology they’d be back to singing his praises. 

Tony had learned early in the game to not pay any attention to what the media said, half the things they came up with were made up, every once in a while they’d hit the nail on the head and every once in a while they’d give him an idea to follow just to appease their incessant need to paint him as the bad guy. It didn’t stop some of the things from hurting though, the idea that words didn’t hurt was far from true, words had become Tony’s specialty, they kept people from getting too close, they kept people from realizing he wasn’t worth the trouble. It still hurt though when people wrote him off as no more than a playboy, no more than a child playing philanthropist, no more than a billionaire genius that had no touch on reality. Then they’d call him a futurist and a visionary, the man who didn’t know what the boundaries even looked like cause he’d never learned to play by the same rules as everyone else. They’d praise him and then put him down for those exact things, so Tony tried to not listen, but every time he heard or read about how terrible he was, he would find his thoughts wandering back to the same old tune of “Thank God Bucky and Steve aren’t alive to see this” floating through his mind with the same stabbing pain that at times still made him gasp and curl in on himself in loneliness to be a relief. 

——————————— October 2008

Even at 38 when he was alone in his bed he would expertly tuck the covers around him as he settled between two firm body pillows in an attempt to cocoon himself, sheltering him from the harsh outside world. While he had a steady flow of bed guests over the years, he knew when it came down to the end of the day he was destined to be alone. His bedmate from the previous night had long since left, not wanting to stay the night. Something Tony had been relieved by, at least she knew that after sex he didn’t want to just hang out and cuddle, while they both had been enthusiastic about the sex and had even had a drink together after he was glad that the conversation had turned to her letting herself out. So often they didn’t take the hint and stayed, pushing him to stay the night in his lab since he wouldn’t stay in the same bed as someone he didn’t trust. Then the next day he’d paid for the car to take his bed mate wherever they needed to go, as Pepper kicked them out. He was glad when his last guest had left on her own accord, taking the car to where she needed to go, he was glad he hadn’t had to hint for an hour that she should leave as he had with last month’s Maxim cover model. Now he found himself cleaning up in the shower his nanite homing watch left discarded on his bedside table as it charged. Pepper knocked on the bathroom door calling into Tony that he had a meeting in an hour and that she had breakfast and coffee waiting for him downstairs. He called back to her from the shower that he’d be down soon, speeding through the rest of his shower instead of letting his fingers run over his body while he examined the old scars and wounds. He walked into his bedroom toweling off his hair his jeans already on. “Oh Tony, I didn’t think you’d be out this fast.” Pepper’s voice startled Tony. He snatched the towel off his head very aware that his nanite watch wasn’t on covering anything, scars and mark were on full display. He prioritized hiding his mark. He moved quickly around the bed holding the towel against his side keeping it up by squeezing it in his armpit. Quickly he fastened his watch and pressed the side button. The nanites working quickly to cover all of his exposed skin. “I thought you didn’t have a mark?” Pepper’s voice was quiet as she watched Tony’s reaction.

Tony grit his teeth together, he’d hoped she hadn’t seen that. “I don’t have one of significance,” Tony said.

“Tony, how can you say that, this means there is someone out there for you.” Pepper was trying to be cheerful but stopped as she saw his face.

“Pepper, stop,” Tony said cutting her off as he yanked on a black AC/DC shirt. At least she hadn’t seen the mark well enough to recognize it “I don’t, they are dead.”

Pepper gasped her hands flying to cover her mouth as he took the coffee from the place where she had placed it. “I’m sorry Tony, I didn’t know.” 

Tony just shrugged it off Trying to get out of this conversation “Don’t, you didn’t do it so don’t say you’re sorry. I’ve known for years, I’ve come to terms with it.” He said pushing out of the room. Pepper looked at the pillows on the bed suddenly understanding Tony’s lack of overnight company and why the pillows were placed the way they were. She let out a slow sad breath before turning to follow Tony out of the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Floriography for the chapter
> 
> Amaryllis - Determination  
> Candy Tuft - Indifference  
> Betony - Surprise  
> Buck Bean - Calm Repose  
> Euphorbia - Persistence  
> Forsythia - Anticipation


	7. Chapter 7: Bilberry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, one YAY we finally get to Iron Man! Two I'm super excited to get this update to you faster than the last one, I've had 2 weeks off from work cause my jobs shut down with a pause due to COVID so I had more writing time!!! Three I had a comment where someone (Marguerite_ Thian) realized that I was insinuating Bucky in an assassination that actually took place in 2006, I’m so glad that they caught the references that I put into the story. I did look up the assassinations that are in the story and tried to make it as feasible and accurate.. well as accurate as a quick google search can be. I tried to pick realistic targets, ones the Winter Soldier could have done and would have been sent in for. Nat said he has been credited with over two dozen assassinations in the last 50 years so I took artistic license and advantage of that line. But there was no way Bucky made it through all of those hits without some scrapes and bruises so I wanted to delve into a few of those before Iron Man got started.
> 
> Those so far have been  
> April 30th, 1984 Rodrigo Lara  
> March 19th, 2002 Marco Biagi  
> January 4th, 2003 Tahir Zemaj  
> January 25th, 2006 Frantisek Mrazek  
> November 1st, 2006 Alexander Litvinenko
> 
> Yes, I’m trying to follow canon but it's obviously not going to be exact. I’m also so thrilled by those of you reading the story and seeing the bits of foreshadowing that I’m throwing into the chapters.
> 
> Four, would it be helpful to see a visual of the permanent scars that Tony has for before Steve comes out of the ice and their respective flowers that Steve has? I’m not an artist, so as much as I would love to give you a visual of Steve and what he wakes up to, the best I could do is a really bad photoshop which no one wants to see cause it’d be a disaster haha. Unless someone who is a better artist than I am wants to tackle it. Actually, if someone wants to do that it would be amazing and incredible!!!
> 
> Also, I tossed a quick survey in the endnotes as well. I figured that I might as well get your feedback on a few things for the story and what you'd like to see with a few on the characters and in the future chapters. You are the ones reading it. ;)

Chapter 7

Tony threw clothes into his bag for the trip; the crew at the private Stark Industries airfield had just texted and told him that the plane was packed and ready for him. He sent a message to Rhodey that the plane was ready to which he got a snarky response of ‘I know I’ve been at the airfield since 9 am’. Tony chose to not respond, instead texting Happy to meet him in the garage. Tony met Happy in the garage, he tossed his bag into the trunk of Happy’s car before selecting a set of keys off his wall, a smirk playing across Tony’s lips. Happy just rolled his eyes as the bright blue McLaren beeped to life a few cars down. Tony slid into the driver's seat and waited for Happy to get into the Rolls Royce Tony normally used as his town car before revving the engine of the car speeding out of the garage. Happy hightailed it after him down the 1 towards the airfield. His McLaren flying past and out of the vision of Happy. Tony parked on the airfield tarmac a few feet away from the stairs that he would be running up to get into his plane. The plane was indeed loaded, the attendants were working on finishing filling the plane’s fuel tank as he stepped out of the car to wait for Happy to catch up. A few minutes later Happy drove onto the tarmac as well, Tony expertly ignored the annoyed Rhodey that was currently glaring daggers at the back of his head. Tony really couldn’t be too mad though the man had come out of the flight hanger carrying two cups of coffee, and he knew one of them was for him. “Did I lose you?” Tony teased knowing that the McLaren was head and shoulders above the Rolls Royce when it came to a street race.

“Yes, you did.” Happy said, grumbling a bit as he grabbed Tony’s bag out of the back.

Tony just smirked at Happy, “You should’ve cut across Mulholland, it's faster.”

“Mulholland is faster?” He asked as they walked up to the plane.

“It can be.” Tony said with a shrug as he ran up the stairs to get into the plane.

Rhodey followed him up the stairs still holding the two cups of coffee “It is faster.” Rhodey said with a nod to Happy as he entered the plane that was scheduled to take them on the short 90 minute flight to the Yuma Proving Ground. Happy just nodded knowing Rhodey wouldn’t lie to him, they both had to put up with Tony’s antics, and while they loved him he was still a pain in the ass.

“Good to know.” Happy said closing the cargo bay of the plane which safely held Tony and Rhodey’s bag. Unlike normal, Happy wasn’t coming on the trip. He didn’t have the military clearance to join them on the trip so he had to leave Tony in the capable hands of Rhodey and the knowledge that Tony did have some level of self defense training and could use a gun if he was pressed. 

Tony and Rhodey landed on the tarmac of the Yuma Proving Ground where the Stark Industries engineers and mechanics got to work unloading a setting up the Accelerated Wave Explosion (A.W.E.) it was Tony’s second to the last weapon in Stark Industries’ newest launch, the “Freedom Line”, and it was different from anything else on the market. A.W.E didn’t send out any projectiles but it still made its target explode, or at minimum deactivated them. Tony had been working with different wavelengths to create the weapon, light, sound, and heat waves, the A.W.E was the culmination of all of them into a single project. It could be tailored to use whichever method best suited the target and the level of stealth needed. Tony watched the assembly from his plane with a glass of scotch in hand. Rhodey had gotten off and was chatting with the military supervisors who had been sent to oversee and watch the demonstration. Tony watched the crew like a hawk as they built the A.W.E. He only stepped off the plane when one of the men putting the pieces together had a disagreement about where a place should go. He put his scotch down on the table and got off the plane in his suit and button up. Rhodey glanced over at him as he walked across the field towards the engineers. “You seem to be having some trouble,” Tony said looking at the group, the men all jumped while the female of the group just rolled her eyes, he smiled at her. “How are you doing sweetheart?” he asked as the men around stuttered, not able to muster up an answer for him in time, unknown to all of them was that Tony had been watching their disagreement and could read lips. He knew exactly where they were in the assembly process, he had designed the weapon and put together it’s set up instructions. The instructions really weren't that hard, hell the parts had even been packed in reverse order and were labeled for them. 

The woman looked over at him, her expression not changing from its exasperation, but the exasperation wasn’t with him it was with the men who were working alongside her. “I’d be doing better if these idiots could read your blueprint.” She said, rolling her eyes and jabbing her thumb at the man she had previously been arguing with, Tony’s lips twitched up at the corner. 

He stepped forward to look at the paper “And what on the blueprint seems to be giving you guys trouble?” he asked as the boys finally caught up that it really was Tony Stark standing in front of them.

One of the men shuffled forward quickly trying to explain. “Well you see it's this part right here, she seems to think it goes with the base but we have been trying to tell her it goes into the Amplifier.” the man said pointing at the schematic in front of them.

Tony looked at the part quickly gauging the part “Well that’s stupid.”

“Thank you-” the man cut Tony off.

Tony cut him back off “No, it goes in the base, its 5.5 feet, not 5.75 it wouldn’t fit on the Amplifier, and if it did it would render the A.W.E. unfunctional on the lower half of its rotation.” The man opened his mouth to speak but Tony didn’t stop. Smartly the man didn’t try to talk over Tony. “And it's labeled, I put the number 26 on it because the part is the 26th one that you assemble,” Tony explained pointing at the blueprints where is said step 26 and then at the part where the number 26 could clearly be seen. Tony cocked an eyebrow at him before continuing driving his point home. “Maybe you should go take a break and we’ll finish this,” he said, removing his suit jacket, tossing it onto the top of a crate that held the next batch of parts.

“Sir that’s not-”

“That wasn’t a suggestion,” Tony said, glaring the man down as he shoved up the sleeves of his shirt. “I have a presentation to get too and you’re obviously slowing that down. Go, sit, have a cup of coffee, just stay out of our way, and try not to worry your pretty little head about it.” Tony said his tone bristly as he shooed the man away from the equipment. His tone challenging the man to even attempt to argue with him. The man didn’t he just gritted his teeth at the words, knowing full well that he had just a few minutes before told the woman working on the project those exact same words. How Tony knew he wasn’t sure but the look on Tony’s face said enough for the man to know better than to disagree. He just nodded and walked away towards the break tent.

“Thank you,” The woman said. Tony just wavered her off.

He turned to the schematic, grabbing a screwdriver and a wrench sliding them into his designer Burberry belt that like all of his belts he’d upgraded by putting loops onto the backside of the belt allowing all of his 200-800 dollar belts to be turned into the most expensive tool belts that anyone had probably ever seen. He loosened the belt by a few notches allowing room for the tools he was now shoving into the belt. He then rolled up his sleeves more securely to just above his elbows so the white pressed shirt wouldn’t get too dirty. Not that he was really concerned about that, Pepper was already going to kill him for ruining yet another suit, he wasn’t excited to see the dry cleaning bill after this trip. “Don’t worry about it Gina” he said with another dismissive wave as she opened her mouth again. He made a mental note to look into Frank when they got back to Stark Industries, especially if this was how he normally behaved towards the female staff. Tony however didn’t miss the narrowing of the eyes at his actions. He did however allow himself to enjoy the looks of shock on their faces at the fact that he was now helping the setup crew build the weapon that he had made and was going to be presenting in just an hour, if they held to the timetable.

Tony didn’t pay much mind to the looks and curious glances he was getting from the others, he was well used to the trail of gossip and the rumors that followed him around at this point. He knew he often started them, playing up the whole out of touch billionaire act in front of people and the media. But he also wasn’t about to have harassment that was so clearly based on the gender of the engineer happen right in front of him without doing something about it. It never came as a shock to him when, with the reputation he had and how much it preceded him, that people expected a certain level of debauchery and playboy attitude, they loved to forget he was an engineer and a mechanic first. He ignored the stares as he greeted each of the staff he’d selected to come along by name, before setting to work on the weapon taking Frank’s job over since he’d been the one to send him away. Hefting the piece that had caused the disagreement, and inevitably his involvement, onto his shoulder. He walked the part over to the base, getting to work attaching it to the parts already started. The stunned stares didn’t last long as the other engineers quickly snapped out of it and started to work with their CEO to assemble the A.W.E. What he never did quite get was how it always shocked people when he seemed to actually care about them and their well being. Sure it went against the media model they saw so often from him, but it also always hurt a bit that they didn’t see him as human enough to recognize suffering and hurt, and that they didn’t think that he did or could care. 

Rhodey just smiled from across the field seeing the interaction knowing that Tony had yet again made a group of his employees doubt all the things they had ever heard about their boss. Tony worked quickly with the engineers, even getting a few laughs from them during the setup, grease and oil stains creeping down the front of Tony’s shirt by the end, the edges of his sleeves stained black. Rhodey looked at the stains and groaned lowly, knowing that he was gonna end up with Pepper yelling at him for letting Tony ruin yet another suit. Even though they both knew attempting to control Tony’s actions was entirely impossible and they really could only deal with the aftermath and try to mitigate the fall out that trailed after him and his eccentric behavior and habits.

The presentation had gone off well, Tony had easily talked and guided the Generals through the features of the new weapon, and how it could even sync up to the current secure satellite system that they used to locate and identify targets. As the A.W.E. went through its tests the Generals were impressed but the interfacing system and how it could pinpoint the targets. Tony relaxed into his job as he operated the weapon though JARVIS and the satellites showing just how fast and accurate the weapon was with its nearly 360 degree range and with how easy it was to program, the A.W.E. could easily hit one target but leave what was next to it alone, a feature Tony made sure to highlight. The last thing they needed was the A.W.E. taking out a civilian target, such as a passenger plane or accidentally a friendly aircraft or vehicle. Because like everything Tony delivered his designs and weapons were lethal and worked in an optimal fashion to create the most damage in the quickest and most succinct way. Rhodey just smiled from his place at the back of the group as he watched Tony, wow the group with the functionality of the new weapon. The man’s skill for flair and the dramatics were all put to good use when he was presenting new products and ideas. The Generals were eating out of Tony’s hand by the halfway mark of his presentation and then when the physical demonstration came about Rhodey would swear to Tony later in the day that he saw every single General get out their phone to call back to their headquarters to start the purchasing process. Rhodey moved forward as Tony pulled out champagne and glasses, the plane attendants pouring the champagne for any of the General’s that made a purchase over 50 million, which turned out to be a purchase of 5 or more A.W.E. Systems, an easy target that all the Generals hit the mark of. Rhodey had long ago stopped being surprised by Tony pulling out glasses and alcohol from the most seemingly random of places

At the end of the day Tony dragged Rhodey out to celebrate the success of the A.W.E. at a nightclub in Yuma before they took a red-eye flight home on the private jet. As they lounged in the back of the club talking and celebrating Rhodey wasn’t shocked when Tony’s eyes suddenly lit up. He barely stopped himself from groaning audibly at the shift, he’d seen that look too many times before, he knew that his night was about to get interesting. Tony stood up and slunk across the room before Rhodey could ask him what he was planning. Rhodey watched as Tony paid off the band, causing them to stop playing mid-song, Rhodey let his groan of exasperation be audible that time knowing whatever happened next wasn’t going to be good. Tony walked up to the bar and quickly spoke to the man behind it, who produced two glasses of champagne. Tony nodded looking around the small club, his eyes zeroing in on a booth in the back, he turned back to the bartender who then produced a bucket with 3 glasses in it and an unopened bottle. The unopened bottle was handed off to a waiter, while Tony took the two glasses off the bar top and sat down next to a beautiful blond woman who was at the end of the bar. He talked to her for a few minutes before they clinked glasses and drank to something together. Rhodey hadn’t been paying too much attention to Tony’s current company, he was more focused on the three men who had entered the club after Tony had sat down. The three men had on black wristbands with a red X on them it was the wristbands that caught Rhodey’s interest as they joined the ladies whom Tony had just sent the bottle of champagne. He tossed the rest of his drink back as the group talked, the men clearly upset jabbed a finger at the still unopened champagne, the women just shrugged and pointed towards Tony. After which the men at the table had what looked like a very short discussion before standing up and starting across the room. Rhodey looked closer at the women as he walked around the outskirts of the club towards the impending altercation. He’d seen this with Tony too many times to not know what was going to happen, not that Tony ever learned or looked very hard before he sent champagne to a table. 

As Rhodey passed the table he saw the wristbands on the women with the same red X confirming what he now knew was the issue. All three women were very clearly engaged and were engaged to their soulmates, and had Tony looked past their hair and cute faces he would have seen the black armbands on the women’s wrists which indicated that they one, had a soul mark and two were engaged to them. Rhodey didn’t understand the old school practice, but he knew the old school mentality when it came to soulmates was one that had gotten Tony in trouble with that crowd on more than one occasion. It wasn’t a practice or idea that Tony bought into or understood either, especially when it fell into the same category of Old School that Ty had cited when he’d taken advantage of Tony. One that now, yet again, immediately put a target on Tony’s back, because to them it didn’t matter why Tony had sent the champagne, they saw him sending the bottle as an attempt to flirt with already taken soulmates. Rhodey sighed heavily pinching his nose between his hands as he rubbed them down his face in exasperation with his friend. The girl at Tony’s side finished her drink and left him her card on the table under the glass, he quickly picked it up, pocketing it. The men made their way over to him from across the room, Rhodey picked up his pace, he knew he had to get over to Tony’s side sooner rather than later, even for Tony three on one didn’t have very good odds. 

Tony turned back to the bartender, raising his glass with a nod to the bartender and then to the band who started playing again like nothing had happened, like Tony hadn’t paid them to stop playing in the middle of a set so he could talk to a girl. The men reached Tony before Rhodey. “Hey, hotshot, who the hell do you think you are?” One of the men snarled grabbing Tony’s shoulder. Tony put his now refilled glass down on the bar top before moving into action, grabbing the man’s wrist and twisting to the side forcing the man to hit the bar top where Tony proceeded to lock the man’s arm behind his back. 

“Hi, I’m Tony, who are you and why should I care?” Tony growled back, he really didn’t like people he didn’t know touching him, that was half of the reason he had hired Happy. He was also glad he’d finally grown into his family’s height and stature at times like this, he was much more capable now at 6 foot and in shape from all his tinkering and building than he had been when he was a scrawny kid at 5’9 in college. He was much more suited for a fight than he had been back then.

“I’m the fiancé of the girl over there that you just hit on.” The man snarled his friend’s stepping forward yanking Tony off him and shoving Tony into the bar top.

Tony was careful in his movements he knew he couldn’t actually hurt them, especially if he was going to give away who he was. He allowed them to throw him off his back hitting the bar with a thud the smirk never leaving his face “Abbie? Funny, I didn’t see a ring, and I’m sorry but she can do so much better than you. Even if there are three of you, none of you look like the type to be able to figure out how to please a woman, but I’m happy to give you a few pointers.” Tony said with a smirk his wicked tongue coming out to give the three men a verbal lashing in response to their physical reaction. “Hint it starts with Champagne.” He said the last part, unable to contain the sass.

“No dumbass, those three.” One the others said jabbing his thumb behind him to where the three girls sat their eyes downcast not looking up. Tony’s eyes flickered over the table, and this time he took the time to actually look at the women realizing the situation they were referring to. He then saw Rhodey off to the side only a few steps away shaking his head rolling his eyes at his friend as he unbuttoned his Blues coat draping it over a barstool. Tony knew then that while Rhodey didn’t approve, he had his back, and they both knew this was more than likely going to be ending in a fight.

Tony smiled saccharinely at the men. “Aww, boys it's been forever since I’ve been called a dumbass,” Tony’s voice syrupy as he pretended to be flattered before his voice changed back to serious with a hint of the classic sass and snark he was known for. “Actually, I don’t think I have heard the word dumb come up in reference to me ever. Jackass, sure, I’ve gotten that plenty, but seeing as I’m a genius, who was just sending some pretty women, who at the time were alone, a bottle of champagne. I don’t see what the problem is, Jake back here has more glasses, they don’t charge for them. Also just so you know, most of the time, when someone does something nice, the other person says thank you.” Tony mused with a smile goading the men into the fight that now even Tony knew was inevitable. The club however had stopped and was watching, it was a split bar, servicemen who all knew exactly who Tony was, while the other third were just townsfolk who, from the looks of it, seemed to be siding with the men confronting Tony. Tony would never understand the backwards thought processes that some small rural towns had.

Rhodey couldn’t decide if he wanted to laugh or smack Tony for his little rant. “Maybe you should look before you step in on someone else’s territory next time then Jackass.” The man hissed cracking his knuckles.

“I’m sorry was that supposed to be intimidating?” Tony asked taking a sip of his champagne as he motioned to the man’s gesture “Because it wasn’t.” Tony said with a laugh “And really why? What is the point of this ‘I’m a tough guy act?’ Come on Biff you can do better. Or are you afraid I could show her a better time? Because I can and I promise you mine’s bigger.” Tony had barely gotten the words out of his mouth before a fist was flying. Luckily for Tony it never made an impact with his cheek, Rhodey’s hand wrapping around the man’s wrist as he pummeled his own fist into the man’s face knocking him out of the way. 

“Maybe, you shouldn’t pick a fight with someone bigger than you.” Rhodey said dryly. As he took his place next to Tony. “And you, really, need to learn when to shut up,” he said to Tony who just shrugged acknowledging Rhodey’s words and staying quiet except for the few words he quickly and quietly muttered into his phone, tasking J.A.R.V.I.S. with something.

The men looked up undeterred by the Colonel standing in front of them. “Maybe, your friend should pick a different club,” the man said, spitting blood onto the floor, as a third of the club stood up, making a show of cracking their knuckles and or necks or draining the rest of their beers. The man smiled thinking he had just won. Tony heeding Rhodey’s advice stayed quiet letting Rhodey handle it. He spun around on his barstool waving Jake the bartender over. He was speaking quickly with the man who just nodded before taking a card from Tony’s hand walking over to the cash register and starting to work quickly tapping things into the system before swiping it. 

“And I think you owe this man an apology,” The man looked at Rhodey like he was nuts, “We’ll be just fine waiting here while you find your words,” Rhodey said crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Me? Apologize to him?” the man looked at Rhodey like he was insane. “That’s not going to happen.”

“Then I suggest you find a new club,” Rhodey said looking around the room catching the eye of the servicemen he knew, smirking as all the servicemen stood up around them. The three men looked around seeing that an overwhelming amount of military personnel had just risen to their feet. Rhodey smirked “I wasn’t lying when I said he’s bigger. I can almost guarantee you that over half the men in this room have been saved in some way shape or form by this man,” Rhodey said with ease as the bartender walked back over and placed a little black book down in front of Tony who picked it up and scribbled into it before he pocketed his card grabbing Rhodey’s blues jacket off the stool next to him.

The next events spiraled quickly out of control as a brawl broke out over yet another little one line quip that was out of Tony’s mouth before he could stop himself. “Go on, go run back to your little booth and let the real men do the work, and take care of the girls the way a real man should,” Tony said nodding over their shoulders. The men spun around to see a charcuterie plate, shrimp cocktail, another bottle of wine, oysters Rockefeller, and a chocolate fondue fountain with an assortment of fruits and other things to dip in the chocolate on the side. All things J.A.R.V.I.S. had promptly ordered to the girl’s table when Tony had gone to close out. Both knowing that their time left in the club was very much on the clock. The appetizers were all things that the club had already had on standby in the back for Tony since he entered the club. J.A.R.V.I.S. having called ahead, ordering them for when they got there. It was Tony’s standard to order food and share with a few people around him, not eat much if any of it himself, and then tip his server an outrageous amount before disappearing for the night and leaving everyone to go back to his workshop so he could tinker and invent.

Getting out of the bar was no easy feat, both Rhodey and Tony having to take a few swings. Rhodey even took a punch meant for Tony while he was trying to drag Tony out of the club as swiftly as possible. They stumbled out the back and climbed into the car that was waiting for them outside, ready and waiting to take them back to Tony’s private jet. “Seriously you couldn’t have stayed quiet for 30 more seconds?” Rhodey asked as the car started to move.

“And let that softball of an opportunity go to waste?” Tony asked looking at Rhodey like he was nuts for suggesting it.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Rhodey started laughing, “You really never like a dull moment.” He laughed. “That was a good one though, I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone’s face go that red that fast.”

Tony smiled, chuckling as well, “Nah life is too short for it to be boring. He did turn red fast, didn’t he? I thought he was gonna pop there for a second.” Tony laughed along with Rhodey as they escaped the brawl that was probably still going on in the club. “Oh I didn’t get to tell you the blonde I was talking to before the fight broke out was Abbie Rose,” Tony said with a wide smile on his face.

Rhodey’s eyebrows raised at the name “Abbie Rose as in the formula one driver?”

“Yep,” Tony said, popping the p as he pulled another bottle of Champagne out from the car’s center console. “And she agreed to join my racing team.” He said popping the cork and offering a freshly poured glass to Rhodey who took it.

“Of course she did,” Rhodey said with a chuckle, “well you got quite the story out of tonight if nothing else.”

Tony continued to laugh “Sure did,” he said swinging the bottle of Champagne up to his lips.

———————————

Just a few weeks later Tony found himself in Vegas at a craps table the night before his final presentation for Stark Industries’ Freedom Line. He was playing while he waited until the 8 pm timeslot, the time Obie had told him to be in the ballroom to receive the Apogee Award that he had been nominated for. What he hadn’t expected was to be interrupted at 7:30 as he flirted with one of the two women hanging out by his side at the table. “You are unbelievable.” Tony turned towards the voice, he knew that voice. He knew Happy was by his side and wouldn’t have let just anyone by, he turned to look up, seeing Rhodey’s face looking exasperated but like he expected nothing less at the same time. 

“Oh no.” Tony looked at Rhodey not expecting to see him until the next day. “Did they rope you into this?” Tony asked, suddenly realizing he’d missed the award ceremony seeing it in his friend’s hand. He took a step back, away from the girl to whom he had just been suggesting that he may stay the night to, turning and facing his friend.

“You’re unbelievable, and no one roped me into anything, but they told me that if I presented you with an award that you would be deeply honored.”

Tony found himself backtracking, telling Rhodey he was deeply honored, especially since he got to see his best friend again, who he knew had taken time out of his busy schedule for this. They were flying to Afghanistan the next day together, but out of Malibu, so Rhodey must have decided to come to Vegas and present him with the award. While the flight was only a little over an hour long it still showed that Rhodey had made the trip for him, and he had bungled it by missing the time. He called for another round at the table stepping to the side to allow his friend to join before looking back at Rhodey who was glaring back at him while he shoved the award into his hand. Tony almost grimaced at the glare Rhodey had leveled him with, ok he could understand that, Rhodey had taken time to come out and he’d left him hanging. “I’m so sorry,” Tony said, saying the words that weren’t in his normal vocabulary.

Rhodey just brushed him off, still upset. “Yea it's ok.”

Tony handed the award off to the girl he had just been flirting with, he didn’t care about the award he just cared that Rhodey was there, he turned back stacking the chips as Rhodey looked on, clearly unimpressed at how fast he’d dismissed the award. Tony knew he didn’t deserve the award, sure he’d hit a high point in development for weapons but he didn’t deserve an award for making things that killed people. Sure his designs protected people too but they also had exponentially added to his list of souls he'd one day have to face too over the last few years. He didn’t need yet another thing to remind him of what his legacy had created or in this case destroyed. The only thing he really found as a calming part was knowing that the United States Armed Forces had the best tech and weapons he could come up with; making sure they were kept as safe from harm as he possibly could. That was something he was proud of, he knew his weapons were the best in the business and kept America safer than it had ever been before. He immediately changed the subject calling his bet and holding the dice out to the girl currently holding the award “Give me a hand will you?” He asked as she blew on the dice in his hand. He moved over to Rhodey “Ok you too,” he said holding them out.

“I don’t blow on dice.” Rhodey sassed back as Tony begged him with his eye, even pulling out his nickname. Rhodey just repeated himself before knocking Tony’s hands away from his face and towards the table. Tony let go of the dice letting the dice roll on the table landing on snake eyes losing the roll. Tony glared back at Rhodey who just shrugged looking smug. “That’s what happens.”

Tony sighed and nodded trying to make the best of it. “Worse things have happened, I think we’re gonna be fine.” Turning to the person manning the table “Color me up.” Tony said before heading out of the casino with Happy the other bodyguards and Rhodey. Halfway to the door, Rhodey took his exit with the other military personnel reminding Tony to not be late for their flight out of Malibu the next day.

Tony followed Happy out to the car which had been pulled around for them by a fountain in the front. Happy opened the door to the car and Tony was about to get in when a voice cut in. “Mr. Stark!” He stayed facing away waiting for Happy to tell him if he should waste his time or not. Rhodey had put a damper on his stress relief plans from earlier that evening, if it was possible he could make up for it with the reporter. Knowing he’d probably have to get Pepper to kick her out in the morning. Excuse me, Christine Everhart, Vanity Fair Magazine, can I ask you a couple of questions?” She asked, giving her credentials.

Tony looked at Happy “She’s cute.” The man confirmed for him. Tony had to keep up appearances somehow and it had been a while since he’d started a new rumor about himself, sometimes he could swear that them speculating about his personal life was what kept the gossip rags afloat.

“She’s alright?” he confirmed with Happy before turning away from the car and turning on the classic Stark charm that he gave to everyone who was a part of the press and media. This was for a story he knew and Vanity Fair was known to not have puff pieces that were just there to beef up the page count. “Hi, yea,” he looked her up and down agreeing with Happy she was cute. “Ok go,” he said, stepping up to her.

She wasted no time getting into the questions starting with the classic idea of flattery first “You’ve been called the Da Vinci of our time, what do you say to that?” Tony smirked, smart girl, she had obviously read a few books on influencing people and manipulation. In the past, he might have fallen for it and opened up more because of the flattery but not now, he’d done this song and dance too many times before. That and the name she’d given rang a bell in the back of his head, which was warning enough for him to keep his guard up.

Tony nodded “Absolutely ridiculous, I don’t paint.” he said brushing off the compliment trying to look at least a little humble, where they painted him in that light would be a different story.

He saw her face change and knew to brace himself for what was coming next “and what do you say to your other nickname? The Merchant of Death.” she said leveling him with a steady gaze.

Typical journalist he thought, happy his instincts had yet again been right, nodding he answered “That’s not bad,” he did agree with the nickname. It was a nickname he’d heard before, it had originally started as an insult but instead, it became a name synonymous with his own. He agreed with the name, after all, it was his job to develop and sell weapons, and his legacy. The Merchant of Death was fitting. It was what he’d signed on for when he took over the company and a few bad nicknames weren’t a terrible price. It was definitely a price he was willing to pay to keep the safety of American servicemen and women safe. But he still felt the need to go on the offensive; it was his legacy that she was attacking and therefore the legacy of the military, which meant she was attacking both his soulmates and Rhodey, both of whom he was extremely protective of. Whether the jab was inadvertent or not didn’t matter much to him he was still going to defend them. “Let me guess,” he said staring her down “Berkley?” He asked, guessing the school she’d gotten her degree from, the manipulation tactics and bait and switch tactics were clearly a liberal arts style college and she looked like a California girl, dyed blonde hair and tan to match.

“Brown actually,” she corrected.

“Well, Miss Brown, it's an imperfect world but it's the only one we got. I guarantee you the day weapons are no longer needed to keep the peace, I'll start making bricks and beams for baby hospitals.'' He said, he could be just as stubborn when it came to interviews, if not more so, she could ask whatever she wanted but that didn’t mean he had to answer her.

She didn’t look impressed by his little sound bite. “Rehearse that much?” she countered.

Intriguing, most of the time a good little sound clip was enough to get a reporter to back off, but she posed an interesting challenge. He wasn’t one to back down from a fight; he was a Stark, Fire, and Iron ran in his Blood and Bones. He was one of the smartest men on the planet and he wasn’t about to back down from a little verbal sparring with a journalism student from Brown. “Every night in front of the mirror before bedtime.”

“I can see that.” She said acknowledging his lack of emotion as he’d given her the rehearsed line. This could be fun, she definitely was smarter and more fun to talk to than the girl at the craps table who just wanted to giggle and lean forward so he could see down her dress. 

“I'd like to show you first-hand.” he offered seeing if she would take the bait to join him for the night, his test to see if she was serious or if she could be won over by the temptation of sleeping with him.

She shook her head but the light bite of her lips told him a different story than her words. “All I want is a serious answer.”

He rose to the challenge. “Okay, here's serious,” he said, crossing his arms as he started to talk about Howard. He hated bringing him up but sometimes when people wouldn't lay off him Howard’s name was the fastest way to get them to backtrack. Howard had after all founded the company. “My old man had a philosophy, ‘Peace means having a bigger stick than the other guy’,” Tony said, his shoulders pulling in and his guard raising.

She didn’t let it drop though “That's a great line coming from the guy selling the sticks.”

Tony was ready with his next little shipeel for when people wanted to put doubts on Howard, pull out and recite his work and accomplishments from World War Two. He braced himself, he hated calling Howard his father or referring to him in any context that gave the man parental claim to him. He could deal with my old man but having to say his dad or his father, that was always a harder pill to swallow. But he always swallowed it, the country loved his dad, and no one but the dead knew just how terrible Howard truly had been to Tony. No one knew how many scars Howard had left on him, mentally, emotionally, and physically. He took in a breath and steeled his nerves. “My father helped defeat the Nazis. He worked on the Manhattan Project. A lot of people, including your professors at Brown, would call that being a hero.”

“And a lot of people would also call that war profiteering.”

Tony took off his glasses, he was done. She just wanted to highlight all the terrible things the company had done fine. He could play that game, he’d turn the script and talk about all the things they had accomplished; at least then it was on the record and she would have to choose to leave out those facts. “Tell me, do you plan to report on the millions we've saved by advancing medical technology or kept from starvation with our intelli-crops? All those breakthroughs, military funding, honey.” He said shutting down the conversation.

She did have a response for him on the scale of things his company had done, he saw it as soon as he’d finished his sentence “Wow, you ever lose an hour of sleep your whole life?” she asked.

He saw the opportunity and knew he could take it, see just how serious she was and with the next line on record, it’d be harder for her to use the content of her ambush interview in her article that she was clearly trying to write on him. “I'd be prepared to lose a few with you.” her face changed her mouth falling slightly open as she stared at him, and he knew at that moment he’d won.

Tony took Christine back to his Malibu house, he did have a plane to catch the next day, but when they were finished with their bedroom activities, he realized he couldn’t just ask her to leave it was 2:30 in the morning and he had taken her from Vegas to his place in Malibu. She fell asleep quickly in the bed next to him. He however wasn’t about to sleep in the same bed as a person even if he had just slept with her. He gathered his pants and boxers from the floor pulling the pants on leaving the rest of his clothes on the floor where they had been thrown. He kicked her clothes out of the room for Pepper to dry clean later that morning, J.A.R.V.I.S. already having sent her a heads up that Tony was entertaining a guest for the night. She knew the drill well by now. He closed the door behind him sneaking out and across the house to the master bedroom for a few hours of sleep before J.A.R.V.I.S. woke him and he snuck off to his lab. 

His alarm went off just a few hours later. He gave J.A.R.V.I.S. the order to not let Christine anywhere she wasn’t supposed to be once she woke up. “Of Course, Sir” came the affirmative response from the AI. “Oh and J, notify me when Pepper gets Brown out,” Tony said before running down the stairs into his lab a piece of toast hanging out of his mouth. 

“As you wish, Sir.” the disembodied voice said as Tony ran down the stairs at 5:30 in the morning, an hour and a half before the alarm was set to go off in the spare bedroom. He would give it at least another hour after that for Pepper to manage to get Christine out. He would hide down in his workshop until that time. He knew he couldn’t start anything new when it came to work, none of those projects would fit within the time frame he needed to be able to get out of the house in time to meet Rhodey without Rhodey being too terribly mad at him. He looked around the workshop, his eyes landing on the 32 Ford Flathead Roadster, now that he could work with. The engine had been giving him trouble lately and that shouldn’t take too long. Only about two to three and a half hours, more than enough time to get Christine out, he was already packed, so that wouldn’t take any time, he had charged the watch that held his nanite skin cover the night before so he didn’t have to worry about that for another month and a half.

Tony lost himself in working on the car, tinkering away as he renovated the car up to more modern day specs from the last time he’d messed with it in the early 90s. It was one of the few things of Howard’s he kept around, he was going to sell it but an old picture of Steve, Bucky, and Aunt Peggy in the car with Howard had changed his mind. Now it was sort of a pet project that he came back to every few years to keep it up and running. He worked with Jarvis to see what was going on in the engine, the AI running scans that allowed Tony to see into the car without having to fully take the components apart. It also enabled Tony to keep tabs on his work so he always knew where he was, what needed to be done, and where he had left off. The holographic screen hadn’t been updated to have the data for his cars yet so he was still using a flat touch screen. He was looking at the compression in cylinder 3 when the music in the lab was turned down breaking his concentration. As Pepper stepped into the lab finishing up a phone call. “Please don't turn down my music,” he said as he fiddled with the engine parts. 

Pepper ended her call and stood behind Tony. “You are supposed to be halfway around the world right now,” she said ignoring his comment about the music.

If she could ignore his statement he could ignore her’s “How'd she take it?” he asked.

Pepper almost rolled her eyes but answered knowing this back and forth would get them nowhere, “Like a champ.”

Tony then called attention to the conversation he’d overheard as she came down the stairs “Why are you trying to hustle me out of here?” he asked, still not turning away from the car. He knew Pepper didn’t quite get his issue with strange people being in his house without him there. But he hadn’t shared all of his deep dark secrets with her or Rhodey, normally she just wrote it off as Tony being quirky. Much to Tony’s relief neither Rhodey nor Pepper pushed him too hard on those boundaries or weird habits he had developed over the years, well normally they didn’t. Both of his friends knew that the oddities he maintained were from his experiences of people taking advantage of him and to keep people from doing it a second time.

Pepper instead chose to be professional and direct, not engaging in any of Tony’s normal games or banter. “Your flight was scheduled to leave an hour and a half ago.”

Tony tried again not quite getting why Pepper was trying to rush him, it only heckled him, it made him want to dig his feet in and camp out in the workshop longer. Pepper said it was a normal reaction for him to want to oppose authority, it was his way of proving to himself that he had autonomy. Something he didn't get much of as a child. He didn’t have to do what someone else told him to. He didn’t have to be manipulated or pushed around. He got a say in what happened to him now, and whenever someone tried to tell him no or put up a barrier he railed against it, it was as much a flaw as it was a strength. “That's funny, I thought with it being my plane and all, that it would just wait for me to get there.” He didn’t like not knowing why he was being rushed, cause that was what she was doing. She was rushing him, normally she just ignored his antics, told him the time schedule but didn’t push him too hard, today she was pushing him to go faster and he didn’t like it.

Pepper wasn’t having it though, a point she made abundantly clear when she pushed on with the agenda not even paying his retort any mind. “Tony, I need to speak to you about a couple things before I get you out of the door.”

So he kept talking. “Doesn't it kind of defeat the whole purpose of having your own plane if it departs before you arrive?” maybe if he stalled long enough she’d engage.

She didn’t. “Larry called. He's got another buyer for the Jackson Pollock in the wings. Do you want it? Yes or no.”

Fine if this was what she wanted to talk about he could change subjects “Is it a good representation of his spring period” he asked intentionally getting the name wrong, he had looked into art a bit here and there dabbling when he felt lonely and needed something that could give him some comfort. Something that could make him feel a little closer to his lost soulmates, Steve having gone to Art school and all. From what Aunt Peggy said Steve had been a great artist, while Bucky had just taken a few classes here and there, most of the time he was only taking the class so he could hang out with Steve. Tony had decided instead to collect and learn about art as his connection to them, he was never much of an artist unless his landscape involved a motor that was in 3 dimensions.

“No. The Springs was actually the neighborhood in East Hampton where he lived and worked, not "spring" like the season.” Pepper corrected as he wiped off his hands having finally gotten her to talk to him about something more than the strict schedule she was trying to force on him.

“So?” he prompted.

“I think it's a fair example.” she admitted having actually been the one to see the painting. “I think it's incredibly overpriced.” she continued, but Tony was already sold.

“I need it. Buy it. Store it.” He said making the call, standing up, deciding it was time to actually cooperate a little with Pepper. He walked away from the car, calling it quits for the morning, Pepper was very persuasive and he knew she’d be getting him out of the garage by the end of the conversation. Well that, and he couldn’t hold out on the plans for the day for too much longer, Rhodey was already getting testy and annoyed. He couldn’t have his liaison getting too mad at him, and now that he saw the time he did need to hurry or he’d be too late for his normal excuses to work. This presentation did need to go well too; it was the last one in the launch and based on the snippet of conversation he’d heard from Pepper, Tony was starting to get himself into hot water.

“Okay. The MIT commencement speech-”

“Is in June. Please, don't harangue me about stuff that's way, way, down-” he said, cutting her off only for her to cut him off back.

“-Well they're haranguing me, so I'm gonna say yes.” Pepper said, which Tony wasn’t onboard for he didn’t like being nailed down to a speaking engagement so far out.

“Well then deflect it and absorb it. Don't transmit it back to me.” he said as she signed him up for the engagement. He really didn’t want to have to go back to MIT if he could help it, sure he donated to the place but he only did that so he didn’t feel obligated to go back. Now that he thought about it he probably should tell Pepper that, then maybe she’d be able to deflect them better.

“I need you to sign this before you get on the plane.” Pepper continued holding out a stack of papers.

Then he realized she was being even more pushy than usual, even for when she was rushing him “What are you trying to get rid of me for? What, you got plans?” he asked, stepping up to her.

“As a matter of fact, I do.” she said, holding out the pen for him.

“I don't like it when you have plans.” Tony said unable to help himself, he didn’t know about the plans she had and didn’t like it. He didn’t like being left out, it happened way too often and he didn’t like it when it came from Pepper or Rhodey.

“I'm allowed to have plans on my birthday.” Pepper told him a matter of factly.

“It's your birthday?” He asked, feeling like an idiot, as he raked through the information about Pepper stored in the back of his head.

“Yes.”

“I knew that. Already?” Tony said cause he did, but he could have sworn it had just been her birthday, did time really fly that fast? Ok maybe he deserved to be left out of her plans if he couldn’t remember something as simple as Pepper’s birthday.

“Yeah. Isn't that strange? It's the same day as last year.” Pepper teased.

Tony felt like an idiot, first he ticked off Rhodey by missing the Award presentation the other night, then turned around, and not even 24 hours later he forgets Pepper’s birthday. He was on a roll. “Get yourself something nice from me,” he told her, trying to be sincere in his makeshift apology.

Pepper knew him too well it seemed, “I already did.” she said with a small smile.

“And?” he prompted hoping he could tell by her reaction if she had actually spent his money on something she wanted and enjoyed.

“Oh, It was very nice.” she said going back to teasing him.

“Yeah.”

“Very tasteful. Thank you, Mr. Stark.” She said. He nodded satisfied that while he had been an idiot, at least she knew him enough to foresee his fumble and get a present that she truly wanted. He was going to have to make a note of her birthday with J.A.R.V.I.S. for next year so he wouldn’t forget. His eidetic memory was nice and all but he had learned that the non-work related information tended to go by the wayside unless he was reminded of it.

“You're welcome, Miss Potts.” he said with a smile downing the espresso shot she had brought down for him as an incentive to get him going. He would give it to her, she knew he was fueled by Scotch and Black Coffee. He handed the small cup back to her knowing that now he really did have to head out so she could get to her own birthday plans and stop working as his assistant for the day.

“Okay.” he acknowledged heading for the door.

Tony knew why Rhodey was so on edge that day, it was the final presentation of the Freedom Line launch and Tony had hyped the missile up a lot. While Tony was fantastic at letting responsibility slide off him and deflecting it, Rhodey didn’t have that option with his job. He was a Colonel and shucking responsibility wasn’t in his current repertoire. But it was in Tony’s, so that personality flaw was compounded by the stress of Tony being 3 hours late; on top of him missing the awards engagement the night before. Even that Rhodey might have been able to handle. Add the cherry on top of street racing Happy to the tarmac and that the reason he was late was that he’d been waiting for his bedmate from the previous night to leave. That had Rhodey seething by the time he arrived. Sure he had some leeway considering he was the Stark Industries liaison but he didn’t like dodging responsibility or pulling those strings unless he had to. Tony could tell Rhodey was tense and so he ordered alcohol for them, he had learned early on that Rhodey calmed down and relaxed a lot more with some alcohol. What he hadn’t accounted for was just how wound up Rhodey was, the promotion to Colonel was still fairly new and he was intent on keeping up a good reputation. In Rhodey’s mind, this was the last presentation he had to get Tony through for the military. A lot was riding on it so not even Tony’s best attempts at getting him to calm down deterred him the way they normally would. Tony’s headache from the previous night of drinking was not helping him either as Rhodey lectured telling Tony that he could be more, that he could be better. But the words still stood out in Tony’s mind, his best friend calling him out, because the topic of Tony growing and putting in effort to be better than what he was wasn’t a new conversation. It was an old topic, one Tony had dismissed a while ago, Tony knew he wasn’t the man Rhodey thought he was or thought he could be. He wasn’t his soulmates and he wasn’t Howard. He was every bit the disappointment that Howard had always called him and that he was thankful his soulmates would never have to see. Eventually Tony just took a nap to fend off Rhodey’s self-development and discovery speech. The excuse annoyed Rhodey even more since they both knew exactly why he hadn’t gotten a ton of sleep the night before, with his house being occupied by someone he didn’t trust, whom he had invited over and all.

When they arrived in Afghanistan Tony took some time getting ready before he stepped off the plane. He’d showered and changed into a new suit for the presentation and made sure to wear the new body armor he had made as well, it was lighter weight and would stop just about any kind of gun at mid to long range. He knew he wasn’t in the safest area of the world and he was going to be traveling around that day as the weapons developer and he wanted to see what he would be making them for and how they were being used and how they could be better, no better way to test it than to wear the vest himself and see if it couldn’t be at the least more comfortable. As he exited his private jet he was greeted by a line up of military higher-ups from all divisions and even a few choice commanders from their allies in the area. He greeted the Air Force General first, quickly finding him as the highest ranked officer in the group, and knowing that greeting him would look good for Rhodey. He then greeted the rest of the group going through and shaking hands, before going to check on Gina having put her in charge of the set-up for the Jericho, he knew at least she could read the blueprints he made. After her showdown with Frank over the A.W.E. he’d put her on the assembly team. She wasn’t one to back down if she thought something was wrong and if she didn’t know she asked. Something too few people did since they were more worried about looking smart in front of Tony instead of getting the design right, he liked that she cared more about it being right then how smart she looked to the others.

Once Gina had looked it over she called him over for final approval on it, which he quickly gave before he started the presentation. Using J.A.R.V.I.S. he performed a quick satellite scan yet again of the hills behind him, finding no human life forms and minimal animals. Satisfied he set the target giving J.A.R.V.I.S. the controls to the launch to tie in with the end of his speech. He made it short and simple the headache from the mix of bubbles this morning and whiskey he’d had the night before not doing him any favors. All his talking about Howard the night before had gotten him to remember the Manhattan project and how despite Howard’s philosophy of the best weapon is the one you never have to fire, they’d needed to fire his most destructive weapon twice. So Tony was going to take that model and twist the wording a bit. But unlike Howard he knew you’d always have to fire the weapon, he wasn’t naive, so he stuck the middle ground, the weapon you only have to fire once. The blast of the launch really didn’t help his headache as he was knocked forward a few steps from the shockwave. Taking the liberty to throw a few aspirins in his mouth before popping the portable bar case he’d brought grabbing out his glass filling it with scotch, then leaving it open for the General and other higher ups to partake in. But not before he let them know that he would add in the portable bar cart as a bonus for every purchase of 500 million or more. Which wasn’t a terribly hard number to get to, knowing the Jericho was the most expensive weapon they had come out with to date.

Tony’s phone buzzed as he sipped on his scotch in the middle of the desert. Tony flipped open his phone to see Obie who was halfway around the world laying in bed, it was late back in California. Obie of course wanted to know how the presentation went, Tony glanced around as he walked towards the humvee that would take them back to the base so they could all talk numbers and have some food. Tony sat down in the humvee, the airman closing the door of the armored vehicle behind him. “Hey, Tony,” Rhodey called jogging up to the door. 

Tony leaned out the window “I'm sorry, this is the "fun-vee." The "hum-drum-vee" is back there.” Tony said letting Rhodey know he was still irritated with his latest inspirational speech marathon back on the plane.

Rhodey expected it though knowing that what he planned on saying was too long for Tony’s current attention span, so he made it short and simple. “Nice job,” he said, patting Tony’s forearm, the seemingly simple gesture to most was more between them though. Tony wasn’t comfortable with people touching him normally, Rhodey counted it as a win when Tony didn’t pull away. While Rhodey didn’t engage in physical contact often, to them the pat let Tony know that despite the stunt he’d pulled that morning Rhodey was proud of him.

Tony nodded, accepting the words for the unspoken apology that they were between the two long time friends “See you back at base.” he said as Rhodey moved toward the humvee group that was leaving in the next few minutes. He sat in the back of the humvee the boombox on the floor playing AC/DC but no one was talking. Tony was notorious for not liking awkward silences unless he was the one that decided on them. He managed to put up with the quiet for about 10 minutes before Tony broke the silence he wasn’t used to the people around him not talking or asking questions. It was normally the opposite extreme, not this dead silence, minus the rock music. He couldn’t take it anymore. He took a sip of his scotch looking around the vehicle. “I feel like you're driving me to a court-martial. This is crazy. What did I do? I feel like you're going to pull over and snuff me. What, you're not allowed to talk? Hey, Forrest!” He called out the kid sitting next to him who looked nervous barely able to meet Tony’s eyes

“We can talk, sir.” The nervous one answered looking away quickly from the eye contact he’d just made.

Tony kept going, he was either going to annoy the three into engaging, or he would just ramble and make them even more uncomfortable, either way was fine with him. “Oh, I see. So it's personal?” he chided the young man next to him. The kid looked so young, he couldn’t have been old enough to drink in the states.

“No, you intimidate them,” a female voice cut into the conversation from the driver's seat causing Tony to reel around in shock, he hadn’t noticed she was a woman, normally he was more observant.

“Good God, you're a woman.” Tony said now focusing on her features and seeing that under the helmet and equipment that she did have feminine features and was quite beautiful, he had just missed it focusing on other things. “I honestly... I couldn't have called that. I mean, I'd apologize, but isn't that what we're going for here? I thought of you as a soldier first.” Tony rambled pulling the others out of their shells as they chuckled turning toward him.

“I'm an airman.” she corrected her mouth pulling up in amusement. Letting him know that he was in an Air Force vehicle, and she wasn’t offended by his words. Tony wasn’t shocked that Rhodey had gotten him into an Air Force vehicle, outside of the country Rhodey was protective of him and was very specific in who he let Tony travel with. Rhodey wanted the ability to call out and discipline the people that Tony was around if they behaved inappropriately. The protective streak came at great relief to Happy who rarely got to come on military trips since he didn’t have the proper clearances. 

“You have, actually, excellent bone structure, there. I'm kind of having a hard time not looking at you now. Is that weird?” He asked as the women laughed, as well as the other two in the vehicle, finally Tony thought having gotten them to open up and start a conversation. “Come on, it's okay, laugh.” he encouraged, knowing that if he gave them permission this trip would go by much much faster.

The man in front spun around in his seat to face Tony “Sir, I have a question to ask.” he said, looking a little uneasy but also like his curiosity had gotten the better of him.

“Yes, please.” Tony pushed knowing this was probably not going to be any question he’d hear from a reporter but one that was much more personal and interesting, one that would kick off the rest of the ride. He would have to make sure to not tell Rhodey about it too, so the airman wouldn’t get smoked by Tony’s best friend.

“Is it true you went 12 for 12 with last year's Maxim cover models?” He asked, Tony could tell he wasn’t quite sure of how appropriate the question was as he glanced around the humvee, but Tony was glad for the distraction. This was the exact kind of conversation that would take his mind off the ‘you can be better’ speeches he knew he’d be hearing from Rhodey over the next few days while he was visiting the base, and this man was definitely older than the kid sitting next to him less outwardly nervous.

Tony dove into the question. “That is an excellent question. Yes and no,” he explained settling in for the ride that had finally gotten less stuffy. “March and I had a scheduling conflict, but fortunately, the Christmas cover was twins,” he said, earning a chuckle from the driver. “Anything else?” he glanced over at the movement next to him. The kid was still a nervous wreck. “You're kidding me with the hand up, right?” he teased trying to get the kid to relax.

The kid dropped it and took a breath before asking in a steady voice Tony was surprised to hear coming from the nervous kid. “Is it cool if I take a picture with you?”

“Yes. It's very cool.” Tony said as the kid reached for his camera. Tony and the kid shifting closer together “I don't want to see this on your MySpace page.” Tony teased the young kid seeing the peace sign and he couldn’t help but continue to tease the youngest in the vehicle.“Please, no gang signs.” the kid dropped his hand immediately, Tony couldn’t help but be amused at how intimidated the kid still was. “No, throw it up. I'm kidding. Yeah, peace. I love peace. I'd be out of a job with peace.” Tony joked as the man in the front seat tried to work the camera.

“Come on. Hurry up. Just click it. Don't change any settings.” The kid said not helping the man attempting to work the camera. Old technology, he should put a voice operated camera on the phone he was thinking about building, how Jobs hadn’t added one to the last iPhone rendition he wasn’t quite sure. Then the vehicle in front of them exploded. Suddenly Tony’s world started to move very very quickly and very slowly at the same time. The driver braking hard to not run into the fiery truck in front of them.

“What's going on?” Tony asked his brain working quickly to assess the situation, his headache forgotten and the camera dropped into the front seat forgotten, as the airmen moved into action. He asked for them to talk to him as the driver yelled to the others that they’d been hit from the left, as he could see. “What have we got?” he tried to get them to talk to him again, he was a weapons developer, their weapons developer. He could help in this situation, he was a faster thinker than them and he had access to the weapons he had developed and the satellite system he’d designed above them. He could get them out of this he was sure, if only they would talk to him. The driver kicked open her door to get out and return fire. Tony saw her fall with a yell that died in her throat as she dropped to the ground just outside the vehicle. Tony blinked, his heart rate rising as the adrenaline coursed through his blood vessels, his fight or flight response kicking in. 

But they didn’t talk to him because he wasn’t a soldier to them, he was just the billionaire in the back of the humvee with the three soldiers assigned to protect him. “Jimmy, stay with Stark!” the man just in front of Tony yelled back before kicking his own door open.

The kid next to him tugged on his shoulder as he instructed him, “Stay down!” he yelled over the sound of gunfire and the whistle of missiles around them.

“Yeah.” Tony agreed as he ducked down clutching onto the boombox, all he could hear was the whirling of the disc that had been bumped off track in the player. His scotch was still in his hand, although it was nearly empty now from the liquid sloshing out when they’d stopped so quickly, he was shocked the glass hadn’t shattered yet with how tight his grip was on it. He peaked up to the front watching the man who had been sitting in the seat directly in front of him set up on the hood of the humvee. The man got off three shots before he was hit, the window in front cracking with the force of the projectile, the blood spray from the now dead airman seeping into the cracks. Tony flinched and jumped, sloshing the rest of his drink out of the glass. He frantically checked his own chest to make sure the round hadn’t pierced through the truck to him.

“Son of a bitch!” the kid next to him yelled trying to get his gun loaded, he was the last one alive in their vehicle besides Tony. The vehicles to the front and back had been hit first sandwiching them in and preventing them from moving forward, not that they had a driver anymore.

The kid moved to open the door, Tony was shocked, did he not just see what had happened to the other two! This was the point to make a plan; a plan that was different than opening the door and attempting to shoot. That obviously didn’t work, as had been tragically proven by the attempts of the other two airmen. “Wait, wait, wait!” Tony yelled trying to stop him, but the kid was out the door already “Give me a gun!” He yelled, the least they could do was arm him if they were going to leave him all alone. 

The kid didn’t listen, he just yelled back. “Stay here!” he called through the glass before turning around. A loud explosion thundered next to the humvee again. Tony’s ear’s started to ring and he gasped as he watched the kid fall to the ground outside, meeting the same fate as the other two. Tony started looking around trying to formulate a plan, not registering the pain in his arm or legs that now had shrapnel embedded in them. Some would say he was lucky, the kid, Jimmy having taken most of the blast from outside only a few pieces of the bomb that exploded actually wounding Tony. Christmas Rose and Quaking Grass blooming up Steve Roger’s left leg and arm where the scraps had stabbed into his flesh.

Tony knew he had to get out of the humvee, whatever they had out there was strong enough to penetrate the armored vehicles, he’d have to work on that if he got out of this mess. He checked the area around the truck seeing the rest of the debris around the road. Another exploding hitting in front of him taking out the men from a vehicle ahead who had been returning fire. He was a sitting duck where he was. He threw the door open seeing his escape route he just had to get over the embankment and connect to first J.A.R.V.I.S. who could lay in back up for him from afar and then he had to call Rhodey. The scream of a missile was clear even as his ears rang, he heard it getting closer and managed to dodge away from it the rocks from the spray hitting his legs adding bruises to the injuries. Aspen. Tony ran from the scene staying in motion before diving behind a rock sitting in a ditch sheltering him from the direction the attack was coming from. He grabbed his phone out of his pocket as he leaned against the rock that was providing him cover, ignoring the twitch of pain in his leg and arm, the bulletproof vest was definitely being put to the test, so far it had held up.

Tony typed quickly on his phone, he really needed a touch screen, it would have been faster. And a larger screen now that he thought about it. He was trying to get in touch with the satellite system so he could get a visual and return fire. His mind had quickly shifted into fight mode, the adrenaline helping him think faster and clearer than ever. A loud whistle came from over his shoulder as a rocket landed just 15 feet from him. The impact gaining his attention, a wave of emotion hitting him as he saw the name on the side of the rocket. His name. He was under attack from his own weapons, from a group of terrorists in Afghanistan. It took him a second before he reacted to the missile, the shock triggering a slower response in him than he normally had. Slower than he needed to getaway. He knew what that missile did, and he knew if it was one of his then it was going to explode. He scrambled back trying to get to his feet so he could get back over the rock. His feet slipped and skid in the sand as he tried in vain to get on the rock’s other side. A few seconds ago it had been his cover, now though, it was an obstacle between him, his life, and his death. He had just managed to get his feet underneath him when it started beeping faster, he barely got his right arm up in front of his face when it exploded. The blast threw him backward over the rock and onto his back as he cried out. He hit the ground 10 feet away from where he had just been, he could feel the stinging in his right arm from the shrapnel. But he knew that the bulletproof vest he had on wasn’t fabricated to handle a blast like that. He looked down at his chest, the sting blooming on his chest, he could feel the warmth of fresh red blood leaking out of his chest and through the armor soaking his shirt. Pepper was going to kill him, well she’d kill him for ruining yet another suit if he made it out of this alive. He yanked open his shirt attempting to see the damage. All he could see was the spread of blood, holes littering the armor where the shrapnel had pierced all the way through, and the uneven terrain of his normally smooth chest made from the shrapnel that was still sticking out of him the bigger pieces embedded partially in the armor.

Permanent garden of flowers littered across the Captain’s chest under the ice and his uniform a bouquet of Christmas Rose, Quaking Grass, Aspen, Geranium, Red Columbine, Mock-Orange, Petunia, Dragon Plant, Sea Bindweed, Betony, Bilberry, Redbud Tree, Lychnis and Swamp Magnolia.

———————————

The next time Tony came too, his ears were still ringing, he felt like he’d been doused by ice water then stuck in a sauna. His vision swam unable to focus on whatever it was that was directly in front of his eyes. Something was yanked off his head, that fabric of it was abrasive and itchy, the bright sun shining into his eyes, he looked around as a wave of nausea hit him, he tried to take steady breaths through his nose but found an awful stabbing sensation in his chest whenever he tried to breathe or move. He was in shock he realized squinting upward at the light that he now saw was coming in through the top of a tent. The sting in his chest and face increased as he took in a sharp breath, the flinch away from the light letting him know that his face was covered in cuts, scrapes, and a thick layer of grime. The men around him were holding guns as he sat in the chair, a video camera positioned in front of him as he took in his surroundings.

The next thing he knew he was yanked backward, the shrapnel digging into his chest more causing him to gasp, whimper, and cry out all at once as the pieces jarred under his skin digging in deeper. His eyes started to roll as the pain seared, they were being careful not to kill him, but not careful enough to not cause pain and extra nonlethal injury. As soon as he was dragged from the room he was lifted onto a bench, his limbs tied down and secured with thick belts. His breathing picked up in pace as he glanced around realizing he was in some sort of medical tent, they were going to operate, and from the look of the straps, they didn’t have access to quality or reliable anesthetic. As if sensing his thoughts a cloth that had been anointed with something was pressed to his nose and mouth a sweet smell mixed with bleach crashing into his senses in a wave, shit he knew that smell. All he remembered after that was more pain, screaming as he underwent surgery for the shrapnel that was digging into his body without a general anesthetic, Fear, Shame, Dread, and Anger coursing through his body as he cried out. Waking up in the middle of having someone digging in your chest was terrifying. Add on top of it that he couldn’t move or help and that he knew that in a way he’d done this to himself and he knew that if Steve or Bucky were alive his emotions would be clearly painted across their torsos, the permanent damage done to him spanned for wider than just the hole he would wake up to. Each time he awoke and cried out they just pressed the chloroform soaked rag back to his face until he passed out again, a vicious, torturous cycle.

Tony woke up with a start choking down a yell, his voice was horse and his throat hurt. Something tickled his nose and throat, he blinked trying to focus fighting through the lingering effects of the chloroform. His body hurt, he gasped, before shuddering with cold. The freezing air stinging his lungs as he took in the rocky surface above him, another deep breath causing him to cough as he registered the tube that had been thread into his lungs through his nose again. He pulled the tube out attempting not to wince or gag as he felt it tickle the inside of his body, shuddering as he threw it to the side. He looked over, seeing a cup of what he hoped was water. He reached for it, something to soothe his aching throat and lungs from the irritation of the chloroform. His injured body betrayed him though, his muscles protesting and his hand movements sluggish and jerky, he missed the target of the water cup knocking it over instead of grasping it. He tried to lean over to get the cup he’d hit to the floor. But an uncomfortable pull in his sternum stopped him, something was tethering him to the bed. He reached to yank at it, it wasn’t as tight as the straps used to hold him down on the operating table. “I wouldn't do that if I were you.” a voice cut off his movements. Tony looked up to see a man shaving in front of a dirty and old mirror hung on what looked like a support beam.

Tony flopped back down on the makeshift bed he was laying on, looking back following the tether that was peeking out from under his bandages following the thick cords down to what was hooked up to his chest. It looked like a car battery. It took Tony a moment before it hit him that he was the one hooked up to the battery. The ache in his chest was sharp making him acutely aware of the pressure and cold bite of metal against his skin. Reaching down he hit a solid metal case through the bandages, even though he could feel it in his chest the act of touching it with his hand made the situation even more real. He ripped off the bandages seeing the circle of metal that had been implanted into his chest, no wonder his chest hurt so much. It made sense now why he felt like he had a weight on his chest not allowing him a full breath. The metal was right by his heart and it must have been pressing against his lungs taking up some of their normal real estate in his chest cavity. The metal shoved inside him also explained the chill even with the jacket he had been put into. The large piece of metal was embedded into his chest with the jumper cables for the car battery hooked up to it. The effort of ripping the bandages only caused him to breathe harder as the world around him collapsed, the hyperventilating taking over as he stared up at the rock ceiling realizing he was alive but he’d been captured and had some sort of magnet placed into his chest. His respiratory system revolting on him, it felt like knives as he gasped the chemicals and the cold not helping him take a steady breath as he gasped. He could feel the back of the device press into his lungs as he attempted to breathe full breaths. It took him a while to settle down from the panic attack, it had been a long time since he’d last had one and the pressure on his chest was doing nothing to help.

Eventually he managed to sit up, he took a drink of water from the cup the other man had refilled and placed next to him. Grabbing the broken piece of mirror that had been left next to him he unzipped his jacket and held the shard up to see the damage. He turned the mirror back and forth grimacing as he evaluated the damage. His head spinning as he went through the events that lead up to right then. His mind constantly coming back to the missile and his name being on it. He had no clue what day it was or how much time had elapsed between the attack on the caravan and him sitting here watching the other man he was stuck with make food. “What the hell did you do to me?” Tony asked quietly as the man stirred what looked like beans.

The man looked up at him and explained with a chuckle. The irony of him almost being killed by his own weapon wasn’t lost on Tony. “What I did? What I did is to save your life. I removed all the shrapnel I could, but there's a lot left, and it's headed into your atrial septum. Here, want to see?” he asked, setting down the pan and shaking a small glass jar that had scraps of metal in it. “I have a souvenir. Take a look.” He tossed the jar onto Tony’s lap. Tony was in too much pain to appreciate the irony though. His chest had a hole in it that had barely stopped bleeding and his skin was raw and aggravated around the metal that had been implanted. Tony still looked though. “I've seen many wounds like that in my village. We call them the walking dead because it takes about a week for the barbs to reach the vital organs.”

“What is this?” Tony asked, wanting a faster explanation, he knew what his weapons did. He didn't need someone to tell him, why they were being used in a village though he didn’t know. He just made the weapons; he didn’t make the calls about how they were used, he left that up to the experts. But the idea of his weapons being turned on villagers didn’t sit right with him, that didn’t sound like something that the military would do. Had the terrorist stolen the weapon? Why hadn’t it been reported? Or had someone dealt his weapons to terrorists after the original sale, that made the most sense. Tony felt a pang of guilt he should have kept better tabs on his stuff, make sure it wasn’t falling into the wrong hands. But the only way to truly make sure of that was to stop making weapons. Tony closed his eyes, the faces of the soldiers in his humvee flashed in his eyes, they’d be alive if not for his weapons.

“That is an electromagnet, hooked up to a car battery, and it's keeping the shrapnel from entering your heart.” The man explained, confirming what Tony had suspected as soon as the man had told him about the shrapnel. Tony just zipped up the jacket to protect his bare chest from the cold, hopefully still February, chill in the air.

Looked around at the room they were in, he was pretty sure it was a makeshift workspace that also doubled as their prison based on the metal doors and their lack of a handle. He took account of everything that he could see, so he knew what he had at his disposal and what he didn’t. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to fight though, maybe it made sense for him to be killed by his own weapon. Poetic justice and all. He tried to save lives and he only killed more people. He made weapons for the US, but they ended up in the hands of terrorists who attacked him. He had made a disgrace of the company, himself, and the military. He could only imagine the disappointment he would have faced had Howard still been alive. The guilt of knowing he betrayed his soulmates' legacy of protecting the country was already weighing heavily on him. They would have hated him for this. That he had let this get so out of hand that terrorists had gotten a hold of his weapons. He could almost hear Howard’s voice again ringing in his ears. ‘Those two men were heroes and they got stuck with you to remember them by, a ..., good for nothing brat, who will never know the adversary they had to fight through. I’m glad … they never have to see what a pitiful future it would have been for them with you.’ Tony took in a shaky breath they had given their lives to make the world a safer place, now it seemed to be his turn to give his life, but to make the world better and keep it safe from himself. The irony that his legacy had only hurt the world, while his soulmates had made it better wasn’t lost on him. He had only wanted to make it better, to try and follow the example they had set for him. An all too familiar hollow feeling from spreading in his chest, making him want to curl in and protect what now was quite literally a hole in his chest pulling him in. The sinking feeling of failure eating at him as Howard’s words cut at him yet again ‘Starks don’t fail’ Tony never had been able to live up to Howard’s ideal legacy of what it meant to be a Stark.

As Tony glanced around, looking for something, anything, to stick out to him that he could use or build with, he saw the flashing red light in the corner, his eyes focusing on the camera. So it was a prison cell and they were holding him for a reason, they wanted him for something. “That's right. Smile.” His companion said, “We met once, you know, at a technical conference in Bern.” He said as he continued to cook what Tony hoped would be their dinner.

“I don't remember.” he admitted, not seeing any reason to lie much less having the energy to try and formulate one.

The man chuckled “No, you wouldn't. If I had been that drunk, I wouldn't have been able to stand, much less give a lecture on integrated circuits.”

Tony ignored the man gritting his teeth as he looked around, he knew he was captured so the only reason he could come up with for why he was still alive was that they needed him for something. “Where are we?” he asked.

A voice yelling from the door interrupted their conversation. Tony watched confused for a moment as the man stopped tending the pan on the stove his entire demeanor suddenly changing “Come on, stand up. Stand up! Just do as I do.” He hissed as the door sliding open. “Come on, put your hands up,” he said, making sure Tony put his hands up on his head.

“Those are my guns. How did they get my guns?” Tony asked as he watched the men who came through the open door, Tony’s eyes were leveled at the guns that were trained on the both of them. The sinking feeling in Tony’s gut came back with a vengeance, that bomb in the desert hadn’t been a one off or mistake.

“Do you understand me? Do as I do.” the man reiterated, of course Tony had heard him, talking must not have been allowed. So Tony decided to hold his tongue, an uncharacteristic move for him, but the frantic sound of the man’s voice had him nodding, he was curious as to what had the man so worked up. He also wanted more information and currently listening was the only way he was going to get it. A man walked in and started talking. Tony watched trying to bite down the anger he was feeling at the terrorists holding his weapons. “He says, ‘Welcome, Tony Stark, the most famous mass murderer ‘in the history of America.’ He is honored. He wants you to build the missile. The Jericho missile that you demonstrated.’ This one.” Tony’s jaw was clenched so tight he could feel his neck start to twitch and tremble as he held still, his molars aching with the force of biting down on nothing. He hated it when people touched his stuff. He saw the photo of the Jericho in his companion's hand, it was a professional shot, but Tony was done with the demands. They already had his guns, he wasn’t going to give them the Jericho. He wasn’t going to make the world worse not when he knew he had an expiration date, and hopefully, with his death, they wouldn’t get their hands on the newest state of the art weapon he had just presented about to the military. He knew it was a cop out and that he was giving up, but at that moment he just couldn’t bring himself to care he was still stuck in his self-pity loop, he didn’t go into those very often and he rarely stayed in that state for long, but when he got an electromagnet shoved in his chest to keep shrapnel from shredding his arteries he had a decent reason to be off his game a bit.

Tony looked at the photo and then looked the man who had been talking dead in the eye before answering him. “I refuse.” Tony spat. They didn’t appreciate that answer. Tony spent the next week being tortured, but he continued to refuse. He refused to let anyone else down. He refused to betray Rhodey or the military. He refused to give terrorists weapons. He refused to not be accountable anymore. Not if he could stand up against it he was a Stark after all. 

Starks were made of Iron.

He would not show weakness.

He would not bend.

He would not break.

He would not fail.

Starks were made of Iron.

By the end of the week Tony’s panic attacks would start anytime he saw the bucket of water. Or anytime the car battery leads would tap something they were supposed to and would shock him. Or when the water would hit the electromagnet, those shocks were the worst, jolting his arms and legs as they curled in, all the muscles violently tensing. His heart stopped more than once during the week, the only thing keeping him alive was the shocks from the electromagnet. It would kill him only to revive him again. His lungs already stung from the chloroform the icy water that was getting into his lungs now only made it worse as he coughed and drooled on the floor; trying in vain to catch his breath before his head was shoved back into the water. He struggled and shoved and attempted to break free. They yanked him out every few minutes letting him catch his breath just enough to refuse before they shoved his head under again. If he stalled too much though in an attempt to catch his breath they wouldn’t give him time to answer, just shoving him back under water. The only thing the water helped was his thought processing speed. The water triggered his fight or flight response, the adrenaline racing and pulsing through his veins giving him access to the unusually fast thought processing power. He had forgotten how fast his mind could go, he knew this wasn’t the pinnacle for him, he was still detoxing from the alcohol in his system. That was almost worse than the torture the sweating, aching, constant agitation and vomiting doing nothin for him and were a constant for the first 3 days. It was not a fun process to go through while held captive and being tortured on top of the withdrawal symptoms. They didn’t notice though as the cold water covered up the shivering and the sweating as his body revolted against not having a proper drink. His companion noticed though, he helped when he could, mostly he just talked to Tony late at night when the insomnia and restlessness kept him up.

Eventually his captors tried a different tactic, they dragged him from the interrogation room, he counted his steps trying to map out the compound in his head. 10 steps, fork right, 33 steps, turn right, 20 more then turn 10, no, 15 degrees to the left, 15 more steps; was that sunlight? Now he just had to backtrack and hope they took him to the cell, then he’d know how to get out if it came down to it or if he got an opportunity. The bag was yanked off his head, he was right it had been sunlight. He flinched, taking a second to open his eyes, allowing them to adjust from the dark cave to the bright mountain hideaway in the mountains of the Kunar Province. As he looked around all he saw were stacks of weapons, Stark weapons, piled high under camouflage tents so that the satellites couldn’t pick them up. It still begged the question as to how they got them in the first place, and how did Tony get rid of them. The man who had continued to demand the Jericho Missile had his man shove Tony forward. Tony’s eyes tracked through all the weapons he saw, locating crate numbers where he could, they were all the ones he had sent back as possibly defective. Someone had been selling possible defective weapons to terrorists instead of taking them apart and scraping the part to rebuild. Oh there was an idea. The man stopped as Tony glared at him after registering one of his own favorite missiles, well favorites when it was guaranteed to work for the good guys. His cellmate stood next to him quietly as his captor and torturer asked him a question. “He wants to know what you think.” his cellmate translated.

“I think you got a lot of my weapons.” Tony answered plainly.

“He says they have everything you need to build the Jericho missile. He wants you to make the list of materials. He says for you to start working immediately, and when you're done, he will set you free.” Tony had a different idea, in his mind though, revenge. But he couldn’t tell them that. The man reached his hand out for Tony to shake.

Tony took the hand with the arm that wasn’t holding onto the car battery keeping him alive “No, he won't.” Tony said with a fake smile and a nod. He had a plan now they were going to give him access to a workshop he could work with that at least he hoped he could. From what he’d understood, even with the car battery, he only had a week at most to live. Maybe he could at least rig a bomb to blow the place and all the weapons sky high, they definitely had enough explosives for it.

“No, he won't.” his cellmate acknowledged playing along with the facade, watching Tony with curious eyes.

Tony sat in front of the fire, the heat keeping him grounded as he thought through his next steps toying with the mug in his hand. His cellmate broke him out of his train of thought “You have something, right here.” he trailed off tapping at a place Tony knew had a thin white scar. Tony grabbed the broken mirror off the table in front of him, sure enough the scar was visible. Tony roughly yanked the top part of his jacket to the side, a cigar burn was starting to show through the nanites. Tony grimaced realizing that of course without the watch to keep the nanites charged and the rough treatment they had received with the water and the electric shocks they would start falling off faster than normal, leaving his scars and the visuals of his abuse out in the open. 

“Got into a fight with a sliding door,” Tony said dryly, knowing that his companion had seen the other scar he’d just revealed on his shoulder. The man just nodded, Tony had nothing left to hide. He was probably going to die here so Tony unzipped the jacket shrugging it off his upper shoulders and turning so the man could see his back. “And a cigar, and an engine, and a glass tumbler, and a robot, and a lighter, and a knife” He said letting the jacket slide down his back, showing all the scars that had started to be visible under his normally flawless nanite cover.

“Maybe you should stop picking fights with inanimate objects.” his cellmate offered, as Tony yanked up the jacket again letting a small smile pull the corner of his lips upward. “Your soulmate must be worried sick about you right now.” the man offered, taping his own chest, believing that somewhere in the world someone was terrified for Tony having just received a multitude of new flowers all across their chest from his injuries.

“They would have to be alive for that.” Tony stated as he stared into the fire going back to twirling his cup.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” The man said with more sincerity in his voice than Tony had heard for just about anyone in his entire life.

“I’ve known for years.” Tony said, “All I wanted was to try and make them proud if they ever saw me.” Tony shook his head “But this, what I’ve allowed to happen with my company, they wouldn’t be proud of that. They would have been better than this. They were better than this.” Tony said opening up for the first time about how he tried to live to honor his soulmates, something he never seemed to be able to get right.

“I'm sure they're looking for you, Stark. But they will never find you in these mountains. Look, what you just saw, that is your legacy, Stark. Your life's work, in the hands of those murderers. Is that how you want to go out? Is this the last act of defiance of the great Tony Stark? Or are you going to do something about it?” the man said trying to fire Tony up into doing something about it, about what he saw.

Tony was tired though “Why should I do anything? They're going to kill me, you, either way. And if they don't, I'll probably be dead in a week.”

“Well, then, this is a very important week for you, isn't it? One week to make that soulmate of yours proud.” He said,those words slamming into Tony’s mind and reverberated around. He was a Stark.

Starks were made of Iron.

He would not show weakness.

He would not bend.

He would not break.

He would not fail.

He could change the world.

Starks were made of Iron.

He had never played by the rules as a kid, he had never seen boundaries where others did, so why should he start limiting himself now. They had given him everything he needed, he just had to get creative, and that he was good at. He would fight back, and he would persevere and he would make Steve and Bucky proud of what he did from here on out. He would create a new legacy.

He would survive this. In the coming months that is exactly what he did, he invented and built, bending the laws of physics to his will. Letting the skills he learned as a child when it came to creating something from nothing run rampant as he made himself a new heart and then a new body. Something he could use to rise from the ashes of his past and forge forward into the future. But sadly his new found legacy came with the loss of the man who had saved him “Don’t waste it. Don’t waste your life” he voice echoed in his head as he escaped the cave. He’d gotten a second chance at life but as always it came at a price to those around him. But Tony was good at payback, Revenge was a specialty of his. He had more than enough hatred for the leader of the group that had taken him, Raza, and Tony would pay him back with interest as he always did for those who messed with his stuff and hurt the people he cared about.

Tony hit the sand skidding and sinking into the desert as the power in his freshly made armor gave out causing him to drop out of the sky. He hit hard, feeling his shoulder give as it dislocated. Lacerations biting into his arms, face and neck. Lemon Balm, Leucojum and Daffodil flowering on Steve’s skin. He hoped the explosions he had caused in the mountain had been enough for the military to see and come check out the area. He wrapped the sleeves of the under suit around his head to protect him from the sun as best he could, he didn’t bother to wipe away the blood hoping it covered some of the scars he was so used to hiding. He knew he had to start walking, to give himself the chance of escape and time for the Military to do a fly over, if they were in fact in the area. He started walking when the sun was directly above him and as the day started to set and his shadow got longer he felt the shock and exhaustion starting to set in. He knew he had to keep moving with how cold the desert could get at night; he knew he needed to keep going so he wouldn’t freeze, especially with his injuries. Luckily it wasn’t much after that, that as he crested a sandbank he heard and saw two helicopters fly overhead. Tony yelled waving up at the helicopters hoping they would see him, looking up he saw the familiar sight of a Stark designed helicopter. He sank to his knees as it landed, collapsing in the sand, relief washing over him as his best friend lept out of the helicopter running towards where he now sat almost too tired to move. A calm warmth crashing over him as he realized he was going to be ok. Rhodey stopped a few feet in front of him looking over him, worry etched across his face at all the blood and the new light that was fixed to his friend’s chest. “How was the fun-vee?” Rhodey asked, gaging Tony’s reaction as his friend just laughed, happy to hear Rhodey’s voice again. Rhodey clapped him on the less bloody shoulder and dropped down in front of him emotion edging into his voice, he was just as happy to have found Tony and relieved that his friend was alive “Next time, you ride with me, okay?” he said before pulling Tony into him, holding the younger man against his chest. Tony just nodded letting himself collapse into the comforting embrace of his best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Floriography for the chapter
> 
> ———————————
> 
> Christmas Rose - Anxiety  
> Quaking Grass - Unease  
> Aspen - Fear  
> Geranium - Stupidity  
> Red Columbine - Anxious Resolve  
> Mock-Orange - Resourcefulness  
> Petunia - Anger  
> Dragon Plant - Dread  
> Sea Bindweed - Uncertainty  
> Betony - Surprise  
> Bilberry - Treachery  
> Redbud Tree - Betrayal  
> Lychnis - Wit  
> Magnolia - Perseverance  
> Peony - Shame  
> Lemon Balm - Relief  
> Daffodil - Joy  
> Leucojum - Hope
> 
> ———————————
> 
> Here is the questionnaire. It's only 4 questions long and really shouldn't take much time but I would love to know your thoughts!
> 
> https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeKrZtOWtOt1VGXXSqzzclv_s4JFpJAvpZ-t9HHcZucrwac3w/viewform?usp=sf_link


	8. Chapter 8: Borage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the scattered updates, things have been a little crazy lately, but I got a ton of writing done, this is the first time I've actually had chapters written in advance, and multiple of them, I'm normally a write, edit and post girl. But I knew with the IronMan movie arcs I wanted to write them all out first and then edit them because I wanted to limit plot holes and to keep Tony's character and the relationship he has in these next few chapters with Rhodey consistent. 
> 
> I promise, I am still writing and as always I love seeing all the comments you have, some of my favorite scenes I write are sometimes fueled and inspired by comments.
> 
> Also just a heads up there is a scene in this one pulled from Agent Carter, it's from season 1 episode 4 if you want to go find it and watch the original scene.

Chapter 8: Borage

Tony slept on the ride to Germany where he was treated for his injuries, Rhodey forcing everyone in the hospital to sign NDA’s that Pepper sent over at Tony’s frantic request. Then came the agencies, the FBI, CIA, DOJ, NSA, Military, and just about anyone and everyone wanted to hear what had happened in the desert. Tony was glad Rhodey stayed by his side for it shutting down improper lines of questioning.

On the flight home, Rhodey again spent most of it fending off anyone that tried to debrief Tony. That lasted for the first ten hours of the almost 16 hour flight. Rhodey shooed people away so Tony could get cleaned up. Rhodey stood guard at the door as all the grime rinsed away from the hospital and the desert, the hospital had been more interested in his immediate injuries, not a shower, and the agencies wanted answers and really didn’t care that he was in a complete state of disarray for it. Looking back years later he would wish a psychiatrist would have intervened and told them that a shower and letting him get cleaned up would have been in his best interest when it came to his mental health. But he would only realize that years later. Luckily for him, Pepper and Rhodey had made sure to stock clothes for Tony on the plane. Pepper, having called a store and ordering clothes for him, while Rhodey ran off to pick them up while he was running through last-minute tests before the hospital in Germany discharged him.

What Rhodey hadn’t been able to account for was the panic attack Tony would have in the shower. Tony closed the door and stripped down, tossing the t-shirt and sweatpants he’d been given by the Military onto the floor knowing he would have new clothes that were waiting for him when he got out. He turned on the water adjusting the temperature to be warm, he stuck his hand in to test the spray. Tony stepped into the water and for a moment he was fine, but as soon as he turned and the water hit his face. He gasped, his arms flew to the sides, his left slamming into the wall as he blindly searched for the shower handle, knocking the shampoo, conditioner, razor, bar of soap, and face wash out of the caddy in his haste to turn off the water. His hand slipped over one of the valves spinning it to what he hoped was off, he couldn’t see with the water running into his eyes. It turned all the way till it stopped but it turned out that what the hot water knob and he only succeeded in turning the water ice cold.

He was back in the cave, his head being dunked underwater. He couldn’t breathe. He clutched at his chest nails raking across the skin. Aspen.

_'Tony.' ___

____

____

His fingers hit the reactor checking to feel for the cables to try and protect them from the water.

_‘Tony.’ ___

____

____

He hated feeling the electricity jolt through him the aching itch it left in his nerves and muscles.

_‘Tony.’ ___

____

____

He gasped for air, his legs had given out on him, and the freezing water that had been raining down on him stopped. They were waiting for an answer.

_‘Tony.’ ___

____

____

He shook his head. Hands grabbed his arm. 

_‘Tony.’_

____

____

“No!” He cried out jerking back, flailing away, his head slamming against the wall behind him, his arm throwing the hand off him as he flailed trying to get away from his unseen assailants. “No.” He said again he wouldn’t make them a Jericho Missile he’d drown before he made these terrorists one.

“Tony.” The voice cut through his thoughts sharply. His breath stuttered, that was new. “Tony I need you to match my breaths.” Tony blinked. He was cold and the ground was hard and he was soaking wet. It was dark and damp just like the cave, “Take a deep breath for me, in, 2, 3, hold it and now out 2, 3. In, 2, 3. Out 2, 3. In 2, 3. Out, 2, 3.” Tony shuddered as his body fought to follow along, slowly the world around him brightened and the room came back into focus. He was sitting on the floor of the shower dripping slowly from the water Rhodey on the ground next to him watching him closely. 

Rhodey held out the towel in his hand to Tony when the man finally came back down from the panic attack. Tony nearly ripped the towel out of Rhodey’s hands furiously scrubbing away at the water droplets and then stuffing it around his waist twisting in vain to keep his right side away from Rhodey and the Soulmark he knew was now fully on display hidden. “Tony, I’ve seen it before, you don’t have to hide it. Don’t worry I’m not going to ask, I know you don’t want to talk about it.” 

Rhodey knew where his soulmark was, he’d known since Tony had drunkenly stumbled into their lab one night and taken off the nanite watch to charge it and then proceeded to change not realizing Rhodey was there. Needless to say, Tony hadn’t remembered that night but Tony had made it clear that his soulmate whoever they were was dead. Rhodey hadn’t pushed the subject knowing Tony kept it covered and didn’t talk about it for a reason, and he had a feeling the scars were the reason. He never pressed the subject, but he did make sure to look out for Tony since then, which was why he’d made sure to keep everyone except the essential doctors out of his room, and even then he’d made sure Tony was never undressed more than absolutely necessary. Tony had kept his scars and mark a secret for years; he didn’t need a scandal popping up about it now. Tony had always been incredibly sensitive about his mark since Ty; actually, if he was being honest about it Tony had been secretive about it his whole life, it was half the reason he developed his nanite watch, he didn’t want to be reminded day in and out about how much Howard had hated him and he didn’t want to see the mark on his side that always seemed to taunt Tony about the soulmate he’d ned have, the one who’d left him all alone.

Rhodey scooched himself back to lean against the cabinet while Tony calmed down he tried to not stare at the incredibly pale skin peeking through under the grime from the few rivulets of water that had tracked down Tony’s shoulders. “Talk to me Tones.” Rhodey coaxed. Trying to ignore how pale and skinny the man was from months inside the cave, his normal golden Italian glow to the man’s skin from his time in the sun was faded, the malnutrition was showing in his sunken cheeks. Rhodey had seen Tony grow over the years but he wasn’t used to seeing his strong steadfast friend so hurt and scared. His eyes though had locked onto the glow in the middle of his friend’s chest, that part was the biggest difference, and electromagnet that was keeping shrapnel from a bomb out of his heart. Tony had gone into that cave healthy and had come out a different person, it was going to take time before he was back on his feet again and Rhodey knew it. This wasn’t something he could just walk off, Rhodey had been around enough soldiers to know what trauma could do to a person.

It took Tony a few moments “Water, it’s been a while since I’ve had a shower and I was so excited to finally get all this dirt off of me I forgot that…” he trailed off. Rhodey was smart he knew the signs of torture, and Tony had eluded to it in his debriefs, but he’d never said exactly what, know Rhodey knew exactly what they had done to try and get Tony to build them weapons before he’d blown up the place.

Rhodey took a deep breath. “Waterboarding?” he supplied for his friend.

“Basically.” Tony nodded, swallowing hard as he stared at the floor of the shower watching the remaining water roll in droplets down the walls and pool on the floor before trickling down the drain.

“I can sit here and talk to you, would that help?” Tony nodded again, Rhodey stood up and adjusted the shower head “There now it won't hit you in the face. We can get that when you’re done washing your body.” Tony nodded looking up to see Rhodey standing there with his hand out, he took it, letting Rhodey help him slowly stand up. His breathing finally regaining some normalcy. “What else?” Rhodey asked.

“Warm water, really warm.” Tony said as he stepped out of the shower letting Rhodey turn on the shower adjusting it to hot. Tony stuck his hand in turning the heat up even more to where it was almost scalding before stepping in. Rhodey sat down next to the clouded glass giving Tony some privacy before he began to talk while watching as the shower steamed up the room around them.

Rhodey talked about anything he could think of, his family, how his little sister was doing in her career, and with her new husband. He steered well clear of talking about the military, Tony didn’t need anything else to worry his mind at the moment. They could deal with getting him back to work on his own timeline, once he had time to heal and recuperate from his time in captivity. He knew Tony was not ready and he wasn’t quite sure how to tell him that Obie had wanted to call off the search two months ago and just declare Tony as dead and he had nearly gotten away with it, he’d been 48 hours away from getting his way. He’d have done it earlier but there was an agency still looking into his disappearance which one Rhodey didn’t know but since it was still an open investigation for them so Tony couldn’t be declared dead. If Rhodey ever met the agent who had kept looking for him he was gonna buy them dinner and take them to a movie and then dessert. Really he would get them or take them whatever they wanted to go, it was because of them that Tony was back; they hadn’t stopped looking for him, they had been the ones to tip off Rhodey and sent him out searching for Tony in the area Tony had ended up in.

Tony made it through the rest of his shower without another full blown meltdown, Rhodey only having to stop a few times to remind Tony to breathe from his spot on the floor next to the shower. Rhodey helped him clean his face after Tony was out of the shower, using a washcloth and warm water to rub off the grime, Tony shaved and then used the washcloth to scrub away the dead skin and dirt, Tony kept his towel tightly wrapped around his middle hiding his soulmark and some of the scaring. Rhodey still could see the worst of the scars covering Tony’s body, he’d known Howard was a terrible parent from the bits and pieces he got from Tony while they were in college and he had caught a brief glimpse of the damage the man had done. It wasn’t until now that Rhodey had ever truly gotten to see the extent of the physical damage, now he could see them all. All the burns from Howard’s cigar. All the injuries, which were now thick and thin lines and splotches both raised and flat, decorated Tony’s back, chest, shoulders, arms, and legs. Rhodey found himself very glad that Howard was dead; the man really had inflicted an obscene amount of damage. Damage Tony could never reveal or ever talk about. The world loved Howard, but the Howard they saw and the Howard who had raised Tony were not the same people. He understood why Tony had kept them covered. Tony had shown him the nanites in college, but Rhodey hadn’t realized how extensively they had to work until then, he’d just thought Tony used them to keep his soulmark covered, he hadn’t realized how much Tony had kept under his mask. Rhodey kept a firm white knuckled grip on the washcloth as he dunked it under the warm water before returning to his work, dabbing and rubbing away the dirt on Tony’s face, jawline and neck.

Rhodey grabbed the clothes for Tony from the other room and brought them into the bathroom so Tony could change without the risk of another person coming in and finding him. If Tony didn’t want to talk about the scars with Rhodey and he sure as hell wouldn’t want to talk to some random person about it. Rhodey knew that as open as Tony seemed when feeding the media frenzy he was actually quite private about what he actually did with his life. Rhodey would help him however he could when it came to keeping his privacy about the scars, the new arc reactor that was now implanted in his chest, and his soul mark that the media loved to speculate about. Rhodey apologized, the normal watch he wore that had the nanite technology was the only thing missing, Tony waved him off “I’ll just keep all my buttons done up” he answered. Tony hadn’t expected to get the watch until that landed, Rhodey sent a message to Pepper to bring Tony the watch that was on his nightstand charger at home when they landed. Tony was just happy to be back in clothes he could call his own, with his best friend and somewhere safe. Safe wasn’t something he was used to after the last 3 months, but as they exited the back rooms, for the first time since he’d been taken in February he felt safe. Rhodey was by his side for the rest of the plane ride, a constant weight and wall for Tony to lean against for support as he thought about what he was going to do when they landed.

Rhodey wheeled Tony down into the cargo hold for the plane after they landed. Tony had been weak on his feet after his escape, the journey, adrenaline, blood loss, and panic attack taking a lot out of him. As the cargo bay lowered Tony saw Pepper and Happy waiting for him. He stood up with a bit of help from Rhodey, leaning on him to balance, his other arm had been put into a sling one the doctor had instructed he wear for the next 4 weeks due to his dislocated shoulder. Rhodey didn’t envy the fights he and Pepper were going to have over the thing during the next month. 

Tony and Rhodey got halfway down the ramp when a medical gurney rolled towards them. Tony turned an incredulous look on Rhodey “Are you kidding me with this? Get rid of them.” Tony said unable to put his normal snark and sass behind the comment. Tony was starting to feel more like himself again, but he still had a ways to go. He hadn’t even started to get into what changes he was going to have to make now that he had his second shot at making Steve and Bucky proud, so far the only thing he’d come up with was shutting down Stark Industries and rebuilding the company into something that would help people not hurt them.

Rhodey waved the paramedics off, trusting Tony to know what he needed. Tony did know more about his condition than he probably cared to. So if he said he didn’t want medical transport Rhodey would allow it, he may not agree but he knew better than to tell Tony no right then. Tony needed to be able to call the shots, it was something he and Pepper had discussed during the phone call about the watch. Tony knew that right now the last thing he needed right now was a hospital and doctors poking and prodding at him and having to show more people what he’d spent so many years of his life hiding, it was bad enough having Rhodey know. When they were off the ramp Tony let go of Rhodey’s arm, walking over to Pepper and Happy on his own. Sure it was slower than normal but he’d just got out of 3 months of captivity what did they expect, Rhodey stayed close by though ready just in case Tony faltered and he had to catch his friend. 

He’d watched the man carefully since he’d picked him up and even though Tony wasn’t currently sharing what was going on in his head Rhodey was wary of him. Rhodey had known Tony for long enough at this point, and he knew that face. It had been a long time since he’d seen it but Rhodey knew the face and mannerisms of his friend well enough and he knew Tony was about to do something drastic. The only difference between this time and the last was that this time Tony wasn’t sharing his thoughts with him about what he was going to do. Tony stopped in front of Pepper taking in her appearance. “Your eyes are red. A few tears for your long-lost boss?” He asked deflecting the situation away from him even though it had come about because of his capture. Happy and Pepper visibly relaxed hearing Tony’s voice and characteristic bluntness. They were glad he was back.

Pepper smiled seeing the snarky side of Tony that she knew, glad that it hadn’t disappeared even though he looked worse for wear he had lost weight over the last 3 months, he was paler and his cheeks were sunken in, bruises and cuts littering his face from where he’d needed to fight his way out. She was glad Rhodey had warned her about how different Tony looked, it kept her from being too shocked. They knew Tony hated to be coddled or pitied, and the warning had given her enough of a heads up not to visibly react now that Tony was in front of her. “Tears of joy. I hate job hunting.” Pepper insisted.

“Yeah, vacation's over.” He said knowing that what he was about to do was going to cause waves and Pepper was going to have to deal with a lot of the blowback.

“Where to, sir?” Happy asked as Pepper got into the back seat with Tony.

Pepper answered for him. “Take us to the hospital, please, Happy.”

“No.”

“No? Tony, you have to go to the hospital.” Pepper insisted, she hadn’t seen him in three months and she wanted to make sure he was ok.

“No is a complete answer.” Tony said as they bantered.

“The doctor has to look at you.”

“I don't have to do anything.” Tony said, his voice raising a fraction as he put his foot down. He was done arguing and not being able to decide his own actions. He'd done that for 3 months and he was tired of it. He wanted to be able to do what he wanted again. “I've been in captivity for three months. There are two things I want to do. I want an American cheeseburger, and the other -"

“That's enough of that.” Pepper said rolling her eyes Tony couldn’t blame her for the direction her mind had gone. Hell, sex would have been nice if he was being honest, it had been the whole reason that he’d been late getting to Afghanistan. But now it posed a different threat, it meant letting someone he didn't fully trust near the reactor. So even though in the past sex had been a fairly normal part of his life. Now it was not much of a priority, not when it meant the possibility of people getting too close to such a delicate piece of tech that happened to be keeping him alive as well. Besides he had bigger issues to sort out. 3 months had changed him a lot, he’d seen the other side of what he did and he couldn’t deal with that list of souls he’d one day have to face getting any longer on his account.

“-is not what you think.” He insisted, “I want you to call for a press conference now."

Pepper’s shock was almost palpable “Call for a press conference?”

“Yeah.”

“What on earth for?” she asked, still confused that this was the first thing Tony wanted to do.

Tony didn’t answer her, knowing that if he told people they would tell him to think this through. He had thought it through though, he’d had 3 months to think it through, this wasn’t a rash decision. “Hogan, drive. Cheeseburger first,” he instructed.

Tony took a deep breath as he prepared to get out Obie grabbing the door opening it for him. Tony swung himself out of the car as best he could with the use of only one arm. Obie gave him a hug Tony waving off his concerns as he grabbed another cheeseburger out of the bag Happy was carrying. Opening the burger and fending off Obie’s small talk as he ate his burger defending his food from the other man.

As they walked into Stark Industries the employees clapped and smiled at Tony, thankful for his safe return. As he passed Gina he saw her smile at him, as she blinked back tears, it was good to know he’d been genuinely missed by more than just Happy, Pepper, Rhodey, and Obie. He was glad he had made a big enough impression on her for her to miss him, he just nodded his head to her and kept walking to the podium. He took a deep breath still not quite used to the sound of so many people or being back in a crowd of this size.

The room was packed with reporters and television crews. Tony was quickly surrounded as he walked to the front, reporters, photographers, and video cameras following and tracking his every movement. Tony unceremoniously plopped down in front of the podium, he was tired of standing and needed to sit for a moment before he unleashed all hell. Obie, not quite knowing what to do, called for attention above him at the dais. Even he didn’t quite know what Tony’s plan was, a fact that was unsettling for him since he normally knew what his younger counterpart’s plan was.

Obie had tried to take the man out, but like always Tony was back again. Rising up from whatever was thrown his way, over and over he rose from the ashes, he was a bigger thorn in Obie’s side than he was worth. Tony was a loose cannon at this point and Obie wasn’t sure where this was heading, but he had a distinct feeling that he wasn’t going to like it. 

Tony’d had more than enough time to think about how he was going to do this, how he was going to break this news. He really did know what he was doing most of the time, despite what it looked like, he just tended to be a little more unorthodox in his tactics. “Hey, would it be all right if everyone sat down? Why don't you just sit down? That way you can see me, and I can… A little less formal and…” He called pulling another cheeseburger out of his suit pocket, unwrapping it, and taking a bite.

He hadn’t had a cheeseburger in 3 months and that had been the main thing he’d craved the entire time. He’d barely touched the hospital food, no amount of eye rolling and grumbling from Rhodey would ever convince him that his first real meal after leaving captivity should be hospital food. He hadn’t even eaten on the plane wanting his first real meal to be cheeseburgers. Tony took a second knowing he was about to shock the world and if he wasn’t careful here he would also crash his company into the ground. 

Tony watched as Rhodey came in as well, walking over and kneeling next to Pepper. Rhodey was going to be furious with him for what he was about to do. He’d had the last 36 hours to tell him and he hadn’t. Actually, he couldn't; he couldn’t watch Rhodey’s face when he told him inadvertently that he wasn’t going to have his back anymore. That and he didn’t want to put him in a tough spot. If he’d told him the man would be forced to either keep the secret for him or tell the military that he was shutting down. But he also couldn’t watch himself break his friendship. Tony was convinced that this move would do exactly that. Rhodey would understand eventually, but first, he was going to be livid, as Tony went back on the promise, to always have his back, that he’d made him just before they graduated. 

“Good to see you.” Tony said looking at Obie who had sat down next to him. Obie was going to hate this too. Tony was about to yank the rug out from under everyone at the company, he knew the stock drop was going to be 40 points at a minimum. He knew the blowback was going to be massive and it was going to be hard to navigate. He really should probably give Pepper a raise with how much she was about to be dealing with, he knew it was going to be substantial, but he had to do this. That was what none of them realized yet, they hadn’t seen what he did, none of them had seen that. He had and it was his name on the side of the building he had a responsibility to the world. He was done with the world not being holding him or the military accountable. He couldn’t control the military but he could control his actions, especially those of himself and of the company he had built into an empire beyond Howard’s wildest dreams.

“Good to see you.” Obie acknowledged putting a hand on Tony’s shoulder.

Well it was now or never Tony took a breath before looking over at Obie, hopefully, the man who had been more of a father to him than Howard would understand “I never got to say goodbye to Dad.” He said quietly hoping Obie would see that this was truly coming from a place of care that Tony had, and realized that Tony didn’t want to be the person he’d made himself into anymore. In a way, Rhodey was about to get exactly what he wanted, for Tony to be better, a better person and someone who cared about what he put into the world. “I never got to say goodbye to my father.” He said louder to the reporters, the only time he ever called Howard that was to the media. “There are questions that I would have asked him. I would have asked him how he felt about what this company did. If he was conflicted, if he ever had doubts. Or maybe he was every inch the man we all remember from the newsreels.” Tony sighed, this was it the moment they had all been waiting for, the moment where they would call him crazy and try to say he didn’t know what he was doing; it was trauma, it was PTSD, he was crazy. They could call it whatever they wanted to but he did know, and he was more sure about what he was about to do than he had been about anything before. “I saw young Americans killed by the very weapons I created to defend them and protect them.” Obie shifted next to him, his frown growing, Tony had just made them a public target for the media to jump on the war profiteering bandwagon. “And I saw that I had become part of a system that is comfortable with zero accountability.”

A murmur swept through the crowd, one of them raising his pen to ask a question, the press conference had just gotten very quiet as he laid out what he had seen and come back from. “Mr. Stark?”

Tony nodded to him, having seen him several times for press conferences over the years, “Hey Ben.” He said surprising the man, Tony didn’t want to play around. Despite what they all thought he knew their names, he’d held enough press briefings to know the people Pepper had chosen to report for him. It always seemed to come as a shock to people that he could remember small things, he knew every member of his staff, it just took him a second normally, and Pepper would beat him to it. He had an eidetic memory which was now proving to be much more of a curse than it was a blessing with the recent events he’d experienced, not forgetting was a heavy curse to bear. 

“What happened over there?” he asked after the second of surprise he’d had realizing that Tony knew his name passed.

Now came the hard part, he stood up, this needed to be more serious and formal. “I had my eyes opened. I came to realize that I have more to offer this world than just making things that blow up.” He said and it was true, he had a mind like none other, he didn’t see the rules or walls they did, and he was going to prove to the world he was more. “And that is why, effective immediately, I am shutting down the weapons manufacturing division of Stark International until such a time as I can decide what the future of the company will be. What direction it should take, one that I'm comfortable with and is consistent with the highest good for this country, as well.” Tony said holding his ground in front of the podium even as Obie tried to push him aside. 

He wasn’t going to be backing down from this. He was set on his new vision of making the world safer. He was all on board for building body armor and things that would keep the soldiers safe, but he was drawing his moral line with weapons, he hadn’t drawn it before, but he knew he needed to now. Tony saw Rhodey’s face as he walked toward Pepper in the back of the room, his mouth was pulled into a line and his jaw was set. He had just pissed off half of the people he cared about. Tony didn’t blame him, he had just blindsided the guy.

Tony exited the building as quickly as he could. He climbed back in the car and had Happy take him to the power center in the middle of the factory where the full-sized arc reactor was housed. He had dismissed Pepper so she could get ahead of and start to try and fend off some of the backlash. While Rhodey had just walked out, shaking his head at Tony as he turned on his heel and left not even saying goodbye. Tony waited knowing Obie was bound to come find him, once he’d settled the reporters down a bit. 

Tony knew he was mad, and like always he tended to put some distance between him and the door he at least wanted to see Obie coming if the man was going to turn into Howard on him. Hearing Obie outside the door, he readjusted his grip on the rail that went around the reactor, he could only hope that Obie would once again prove that he was his Uncle Obie and not Howard as he entered stopping as he got into the room “Well, that... That went well.” Obie huffed chewing on the end of his cigar.

Tony looked up at his uncle’s scowling face. “Did I just paint a target on the back of my head?” he asked, trying to gauge just how mad Obie was.

“Your head? What about my head?” Obie sighed, he was fighting his urge to clock Tony “What do you think the over-under on the stock drop is gonna be tomorrow?” He asked trying to calm down enough to get Tony to show him the tech hiding under his shirt. What Raza had told Obie about in his message when he’d told Obie that Tony had escaped.

Ok so Obie was pissed “Optimistically, 40 points.” Tony said with a small shrug, his number was incredibly optimistic. The drop was probably going to be closer to the mid 50s. He pulled off the tie, unbuttoning the top button of his shirt. Pepper had brought his nanite watch to him when she met him on the tarmac. He felt much more comfortable now with the nanite covering his scars and the worst of his injuries.

“At minimum. Tony, we're a weapons manufacturer.” Obie said, circling him from side to side like a hawk, he was looking at the damage Tony had sustained overseas.

Tony knew he had to stand by his statement from earlier, especially with Obie, he knew he needed to put his foot down and stick to his guns. Especially because he knew where this conversation was going, this was where Obie was going to try and get him to take back his previous statements. Get him to say that he’d changed his mind “Obie, I just don't want a body count to be our only legacy. That’s it.”

“That's what we do. We're ironmongers. We make weapons.” Obie continued talking right through Tony.

“It's my name on the side of the building.” Tony fired back. He knew that wasn’t the only thing Stark Industries had done, it's just what they had done since 1964.

Obie didn’t pay Tony any mind continuing to talk over him “And what we do keeps the world from falling into chaos.”

Tony stepped into him. “Not based on what I saw.” Obie finally shut up, as Tony stared him down, keep the world from falling into chaos, that was an odd way of putting it, if anything they had been fueling chaos. “We're not doing a good enough job. We can do better. We're gonna do something else.” He said in a vain attempt to get Obie on his side.

Obie realized yet again that Tony wasn’t Howard. He wasn’t going to be talked into what Obie wanted. “Like what? You want us to make baby bottles?” Obie was just going to have to take it, just like he had tried, and almost succeeded in doing eighteen years ago. But first, he was going to get Tony to share with him what he had created, that allowed him to get out of that cave, Raza was supposed to keep him in, and kill him in.

“I think we should take another look into arc reactor technology.” Tony said, stepping up to the challenge.

Obie rolled his eyes ducking away, hopefully goading Tony into elaborating “Come on. The arc reactor, that's a publicity stunt! Tony, come on. We built that thing to shut the hippies up!” He started to pace again.

“It works.” Tony said, still keeping tabs on Obie as he started to circle again.

“Yeah, as a science project. The arc was never cost effective. We knew that before we built it. Arc reactor technology, that's a dead end, right?” Tony heard the question. Obie knew. Now he was going to have to placate him. Unless he could brush it off.

“Maybe.” Tony said, attempting to get Obie to buy the brush off.

“Am I right? We haven't had a breakthrough in that in what? Thirty years.” Tony turned to face Obie.

“That's what they say.” Tony responded, his eyes narrowing as Obie sat back putting his hands on his hips. “Could you have a lousier poker face? Just tell me, who told you?” Tony wanted answers first, now he knew he held the cards.

“Never mind who told me. Show me.” Obie didn’t want to answer, he couldn’t exactly answer that truthfully without bringing up even more questions.

“It’s Rhodey or Pepper.”

“I want to see it.” Obie pressed, aptly avoiding the question since neither of them had told him.

“Okay, Rhodey.” Tony said, pulling off the sling letting it drop to the ground, and undoing the next two buttons on his shirt, checking around to make sure no one else saw. Obie stared at the miniaturized arc reactor that sat in Tony’s chest, and based on what he was told it was also keeping him alive.

“Okay.” Obie breathed moving to button Tony back up checking both ways to make sure no one saw what was now sitting in Tony’s chest keeping him alive.

“Okay? It works.” Tony fired back.

Obie sighed, Tony had just shown him what he believed would be his greatest discovery and invention ever. A miniature arc reactor, now this would, and could, change the modern age weapons game completely. He just had to keep Tony out of his way until he got exactly what he wanted and should have gotten when Howard died, control of Stark Industries. “Listen to me, Tony. We're a team. Do you understand? There's nothing we can't do if we stick together, like your father and I.” Obie said, laying on the guilt.

That Tony did feel bad about, he hadn’t given Obie any fore-warning, he’d literally thrown Obie to the wolves. Rhodey too for that matter, he probably owed Rhodey a really, really, nice bottle of scotch for this stunt of his. “I'm sorry I didn't give you a heads-up, okay? But if I had-”

Obie cut him off ready to sink the ship Tony was standing on. He knew Tony never got along with Howard, and never wanted to be him, so that is where he took his aim. “Tony. Tony, no more of this "ready, fire, aim" business. You understand me?” He said.

Tony’s face went blank, “That was Dad's line.” Tony said, forcing a smile onto his face, but the line hit close, too close to home. Was he turning into Howard? He didn’t want to be that person, he’d seen the headache Howard had given everyone.

“You gotta let me handle this. We're gonna have to play a whole different kind of ball now. We're going to have to take a lot of heat. I want you to promise me that you're gonna lay low.” Obie encouraged playing on Tony’s insecurities and the fact that he was still healing, and he knew from what Pepper had said that Tony was supposed to take it easy for the next 6 weeks, even though he’d already ‘lost’ his sling. Tony nodded agreeing to lay low as the doctors had asked. He had projects to get to anyway, Happy drove him back home to the house in Malibu. Where he immediately disappeared into his workshop to start on the next version of the Arc Reactor. His flight from just a few days before having burned out most of the usability in the one he was wearing. With a real workshop though he could make version 2.0 of the reactor a better model than the one he was currently using.

By 10 am the next day Tony had made a better model, he had to get Pepper to help him exchange the reactor though since his hands were too big, DUM-E’s arm didn’t have the dexterity for it and the angle of attempting to reach into his own chest was not an easy one to manage. He pulled her into the lab and after a bit of finagling he got Pepper to help him switch the older arc reactor unit with the new one he had just made, she only shocked him twice and sent him into cardiac arrest once, and then had the audacity to smack him for making her help. 

It took him some sweet talking to get her to attempt to get the exposed wire out but she did it. She really was the only person he had when it came to helping him with the weird day to day things. Especially now since he was supposed to be taking it easy, Obie was more worried about the company and Rhodey was always at work. Pepper was Tony’s right hand person, she had kept his life together for the last seven years. He wouldn’t trade his small little family of people that genuinely cared about him for anything else in the world. As she left he thanked her, a new thing he was trying to get better at. He was now set and ready for business with a new version of the technology he’d started in Kunar. Now he was able to move on to the bigger project he had in mind since his escape. He spent most of the next month drawing up schematics and toying with different ideas and ways to make the armor he’d built in Kunar even better.

  


\-------------  
June 4th, 2009

  


He had a solid idea for his suit underway, a suit that really had started as a way of protecting himself, but he saw that this could really be applicable to the Air Force especially when it came to getting medical in and out of tricky places. But to run with that side of his idea he knew he had to go make nice with Rhodey. He wanted Rhodey to be in on the project, he was the only one that he could trust and who had the engineering background necessary to make the project work, both his own suit and the idea for working it into evac teams for the Air Force. 

Tony headed over to the Air Force Base where Rhodey was teaching a group of new wannabe pilots “-no unmanned aerial vehicle will ever trump a pilot's instinct, his insight, that ability to look into a situation beyond the obvious and discern its outcome, or a pilot's judgment.”

Tony walked across the floor, no one giving him a second glance they were used to him just showing up and bugging Rhodey. “Colonel? Why not a pilot without the plane?”

Rhodey knew that voice. “Look who fell out of the sky. Mr. Tony Stark.” He said with a chuckle introducing his friend as he smiled looking Tony over. Tony looked good as he walked up having put back on some of the weight he’d lost, the cuts were almost fully healed and he no longer needed the sling as he greeted the cadets he was talking to. Rhodey watched him carefully as he stepped up; a month of being back home eating real food and sleeping in his own bed, had him looking much healthier than the last time Rhodey had seen him.

“Speaking of manned or unmanned, you gotta get him to tell you about the time he guessed wrong at spring break. Just remember that, spring break, 1987. That lovely lady you woke up with.” And it seemed Tony’s humor hadn’t been lost either.

“Don't do that!” Rhodey protested.

“What was his name?”

“Don't do that.” Rhodey said cracking a smile as he shook his head.

“Was it lvan?” Tony asked, poking fun at him.

“Don't do that. They'll believe it. Don't do that.” Rhodey sighed in exasperation.

“Okay.” Tony laid off with a smirk.

“Don't do that.” Rhodey laughed “Give us a couple minutes, you guys.” Rhodey said dismissing the group to go look around. Rhodey laughing tapping Tony in the arm “I'm surprised.” he said smiling at his friend. He was glad the man looked as good as he did, but he wouldn’t have guessed that Tony would have bounced back as fast as he had, sure Tony had always been a surprising person. But Rhodey had seen soldiers go through a lot less and be out of it for a lot longer. While he knew every case was different and that he shouldn’t compare circumstances, everyone was different, but he still wouldn’t have guessed that the man standing in front of him smiling and joking was the same one that, just a month ago, he had pulled out of the desert. The same one who’d had a panic attack from being tortured and had been diagnosed with numerous injuries including inoperable shrapnel that had almost pierced his heart and killed him. The same one who he had needed to help stand because he had barely been able to stay upright for longer than 20 minutes. Really though when Rhodey thought about it Tony, had more training for what took place in that cave than any military personnel did, if the years of being kidnapped for being Howard’s heir hadn’t taught Tony how it worked then the multitude of scars he carried had. Rhodey had always known Tony had an insanely high pain tolerance, the man would accidentally burn his fingers or slice his arm working constantly at MIT. But Tony had never so much as flinched, he just continued to work even with the blood dripping down his arms into a puddle below him sometimes.

“Why?” Tony asked, Rhodey knew he bounced back fast, he’d always been that way.

“I swear, I didn't expect to see you walking around so soon.” Rhodey explained happy Tony was healing so well, and as quickly as he was.

“I'm doing a little better than walking.” Tony said, trying to impart onto Rhodey that was jumping back into the swing of things much better than had been expected, and alluding to just how big the project he was thinking about starting up was.

“Really?” Rhodey asked a grin splitting across his face.

“Yeah.” Tony confirmed “Rhodey, I'm working on something big. I came to talk to you. I want you to be a part of it.”

Rhodey was thrilled, taking it as Tony reconsidering his claim that he was getting out of the weapons game. “You're about to make a whole lot of people around here real happy, 'cause that little stunt at the press conference, that was a doozy.” He said knowing that the new contractor was Justin Hammer and Hammer Industries didn’t have anything close to the same quality standards that Tony upheld.

Tony realized that Rhodey hadn’t understood him the way he meant to be understood “This is not for the military. I'm not- It's different.” Tony said slowly, trying to help Rhodey understand that he was sticking to his words at the press conference. He was done with the weapons but he had other ideas and he wanted Rhodey to be there for him and to work with him as a sounding board.

Rhodey scowled at him. “What? You're a humanitarian now or something?” He challenged, Tony got it, Rhodey was still mad that Tony had turned his back on the military, but he hadn't, he'd said weapons, not safety, he’d said weapons, not transportation or medical, or even the efforts of trying to feed all the soldiers. Just cause he wasn’t making weapons didn’t mean he had turned his back on his best friend, Rhodey just hadn’t seen that yet, which made sense in a way cause in his stunt Tony had taken out a good portion of Rhodey’s job for the military as their Stark Industries liaison.

“I need you to listen to me.” Tony attempted to plead his case. Trying to keep Rhodey on his side and calm, he wanted Rhodey with him for this adventure, he wanted his best friend to have his back in this like he had had his back at MIT. 

“No. What you need is time to get your mind right.” Tony bit back a flinch at Rhodey’s harsh words, he knew his friend was mad but he hadn’t expected Rhodey to snap at him the way he just did. Tony grimaced, hiding the hurt with a laugh. “I'm serious.”

“Okay.” Tony breathed out swallowing down the hurt and pain Rhodey had caused, he hadn’t even heard him out he’d just thrown his idea out the door. Tony yet again was in it alone.

“It's nice seeing you, Tony.” Rhodey said, indicating that their conversation was over.

“Thanks.” Tony breathed out, barely getting off a nod before turning on his heel and leaving to go back to his lab. It seemed that Pepper was the only one in his corner at the moment. Rhodey was still mad at him for stopping making weapons. As for Obie, well based on the emails and messages he’d started getting, Obie only really cared about getting his hands on the miniature arc reactor. Tech that Tony didn’t trust the man with, not with the power capability of the device. Obie was too set in the past. Wanting to focus on what Stark Industries and International had done for the past 42 years, not on the growth and innovation it could bring to the world. It seemed like he wouldn’t be sharing this project anytime soon, he didn’t trust Rhodey to not go to the top brass or even Obie with it, and he didn’t trust Obie to not try and make it into some sort of destructive force.

Tony hid out in his lab laying low as he recreated the suit drawing out his old schematics in pieces before assembling it onto his holographic display. His coffee maker was working overtime and a bag of muffins from four days ago was long empty, the snacks had allowed him to hide in the lab longer than ever before. Obie had told him to stay away so he would keep the plans on his personal servers, away from the Stark Industries server, one that neither Obie nor Rhodey could touch and give away. He would not have this fall into the wrong hands, at least in his hands he could do some good. Perhaps even start to make up for what he’d done and been complacent as he allowed the sale of weapons to terrorists to happen on his watch. Sure he hadn’t known but he also turned a blind eye to all the little signs of it and he wasn’t about to let that happen again. He stayed glued to his new project designing pieces, running numbers for equations, and sketching out ideas into a notebook for the next month scanning it in at the end of each day.

It all would start with keeping this project on a different server, a trick Tony had learned from Howard. It had become a habit of his to send things to a personal server that was then backed up and kept offline was the best way to keep things from falling into the wrong hands. He saved his designs on his personal server to keep it safe from the prying eyes of others at Stark Industries.

He knew from his previous chats with his Aunt that Howard had even set her up with a server for her to use if things went sideways at work but that conversation had been a few years ago now. She had started having many more bad days than good ones recently and she hadn’t been able to recognize him as Tony for the last 2 years. But now he hadn’t talked to Aunt Peggy since just before his capture, and he didn’t plan on doing it again, the last time he did hurt too much.

While he found it amusing that Peggy had always been the one able to call out Howard on his bullshit, it hurt that she no longer recognized him as Tony. It had thrown him considerably the first time it happened 5 years ago. He’d shown up on a bad day. Uncle Daniel had gotten him out of the situation as quickly as possible, after he’d realized the situation and that Tony had shown up unannounced yet again. From there it only got worse, she started having more bad days than good ones it seemed, and the good days could turn into bad ones quickly. What hurt the most was that it seemed to happen more often when he was there, especially when she saw him.

Probably the only good part that had come from her thinking he was Howard was that he had finally gotten the fondue story out of Peggy, one he found very entertaining. Figures that two boys who’d grown up on the poorer side of things didn’t know what fondue was, especially with Howard’s reputation back in the day. He still hated that more and more people including his favorite Aunt now only saw him as Howard and that more and more people were comparing him to Howard. The next time he’d seen Aunt Peggy was right before he was captured, 3 days before. Uncle Daniel had said it was a good day, he’d been in New York for a meeting so he’d stopped by, but by the time he got there it wasn’t a good day anymore, he didn’t know when it had flipped, no one had let him know. But when he got there it had changed, that was the last time he stopped by, he couldn’t hear about Steve while being yelled at for being Howard again, it hurt too much. But that conversation had been a harsh reality check and quite an eye-opening experience for him.

He’d entered the room and she was pouring herself a glass of water, he had flowers in one hand hoping to create at least a few more good memories with the woman who like Ana had been more of a mother to him than his own. “What’s in the vial?”

“Flowers?” Tony asked, holding up the vase.

“Not the vase, the vial.” She asked again, he’d never seen her look so serious, but he wasn’t following. Why was she already so mad at him, he'd only just showed up.

“I’m not sure what you mean.” Tony said stepping into the room and putting down the vase on her nightstand.

Peggy took a sip of water “Right now isn’t the time to play games, cause it looked like that was blood, and based on how badly you wanted it, I’m going to assume that it was Steve’s.” Tony swallowed hard as he realized the shift. His blood ran cold as he stared at his Aunt. Shit. She thought he was Howard, yet again. While normally he would have already backed out of the room, she was talking about Steve, and that was a name that froze him in place. “You’re lucky I don’t slug you.”

Tony gulped because based on the fact that he'd never heard her this anger in his life, he knew she meant it. He also knew he was very lucky she hadn't hit him, at least not yet. He had seen his Aunt get furious enough to punch Howard before, and whatever memory she was in right now, she was definitely ready to punch ‘Howard’ for whatever he’d done. She was a step beyond any level of anger he'd seen from her before and that included the time he had witnessed her deck Howard in their living room on the 4th of July.

“Yea I probably am” Tony admitted, his mind running a million miles a minute, Howard had gotten a vial of Steve’s blood? Was it part of his involvement with Project Rebirth? It must have been, but Steve’s blood could have held the key to so many breakthroughs. Vaccines for just about anything, starting to rewrite the human genome and change it. That blood would have helped so many people. Why hadn’t it been used?

“You know how much Steve meant to me, you lied to me and used me for your own gain.” Peggy snapped at him breaking him out of his thought process. “I trusted you Howard!” She yelled. Tony swallowed hard, he didn’t want to sit there and listen to this but at the same time, he couldn’t stop himself. He was already in this rabbit hole, he might as well see where it led. “So why don’t you tell me you’re great reasoning Howard. Tell me why on earth do you have his blood?”

Tony decided to play along swallowing hard before playing along, “I was one of the lead Scientists on Project rebirth, as one of them I got a vial of his blood at the end of it.” Tony said, unable to say Steve’s name. He’d only said Steve’s name a few times and he wasn’t going to make this one of them.

“That still doesn’t mean that you deserve to have Steve’s blood.” She snapped at him. Tony had to admit that one hurt, especially coming from Peggy; even if he was playing the part of Howard, it hurt to hear her say he didn’t deserve Steve, even if she had only meant it in the context of his blood. She was the closest thing he’d ever had to his soulmates and hearing her say he shouldn’t have them wasn’t something he had been prepared to hear. He would never have been prepared to hear that from her come to think of it.

Those words jarred him and it took Tony a second to think up a response “Peggy think about it, that sample could hold the key to vaccines, medications, possibly even cures for the common cold and flu.” Tony said trying to reason with her, to find out what had happened to the vial and if Howard ever got it back. If he had gotten it back Tony knew he could do a lot of good for the world with that sample. The next part took him a second to say but he’d gotten this far and he wasn’t about to back down now. “He may not still be here, but that doesn’t mean he can’t still help and save millions of people,” Tony said fighting down his emotions at having a conversation about one of his soulmates and how Howard had possibly had a vial of his blood. Now Tony wanted to know where the blood was and why Howard had never used it, had Peggy given it back or had Howard gotten it. Had Howard used it all, had he made any breakthroughs? With the gene-sequencing technology Tony had access to nowadays, maybe he could actually fulfill those dreams. 

“And how many millions of dollars are you set to make?” Peggy spat.

Tony hadn’t gotten that far, he hadn't even thought about that yet, he calculated a few rough estimates out in his mind, it would account for millions if not billions of dollars in revenue, especially if it worked. Tony froze the calculations running through his mind, but Tony knew that wasn’t the idea, shame dousing his previous enthusiasm in a crushing wave. Steve had become Captain America to help people, and if Tony made a dollar off his soulmate's sacrifice he would feel terrible "What the hell do you think of me?" Tony asked his own thoughts bleeding into the conversation before he could stop himself. He wouldn’t do that, it would have been more guilt than even he could have shouldered.

That hadn’t been the response Peggy had wanted though. Her glare hardened even more as she snarled back at him "I think you're a man out for his own gain no matter who you're charging. You are constantly finding holes to slither your way into in the hope of finding loose change, only to cry when you're bitten by another snake. You're a man who says "I love you" whilst looking over a woman's shoulder into the mirror.” Tony’s breath shuddered as he breathed out, his chest feeling tight as he took a small short breath focusing on keeping his mouth shut, his jaw locking as he tried to not focus or feel how much her words hurt. “Steve Rogers dedicated his mind, his body, his life to the SSR and to this country, not to your bank account. I made the same pledge, but I'm not as good as Steve was. I forgot my pledge running around for you like a corporate spy. So thank you, Howard, for reminding me who Steve was and what I aspire to be. For all I know, you did steal your inventions." She scolded “Now get out of my room.” Tony gulped eyes wide as he all but fled the room his walls torn to shreds.

He fumbled with the door as he tried to get himself on the other side of it as fast as possible. His back hitting the wall next to the door after closing it behind him. He sank to the ground and curled up into a ball. He knew she hadn’t meant to yell at him, but he’d still gotten berated and ripped to pieces. He felt so small. Even if he did figure out what happened to Steve’s blood he didn’t deserve it. He was just as bad as Howard. He would never have been worthy of Steve as a soulmate, he’d known that for years but hearing Peggy inadvertently confirm it ripped his heart out. A pang of icy guilt and shame shuddering through him as he curled up on the ground gathering himself. Thank God Steve had been saved from him. Steve and Bucky would never have to deal with him and his ability to royally fuck up a situation, every time, even when he was trying to help.

He didn't want to be Howard. He didn't want the Stark legacy to be drenched in the blood of innocent people.

He didn't want to be Howard.

But maybe just maybe this new project, would be different, it could be different because with this he could help. He didn’t stand to profit from it, if anything this was going to hurt his bank account. But he couldn’t let his past business dealings continue to be left unchecked. He had even more reason to keep his newest developments to himself and not let them into the hands of other people. People who thought like Howard and like he used to, people who couldn’t be accountable, people who didn’t see accountability as a good thing. Checks and Balances were something the nation was based on, and his company needed to have both. As a businessman, he understood that having quality control was incredibly important, and he could serve as that, he was going to be Stark Industries and the military's quality control. 

Starks were made of Iron. 

He would not show weakness.

He would not bend.

He would not break.

He could change the world.

He would not fail.

Starks were made of Iron.

  


\--------------  
July 5th, 2009

  


Tony spent the next month tinkering and building, scrapping designs and then rebuilding them, only sleeping when he passed out on the couch tucked into the back of the lab. He was pretty sure the only reason he was still alive was that Pepper kept coming down and refilling his coffee and the muffins. He got yelled at the first day she realized he hadn’t left the lab since his visit with Rhodey. Now she was bringing him food in the lab making sure he ate, which he did, he really didn’t want to be on the receiving end of one of her glares and rants again about how he needed to take care of himself better especially so soon after he got back. He really didn’t need to piss her off too, she was the only one he had in his corner at the moment. Well besides J.A.R.V.I.S. and the bots, but they didn’t really count, they may have been like his kids, despite how often he threatened to donate them or use them for spare parts they all knew he wouldn’t, he loved them too much. “J.A.R.V.I.S., you up?” He asked as he plugged in his designs scanning them into the computer.

“For you, sir, always.” His AI answered. It was time to rock and roll on this new project and take it to the next stage, actually building it, the fabrication equipment in his lab had been getting dusty and he was excited to dust it off after 6 months of not having a real lab, sure he’d been able to build and create in the cave but this, this was different in his lab he was in charge and anything really was possible.

“I'd like to open a new project file, indexed as Mark Two.” Tony said as he moved the file he’d scanned in across the three screens.

“Shall I store this on the Stark Industries Central Database?” J.A.R.V.I.S. asked as Tony tossed the file up onto his hologram screen.

“Actually, I don't know who to trust right now. Till further notice, why don't we just keep everything on my private server?” Tony said getting up and circling the design that was now in 3D in front of him.

“Working on a secret project, are we, sir?” The AI asked, filing the information for later if Tony didn’t trust something or someone he wasn’t about to disagree with or force Tony’s hand, it would go against his primary function of protecting, helping, and taking care of Tony.

Tony would have shrugged but he knew it didn’t mean anything to the bodiless AI. “I don't want this winding up in the wrong hands. Maybe in mine, it can actually do some good.” He said as he circled the hologram. Swiping at the picture pulling bits and pieces off and trashing them.

Tony started fabrication immediately starting with boots building. The detail he was able to build in his lab made his heart sing. In the cave, he had kept wishing for his lab and his equipment. The fabrication even in his own lab was equal to the stuff at his factory and the exoskeleton of the boots he built in the next 2 months was proof of it. It had taken a bit of work on his part, he’d cracked open a number of anatomy and kinesiology books during his time building the designs he wanted the exoskeleton to move around him seamlessly, and to do that he needed to know how the body moved. 

He fitted the boots with valves and mini pistons that would act as the skeleton’s calf muscle he outfitted the boot with repulsors to achieve lift as he had in the desert. Then when they were finally operational and ready to test in early October he hooked them up to his reactor. He needed a better way to control the boots in the future but for now, a button would have to do. He attached it to the system taping the wire to his arm so it ran down the length instead of hanging off to the side and getting in the way. He had DUM-E set and ready with a fire extinguisher just in case he overshot the power needed and set something, or himself or the boots on fire. U was controlling the camera so he could keep footage of his tests.

“Okay, let's do this right. Testing day 1, October 5th, 2009. Start mark, half a meter, and back and center.” He said stepping onto the test pad. Making sure he was in the proper place. “DUM-E, look alive. You're on standby for fire safety.” Tony said snapping at the robot now equipped with a fire extinguisher. “U, roll it. Okay. Activate hand controls. We're gonna start off nice and easy. We're gonna see if 10% thrust capacity achieves lift.” Tony said rolling his shoulders and bouncing a little in place getting warmed up. “And three, two, one,” Tony said hitting the button and trying to engage his abdominals to stabilize himself. It didn’t work. He immediately felt his legs fly apart, as he took off upward and backward. He suddenly threw his hands out in front of him as he realized he was going to hit the wall. He dropped the button to turn off the boots as he flew upside down and hit the wall. He groaned as he fell to the ground landing awkwardly on his shoulder and back. As soon as he hit the ground DUM-E doused him with the fire extinguisher. All that did was open a new wound on his head and sprain his previously dislocated shoulder again. Betony, Mustard, Rose Rock, and Magnolia. 

He took a shower while he thought over the next step, the water scorchingly hot and the spray getting nowhere near his face. He turned up the music louder as he turned around backward and dipped his hair into the spray quickly shampooing and rinsing it out making sure the water didn’t hit his face. Focusing on the music. He took a deep breath as he wetted the washcloth and squeezed a little bit of soap onto the fabric. He rubbed the soap in being careful around the new cuts he’d opened. Occupying his mind with how to stabilize the boots instead of the water. 

If he built arm guards that could extend the same repulsor technology as the boots to give him more control, four points would be more stable and they would allow for more control in his movements. He would also need to start working out again, the loss of muscle mass from his time spent in captivity was showing, he needed better arm leg, and core strength, especially if he wanted to control his flight path accurately and be able to turn on a dime. Hmm, maybe he could develop something like that for the pararescue idea he’d had early on in this process. They could definitely benefit from the ability to turn tight corners and adjust in the area, especially when the choppers were too big of targets to send in with the RPGs that the opposing forces liked to use. He had J.A.R.V.I.S. bank the idea for later when he finished with the Mark 2. He wasn’t going to give them full armor but carbon fiber wings with a jetpack and the ability to retract and extend at the pilots' will that could actually work out, and if it was for pararescue it would go along with his guidelines of helping instead of creating more destruction.

He dressed in a new set of clothes and had J.A.R.V.I.S. ordered food, Pepper was thrilled to see him out of his hole. She asked him about his engagements for the week which he yet again told her to cancel as he finished his food and ran down into the workshop much to her displeasure and annoyance. He was going to have to get her something extra special for Christmas and her birthday. Like a car. A really nice car. Or a house. He could get her a vacation house in France or up in the Hamptons, no she’d like France better, an Apartment in Paris? Or a villa in Nice then she’d have more than 8 different countries less than a 10 hour drive away. She was definitely getting a villa for Christmas and a car for her birthday or the other way around, he wasn’t sure yet, he’d never been good at gift giving. 9 million on a house wasn’t too bad, was it? He wondered, flipping through villas in Nice on his pad as he walked down the stairs before instructing J.A.R.V.I.S. to buy it. J.A.R.V.I.S. Confirmed the purchase before he was down the stairs. “Outfit it with tech, send in contractors to make sure it's up ready and state of the art for her,” Tony instructed. “Make sure it's exactly what she wants by December,” Tony said.

“And how do you propose I do that, Sir?” J.A.R.V.I.S. asked with a level of sarcasm only Tony could have created in something without a body.

“I don’t know asked her?” He said, sassing back at the AI. “Start an email thread. Tell her I want a house but I want her to design it. Figure it out.” Tony snapped back he didn’t have time to deal with it, that's why he had J.A.R.V.I.S., well, and Pepper but he couldn’t exactly loop Pepper in on the memo of her own present. “While you're at it make a note of her birthday, I don’t want to forget it again.” He said stepping into the lab going to the drawing board for the arm pieces. He fabricated the arm pieces over the next few days, utilizing the repulsor tech on a smaller scale for the palm piece of the stabilizers.

  


\-----------  
October 13th, 2009

  


Tony finished the last few adjustments to the arm before sliding his own arm into the framework, locking it around his arm, and connecting it to his reactor. He saw Pepper walking down the stairs with a box and a cup of coffee. Yea the villa would be perfect, and maybe some vacation time for her to enjoy it. He realized his mind jumping back to the idea of her Christmas and Birthday presents “I've been buzzing you. Did you hear the intercom?” She asked as he finished up the settings telling J.A.R.V.I.S. to set what he had for the next round of fabrication, he had one arm built, and if it worked, which really he knew it would work, it was honestly just a matter of how well.

“Yeah, everything's-” Tony stopped realizing Pepper wasn’t just dropping things off and leaving as she walked over. “What?” he asked as she came closer, her gaze hard and quizzical.

“Obadiah's upstairs.” She said, looking him over, taking in the sling that wrapped around his shoulder and waist and the wires connecting to an overlay that seemed to be pulling power from The new arc reactor in Tony’s chest. “What would you like me to tell him?” she asked watching him, she was glad to see that the muscle mass in his arms had returned plus some. It was the first time she’d seen him in a t-shirt since he’d come back and she was glad that he was looking healthy again. Well besides the few cuts on his face that he’d gotten from what he’d called a minor accident.

“Great!” Tony called hefting the arm piece up trying to make sure it worked and stayed in one piece as he flexed it, the inner skeleton holding up better than he thought it would “Great. I'll be right up.” Tony said. Obadiah had been at a meeting in New York earlier that day, he must have been coming over to report back to Tony what the damage had been for the quarter. But at the moment he was distracted by his project, something that was not new for him, Pepper and Obie both knew how he could get lost in his work. Tony’s mind was much more focused on the task in front of him and testing out the flight stabilizer, after he’d tested it then he would go see Obie.

Pepper eyed him cautiously. “I thought you said you were done making weapons,” she said fixing him with a disappointed stare, the grimace of disapproval clear on her face. He had to admire that a bit, she was holding him to his word, something no one but her would do at the moment. He knew there was a reason he kept her around.

“It isn’t. This is a flight stabilizer.” he explained adjusting his stance preparing for the force as he reached forward to hit the button that turned on the power. “It's completely harmless.” He said as the power whirled to life, the repulsor was smaller and there was only one, not two, 10% should have been fine. He was proved wrong as the blast went off and he, yet again found himself flying across his lab. The power knocking him clean off his feet as he sailed through the air backward and into a table sending his tools scattering on the floor as the table broke crashing to the ground under his weight. He looked up from his place on the floor seeing Pepper’s face halfway set between worry and anger. “I didn't expect that,” Tony admitted sheepishly, groaning from the pain he’d just inadvertently inflicted upon himself. 

“Obadiah is upstairs.” Pepper reiterated.

Tony nodded pulling himself off the floor “Okay, okay, I’m on my way, as soon as I get this off.” He said. Pepper just shook her head turning on her heel. “Pepper.” He called, she stopped looking back at him. “You saw nothing.”

She sighed slowly, grimacing before she gave him a nod of exasperation “I don’t know what you are talking about.” She said flatly before storming from the room, taking multiple deep breaths before she headed upstairs to see Obadiah.

Tony pulled all the equipment off storing it before he ran up the stairs. He followed the music from the grand piano into the living room “How'd it go?” He asked before he saw the pizza from Ray’s sitting on the table “It went that bad, huh?” Tony said knowing that pizza was Obie’s way of softening the blow. Especially when he went to Ray’s.

Obie sighed “Just because I brought pizza back from New York doesn't mean it went bad.”

“Uh huh, sure doesn't.” Tony agreed dryly, the sarcasm being missed on no one in the room as he opened the box “Oh, boy.” he said, noticing that Obie had stuck with plain cheese, his favorite, it must have been really bad because he knew Obie preferred meat and other toppings.

“It would have gone better if you were there.” Obie called from his seat at the piano.

Tony made a noise of disagreement as he chewed, shaking his head before reminding Obie of their conversation from a few months ago. “You told me to lay low. That's what I've been doing. I lay low, and you take care of all…”

Obie stopped playing, grabbing his glass of scotch before joining Tony in the living room as he cut him off. “Hey, come on. In public. The press. This was a board of directors meeting.” He said leveling at Tony.

Tony knew something was up, why hadn’t that been on the docket for him. Not that they could really do anything without him there. “This was a board of directors meeting?” He asked, unable to hide his shock, but the fact that he hadn’t known about it was still worrisome. He’d have to talk to Pepper about that once Obie left. She knew better than to not tell him about important board meetings, something was off, Pepper had dragged him unwillingly to enough meetings. If she had known it was a Board of Directors meeting she would have forcibly dragged him to it had she been told, which brought up the question, why wasn’t she told. What was Obie hiding.

Obie nodded once before continuing “The board is claiming you have post traumatic stress. They're filing an injunction.” He said.

“A what?” Tony asked now he was livid, even though he knew he had controlling shares between him and Obie and that his role as CEO was going to be a hard one to take from him legally.

“They want to lock you out.” Obie continued.

Tony’s mind was spinning through all the possibilities, was that what Obie was hiding? There was no way it had been intentional, right? Obie had been a father to him when Howard had come up short time and time again. There had to be an explanation. “Why, 'cause the stocks dipped 40 points? We knew that was gonna happen.” He said his mind was still reeling at the knowledge that the board wanted to lock him out of the company that had his own last name on the side of it. Obie was coming to him with this, so that was a good sign, the two of them could work this out.

“Fifty-six and a half.” Pepper said from his other side. 

Tony whirled on her, still pissed she’d dropped the ball with the Board of Directors Meeting, even though he knew it probably wasn’t her fault. “It doesn't matter.” He insisted unable to hold back how pissed he was at the situation as he snapped at her, he’d almost lost his place as CEO, he was allowed to be angry. “We own the controlling interest in the company.” Pepper looked over at him, her face carefully blank as she watched, realizing Obadiah had finally been able to pull one over on her, exactly what Happy had warned her about 7 years ago.

Obie sighed from his other side, attempting to diffuse the ticking time bomb that was Tony Stark. “Tony, the board has rights, too. They're making the case that you and your new direction isn't in the company's best interest.” Obie explained. Pepper looked back down continuing to work.

Tony spun back on Obie “I'm being responsible!” He snapped back his impulsiveness and irritation taking over the conversation dynamic “That's a new direction for me, for the company. I mean, me on the company's behalf being responsible for the way that-” Tony said realizing he’d walked himself into a corner, an exasperated sigh from Pepper telling him it was time to shut up. “This is great.” He said pushing himself up and grabbing the pizza box, he needed to be alone, he needed to think and sort through this, and tinkering and building always helped him sort out his thoughts best.

“Oh, come on. Tony. Tony.” Obie said following Tony as he tried to escape back downstairs frustrated that everyone seemed to be doubting his new direction and the fact that for once, just once he wanted to be the good guy and do the right thing!

“I'll be in the shop.” He said, turning to leave.

“Hey, hey! Hey, Tony. Listen.” Obie said reaching Tony’s shoulder, luckily it was the uninjured one. “I'm trying to turn this thing around, but you gotta give me something. Something to pitch them.” He tried, before pointing to the arc reactor in Tony’s chest. “Let me have the engineers analyze that. You know, draw up some specs.” Obie argued.

Tony still didn’t trust him and Tony needed the reactor to stay alive, it kept him from going into cardiac arrest and dying “No.” He said, firmly putting his foot down. “No, absolutely not.” He would not give them the miniaturized reactor technology especially not now that they were attempting to lock him out.

“It'll give me a bone to throw the boys in New York!” Obie tried to talk him out of it talking over Tony again as they disagreed.

“This one stays with me. That's it, Obie. Forget it.” Tony said he wasn’t going to give up what was keeping him alive and what had the power to cause a lot more destruction than good if it ended up in the wrong hands.

Obie was pissed snatching the pizza box back out of Tony’s hands. “All right, well, this stays with me, then.” He was livid that yet again he lost, especially when the reactor was the key to whatever suit Tony had used to escape Raza in Afghanistan. He spun the box around opening it as he realized he was being harsh and he still needed Tony to like him if he was going to get that reactor willingly from Tony “Go on, here, you can have a piece. Take two.” Obie said as Tony snatched only one other slice of plain cheese from the box.

“Thank you.” He said before walking away, he was too mad to deal with Obie or Pepper any more for the night.

“You mind if I come down there and see what you're doing?” Obie tried pressing again for Tony to let him in, he knew whatever he was working on was big since Pepper had let it slip that Tony had barely been out of the lab for the last few months

“Good night, Obie.” Tony called as he ran down the stairs not even bothering to look back at them.

  


\----------------  
October 15th, 2009

  


Tony spent the rest of the night and the next day making the other flight stabilizer. He snuck out of the workshop at close to 3 in the morning to get a few hours of sleep, rinse off the oil stains, and get himself a cup of coffee DUM-E hadn’t spiked with motor oil. His first Robo-son would probably never learn. Then he was back to it and by 3 he was ready for yet another test run. He set the camera up then strapped himself into the exoskeleton he was partway through building “October 15th, 2009, Day 11, test 37, configuration 2.0. For lack of a better option, DUM-E is still on fire safety.” He said before turning to DUM-E wanting recorded evidence of the threat he was about to make on DUM-E’s life span in his workshop “If you douse me again, and I'm not on fire, I'm donating you to a city college.” Tony said to the bot who whirled unhappily and dropped the fire extinguisher mounted on his arm down. “All right, nice and easy.” He reminded himself, taking a second to adjust as he prepared for the force. “Seriously, just gonna start off with 1% thrust capacity. And three, two, one.” He counted down before engaging the repulsors. 

Shakily he lifted off, his hand flying to the sides to help him stay upright in the air, he floated around a bit feeling out how well he was able to move in the air before he cut the power dropping back down the two feet to the ground. “Okay.” He said to himself then heard DUM-E whirling behind him he turned around to see DUM-E following him around with the nozzle. “Please don't follow me around with it, either, 'cause I feel like I'm gonna catch on fire spontaneously. Just stand down! If something happens, then come in.” he said before calling out to J.A.R.V.I.S. for the next test, Jarvis was interfacing with the controls on Tony’s back helping with the force and the signals Tony was giving him for the flight test. “And again, let's bring it up to 2.5.” He called out J.A.R.V.I.S. making a note of it and reacting. “Three, two, one.” He said as the repulsors fired up again. 

The increase in power was immediately obvious, it took a lot more of Tony’s strength to maneuver with the added power. He was moving faster and had to react faster to counter but he couldn’t overdo it as he quickly learned. His test flight took him over the top of his car collection, his very expensive car collection. “Okay, this is where I don't want to be! Not the car, not the car!” he called out as if that would somehow help as he maneuvered his hands and legs to move him off the top of the Shelby Cobra. His correction sent him toward the other side of the lab and over the top of his desk the force of the repulsors scattering the papers below him. “Table!” He gritted out lifting his legs to miss it hopefully not setting anything on fire. He threw his hands up as he was about to hit the monitoring screens. “Could be worse! Could be worse! We're fine! Okay.” He said talking to U and J.A.R.V.I.S. as he headed back towards the test pad. 

It took him a few more moments but he finally started to get the hang of the stabilizers as he maneuvered himself back towards the test mat. He turned around in the air, managing to hold still, hovering above the mat. Before he cut the power to the repulsors, landing heavily back down, he stumbled back a few steps from the force of the impact but other than that it was a successful test. As he looked around, DUM-E raised up, “No, ah Ah AH AHH!” Tony cried out holding up his hand calling off the overzealous bot. Who whirled sadly and dropped its head. Tony let out a sigh of relief at not being doused yet again in monoammonium phosphate before turning back to the camera U was holding “Yeah, I can fly.” he said with a confident smirk, before walking off the test mat with as much swagger as he could manage in the clunky exoskeleton boots, well technically they were going to be the internal framework but he hadn’t built the outside of the suit yet. 

As soon as the boots were off Tony started in on the exoskeleton, he knew all those medical books he’d read years ago would come in handy one day. Tony had made sure to test the whole way through, making sure all the flaps, gears, and joints interlocked and came together efficiently while still allowing him full range of motion. It took him a month to fully put together.

By the middle of November he’d created a full body armored suit, one that he could connect to a computer and upload different programs to, he inserted a screen into the face shield, that was paired up with small cameras on the exterior of the suit, giving him full vision of what was around him, and data on all of it. J.A.R.V.I.S. was going to be his copilot in the suit and would be able to help him with anything and everything just as he normally did but now it would extend to helping him while in flight. Unlike Rhodey, Tony wasn’t trained as a pilot, he hadn’t jumped out of planes more than once and that one time that he had, he’d been too drunk to realize it probably wasn’t a good idea. 

Tony quickly realized he needed an under layer for his suit when he started noticing a rash and bruises on his skin from the framework. He found that a suitable underlayer was a thin bodysuit, it reminded him of what he would wear underneath everything while out on a ski day. He worked hard over the next few weeks to gain the mobility in the exoskeleton that he needed and the sleek design he wanted while maintaining the protection he knew he would need.

  


\-----------  
November 15th, 2009

  


Tony stood on the test mat with U and Butterfingers helping the new bot he’d built just for the suit assemble with the installation of the suit around his body. Tony had already uploaded J.A.R.V.I.S. to the computer he’d installed and interwoven with the suit tech, he wanted the suit to be fully integrated with his AI. That way as soon as he got the face shield on J.A.R.V.I.S. would be able to help him operate it.

Tony slotted the face mask on “J.A.R.V.I.S., are you there?” He asked into the dark suit.

“At your service, sir.” The voice responded as the suit booted up and became operational. 

“Engage Heads Up Display.” Tony commanded the screen on the inside of the mask flickering to life. Tony blinked at the quick change in brightness as he watched the suit run through the different features, magnifying and showing where he was in relation to the ground, the horizon, and sea level even showing where his axis was and if he was tilted to the side.

“Check.” the British AI responded.

“Import all preferences from the home interface.” Tony said, the command happening as he finished his sentence he really did love his AI, J.A.R.V.I.S. had been with him long enough that the ever learning AI had grown to adapt around him and 99% of the time the AI could predict what Tony was going to do or would need next. Tony appreciated how seamlessly the AI fit into his life.

“Will do, sir” came the response as the features popped up as J.A.R.V.I.S. was able to quickly identify and calculate all the things that were around him, keeping up steadily as Tony turned looking around in the workshop.

“All right, what do you say?” Tony asked after a few moments, he knew the upload was going to be fast, but even with his souped up internet, the upload wasn’t going to be instant.

J.A.R.V.I.S. confirmed Tony’s thoughts though “I have indeed been uploaded, sir. We're online and ready.”

“Can we start the virtual walk-around?” Tony asked while reading all the settings, it was looking good, and it was late enough that the sky should be fairly clear, and he wouldn’t have to worry about being seen by too many people since it was dark out. If he was being honest though he was itching to get out of the workshop. He’d spent the last 6 months inside working on this and it was high time for him to go out and stretch his metaphorical legs and see what his new wings could do.

“Importing preferences and calibrating virtual environment.” J.A.R.V.I.S. answered him.

“Do a check on control surfaces.” Tony said knowing he would need that to be in working order if he was gonna take a flight around outside, and J.A.R.V.I.S. would tell him if any of the controls weren’t functional.

“As you wish.” J.A.R.V.I.S. acknowledged as the plates moved and flexed checking all the flaps and joints, making sure the metal slid and slotted together the way Tony knew it would. He had left enough room under all the armor to put in his own weapons, he knew if he was going to go retrieve his weapons from the terrorist cells he was going to need to be prepared. It would have been naive of him to not think ahead for that, especially when he’d seen just how much firepower they truly had accumulated by way of his weaponry. He felt his smile growing as he felt the suit adjust around him. He felt the pieces of the armor shifting as they slotted back into their original place. “Test complete. Preparing to power down and begin diagnostics.” J.A.R.V.I.S. said as the test finished.

“Uhhh, yeah. Tell you what. Do a weather and ATC check. Start listening in on ground control.” Tony told J.A.R.V.I.S. the display flipping up the asked for components.

“Sir, there are still terabytes of calculations needed before an actual flight is-” J.A.R.V.I.S. cautioned as he realized Tony’s intentions ongoing for a test flight. Really J.A.R.V.I.S. had known this was a possibility he had just hoped it was one Tony wouldn’t follow through with since even though Tony was seldom wrong J.A.R.V.I.S. didn’t want this to be the one time he messed up.

“J.A.R.V.I.S.” Tony chided “Sometimes you gotta run before you can walk.” He reminded the AI, it wasn’t like the AI didn’t know that this was his normal way of doing things, dive headfirst into the deep end, and figure out how to swim before he drowned. J.A.R.V.I.S. stayed quiet, but silently wished he had a body to roll his eyes and sigh at Tony’s recklessness, even as he obeyed, preparing for the flight Tony obviously had planned “Ready? In three, two, one.” He counted down before the repulsors fired up. He leaned forward lifting off from the ground as he rocketed forward and up the garage tunnel. He was suddenly going faster than he’d anticipated and his control at that speed in the confines of his enclosed driveway was a bit smaller than he’d realized or accounted for. He hit the roof of the tunnel with the suit scraping against the concrete for the last few yards before he exited and was able to change the repulsor angle and shoot upwards. 

Tony’s heart raced as he maneuvered through the air, spinning and correcting, and figuring out in general how the suit handled now that he had a fully functional suit with better controls. The adrenaline rushed through his brain and body as he flew through the air, his mind quickly calculating and remembering exactly what movements did what, while J.A.R.V.I.S. helped keep him steady, archiving and correlating the movements and actions to each different outcome. J.A.R.V.I.S. and Tony worked together to quickly and efficiently become a seamless unit in their piloting of the suit, J.A.R.V.I.S. adjusting to Tony and Tony to J.A.R.V.I.S. as they both learned how the suit flew and handled. “Handles like a dream.” Tony finally told J.A.R.V.I.S. as they synced up Tony figuring out how the suit functioned best with his co-pilot and AI. He flew towards the Santa Monica pier testing how well the magnification worked and other features, how much detail he could get, and from how far away. As well as testing out how slow he could go while in flight and how fast he could slow down from Mach .3 to Mach .05, a difference of over 190 miles per hour. “All right, let's see what this thing can do,” Tony said as he felt comfortable at the helm, ready to push the suit a bit as he turned skyward. “What's SR-71's record?”

“The altitude record for fixed wing flight is 85,000 feet, sir.” J.A.R.V.I.S. recited back the tinge of worry floating through something Tony had become used to with his AI.

“Records are made to be broken! Come on!” Tony yelled as the suit climbed into the air. Tony watched as the elevation reading on his suit increased as he climbed higher and higher.

“Sir, there is a potentially fatal buildup of ice occurring.” J.A.R.V.I.S. warned flashing the ice warning on the HUD as well.

“Keep going!” Tony called back ignoring the ice creeping over the outer cameras. “Higher!” he gritted out, they were so close even as the accent was slowing down fighting against the thinner air of the upper part of the mesosphere. Suddenly he heard one of his boots backfire as it got too cold, his assent stopping “Ahh!” He cried out as he realized just how serious the dilemma really was.

He was now falling instead of climbing. 

“We iced up, J.A.R.V.I.S.! Deploy flaps!” He yelled the command hoping J.A.R.V.I.S. could hear him even though his screen had gone black in front of him. “J.A.R.V.I.S.!” he called when he didn’t get a response. He was falling quickly though. “Come on, we got to break the ice!” He yelled even though J.A.R.V.I.S. still wasn’t responding. Luckily Tony had a backup plan, he’d put in a manual way of deploying the flaps just in case J.A.R.V.I.S. went down during a fight. He fumbled with the knob on his hip. He hit the joint so that the fingers of his suit could break through the ice covering the knob, allowing him to turn it. The flaps deployed as the ice shattered, his free fall turning into a slightly more controlled skydiving exercise but without the parachute. He hoped the reboot would hurry up, his prayers to a deity he didn’t believe in were answered when the HUD came back online as he got just 500 feet from the ground.

“Yahoo!” He yelled out as the repulsors and stabilizers flickered back online allowing him to dive and slingshot himself down through a city block in LA before launching back out over the ocean and returning to the house in Malibu. Enjoying the spacey and light headed rush he felt as he flew away having circumvented the near fatal fall, the combination of G-Forces and adrenaline causing him to laugh gleefully from the strange head rush, as he flew, it felt like he was floating, he immediately wondered just what it would have felt like if he’d been drunk while making the maneuver. The logical part of his brain kicked in telling him that drinking before he piloted the suit would probably have some pretty dire consequences, at least until he got more adept at flying.

When he got back to the house he decided to land on the roof instead of attempting to go back through the garage, the roof had an access door that was right next to the elevator which he could use to get back down to his workshop. He hovered just a few feet above the roof stabilizing with his hands so he would be able to land on his feet. When he was satisfied with his placement he called it. “Kill power,” he told J.A.R.V.I.S. getting ready to absorb the impact. The roof however was not built for the sudden drop of a grown man plus his metal suit, the impact causing the roof to give way immediately. Tony fell, dropping straight through his roof, falling onto the grand piano smashing it to pieces as he gained momentum in his fall. The floor he was on held up for a moment before it too gave way, and he continued to fall through that floor too crashing into the workshop from above where he landed on top of the 1967 Shelby Cobra crushing the car and effectively flattening the antique car totaling it.

In the single act of a landing gone wrong he’d just sustained a crash that totaled well over a million and a half dollars in property damage, and he’d just inflicted it on himself. That wasn’t even including the two holes he’d just put in his house. Topping it all off was that DUM-E had been right by the car, still on fire extinguisher duty, and had doused him yet again when he wasn’t on fire. Not that DUM-E’d had anything else to do with the bot’s only arm being taken by the extinguisher. 

Tony groaned as he looked around realizing what had just happened and calculating up just how much damage he’d just inflicted, both on the house and himself. 

He slowly disassembled the suit taking note of the scrapes, bruises, and minor burns that stretched up and down his arms, and the strained muscle in his bicep twinged uncomfortably as well as his shoulder and neck which had landed awkwardly. Lupine, Yellow, and Red petaled Roses, Hepatica, and Daylilies twined together on the Captain’s skin half a world away. 

He grabbed himself an ice pack as soon as he got out of the suit, trying to ice away his headache, he swallowed down a few ibuprofen to help with the self inflicted aches and pains. Hoping the old cup of coffee Pepper had left him a few nights ago was still good for the caffeine he grabbed it off the box she’d brought in with it the other day. He stopped as he realized that there was a sticky note stuck to the top of the box. Sure he wasn't happy with Pepper or Obie at the moment but Pepper had obviously taken her time to give him this. He reached out for the present she’d put in plain brown paper. He set both his coffee and ice pack to the side. Ripping away the paper looking down at what she’d had made for him, he pulled it forward tilting it so he could see. It was the old arc reactor, she’d had it mounted on a stand with a line of text around it. He smiled as he saw it was the reactor that had saved him in Afghanistan and started him down this journey of being a better man. The reactor had an engraving around it, he read the encircling words ‘Proof that Tony Stark has a Heart’. He felt his anger at Pepper melt away, she had always had his back, even now she was fully supporting him in his new venture of being a better person, being responsible, and taking accountability for the first time in a very long while. 

  


\-------------

November 16th, 2009

  


He waited till the next day before he started working out the kinks of the suit, his battered body desperately requesting some rest and time to spend recuperating in his large bed. The next night he collected bandages and made himself and smoothie before heading back down to troubleshoot the suit with J.A.R.V.I.S. while the flight test run was still fresh in his mind. He knew he was going to have to fabricate a new configuration with a shell made up of a new material to deal with the icing issue he’d run into. As J.A.R.V.I.S. ran mock-up models on the color scheme for the suit as well. Tony’s attention was caught by the TV playing a clip of the red carpet event for the night, upon seeing that it was his own function he started to wonder why he hadn’t seen an invite for it. What else had he been kept out of the loop on and was it because of Pepper or Obie? The gift from Pepper he’d opened the other night making him lean more toward Obie. That was not something he looked forward to exploring, as the idea of his uncle aiming to keep him out of the loop sat heavy in his stomach.

The line that made up his mind as he decided to go to his Gala came next from the reporter on the screen. “Tony Stark hasn't been seen in public since his bizarre and highly controversial press conference. Some claim he's suffering from posttraumatic stress and has been bedridden for weeks. Whatever the case may be, no one expects an appearance from him tonight.” she said Tony just smirked, he was going to have fun blowing that theory clear out of the water, he had been the exact opposite of bedridden. Now he was going to show them that, and the board too. He wasn’t going to go down without a fight and he wasn’t going to sit by and wait while he had that little nagging voice in his head questioning Obie’s loyalty. He was going to show the world he was right as rain and besides the arc reactor in his chest, healthier than he’d ever been before.

“The render is complete.” J.A.R.V.I.S. said pulling Tony out of his contemplation on what to wear to the Gala.

“A little ostentatious, don't you think?” Tony quipped looking at the solid gold render.

“What was I thinking? You're usually so discreet.” J.A.R.V.I.S. sassed back Tony could hear the eye roll that would have accompanied it if the AI had a body.

“Tell you what. Throw a little hot-rod red in there.” Tony said looking at the Roadster sitting in the middle of the workshop as he filled up his glass with more of the green smoothie.

“Yes, that should help you keep a low profile.” J.A.R.V.I.S. quipped back as he added in the red. Tony zoned out watching the tv. “The render is complete,” he said, gaining Tony’s attention as the color changed on the screen.

“Yea, I like it. Fabricate it. Paint it.” Tony said fiddling with the faceplate on his desk looking over the markings he’d scribbled all over it earlier that day before dropping it down on the desk.

“Commencing automated assembly. Estimated completion time is five hours.” J.A.R.V.I.S. told him as Tony stood looking at the nanite watch he’d taken off so he could bandage his injuries. It was just 10 minutes after 10 pm, he could still make it to the gala, he’d be there in no time with the way he drove. He’d show the world that he was very much alive and kicking and better than ever despite not being seen in public for the last 6 months.

“Don't wait up for me, honey.” Tony called to his AI as he walked out of the lab to get ready.

He pulled up to the Disney Concert hall getting there at 11:15 having cut the drive down in time speeding through the streets of LA with his Audi R8. Causing quite the scene as he walked up the red carpet to his own event. The media had a field day as he confidently walked up to the gala stealing the attention and spotlight as he crashed Obie’s Interview with the guy from Engineering magazine. Obie however didn’t look too thrilled to see him. As he forced a smile realizing Tony had ignored his stay at home and lay low orders. “Look at you. Hey, what a surprise.” Obie said flatly.

His tone telling Tony something was up, and he was not excited to see him. “I'll see you inside.” He said brushing past the man.

“Hey. Listen, take it slow, all right?” Obie said quietly “I think I got the board right where we want them.” Obie said spiking Tony’s suspicions even more.

Tony couldn’t let him know he was suspicious though waving Obie’s concern off, playing the part of an aloof billionaire once again as he walked in. “You got it. Just cabin fever. I'll just be a minute.” Tony said, making a show of just how easy it was for him to run up the remaining flight of stairs and into the Concert Hall.

Tony walked over to the bar ordering a scotch it had been months since his last drink the forced sobriety of the cave helping him get out from under the thumb of his bottled demon. Then when he’d gotten home Pepper had taken the doctor’s advice of no booze seriously and had thrown out all of his bottles. But here, here he was in the public eye again, a celebration drink wasn’t one he would turn down especially when he was the one footing the bar bill. He’d accomplished a lot, he could deal with just one drink, it would only be one he told himself but he wasn’t really sure who he was trying to convince. “Mr. Stark?” a voice interrupted as he turned to look out over the crowd taking a sip feeling the comforting burn of the liquid as it sloshed across his tongue, the need for more settling deep in him as he swallowed the amber liquid, breaking his nine months of sobriety.

“Yeah?” Tony asked glancing over at the suit standing next to him

“Agent Coulson.” he introduced himself, Tony had to stop the automatic eye roll his body wanted to perform.

“Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The guy from the-” He trailed off showing the man just how much he cared. He knew the name but he didn’t want the man to think he cared too much, but he knew exactly what S.H.I.E.L.D. was. He had grown up with Peggy and Daniel functioning as his second parental unit, hell Peggy had saved him from numerous kidnappings as a child with S.H.I.E.L.D. resources because Howard wouldn’t use his own. He knew they had been created to take up the work his soulmates had started and died for in the war and carry it forward. He hadn’t heard about them in a while though. They didn’t operate as openly as some of the other agencies and it had been a bit since he’d seen them really go out of their way to get involved in anything, and without Aunt Peggy at the helm, he wasn’t sure he trusted them as much as he used to.

“Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division.”

“God, you need a new name for that.” Tony said dismissively, looking around for an escape. He didn’t really want to deal with another secret agency right now, he was trying to figure out who was trying to cheat him out of his company. 

The Agent wasn’t deterred though, as he continued to chat, forcing Tony to focus on the menial conversation for a moment. “Yeah, I hear that a lot. Listen, I know this must be a trying time for you, but we need to debrief you. There's still a lot of unanswered questions, and time can be a factor with these things.” The Agent said as Tony suddenly saw the unmistakable strawberry blonde hair that belonged to Pepper. “Let's just put something on the books.” The man continued as Tony watched, fully distracted by his assistant. “How about the 24th at 7:00 p.m. at Stark Industries?” the man said aiming for a week from the current date.

Tony held out his hand for the agent. “Tell you what. You got it. You're absolutely right. Well, I'm going to go to my assistant, and we'll make a date.” Tony said, gesturing to Pepper as he downed the rest of his drink. He breezed away from the Agent whose eyes he could still feel on his back while he moved toward where Pepper was standing in the center of the room chatting with Adam and Rebecca from the Research and Development department. “You look fantastic! I didn't recognize you.” Tony said sneaking up on Pepper as he appeared behind her.

Her shock was evident as she heard his voice spinning around. “What are you doing here?” She asked as a smile broke across her face. He could tell that even in her shock she at least was happy to see him out of the house, a very different and welcome reaction to one he had just moments before gotten from Obie.

“Just avoiding government agents.” He said, admitting that he had just used her as his escape route from Agent Coulson. Pepper glanced over her shoulder knowing she was probably going to be contacted by the agent in the near future.

“Are you by yourself?” She asked turning to look at him, he didn’t often show up to Gala’s on his own, but from what she was seeing, he was in fact by himself for the night.

“Yes. Where'd you get that dress?” He asked admiring the shimmering satin blue dress she had on, looking her over with a smile.

“Oh, it was a birthday present.” Pepper admitted looking a little sheepish as she glanced down at the dress then back up to his eyes. “From you, actually.”

“Oh! Well, I’ve got great taste.” Tony said, smiling at her, letting her know that he was teasing her just a bit, this being the dress he assumed she’d bought for herself just before he’d been kidnapped.

“Yes.” She laughed with an amused smirk as they fell into the essay banter they had become accustomed to over the last 7 years.

“You want to dance?” Tony asked, knowing he had to act normal and do something to distract from his first time stepping back out in public.

“Oh, no.” she shook her head, as he changed the dynamic.

“All right, come on.” Tony said taking her hand and leading her away from the reporter that had been moving toward him through the crowd. He needed to be seen being normal and right now the number of people he felt normal around and trusted was limited to the woman standing directly in front of him and his best friend. Even though he hadn’t seen Rhodey in the last 5 months, he was fairly sure the man would still bail him out in a pinch.

“Thank you. No.” Pepper tried again to no avail as he led her to the dance floor.

Tony felt her tense as she moved uncomfortably with him as he set a steady sway to the piano playing on the stage. “Am I making you uncomfortable?” He asked realizing that in his haste to get away from the reporter he’d yanked her onto the floor with him.

“No. No. I always forget to wear deodorant and dance with my boss in front of everyone that I work with, in a dress with no back.” She rambled looking around with a nervous smile, she was definitely not comfortable with the position he’d just put her in.

Tony realized how nervous she was and tried to settle her nerves “You look great and you smell great.” he said, not realizing she was more worried about the optics to the people around than the lack of deodorant.

“Oh, God.” She lamented dropping her head.

Then he got it, she thought he was flirting with her. “But I could fire you if that would take the edge off.” He teased pulling her back to the present.

“I actually don't think that you could tie your shoes without me.” She challenged his plan working to take her mind off everyone around them. There was his feisty Personal Assistant that he rarely even wanted to challenge.

“I'd make it a week.” He said keeping up the banter as he watched Obie from across the room and how he was snuggling up to the few board members in the room.

“Really?” She laughed.

“Sure” he agreed, keeping up the banter as they swayed.

“What's your Social Security number?” She asked the challenge evident and the fact that she knew she’d won evident by the smirk on her face.

He stalled, numbers running through his head, he knew his Social security number right? He had to have used it at some point crap what was it? If he had ever even used it, it had been at least 25 years ago. “Five.” He said slowly, deciding that carrying on with the joke was easier than trying to remember the 9 digit number. He smiled mischievously as he looked back at her the mirth in his eyes causing her to roll hers at him.

“Five? Right.” She confirmed with a laugh, the smirk growing in size with her amusement.

He knew he’d distracted her adequately and had assured her that he wasn’t going to be firing her despite the Board of Directors Meeting that he’d missed, something he was now 99% sure had been Obie’s plan, especially since Obie had just hustled the few Board Members that had been in attendance at the Gala’s out of the room and away from him. Away from him and where he was very clearly not showing any negative signs of PTSD as Obie had insinuated that the injunction filed had been claiming. “Right.” he agreed.

“Right. You're missing just a couple of digits there.” She said, it being her turn to tease him.

“The other eight?” He asked, feigning confusion for a moment which caused her to laugh “So I got you for the other eight.” He said, settling her nerves even more. “How about a little air?” he asked as she started to flush and tense again as she got a look around the room again.

“Yes, I need some air.” She said nodding. He led her off the floor and to the balcony in the back away from the prying eyes of the Agent and reporter who was still watching him. “That was totally weird.” She said as soon as they got outside.

“Totally harmless.” He brushed it off.

“It was totally not harmless, by the way.”

“We're dancing. No one's even watching.” he said oblivious to just how many people had seen them and just how his reputation was going to affect how they saw Pepper and his relationship now.

“Everybody who I work with… No, you know why?” She said trying to calmly explain to Tony that even though she knew he was different no one else had seen that side of him yet.

“I think you lost objectivity. I think they just... People... We just danced.” he said it was just a dance, he didn’t see what was such a big deal.

Pepper however was going to tell him. “No, it was not just a dance. You don't understand because you're you. And everybody knows exactly who you are and how you are with girls and all of that, which is completely fine. But, you know, then me, you're my boss, and I'm dancing with you.” She rambled trying to get him to see that she didn’t want to be thought of as just another one of the girls that he slept with. She had to fight those rumors off in the office enough as it was, and that dance hadn’t helped.

“I don't think it was taken that way.” He tried again.

“Because it makes me look like the one who's trying to…” Pepper kept going undeterred as he talked over her.

“I just think you're overstating it.” he said, trying to keep her calm as they talked hiding out from the rest of the party attendees.

Pepper just kept going, something he admired about her. The woman could argue with him over just about anything no matter the surrounding circumstances however mundane or dangerous they were. “You know, and we're here, and then I'm wearing this ridiculous dress, and then we were dancing like that and-” She trailed off. Then biting her lip she looked up at him “Tony, I don’t want to end up with everyone thinking I’m just another one of those girls you bring to a party and go home with.”

“You won’t, Pep, you’re not just a random girl in my life. You quite thoroughly just proved, I wouldn’t make it very far without you. I’ve become reliant on you to be there for me and to help me.”

“They don’t know that.” Pepper said biting her lip and nodding towards the door where all the gala attendees still were. He nodded, he did get it, and while the rumor mill and paparazzi didn’t bother him he could see how quickly it could paint Pepper in a negative light and ruin her credibility. He wasn’t going to let the press take advantage of her like that, not when he knew she had a soulmate who she’d been waiting for. His eyes trailed to the mark on her back; she'd never hidden her mark, she’d shown him it a few years ago when she’d accompanied him and Rhodey out for a few drinks at a bar. Rhodey and her had spilled that they both had been waiting for their other soulmates for a while. Both had gotten their fair share of flowers over the years, a few staying permanently but most disappeared back into their skin as the wound on their significant other healed. While normally Pepper didn’t care too much about it, he could tell right now that she did. He didn’t blame her, he’d been the center of a lot of speculation and he didn’t want to drag her into anything she wasn’t ready for. Pepper let out a sigh, her head falling forwards into her hands. “I would like a drink, please.” She murmured, breaking the now awkward tension.

“Got it, okay.” He said moving past her quickly. He swallowed down the sinking feeling that he was going to take her down with him in his selfishness, she didn’t deserve that. He was the screwed up one, he was the one that wasn’t good enough, he didn’t need any papers or paparazzi catching a picture of them and painting her as just another assistant trying to sleep her way to the top. The spark of self-disappointment returning, it hurt far more than he expected it to, leaving a horribly empty and sinking feeling in his gut, weighing him down. This was really his first time dealing with those emotions while sober, normally when the self-pity train rolled into the station he was absolutely plastered. Now he needed that drink as well.

“I would like a vodka martini, please.” she said, still gaining her bearings.

“Okay.” He acknowledged fighting the emotion out of his voice.

“Very dry with olives, a lot of olives. Like, at least three olives.” She called after him letting out a long breath.

He walked up to the bar ordering the drinks, one for each of them, he was gonna need at least two more drinks to deal with the sinking hole that was eating its way into the pit of his stomach. But fate had other plans for him as he looked overseeing the journalist he’d spent the night with the day before his long unplanned Afghanistan trip. Noticing that she was headed straight for him he turned away. Christine, his brain supplied her name, nope, he wasn’t calling her that, he always found that calling a girl the wrong name tended to get them to leave him alone faster than not. Sure it also normally came with him getting slapped but he had a high pain tolerance, he was a pro at getting hit, and the pain from a slap was worth it if they left him alone.

“Wow. Tony Stark.” her voice cut through as she leaned against the bar next to him, her voice fake and bright. She wanted something.

“Carrie.” he said slowly, trying to make the mistake look natural.

“Christine.” she supplied as he messed up.

“That's right.” he said just hoping that if he obliged her in talking for a bit she would leave him alone faster.

“You have a lot of nerve showing up here tonight.” She accused him. Did he? It was his event? He thought even as he panicked, she wasn’t standing down. She didn’t just want something, she had questions for him, this was exactly how she had been the last time. She’d asked tough questions then and she was probably about to pull some more out on him now, especially with him trapped at the bar waiting for the drink order “Can I at least get a reaction from you?”

“Panic. I would say panic is my reaction.” he said, hoping she would leave faster.

“I was referring to your company's involvement in this latest atrocity.” She said, staring him down.

“Yeah. They just put my name on the invitation. I don't know what to tell you.” He said registering he’d obviously said something she wasn’t expecting at her confused face. Then he realized she was in Journalist mode and didn’t care that he’d kicked her out the morning after. Pepper hadn’t been lying when she said Christine had taken getting kicked out of the house the morning after well, it wouldn’t have been the first time, but it was a rarity. She’d said the company, not him. She’d accused his company of an atrocity, yea she definitely knew something

“I actually almost bought it, hook, line, and sinker.” she simpered looking disappointed with him as she shook her head.

He really didn’t know what she was talking about now “I was out of town for a couple months, in case you didn't hear.” he said fishing for her to explain herself, he wanted to find out what she knew. He was used to knowing why people were mad at him. This, however, this, was new and he had an unsettling feeling that he wasn’t going to like where the current road they were traveling down led.

“Is this what you call accountability?” She asked cutting him off, shoving a small stack of pictures into his hands. “It's a town called Gulmira. Heard of it?” She asked, her face righteously smug as if she’d just caught him with his hand in the cookie jar. What she didn’t know was that she had caught a hand alright it just wasn’t his.

He did know the town, it was Yinsen’s hometown he’d heard the man speak about it many times, it had become something of a regular occurrence for the Ten Rings to attack the village, it was along the route out of the area, the only one safe for refugees to travel so it was a stronghold of the groups. They attacked it fairly regularly and had a bad tendency of using human shields, making it hard for the military of any nation to go in and help. “When were these taken?” he asked, his voice suddenly deadly serious as he looked up at her flipping through the pictures. As he recognized the men in the photos as the ones who had taken him. Then he saw the Jericho missile systems, the missiles they’d tried to force him to make for them. Whoever it was that had approved this had just made this personal. And Tony was 99.9% sure he knew exactly who it was.

The fire in his eyes shocked her “Yesterday.” she told him, backing off a bit as she watched his reaction.

“I didn't approve any shipment.” He said those words were new to him, he approved every shipment that Stark Industries had ever shipped out to make sure they were up to his standards. 

“Well, your company did.” She shot back.

“Well, I'm not my company.” He said, looking over her shoulder to see Obie was still outside chatting up the press.

Tony took off past her the drinks he’d ordered forgotten in his fury at the man standing out front of the doors. He made a beeline across the room and out of the doors to where Obie stood. Christine was hot on his heels but had the common sense to stop a few steps up and away from them. “Please, do you mind?” Obie said as the group of photographers bore down on them. He held up a hand keeping them overly enthusiastic cameramen away as Tony glared at him, barely able to hide his rage at the situation.

Tony didn’t mind the press though he’d rather this be out in the open, let everyone know exactly what Obie had been doing. “Have you seen these pictures? What's going on in Gulmira?” He snapped at Obie, giving him a way out.

Obie didn’t take it though, he didn’t even look at the photos, Tony realized Obie was responsible for Raza having the weapons he had in the first place. “Tony, Tony. You can't afford to be this naive.” Obie chided still treating Tony like a child. Obie had always done that he realized, Obie had never taken him seriously. Tony felt the same white hot fury creep up his nerves, the same fury he had whenever someone told him he couldn’t do something or treated him like a naive child. He’d seen the dark sides of the world more so than most people, he’d seen it from Howard but he’d never thought Obie would be in on it too. He never thought Obie would have been just as bad.

“You know what? I was naive before, when they said, ‘Here's the line. We don't cross it.’” Tony snapped back. Obie had always been so close to him his brain was fighting against the idea that he could have been the one to double cross him. Howard would have been rolling in his grave at even the mention of Stark Industries dealing to the opposition. If they were double dealing, Tony knew it would have never been Howard’s idea. "This is how we do business. If we're double-dealing under the table” Obie’s lack of reaction though shook him as he stopped “Are we?” he asked, cutting right to the point. Obie looked him right in the eye then and breathed out heavily, but he didn’t deny it, any of it, he just smiled and ignored the question. Turning to the reporters who were clamoring behind them for a good picture. Tony’s blood ran cold, Obie had sold the Ten Rings the weapons that they had used to attack the convoy, that had attacked him. Obie was the reason he had the Arc Reactor in his chest. 

“Let's take a picture. Come on. Picture time!” Obie called out answering Tony by not answering him. He wrapped his arm around Tony and pulled him closer. “Tony. Who do you think locked you out? I was the one who filed the injunction against you. It was the only way I could protect you.” Obie said admitting it, not that he realized what he had admitted yet but Tony knew it had been Obie now and he’d all but confirmed that this wasn’t a new thing for him and he had probably never had Tony’s back the way Tony had thought he did. Obie had only ever cared about the weapons game and the money that came with it. It made so much more sense now, if he gave both sides weapons it only created a bigger need for weapons and a cash flow that went straight into Obie’s warmonger stuffed wallet. Tony gritted his teeth as Obie told him that, realizing that Obie had probably always been out to get him. Tony watched as Obie walked away frozen in place, hurt, livid, and more determined than ever to not let Obie and his plan of throwing the world into more chaos to earn money come to fruition.

  


———————————

November 17th, 2009 

  


Tony sat on his couch fussing with one of the suit’s gauntlets a long screwdriver held in his hand as he tightened one of the screws in loading up the armor with the weapons stockpile he had in his own possession. Weapons that could cause damage without being too bulky and weighing the suit down even more. He watched the news report as the reporter showed just how dire the situation in Gulmira was. Tony spent the night outfitting the suit with everything he had stashed. Knowing exactly what he was walking into, it was him and his suit versus his own weapons and what Obie had sold them under the table.

Tony was furious, the whirling in the glove reflecting his mood as the growing need to destroy something grew, as he glared at the tv and the gauntlet on his forearm. Tossing the flathead screwdriver on the kitchenette as he stood up raising his arm, the repulsor whining as he aimed into the workshop. He fired the repulsor knocking a light clean off the ceiling 40 feet away from him. May Pepper had been right when she’d said this was a weapon. Walking forward he inspected the destruction the repulsor alone had managed, intriguing him. He stopped as he stood in front of the windows that separated the stairwell up to the house from his workshop. Holding up his hand again the repulsor whined he fired off three shots into the glass paneling feeling a little better, but not much it only encouraged him.

Changing into the undersuit he used for the armor he woke up J.A.R.V.I.S. telling him to get the newly painted and fabricated Mark 3 ready. Tony stepped into the suit’s boots, the robots in his lab helping with a quick assembly of the ready of the armor. He was still livid when the faceplate locked into place minutes later. He wasn’t going to be an innocent bystander, not anymore and especially not now when he knew he could do something about it, the tv had said it loud and clear the situation was too delicate for the armed forces, and anything too big could prove detrimental to the refugees. The Mark 3 was perfect for this they couldn’t get in and out unscathed but he could. If anything this would bring Rhodey around to the idea Tony’d been playing with for pararescue troops.

Tony landed in Gulmira later that day. Arriving just as the terrorists were about to use the guns that Obie had dealt them from Stark Industries to shoot the refugee men who happened to be passing through the village with their families. Tony landed hard, throwing one of his hands down to prevent himself from face planting into the dirt. He had wanted to keep the element of surprise on his side which had meant he’s sacrificed time slowing down. Not that the element of surprise was on his side since he was still met almost immediately with gunfire.

His repulsors whined as he punched and fired at the men raiding the village. He spun hands raised when he was met with the terrorist using the women and children in a hostage situation, he dropped his hands allowing J.A.R.V.I.S. to take care of the men, using the newly updated targeting system he’d installed into the suit. Quickly taking out the terrorists leaving the women and children standing behind unscathed by the confrontation. He watched as a little boy escaped his mother’s grasp running to hug his father who Tony had just saved from being shot. Tony let a smile flicker across his face as he saw the sweet moment, knowing he’d saved the family. Tony still had business to finish; he needed to find the man who was orchestrating the capture of the women and children. He’d seen him when he landed and it was a face he’d grown to know well during his time in captivity. Using a scan thanks to J.A.R.V.I.S. he found the coward hiding behind a wall. He punched through the wall, dragging the man backward through it, tossing him into the middle of the square leaving him to the mercy of the refugee families he’d nearly torn apart before flying away. This had only been stop number one of two on his docket.

His next stop was the Ten Ring’s weapons stockpile that they had stashed in the next village over. That was where he’d seen the Jericho missile he’d designed in the satellite photos. Sure enough, as he crested the hill he saw them. What he hadn’t expected was for a tank to fire and knock him out of the air. The shot was a good one connecting directly with his face, throwing him off center enough that he wasn’t able to correct before he went hurtling towards the ground, colliding with a building. Borage.

The impact did nothing to calm or settle Tony’s mood, if anything it only added fuel to the fire that was his frightening rage. He was going to take this group down, get revenge for himself, Yinsen, and all the others they had hurt. He may have been complicit before, but now he was out for blood. He pushed himself out of the crater he’d just created glaring at the offending tank that had hit him, the tank fired again Tony turned, stepping to the side as he fluidly moved out of the way, letting the shell fly past him. Firing his own weapon back, he blew up the tank, bigger weapons weren’t always best. He turned away using his repulsors to lift off back into the air, bullets ricocheting off the armor as the insurgents fired at him. The armor did exactly what it was designed to, protect him, while he targeted the two Jericho missiles in Raza’s possession blowing them both up before taking off again back to California. He smiled to himself as he left the area knowing that Raza and the Ten Rings would have a hard time terrorizing the people in Gulmira without the weapons stockpile and that they would know it had been him. Tony had only been flying for a few moments and was still struggling to get his breathing back to normal from the adrenaline rush of his personal mission when his phone rang.

“Sir, it's Colonel Rhodes” J.A.R.V.I.S. supplied even though Tony could see that on the heads up display. Of course, it was Rhodey, the man was a Colonel in the Air Force, they had the closest base to Gulmira so it would make sense that he would be calling Tony about the foreign tech their radars had picked up.

“Answer it.” He told his AI. “Hello?”

“Tony?”

“Who's this?” Tony asked still mad at Rhodey for blowing him off months before. He knew Rhodey was going to ask him questions about the suit. Questions that had Rhodey accepted his offer to work together 5 months ago he would have known. Now though, well Tony was in a bad mood and wasn’t feeling as forthcoming, he wasn’t going to willingly give Rhodey all the answers he wanted. Though blowing the Ten Rings to kingdom come had been one of the best healing exercises he could have thought up for his fried nerves and the severed relationship he now had with Obie.

“It's Rhodes.”

“Sorry, hello?”

“I said it's Rhodes.” Rhodey said Tony could tell the man was frustrated as he talked to him.

“Speak up, please.”

“What in the hell is that noise?” Rhodey asked him as the wind whistled past Tony’s helmet, the shell from the tank having knocked his faceplate off center a bit. Now the normal tight seal was broken and had air whistling into the helmet that the microphone was picking up loud and clear.

“Oh, yeah, I'm driving with the top down.”

“Yeah, well, I need your help right now.” Rhodey told him.

“It's funny how that works, huh?” Tony snarked at his friend, telling him he wasn’t happy with him.

“Yeah. Speaking of funny, we've got a weapons depot that was just blown up a few clicks from where you were being held captive.” Rhodey said his tone telling Tony that Rhodey didn’t put it past him to have been involved. Tony really wasn’t shocked that Rhodey suspected him of what he’d just done, Rhodey was smart, and had known him for years.

“Well, that is a hotspot. Sounds like someone stepped in and did your job for you, huh?” Tony said, failing to keep his voice steady.

“Why do you sound out of breath, Tony?” Rhodey asked, pressing him for a clear answer.

“I'm not, I was just jogging in the canyon.” Tony said automatically forgetting that the lies he just told didn’t line up.

“I thought you were driving.” Rhodey said, calling Tony out. His voice flat and unamused seeing straight through Tony’s stupid lie that was now probably going to get him caught.

“Right, I was driving to the canyon, where I'm going to jog.” Tony said attempting to talk his way out of the lie Rhodey caught him in.

“You sure you don't have any tech in that area I should know about?” Rhodey asked.

“Nope!” Tony called back, hearing a voice in the background call out ‘Bogey spotted!’ followed by ‘Whiplash, come in hot.’ Tony gulped “Okay, good, 'cause I'm staring at a bogey right now, and it's about to be blown to kingdom come.” Rhodey told him before hanging up.

Tony dove sideways as soon as Rhodey had hung up, turning sharply and erratically, trying to lose the two jets that had come upon him a lot faster than he’d anticipated. He spun and dove and maneuvered across the sky but was unable to lose the F-22 Raptors following him. As soon as J.A.R.V.I.S. told him that they had had a missile lock on him he increased the power to the repulsors accelerating away from them at speeds well over Mach 1. As the missile caught up he deployed his flares to set it off, he had been hit by enough missiles for the year he really didn’t feel like adding to the tally. The force of the explosion behind him threw him forward and off course. It took him a moment to regain stable control of his flight, he got control of the suit again as he fell through the cloud cover below. He flew back up out of the clouds, which in hindsight probably wasn’t his smartest move. As soon as he broke the plane of the clouds the F-22’s started shooting at him again. He needed a way out, he needed it fast and it had to be in a way that bought him enough time to call Rhodey back. He deployed the suit’s flaps letting the two Raptors shoot forward past him. He then retracted the flaps quickly and accelerated, connecting himself to the underside of one of the jets; it was the best way to stay off of their radars.

“Hello?” Rhodey answered as Tony called him back.

“Hi, Rhodey, it's me.”

“It's who?” Rhodey snarked back making sure he heard Tony correctly.

“I'm sorry, it is me.” Tony gasped out breathing hard “You asked. What you were asking about is me.” Tony said, sounding like he’d just done a series of wind sprints.

“No, see, this isn't a game. You do not send civilian equipment into my active war zone. You understand that?” Rhodey laid into him.

Tony cut him off knowing he really needed to get his friend to shut up for a second and listen to him. “This is not a piece of equipment. I'm in it. It's a suit. It's me!” Tony yelled to his friend hoping that in him telling his friend that the jets were quite literally firing at him the man would stop for a second and be helpful. Rhodey suddenly got very quiet on the other end of the line and Tony knew Rhodey had heard him and was now comprehending the facts and trying to sort out how to get everyone out of the situation as quickly as possible without injury.

“Rhodey, you got anything for me?” Tony heard the question through the phone, and Rhodey froze, he didn’t know how to answer the Major. He could very well tell them that it was Tony, the military’s ex weapons contractor that had just blown up a weapons depot and was now in a high tech suit that was obviously armed. Tony heard the conversation from Rhodey’s phone, it was as if it was narrating his life.

“On your belly! It looks, like a man?! Shake him off! Roll! Roll!” Tony heard as the plane he was holding onto started to spin. He groaned at the sudden spinning motion that he wasn’t in charge of, he’d always hated the teacups ride at Disneyland. The movement dislodged him and sent him flying backward and through the F-22 that was trailing them’s wing, back first. That was going to leave a mark. Anemone. “I'm hit! I'm hit!” He heard the voice yell through Rhodey’s phone.

Tony couldn’t hold back his snarky comment. “You’re hit? You hit me! With a plane!” Tony could hear the small chuckled that was Rhodey listening to the dual sided commentary.

“It's confirmed. He has been hit.” Tony heard the panic over the receiver of Rhodey’s phone. 

“Punch out! Punch out!” he heard the yelling continue.

“Whiplash One down. Whiplash Two, do you see a chute?”

“Negative! No chute, no chute!” He heard the yelling of the pilot who was still in the air. 

Followed by the words that spurred him into action, despite the guy hitting him with his plane. “My chute's jammed!” Tony turned into a dive after the free falling pilot.

“Sir, I've got a visual on the bogey.” Tony heard the call.

“Whiplash Two, re-engage. If you get a clear shot, you take it.”

This time Rhodey was ready to respond “Major, we don't even know what we're shooting at. Call off the Raptors.”

“That thing just took out an F-22 inside a legal no fly zone!” Tony heard the Major override Rhodey’s command. Well at least Rhodey had tried and that Major had another thing coming trying to override a Colonel “Whiplash Two, if you have a clear shot, take it!”

“You've been reengaged. Execute evasive maneuver.” J.A.R.V.I.S. informed him as he dove for the pilot.

“Keep going!” Tony called overriding J.A.R.V.I.S. as his dive got closer and closer to the ground and the pilot who was in trouble. He punched the chute pull, yanking it himself for the airman. Before rolling out of the dive and flying away in the chaos of the chute deploying, using it as cover to escape, staying low to the ground so he wouldn’t pop up on the Raptor’s radar.

“Good chute! Good chute!” he heard the yell over Rhodey’s phone and the cheers from the command room. 

“Tony, you still there?” He heard as Rhodey brought the phone back up to his ear.

“Hey, thanks.” Tony said breathlessly thanking Rhodey for the attempted assist.

“Oh, my God, you crazy son of a bitch.” Rhodey laughed. “You owe me a plane. You know that, right?” Rhodey told him.

Tony laughed as he flew away back towards Malibu off the hook for the time being, with Rhodey taking back control of the room “Yeah, well, technically, he hit me.” Tony teased before transitioning to a more serious note. “So, now are you going to come by and see what I'm working on?”

“No, no, no, no, no, no, the less I know, the better.” Rhodey said knowing that now he had to protect both his job and Tony and the only way to do that was by being ignorant of what Tony had been up to for the past 5 months “Now, what am I supposed to tell the press?” He asked with a laugh trying to figure out how the hell to explain the incident. 

“Training exercise. Isn't that the usual bullshit?” Tony said as if it was the simplest answer in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Floriography
> 
> Aspen - Fear  
> Betony - Surprise  
> Mustard - Hurt  
> Rock Rose - Determination  
> Magnolia - Perseverance  
> Lupine - Voraciously Happy  
> Yellow and Red petaled Roses - Excitement  
> Hepatica - Confidence  
> Daylilies - Pride  
> Borage - Courage  
> Anemone - Forsaken
> 
> and
> 
> Pepper’s new French villa (because Tony's impulse control is absolute garbage)  
> https://www.haussmannrealestate.com/buying/villa/nice/mont-boron/superb-art-deco-of-320-m2-renovated-swimming-pool/
> 
> Thank you for putting up with my slow updating, I was planning to have this up by Friday but then things happened, and I couldn't get into a good headspace for editing till Friday and I wasn't going to try and edit 40 pages in a single night.
> 
> Hopefully, you'll are enjoying this story though, and as always I'd love to hear your thoughts on it or even if you just like it and want to send a smiley face, I appreciate every comment I get and I do try to respond to all of them, especially the ones with questions. =) so yet again thank you and I hope you enjoyed the chapter.
> 
> If you haven't tossed your hat into the poll ring, here is the link again, I'm leaving it open till the next chapter is posted. 
> 
> https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeKrZtOWtOt1VGXXSqzzclv_s4JFpJAvpZ-t9HHcZucrwac3w/viewform?usp=sf_link


	9. Chapter 9: Magnolia

Chapter 9 : Magnolia

Tony had to admit he didn’t expect Pepper to walk in on him attempting to get out of the Mark III. It was her reaction that threw him off though. Instead of scolding him like he thought she would, she just freaked out that the Mark III was riddled with bullet holes. Although, after the initial shock wore off, she’d just rolled her eyes and sighed in exasperation before grabbing two mugs of hot water and a few different tea bags and sitting down on the couch. “Seriously, tea? I’m 70% coffee, was it this? You’ll throw off the delicate balance I’ve finally gotten back.” Tony said, teasing Pepper’s beverage choice, trying to delay the inevitable talk they were about to have.

“It’s 10 p.m. you don’t need coffee.” Pepper stated matter of factly, giving him a pointed look that he knew better than to argue with.

“I always need coffee, preferably in the form of an intravenous drip, but I haven’t figured out how to negate side effects. Introducing coffee into the blood steam currently is pretty dangerous, making it a pretty terrible idea, but I’m working on that.” Tony rambled as he stepped out of the boots. He grabbed the burn cream off his desk, slathering it over the few burns he had on his forearms from the repulsors.

“Tony, I’m trying to be serious here!” Pepper said, watching him fiddle with different things throughout the lab. “Earl Grey, Orange Spice, or Peppermint?”

“What do you think?” He snapped, causing her to roll her eyes and grab the Orange Spice and Earl Grey and dunking the bags into Tony’s waiting mug of hot water. “Also, so am I, intravenous coffee would be the way of the future! Kids wouldn’t need Adderall to stay up all night; they'd have an IV drip. It’d be great for partying and studying,” He called back with a shrug as he shuffled around his desk. Finding the ibuprofen bottle, he popped the cap off and tossed a few of the pills into his mouth, dry swallowing them quickly. 

“Tony, I don’t want to hear about your penchant to stay up for a week straight. The last time you tried that, you nearly blew up the house because you forgot to turn off a machine.” Pepper said, looking at Tony like she couldn’t believe she was, yet again, having this conversation with him.

Tony just waved her off as he moved to the refrigerator. “That won't happen again JARVIS has been fully automated to run every machine. He can turn them off this time,” he said, grabbing an ice pack out of the freezer and strapping it down against his re-injured shoulder. He really should probably have someone take a look at it since he kept dislocating it. Although he knew that all they would tell him was that he should have kept the sling on for the whole time the doctors had ordered him to instead of taking it off halfway through his recovery.

“Tony,” Pepper said, trying to get him to focus on the conversation she wanted to have, and he didn’t.

“What, he can,” Tony said, shrugging as he moved back over to his desk to type in a few commands; he needed J.A.R.V.I.S. to run a damage diagnostic on the suit and get the plates that had been damaged in the attack refabricated.

“Tony,” Pepper said again with a bit more force, still not taking any of his shit or attempts to derail the conversation.

“Will you stop saying my name like that.” he snapped, glaring at her from over his computer.

“I’ll stop when you tell me why the hell your robots were trying to get you out of a suit that is full of bullet holes.” Pepper shot back from the couch, stirring a squeeze of honey into her chamomile tea as she fixed him with a glare.

Tony realized he would have to talk to Pepper, and the sooner he did, the less annoyed she would be with him. Relenting that he should get this over with, he walked over and flopped onto the couch opposite her “Pepper, it really isn’t-“

“I swear to god Tony, if you say it's not a big deal, I will throw this mug of tea on you.” Pepper deadpanned, handing him his mug of tea from the other side of the couch.

Tony took the mug waiting for Pepper to finish making her point so he could finish his thought. “Ok, I won't say it. But it’s not, Pepper, I promise,” he said, taking a sip scrunching his face up in disgust. “I hate tea. I don’t know how you drink this stuff.”

“Tony,” Pepper warned, getting him back on topic.

“What I do! It’s weak and watery, and I can’t make it so dark it reminds me of midnight.”

“Your coffee tastes like sludge and would give any normal human a damned heart attack with the amount of caffeine in it, but that isn’t the point right now. You said no more weapons Tony! You said you wanted accountability. But you can’t get that if you shut everyone out!” Pepper argued, finally able to get him to stay in one place and hopefully have this conversation. “So you want to tell me what you're doing and why the hell-”

“I’m not making weapons,” Tony cut in.

“-It sure as hell looks like you’re back in the weapons game. Every time I come down here-”

“Pepper, come on.” Tony rebuked, upset she would doubt him. He’d blown up his relationship with Rhodey for almost five months over his refusal to get back into the weapons game.

“Oh no, don’t you ‘Pepper, come on’ me Tony, there is a table covered in mini-missiles over there.” She continued jabbing a finger at his workbench, and he realized he’d gotten to a point in the conversation where she was frustrated enough with him to talk over him.

“I can’t explain.” He tried interrupting her, but it was to no avail. He knew he would have to raise his voice to get her to listen. He hated when he had to raise his voice. It reminded him too much of Howard and how he always refused to listen and chose to yell instead of communicating effectively.

“Really? Can you, Tony? Can you!” She snapped, and he swore if looks could kill, he’d be dead. Instead, Tony just found himself pinned to the couch by her icy gaze, feeling ashamed that he hadn’t told her about his current project.

“Yea, I can. If you’d let me,” he said snippily after shaking off the immediate surprise at just how angry she was with him as he resorted to getting defensive, he had answers, but she wasn’t letting him speak.

“How can I believe you?” Pepper huffed, “Tony, you’ve never let anyone in,” she sighed. “You don’t tell us things. You hide and then leave us to play a guessing game of what crazy stunt you will pull next, and then you switch directions and leave us in the dust trying to figure out what happened instead of telling us in the first place. I’m tired of playing guessing games and chasing you around after every hair-brained idea you come up with. It's like you live in dog years! I never know what’s next, and you won’t tell me what’s going on or why and it’s driving me up a wall cause this is big and you’re sticking with it, and normally when you stick with something, especially something this big, you don’t leave me out. But this time. This time you did.”

“That’s not true. I tell you things.” Tony grumbled, feeling more like Pepper’s scolded child than her boss.

“Really? Cause I’ve known you for seven years now, and you still haven’t told me anything truly personal unless I drag it out of you. And even then, you only do it after a lot of pestering, unless it’s big. And that’s ok. You’re a private person, and I respect that, but you are asking me to trust you and hold you accountable, and that is new Tony. That’s big for you! You’re the king of dodging responsibility, and now you want to own it. What changed? And for the love of God, why won’t you talk to me about it!” Pepper asked, crossing her legs as she watched him with her head tilted to the side, trying to figure out what was going on with Tony. Wondering, would he finally let her in. Or would Tony bounce around the subject, leaving her out of his plans like Tony had done so many times in the past? She knew he didn’t open up about things that were bugging him very often. He usually felt like a burden when he did that. She knew he had years of self-esteem issues, all stemming from Howard telling Tony that he didn’t matter and reinforcing the idea that no one cared about him or his problems. Tony hated the idea of rejection, so instead of sharing and being vulnerable, he chose to not share or open up.

Tony nodded, realizing that if anyone was going to stand by him during this, it would be Pepper. As he’d said earlier, she’d definitely caught him doing worse things than taking off a bullet hole covered suit. Standing up, he walked over to the kitchenette dumping out the tea into the sink. Pepper’s eyes following his movements curiously, he opened a drawer, reaching in and feeling around in it before coming back up with a pint of whiskey, dumping an unhealthy amount into his mug, ignoring the disapproving stare Pepper fixed him with as he took a sip. “I was in Gulmira-” He started before making a face and walking to the freezer to get an ice cube to chill the whiskey.

“The place they were talking about on the news last night?”

“Yes.” He acknowledged opening his mouth to continue explaining, but Pepper beat him to it with a question as he dropped the large cube into the mug.

“Why?”

“I was getting to that!” Tony snapped, “Christ, Pepper, if you want me to talk to you, then stop interrupting me.” he glared at her as he took a long sip of the whiskey, letting it calm his fried nerves. The alcohol settled over him like a soothing blanket. The whiskey was an old friend that he knew well, one that was familiar, one that he could predict and rely on.

“Ok.” she relented, backing off. Tony was glad for it cause there was no way he’d be able to get through the story if she was on him with every other sentence.

“When I was in the cave, I wasn’t alone. A man named Yinsen was with me. He actually was the one who saved my life. He was the man who operated on me and put this in.”

“The reactor?”

Tony glared at her interruption. Pepper held up her hands in a sign of surrender, giving him back the floor. “No, it wasn’t a reactor at first; it was just an electromagnet. He actually convinced me to build the reactor.” Tony let his head fall back and sighed. “I’ll start from the beginning.” he relented after a moment. He waited to see if Pepper would interrupt again, but she was quiet, realizing that Tony was entertaining the idea of opening up to her about what had happened in the cave. She wasn’t about to push him away from the notion. She knew he’d been dealing poorly with the effects of what had happened in Afghanistan. Rhodey had told her to be aware that Tony might be a bit different and that he’d had a panic attack on the plane. Pepper had been on edge ever since; she knew Tony was a master in the ability to hide his feelings and push everything down until it all became too much and he lost it. This, though, this idea of Tony sharing his thoughts, this was new, Rhodey’d told her to go check on Tony, but he hadn’t given her any details, so now that she’d seen him, she was worried. He was engaging in behavior that was even more reckless than his typical modus operandi when he was on edge with everything. She’d been patient, but that was before he was in a situation where he could possibly get hurt. Now she wanted an explanation as to why she’d come in to see him in a suit that was riddled with bullet holes. His claim that he was fine had done nothing for her nerves when she’d come downstairs to see that so close to his homecoming from a war zone just a few months ago, and now he was saying he went back. She waited though, knowing Tony needed to talk about this in his own time, and talking over him wasn’t going to help. Eventually, after another long drink from his mug, Tony sighed, chewing on his lip anxiously, taking a few obviously slow and deep breaths before opening his mouth.

———————————

Flashback

Tony sat on the bed after showing Yinsen all the scars Howard had left him with. Yinsen was correct in his previous assessment; it was a critical week for him. A week that he had options in. He could put up a fight rig together a giant explosive and bury them all under mountain rubble. He could attempt to upgrade the piece in his chest; the car battery really would only keep him going for the week, which if he chose that route, he would barely have a week to succeed. But he had Yinsen attached to him in a way. He’d heard Yinsen mention a family, a soulmate, for him to get home to, Tony couldn’t condemn him to the same fate as himself and the other terrorists just because he was in the wrong cave. Maybe he could find a way to bury the terrorists, get himself a new electromagnet, and get Yinsen out. It was a minuscule window to decide in, and there was an exponential number of variables to take into account when making this decision. Figuring out what he wanted to do with the week he had left would take more time than he had.

Tony realized that Yinsen was different from Howard in those moments. Yinsen actually cared about Tony’s choice; he believed in Tony’s ability to make the right choice here. Tony had never really had a mentor who believed in his abilities before. Sure he’d had Mr. Jarvis, but the man had been a butler. Yinsen, though, was a scientist and a good one. Tony wasn’t used to people in his field cheering him on. He was used to them smiling to his face then betting on him to fail. It was one of the reasons Tony refused to fail at anything. It wasn’t allowed.

Stark’s were made of Iron.

Stark’s did not fail.

Stark’s did not bend.

Stark’s did not show weakness.

Stark’s did not break.

They were made of Iron.

He wasn’t going to prove a bunch of two-faced scientists right. But this was different. The man in front of him genuinely did want him to succeed. Tony let the odd feeling of contentment pull at the corners of his lips. “You know I never even expected to get the company. I didn’t think he’d leave me anything.” Yinsen looked over at Tony, confusion marring his time-worn face. Of course, he’d never heard this. Howard made sure to keep the press assured that the Stark’s were a big happy American Dream family. “Howard told me many times that I had been written out of the Will, and that was after I’d started on my MBA. When I was summoned for the reading, I was sure it was just another way for him to embarrass me, write me out and then make me sit there and listen to his Lawyer read it in front of all his friends. Just one last show of how much he disapproved of me.” Tony said, shaking his head. It still baffled him to this day that Howard had left him nearly everything.

Yinsen hummed in intrigue. “What changed?” the man asked. Tony really wished he knew the answer to that question.

Tony shrugged. “Honestly, I’m not sure. Howard never hid his dislike of me behind closed doors. He seemed to tolerate me till I was 4, then I fixed a project of his. After that, Howard never liked me and was barely able to tolerate me when company was over. He would normally just send me away. He’d steal my designs and ideas and use them for his own, he’d been doing it since I was 4, and I fixed his circuit board. I got used to it. He never bought me my own equipment, so I had to make my own. He sent me away to boarding school the first chance he got so he wouldn’t have to deal with me. Then would still come by and take my designs and pass them off as his own and made a fortune at it.”

Yinsen just nodded.

“You don’t believe me?” Tony asked, watching the man. Yinsen looked shocked that Howard was the piece of shit Tony claimed. Tony just scoffed, rolling his eyes. “You know what, nevermind. I won’t burden you with this. No one ever believes me anyway.” he snorted. “Why listen to the spoiled rich kid? Surely, he doesn’t know anything; intelligence and educated are two different things, right? He gets anything and everything he wants?” Tony grimaced, a scowl curling around his lips at the memories. “What would he know about abusive parents? Or having to fight to be seen. Howard and his empire cast a very long and dark shadow.” Tony snapped.

Yinsen held up a hand. “I didn’t say-“

“You didn’t have to, besides I’m used to it, but an MRI machine.” Tony said, “Howard’s name is on it as one of the creators, but that wasn’t him, it wasn’t his work, it was mine. I used his email and contacted the people I was the one who helped create that.”

“You used his email?” Yinsen asked, observing Tony carefully. He knew the MRI machine was invented in the late 70’s Tony would have been young, very young if he’d been a part of that.

“Of course I did. No one wants to listen to a 7-year-old kid, even if their last name is Stark, so I pretended to be Howard. I had figured out by then that it got me a lot farther. But Howard wasn’t interested in medical field technology; he was interested in the next cruise missile.” Tony muttered with a shrug, “I learned to fight for everything I had, every inch of progress or recognition I got, I had to fight for. Howard hated the spotlight not being on him. He couldn’t stand it. It’s why he reacted so poorly to my mark.” Tony said, having acknowledged that Howard didn’t have an issue with the mark or the people it belonged to, it was because that mark was on Tony, that was the issue.

“How did he react?” Yinsen asked slowly, wary of the answer, knowing from the previous show of scars and Tony’s recount of his childhood that Howard had been much more violent towards Tony than anyone ever realized.

Tony watched him for a moment before unzipped the coat again. Then pulled one half to the side shifting carefully to show the raised scared surface around the circular shield on his side. “He tried to remove it. Multiple times. Said I didn’t deserve them, that I was a disgrace to their memory.” Tony said, unsure if Yinsen could make out the shield in the dim light but the raise and the red scarring around it, that he knew the man could see.

“He knew them?” Yinsen asked even though, based on Tony’s word, they both knew the question was rhetorical.

“Pretty sure the world at least knows about them in some way.” Tony sighed, feeling just a bit lighter, finally telling someone who they were lightening the heavy burden of knowing and not being able to say anything.

Yinsen shifted, taking another look down at his exposed side. Tony turned as well towards the fire so he could see the mark in better lighting. Yinsen’s eyes widened as he realized just what Tony was talking about. “It’s the Captain and Sergeant’s?” Tony nodded.

Captain America and his Howling Commandos were stories told and taught throughout the world. They had been the first military special forces unit and had been made up of soldiers from 3 different Allied countries. They had taken down Hydra and saved countless lives in their short year and a half of being a unit. They’d freed soldiers pinned down by the enemy, taken out bases, released entire groups from trains headed to concentration camps, saved and relocated countless numbers of prisoners. They then had escorted them back to the allies’ side of Europe. They had been some of the biggest heroes of the entire war, and everyone was told their story. Everyone knew Bucky had given his life in the fight against Hydra, the Commando’s constant rival in the war. It had come out in the ’70s that he had done it while saving his Soulmates’ life; it had been a massive revelation for the world and had catapulted the rights of same-sex soulmates over the finish line of equality. Of course, Yinsen would recognize the shield. It was one of the most prominent symbols of hope, love, and sacrifice that the world had.

“Yep, it's an exact match too. I’ve checked. Even the shading in the outer rings is a match. I spent so long staring at it, trying to find a difference, something to tell me it wasn’t them. But it’s not there, I was given the mark of two dead men. Howard hated it. He knew them, he was friends with them, but I got marked as their soulmate, while he remained markless. I spent my life trying to live up to his impossible standards. Trying to get him to see me as good enough for them. It didn’t matter what I did though, he never changed his mind. It’s why I was so shocked that he gave me Stark Industries. He’d always made it clear growing up that he didn’t trust me with his company. Hell, we only could ever talk business over emails we sent from half a world away. Emails from employee to boss were the only way we ever could discuss Stark Industries. When that Lawyer read my name and gave me everything not previously mentioned in it, I think I was the most shocked person in the room. None of them got why, but none of them had ever known that the Howard I got behind closed doors wasn’t the same person that they saw day-to-day.”

“None of them?”

“No. The closest person to get even remotely close to the truth would probably be my Aunt Peggy, she’s smart as a whip, and if I’d seen her more than twice a year, she would have probably figured it out. But even when she was around, Howard was smart enough to put on a facade of us being a typical American family. Get a few drinks in them, and they always would fall back into being wartime buddies. Any changes she saw she wrote off as being a part of the war’s most significant battles, changes in his character over time, and the fact that they both were a part of some of the most horrific events and projects that the second world war ever saw. He was a smart man, abusive, but intelligent. He made sure no one ever saw anything.

“Howard made me the man I am today. I took over at 21, and I made Stark Industries the world’s most prominent weapons developer. I made it my mission to protect our troops. As you guessed, I’m the Captain and Sergeant’s. I wanted to live up to their name and the bar they set to do the right thing and do good for the world. I figured that I might as well do my best to make those who committed to saving our country all the support and protection I could. To uphold the legacy my soulmates left behind, try to continue their excellent work. Obviously, that didn’t pan out.

“Originally I set out to make them proud, to outdo all of Howard’s wildest dreams of what the company could be, of what the military was possible of when it came to protecting and arming our soldiers. But in doing so, I just ended up turning a blind eye to the lack of accountability in the world of war. I was so focused on outdoing him that I missed the fact that my weapons ended up in the hands of terrorists. That is not something that the Captain and Sergeant would have been proud of, so now I have to face my consequences. I’ve become just as bad as Howard, something I never wanted.” Tony said, resting his head in his hand, scrubbing it across his face in aggravation.

“Then change,” Yinsen said with a shrug as if it was the simplest thing.

“It's not that simple,” Tony gritted out, exasperated with himself. He’d let so much happen on his watch. So many people had been hurt. It was never what he’d wanted to happen.

“What else do you have to do? If this was never your intention, so change, fix it, become accountable. You’ve already proven you’re stronger than your father,” Yinsen said, trying to inspire Tony to fight back, to be the person he believed Tony could be, especially when given a push in the right direction.

“Howard.” Tony corrected, keeping his voice level as he spoke about the man.

“What?” Yinsen asked, not initially registering just how deep-seated Tony’s disdain of Howard was.

“Howard, he may be related to me, but he wasn’t a father to me,” Tony explained, kicking at the ground in frustration. Everyone else he’d known seemed to get parents and mentors they liked. Tony got an abusive asshole who taught him how to fight and survive and how to second guess himself and overthink and be absolutely paranoid, almost to the point of not being able to function. It took Tony years to sort his issues out, and he was still left with a colossal list of personality flaws due to all the mistreatment. Howard had been right though Tony wasn’t worthy of his soulmates, not yet at least, maybe not ever.

“Ok then, you have already proved you’re stronger than Howard,” Yinsen said with a nod to him.

“Yea?” Tony scoffed. “How do you figure that? He asked, shaking his head as he continued to kick at the dusty floor with the beat to hell Italian loafers he’d arrived in Afghanistan with, feeling the dust get in between his toes through the holes in the shoe.

Yinsen watched as Tony fidgeted, slowly realizing just how much damage Howard’s treatment of him over the years had done to him. Yinsen nodded slowly, thinking through his words carefully before speaking, knowing that Tony hadn’t heard the support of many people in the science and technology field with similar levels of schooling as him. Yinsen saw that Tony had been fighting an uphill battle for a long time, and here and now, he could make a lasting impression, and he wasn’t going to let it slip away, not when so much depended on it. Tony’s outlook on himself and thus the fate of millions of lives could very well be riding on these next words “Unlike him, you realized your mistake; and the important part, you want to fix it. You overcame everything he and the world threw at you and were still successful. You know more can be achieved and that you can do it without such a high cost of human lives. You can change the system. You can be the variable that transitions the world into a new age of peace. If that’s what you want,” Yinsen said, choosing his words carefully. Knowing that Tony was listening, he just shrugged nonchalantly in response. Before zipping his coat back up, still scuffing, his feet in the dirt.

“Sure, I still have to get out of here though,” Tony said finally as a shiver wracked up his body.

“True, but I have a feeling that you can solve that problem,” Yinsen said with a smile.

Tony glanced up, meeting the man’s eyes, trying to see if the man sitting across from him actually believed what he was saying or was just pulling his leg again. “Yea, what makes you think that?” Tony asked, still watching the man for any change or flicker of doubt he had about Tony’s abilities, surprised when he saw none.

Yinsen looked back at Tony with an air of confusion. “Well, you said it yourself earlier. You never had a standard workshop as a child. You are used to working within the limits of your mind, not the limits of your environment. So why should this cave stop you this time? And this time, you have an assistant,” Yinsen told him, smiling at the scruffy man who nodded in begrudging acknowledgment of the fact.

“Yea, and how do you know I’m strong enough?” Tony asked, still not entirely convinced.

“I’ve heard this story before,” Yinsen said.

“What? From who!?” Tony whirled on the man, his eyes wide as panicked washed over him, spiking his heart rate dangerously. He’d done so much to make sure no one ever heard his story. How had this man heard it before?

“No, no, you misunderstand,” Yinsen called, quickly holding his hands out and lowering them slowly as if trying to stop his current panicking mind and train of thought. “Not your story, in particular, a story like it. You see where I come from, we have an old story similar to yours, a story we tell our children at night, I believe you would call it a fairy tale of sorts.” Yinsen said, not quite knowing if that was the story’s right connotation, it really was more of a fable.

“You do?” Tony asked after a moment to register what Yinsen meant.

“Yes. We have a tale about a Prince. A Prince who was much hated by his King. The Prince was banished to the underworld just before his 16th birthday. The date when he would become eligible to be crowned heir to the throne. He was jailed there in the underworld. The evil King would send tasks for the prisoners each day. The King would send him the most difficult labor and tasks, causing him to work in the iron pits and learn how to work the forge. Day after day, the King would task the Prince with jobs. They would send him into the hottest parts of the underworld, and since he was a Prince, no one would help him. Angry and judgemental of the young man’s royal blood, even though he was treated just like the others in the underworld. The others never helped and, given a chance, would cast stones and lumps of iron ore at their Prince taking their grievances out on the closest thing they could to the King. But the Prince paid them no mind knowing their quarrel wasn’t with him but with the King. The Prince grew up in the underworld, doing the King’s tasks that required the most labor, the hottest forges, the heaviest amount of iron.” Tony sat and fiddled with the battery next to him absentmindedly, trying to distract himself from the itchy skin under his beard. The week of torture, the emergency surgery to keep him alive, and the lack of ability to wash had left him in dire need of some personal hygiene, but he couldn’t really bring himself to care all that much.

His eyes flashed up, showing that he was listening even if it didn’t necessarily look like it as he scuffed the floor and worried the hem of his jacket. Yinsen went on. “Year after year, the Prince mined the heavy ore, becoming so strong he could crush pieces of it together with his bare hands or break off pieces with his fingers. He had grown used to the daily work, the King’s near-impossible tasks making him stronger and stronger. Each day the King pushed him harder and harder, and those around him and those in the underworld with him still never stopped to help. But now, it wasn’t out of disdain for his royal blood but because they knew he didn’t need the help, and they respected him for never complaining and his hard work. They had watched him grow. The others knew he wasn’t the King. He was stronger and had learned how to work for everything he’d ever gotten. Too late, the King realized his mistake. In a wild attempt to fix his mistake, he summoned the Prince back to the castle, convicting him of crimes the King knew he didn’t commit and sentenced him to death as a traitor. The King drew his sword, knowing the man was strong; aptly, the King chose his finest sword, the one made in the underworld by the Prince. He struck at the Prince with the sword. But the Prince had become strong in his time in the underworld, he learned how to work hard, and he had become stronger than even his own work. The sword broke as it hit his back, splintering, shards raining down off his back, scattering across the floor of the throne room. The Prince himself had become strong as iron, something not even the King could have foreseen or attempted to tame. In his fear of the Prince’s newly discovered strength, the King ran. Leaving the Prince to rule over the land. The Prince was a strong and just leader having learned to work hard and overcome all odds from the years he spent in the underworld.” Tony smiled and nodded from where he sat. Yinsen stood up to fetch a few items from the small washbasin. Yinsen walked over, setting the tools in front of Tony, along with a wet towel that didn’t look too grubby, some soap, and a bowl full of water that he’d heated over their fire. “It's time you cleaned up and showed them just what the Prince can do.”

Tony let a smile tug up a corner of his mouth as he nodded, accepting the shaving supplies. “Thank you.” he acknowledged before readjusting the items so he could see himself in the mirror. Dipping the towel into the water, he wet his face, starting on the slow process of cleaning himself up.

End  
———————————

Tony relayed the story to Pepper, only leaving out the part about who his soulmates were. He wasn’t quite ready for anyone in the real world to know that yet. Rhodey didn’t even know, Sure Rhodey had seen the Mark, but to Tony’s knowledge, Rhodey hadn’t known who it belonged to. Pepper didn’t need to know that part, and he still wasn’t quite ready to share that with either of his friends. Luckily for him, she didn’t push the subject. She just nodded, sipping on her tea. “So you want to help clean up the weapons that have ended up in the hands of terrorists.” Pepper clarified.

Tony nodded. “Exactly. My weapons have created more destruction and pain than I realized. I was naive to not look around before, but now? Now, I don’t have a choice. I don’t want Stark Industries to be tied to any more destruction; we’ve caused enough pain. Now it's time to make it better.” He said, pouring more whiskey into his mug taking another sip.

“How did they get them? You approve every shipment?” Pepper asked, taking the whiskey and pouring some into her tea, not letting Tony drink alone.

Tony grimaced. “The ones that don’t pass my inspections, those are what’s been going out. The only good part is that they don’t go off 100% of the time, but even with them being 70% effective, that’s dangerous.” He said, shaking his head as he realized just how much damage terrorists could do even with the weapons he’d chosen to discard over the years.

“Tony, that means it’s an inside job,” Pepper said, her eyes wide.

Normally Tony would have retorted with something snarky, but this time he didn’t. Tony only nodded. “I know.” He agreed, “I’m pretty sure it’s Obadiah that’s been dealing under the table too. It would explain why our recycling costs are so low. Hell, I’m sure if I looked back in the financial records, I could all but pinpoint the year he started dealing under the table.” Tony said, making a mental note to do that at some point.

Pepper watched him as she took a sip from her cup. “So what do we do instead?” She finally asked.

Tony looked up, “Clean energy, Personal Tech phone, smartwatches, laptops, tablets, we’ve kept the contracts with the military for protective equipment and medical. We can invest more into the medical field, buy a company or two that’s doing the right stuff. Connect with Candice and the RJBC, find companies we like that are struggling, buy them, and then let them work on whatever ground-breaking project they want to with more funding than they have ever been used to. Get into community outreach, start funding kids to get into science, whatever we want really.” Tony said with a shrug pouring more whiskey into his empty mug, ignoring Pepper’s disappointed face at his choice to resume drinking.

Pepper nodded. “Ok then, we’ll start working on that tomorrow.”

“Ok.” Tony agreed, holding up his mug to her. She raised her teacup, clinking it against his before they both drank to a very loose game plan for Stark Industries future.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said after draining the whiskey from the mug into her mouth then standing up from the couch to set the cup into the dishwasher.

Tony nodded to her “Bye Pepper.” Tony called back as he relaxed back into the couch cushions moving the ice pack from his shoulder to his head as he took a sip of whiskey from the cup.

———————————

November 24th, 2009

Tony felt bad calling Pepper down into the lab, but he needed her to go do something. He needed to know where the last few shipments of unauthorized weapons had gone. Tony needed to see where else had Obie been double-dealing. He wasn’t worried about her seeing the suit anymore. Not after she’d caught him trying to get the thing off. A task that ultimately resulted in him using a screwdriver to pry loose a few of the plates that had jammed together upon impact with the plane, tank shell. A few bullet holes were also to blame though, having bent the metal along key seems out of shape. He was still surprised she hadn’t freaked out on him more than she had. She’d been up and down the stairs all week with new project proposals, company acquisitions, and contracts. But this time was different. This time, it wasn’t about the company’s new direction; it was about his quest to make the world a better place; something he had a feeling Pepper wasn’t 100% on board with yet.

He was glad he had Rhodey and Pepper in his corner now because the more he looked at it, the more he realized Obie wasn’t in it anymore. Tony was starting to recognize as well that the man never had been.

Tony knew he needed to get Obie out, but first, he needed evidence that Obie was acting counter to the company's best interest. The type of PR scandal that would come from dealing weapons to terrorists under the table would be the exact thing Tony needed to get the injunction overturned. He’d already made his stance clear and tried to change the direction. It would just look like Obie was stuck in the old ways and couldn’t change with the times. Every board’s worst nightmare, leadership that got stuck in the same old pattern and didn’t know how to navigate out of the cycle and change with the times.

First, though, he knew he would have to take the suit back out to clean up the other weapon’s Obie had sold to terrorist cells, so he was in the lab working on the suit's wiring, making it more seamless and integrating more perks and gadgets.

He heard the door open and the click of Pepper’s heels as she walked in. He was putting together the recently fabricated pieces and focusing on the wiring. “Hey. You busy? You mind if I send you on an errand?” He asked, getting up from his seat, looking around to see where he’d placed the chip he’d coded to hack into his own company’s mainframe. “I need you to go to my office. You're going to hack into the mainframe, and you're going to retrieve all the recent shipping manifests.” He said, finding the box he’d stored the chip in, pulling it out, and handing it to her. “This is a lock chip. This'll get you in.” He explained, knowing Pepper could keep up, but while she could execute the orders, he had built the firewall so it would take him and his coding to get past it. “It's probably under Executive Files. If not, they put it on a ghost drive, in which case you need to look for the lowest numeric heading.” He told her, moving back to the workbench, still chatting away.

Pepper didn’t look thrilled by the task. In fact, the look on her face showed the opposite. He hadn’t seen her reluctant to do anything for him before. Ok, maybe a few times, but this was the first time he’d seen it concerning something that actually mattered. “And what do you plan to do with this information if I bring it back here?” She asked, observing him carefully.

“Same drill.” He told her, as he calibrated one of the machines trying to act nonchalant about it, Tony knew he’d scared her when she’d seen all the bullet holes in the suit. “They've been dealing under the table, and I'm going to stop them. I'm going to find my weapons and destroy them.” He wasn’t going to let people get hurt when he knew he had a way to stop them. He had to be better for the people he’d lost Yinsen, Jarvis, Ana, and Aunt Peggy. Peggy may have still been alive, but she was still lost to him. She wasn’t able to differentiate him from a younger version of Howard. He doubted she’d ever get to be his Aunt Peggy again. For the people, he still had Rhodey, Pepper, Happy, and Uncle Daniel. And for the people he’d never known, Steve and Bucky, all the people he cared about. He had to be better and work harder. He had been given a mind and the means to save people and help the world. If he didn’t use that, if he didn’t try to make the world a better place, then he would be just as bad as Obie and Howard. He’d wanted to do it years ago when he started the RJBC Foundation, but Tony’d let it fall to the side when he had inherited Stark Industries. Now he knew he had to focus on both. He couldn’t let what he had been doing remain his daily standard. Tony had to grow and change to make the world a better place.

“Tony, you know that I would help you with anything, but I cannot help you if you're going to start all of this again.” Pepper said slowly their dynamic had changed in the last week. They cared for each other a great deal. Pepper had been more protective of him and much more worried. She’d dragged him out of the lab every day for lunch and was very adamant that he got to bed on time, somehow even talking J.A.R.V.I.S. into shutting the lab down at midnight so he couldn’t work too late. But it hurt that she thought he wasn’t doing the right thing. He thought he’d made it clear that making and selling weapons wasn't in the cards anymore and that he wasn’t going to be responsible for any more destruction. He had a new purpose, one that he could do and one that he finally felt was the right thing. He was finally going to help. He would do more than just donate money and hide behind the RJBC Foundation, the Maria Stark Foundation, and the September Foundation. He could do some real good on the front line.

Why didn’t Pepper understand? He had to take the heat. This is what he was meant to do, the Mark was there for a reason. He was meant to continue their fight for justice. “There is nothing except this. There's no art opening. There is no benefit. There is nothing to sign. There is the next mission and nothing else.” He said, trying to get her to understand that this was what he needed to do, he already had one hell of a hole that he needed to climb out of, and this was the way that he stopped digging it deeper.

“Is that so?” she asked. “Well, then, I quit,” she said, tossing the drive down. Tony stood there in shock. He hadn’t expected that. Now that he was suddenly trying to do the right thing, Pepper was willing to walk away.

Tony couldn’t believe it. “You stood by my side all these years while I reaped the benefits of destruction. And now that I'm trying to protect the people that I put in harm's way, you're going to walk out?” He was talking before he realized it, but kept going once his brain caught up with his mouth, which admittedly didn’t take very long. He needed to know the answer from her though, was she really going to leave him now that he was trying to do the right thing. He’d lost so much was he really going to lose his closest friends trying to do the right thing?

Pepper turned back to him, her face serious. He realized she wasn’t taking any of this lightly. “You're going to kill yourself, Tony. I'm not going to be a part of it.” She told him, making eye contact. He watched her closely, realizing there was more to it. She was frightened for him. She was dismayed that he’d hidden something this important from her. Something he’d gotten hurt doing. Hurt that he would ask her to help him with something they both knew would most definitely get him hurt again and again. And yes, in the long run, yea, it would probably kill him. He hadn’t expected that to be her reason for saying no. He wasn’t used to people caring.

But that was something he could work with. “I shouldn't be alive, unless it was for a reason.” He told her. He needed her to understand that he was just trying to do good and that he wasn’t going to waste the second chance Yinsen had given him.

‘Don't waste your life.’

He could almost feel Yinsen poking him in the chest, tapping the arc reactor gently as he promised the man he would do better. Yinsen had given him a way to be better, and he knew what he had to do now. “I'm not crazy, Pepper. I just finally know what I have to do. And I know in my heart that it's right.” He told her seriously, trying to convey that this really was something he stood behind and needed her support in. He was relieved as he watched her face change as he spoke, accepting that she couldn’t leave him alone in this. Which was probably a good thing since she ended up being his conscience more often than not. If he was set on going down this path, he would need her in the coming months and years to stand with him, help guide him and smack some sense into him as required. “And I need you to be in this with me.” he ventured, “You and Rhodey, you’re all I have,” Tony said, leveling with her from his spot in the workshop surrounded by tools and his bots.

She sighed, letting out a long breath before walking back over and picking the drive back up. “You're all I have, too, you know,” she told him. He knew it was her way of telling him that she was worried about him. He just nodded, knowing no words could express the bond of trust and friendship he’d developed with them over the years.

———————————

Tony finished up the final few things on the Mark 4 before storing it away under the workshop floor for later use. He wanted the suit to be flight-ready by the time Pepper got back. Tony finished up the project early, which meant now he was just waiting for her return. Until then, he could email the board and order himself some dinner. Tony walked upstairs to continue working on his proposal for the board of directors to show them the new direction he wanted the company to go in. He was headed to his office when he heard the house phone ring. Tony scrunched up his face in confusion. The house phone ringing wasn’t T. He hadn’t had the house phone actually ring for the last 5 years, not since he’d integrated J.A.R.V.I.S. with the house. J.A.R.V.I.S. always told him that there was an incoming call but didn’t have the phone actually ring, so this was different. 

Tony followed the sound into the living room. It sounded like the phone was on the couch, which would make sense. The sofa was typically where Pepper set up shop while working from his house. He was pretty sure there was a new dent in the cushions from her sitting in the same spot since May. Tony found the phone under one of the throw pillows Pepper had insisted on. He picked it up, seeing her name. Tony answered, pulling the phone up to his ear. “Tony?” he heard her slightly frantic voice as she spoke, not giving him the time to answer between questions.

Tony couldn’t help but be amused by Pepper’s inability to let him talk while worried. At least he knew somethings would never change. Before he could speak though, an all too familiar frequency cut in. Tony immediately recognized the Sonic Taser they had designed a few years ago. “Tony, are you there? Hello?” This was bad. He felt his muscles locking up with the sound from the small device; thankfully, it was on the side away from the phone, they never had tested it through a phone, but he didn’t want to find out what it did while talking to Pepper. His heart rate skyrocketing as the terror ripped through him. The phone was pried out of his fingers, hung up, and tossed aside.

His heart rate only spiking more as he heard Obie’s voice, “Breath. Easy, easy.” despite the calm voice he was using. “You remember this one, right?” Obie asked as Tony’s eyes flickered over to the device, confirming his suspicions as Obie turned it off. “It's a shame the government didn't approve it. There's so many applications for causing short-term paralysis.” Obie said. Tony could hear the smug expression on the man’s face, thinking he’d won. Tony was frozen. He knew what Obie wanted. He wasn’t stupid enough to not be scared as Obie walked around the couch, grabbing his face roughly. Tony just had to hope that the man would grandstand for a sufficient amount of time so the paralysis would wear off. Had Tony’s body been cooperating, he would have been hyperventilating, but instead, he was stuck ridged on the couch with ice in his veins, waiting for Obie to take what he wanted. The heavy grip on his shoulder was sure to leave a bruise to go with his bleeding ears. Mandrake. “Ah, Tony,” Obie said, pulling out the earplugs. “When I ordered the hit on you, I worried that I was killing the golden goose.” 

Tony hadn’t expected to hear that. He hadn’t expected that the man he’d grown up calling an Uncle had hired the Ten Rings. Tony’s chest seized up with the knowledge Obie had just dropped on him. He felt like he’d been hit by a truck; Howard had yet again been right. Tony was unlovable. Howard’s best friend and business partner even turned on him. It really was only a matter of time before he lost Rhodey and Pepper. Both had already tried to push him away this last year. Hell, Pepper had tried to walk out earlier that day alone. The mark yet again was right; he was alone. No matter how Tony had tried to change that, he wasn’t destined to be a happy part of anyone’s life. He would never find Forget-Me-Nots on his skin. Devotion marks would never be in his future. No one was going to make that commitment to the broken man. 

Tony could only stare at Obie, his body unable to move as he watched the other man literally rip out his own heart. The whirling of the extraction device hummed in his ear. He saw the smoke rise from his shirt as the extractor burned through the white thermal he had one. Obie was wasting no time in taking what he wanted. Tony was just in the way. Why’d he think Obie was different. After all, they had been both business partners and best friends. Why wouldn’t Obie have felt the same about Tony as Howard had? Hell, Obie had even been witness to the abuse Tony had undergone and hadn’t said anything. Why should he expect him to be different? How had he been so blind? “But, you see, it was just fate that you survived that.” Obie plunged the grip in, causing an uncomfortable pressure to stretch through his ribcage, the wind rushing out of him as Obie shoved the plunger down, messing with his already diminished lung capacity. “You had one last golden egg to give.” Tony glared up at Obie the best he could as the man lifted out the arc reactor from his chest. 

Obie held the reactor above his chest. Tony was lucky that he hadn’t pulled the reactor even farther, yanking it out of the baseplate as he spoke. Tony was glad that Obie’s ego was as big as it was. It allowed him a bit more borrowed time as Obie, did indeed, choose to grandstand, “Do you really think that just because you have an idea, it belongs to you?” Obie asked. Tony wanted to scream in aggravation. He wanted his gauntlets so he could slam his fist into Obie’s face. He’d only wanted to hurt a few people as much as he wanted to hurt Obie right then, the shortlist of two expanding to three. His face was so smug as he held Tony’s reactor. The man had watched him suffer for years and never done anything about it. He’d just let him continue to be hurt. Obie may not have helped Howard harm him, but he was still complicit, helping cover it up. He wondered what else Obie was hiding over the years. Tony really needed to get better at telling JARVIS his random side thoughts. He had quite the list stacking up for him.

Tony wished his mouth worked at the moment, cause despite what Obie seemed to think, that was precisely how patents worked, and the arc reactor didn’t have Obie’s name anywhere on it, it said Stark. He’d quietly sent in the patent paperwork for his arc reactor months ago under his name, not under Stark Industries. But it seemed like history was designed to repeat itself when it came to him. Yet again, his designs and his brilliance was going to be taken from him forcibly. He wasn’t going to get any of the credit. He was really getting tired of people taking and touching his stuff. And this time, it was a heavy blow. It was from someone who he’s always thought loved and cared about him, someone who he had known for his whole life.

The betrayal of Obie hurt more than anything else had. Even his suspicions hadn’t fully prepared him to be right, the minimal hope he’d been harboring that he’d be wrong burning him in the end. For Obie to go this far, to actually order a hit on Tony and now to be physically willing to rip the reactor keeping him alive out of his chest. Tony had never thought him capable of killing. Obviously, he had underestimated the man who he had thought was his friend. Tony’d considered Obie to be family. He really needed to be more careful in who he trusted and let in. If Obie could hide in this close proximity to him for 38 years, he could only imagine what was possible for others in his life.

Obie smiled; the cocky look plastered on his face made Tony sick to his stomach. He wasn’t going to like this, and he hated that he couldn’t talk back to keep Obie going and wasting time. “Your father, he helped give us the atomic bomb. Now, what kind of world would it be today if he was as selfish as you?” Obie asked as if somehow this whole thing was Tony’s fault. When he was younger, Tony might have believed that, hell a year ago, he might have thought that. But now? Now Tony knew this wasn’t selfish. It was him being responsible for once. He didn’t want to hurt more people, and that wasn’t a bad thing. He was trying not to add to the world’s chaos. That wasn’t something he was going to feel sorry about. Obie yanked the reactor separating it from the baseplate. Tony couldn’t help the involuntary gasp as he felt the shock course through his chest. His eyes went wide at the pain and tightening in his chest as his heart fluttered, sending his heart into V-tach the arrhythmia causing his chest to squeeze painfully as a sharp pain flowed down his arm and across his chest. He gasped as the unsteady rhythm started to beat almost immediately. 

Obie turned the reactor over in front of the two of them. Tony focused on taking full steady breaths, concentrating on just keeping his heart beating. Another panic attack was the last thing he needed right now. He could hear the blood pounding through his ears as the first wave of nausea hit him. “Oh, it's beautiful.” Obie all but moaned as he looked at the reactor. “Oh Tony, this is your Ninth Symphony. What a masterpiece. Look at that.” Obie said as he flopped down next to him, holding the miniaturized reactor that had been keeping Tony’s heart in a regular rhythm. Holding the little piece of tech that had been keeping him alive.

“This is your legacy,” Obie said, his next words confirming Tony’s biggest fears when it came to Obie’s ambitions. “A new generation of weapons with this at its heart. Weapons that will help steer the world back on course put the balance of power in our hands. The right hands. Sadly your father didn’t agree with those right hands either.” Confusion flashed across Tony’s mind, followed by clarity and horror. He’d been right; Obie had been double-dealing under the table and funding terrorists the entire time he was CEO. He’d been correct in his assumption earlier that he had been doing this since Howard had been in charge. Obie had his designs for the suit; Raza must have sent him Tony’s original blueprint, especially for Obie to already have a working suit this fast. Obie opened a case putting the reactor into the foam padded case. “I wish you could've seen my prototype. It's not as… Well, not as conservative as yours.” Tony was horrified at the idea, Obie was going to weaponize the suit. An army of Iron soldiers. 

The chaos and destruction that his suit was capable of was impressive. An army of suits that were, knowing Obie, massive in comparison? That would change the way wars would be fought. Of course, Obie’s suit wasn’t as conservative, Tony thought with dismay. Obie had never been one for practicality. Obie’d always been the one that wanted the whole song and dance. He wanted the fanfare and fireworks he never had seen the application of making things compact. It was why Obie had never even thought of miniaturizing the reactor. But now that Tony had done it, he wanted to cash in. Tony had designed it because he was an engineer who valued practicality. He wanted a suit that could sneak in under the radar. He wanted something small and maneuverable so he could go for rescue missions. He specifically chose to not go with the bulkier silhouette. 

He’d seen what bulky did. He’d done it with the Choppers he’d designed, big meant a bigger target and harder to fly in tight spaces, and the loss of control meant the pilots were at risk. He’d heard Rhodey complain about not having small enough equipment before when they needed to get in and out of places, and he’d taken that to heart in his design. He suddenly realized that if he didn’t survive this, he would never get to roll out that pararescue idea he’d started playing around with. He knew that would have been one of Rhodey’s favorite projects he’d have ever come up with too. Especially since Rhodey would be training them in an offshoot of the Mark 2, he was the only military person who could work Tony’s suit and understand his tech. 

“Too bad you had to involve Pepper in this. I would have preferred that she lived.” Obie said as the case clicked closed. He stood up and left, leaving Tony paralyzed on the couch, trying to focus on keeping his breath calm as he counted down the minutes from when the Sonic Taser had frozen him.

Only 2 minutes and 30 seconds had passed so far. Tony kept counting as he heard the front door click. Only 12 and half more minutes before he would be able to move fully again. Five and a half until he got some function back. He still tried to move every thirty seconds, his heart was fluttering erratically, he felt nauseous, the blood rushing through his ears as he tried to breath through the symptoms. It wasn’t working very well though, his breath coming in short puffs no matter how deep of a breath he tried to take. It felt like something heavy was sitting on his chest. He had to say he really hated this feeling. Though on thinking about it, he found himself torn. He wasn’t sure which sensation he hated more, the erratic rhythm his heart was currently in, or the violent shock that he had gotten used to in Afganistan when his heart would stop while he’d been waterlogged. Or if he was relieved to not feel the shock from the magnet jolting his heart back into a regular sinus rhythm like he would when he was being drowned in the cave.

For a moment, Tony let his mind wander to how nice it would be to just give in. He’d finally be able to rest, he’d get to see Jarvis and Ana again, he'd get to see Bucky and Steve. Sure he didn’t believe in heaven or hell, but the idea of being with Bucky and Steve in some capacity was a slight comfort. But then he remembered that if he gave up, Pepper would die, Obie was going to kill her for knowing too much, and that probably would get Rhodey involved as well since Obie knew the three of them were close. Tony couldn’t let them get hurt, not after everything they’d done for him. Finally, at 8 minutes and 45 seconds, Tony regained enough body control to roll forward off the couch and start a slow crawl towards the elevator. He had to take breaks every few seconds as he pulled himself forward across the brown poured concrete floor in an attempt to not strain his heart even more than it already was. He couldn’t have it stop on him, now would be the worst possible timing.

Tony pulled himself up the wall hitting the button for the elevator, falling into the elevator as white-hot pain flashed across his chest and up his neck and down his arm, his back muscles crying out at the tension and the pain.

Tony pulled himself into the lift and dragged himself upright, hitting the button for the workshop. He leaned heavily against the side of the elevator as the doors closed and it started to move downward. Tony was struggling to take in a sufficient amount of air as the doors opened to his workshop. He fell sideways as he exited the elevator, grabbing the doorway and the walls, letting his momentum carry him forward. He saw what he was looking for across the room as he clung to the door jam, the old arc reactor that Pepper had put in a glass case for him instead of throwing it away. The one he’d used to get out of that cave, Tony looked at the wide-open space between him and the top of the workbench that currently held his soldering kit. Holding on to the wall, Tony knew he wasn’t going to make it the whole way standing up. His muscles weren’t working well enough for that, and any progress he gained as the paralysis wore off, he lost as his heart function declined.

Tony pitched himself forward, stumbling as he moved before crashing to the ground as he barely made it a fourth of the way to the arc reactor. He’d really hoped his legs would have worked for longer than that. Tony crawled across the floor, his breathing getting harder and harder as his heartbeat got more and more irregular. He knew V-tach had the potential to stop his heart; it was why he needed to get to the reactor as fast as possible. As he crawled, he found his mechanic’s creeper to yet again be in his way. He really needed a better place for it than where it was just cruising around on the floor from side to side, landing wherever he’d kicked it to last, but now really wasn’t the time to figure that out. 

When he finally pulled himself to the side of the tool cabinet, he grabbed a tub full of scraps hoping to use it to leverage himself up. However, not being able to take a full breath for the past ten minutes was taking its toll, and the increase in his activity wasn’t helping the V-Tach rhythm. It was making it worse. The pain was sharp, and he was feeling more and more lightheaded as his muscles started to not want to respond to him. It was an odd sensation, knowing they were there, but no matter how hard he tried, they wouldn’t obey. He pushed himself up toward the top of the tool cabinet. He felt the glass case with his fingers, but his muscles were shaky, and a tremor shoved the glass case backward. He tried to push himself up more so he could get a better grip, but the tub of scraps slid out away from under him as the unbalanced weight of his upper body pressing down on only one side caused him to tip and fall back to the floor, his hand missing the case holding the reactor again. 

He collapsed to the side, his heart stuttering in his chest. He was so tired he suddenly realized, and yet again, he had failed, just like he always seemed to. He consistently would fail right when it appeared to matter the most. He’d try again, he had to, but first, he just wanted to take a moment to recover, he was so tired, and his body hurt. His lungs screamed for air, and his muscles ached for oxygen. As he struggled to get his arms to listen to him so he could make another attempt to push himself up and try for the reactor again. He heard a low whine as a hydraulics system kicked in above him. The electronic whine got closer. He recognized it as DUM-E, whose clawed arm was holding the case Tony had been struggling to reach. Tony had never been prouder or more thankful for his robotic sons. Looking back on that moment later, if he was honest, DUM-E had probably saved both his and Pepper’s life by that action.

Tony felt relief wash over him as he gripped the base of the case. He looked up at his robot son, who was always so excited to help, even though he usually got in the way in his excitement to be helpful. Tony managed to whisper out a quiet “Good boy.” Before hefting his body sideways, slamming the glass case into the concrete floor next to him. He grabbed the reactor threading its tail wire down into his chest. Using the handle of a screwdriver from the bottom of the tool cabinet, he pressed the coil and cord in, connecting the reactor back to the base plate. The zap in his chest stinging as it coursed through his body, he collapsed back down against the cool concrete floor, relief flooding him as his body returned to its standard rate of functioning. His heart rate returning to a normal rhythm, his lungs finally able to take in a complete breath of air again. He laid against the ground, knowing he needed a few minutes to recover, fighting against the paralysis. The lack of oxygen and abnormal rhythm from the missing arc reactor had taken a lot out of his body. Even with him adding in working out to his daily routine, he would need a bit of time to be functional and for the effects of the two compounding issues to fully wear off. 

As he lay against the ground, the cool concrete helping with the headache he’d gotten from lack of oxygen, he heard a voice calling his name. Ok, maybe it had actually woken him up. Yea, the drool on the floor definitely meant he’d passed out. Tony licked his lips, hoping to mask the fact that he absolutely had just been unconscious and had a puddle of drool on the workshop floor. “Tony!” The voice yelled again. Tony recognized the voice; it was Rhodey. Tony still hadn’t moved though his body still working on cooperating with him. Tony’s movements were sluggish as the man grabbed his shoulders, spinning him around to face him. “You okay?” Rhodey asked before taking in the sallow color of Tony’s face and how sweaty his friend was. Tony had definitely not been ok a few minutes ago.

“Where's Pepper?” Tony asked, gripping Rhodey’s leather jacket. Fighting down the overwhelming wave of nausea and fighting back against how weak he felt as he moved.

“She's fine. She's with five agents.” Rhodey said, trying to calm Tony down and assure him everything was ok and would be handled. “They're about to arrest Obadiah,” Rhodey said, the tone of his voice, letting Tony know that Rhodey and probably Pepper too knew that Stane had been the one to order the hit on Tony in Afghanistan.

Tony’s eyes widened. “That's not going to be enough.” He said, gripping Rhodey’s hand and pushing up against the floor so he could get to his feet. Tony wobbled over to the desk, firing up the computer and entering commands as he relaunched J.A.R.V.I.S. Ignoring Rhodey’s worried gaze. He tried to not look as unsteady as he felt while moving around the room as quickly as he could reasonably manage. “J.A.R.V.I.S. get the Mark 4 ready,” Tony called once he saw the launch bar hit 100% and close.

“Sir, perhaps you should take a moment.” the voice of the concerned AI cut in. His AI was clearly worried about Tony’s physical state, which considering just 10 minutes ago he was dying, was an understandable concern. Both J.A.R.V.I.S. and the other bots in the lab, Butterfingers, and U, wheeling into view. At the same time, DUM-E was persistent in his mission, following along behind him whirling anxiously. Tony really didn’t blame him, J.A.R.V.I.S. Really didn’t like being shut down, so of course, he’d watched the footage of what had happened during the time he was offline.

Tony bit back his urge to snap, “J, I don’t have a moment, Obie’s gonna go after Pepper. Get it ready.” Tony said, hating that he was arguing with his AI over this. He knew J.A.R.V.I.S. was right, he should take a moment, but Tony also knew he didn’t have those minutes to spare.

“Certainly, Sir.” The AI said after a moment.

“Tony, what are you talking about?” Rhodey asked. His voice was steady, but Tony knew Rhodey well enough. The man was watching him like a hawk and circling the lab. He only did that when he thought he was going to need to step in.

“That project you said you wanted to know nothing about,” Tony said as he typed in commands to the computer.

“The one you hit one of my planes with?” Rhodey asked in jest.

“Again, he hit me,” Tony said. “I have the bruises to show for it too,” he said, almost moving to pull up the shirt before realizing that the nanites would have been covering the injuries. Tony stopped, and Rhodey just smirked at him knowing his friend’s thought process well enough by now.

“You put nanites in the suit yet?” Rhodey asked, “Just in case you have to take it off before you can change and put on your watch?”

“Not yet, but that was actually one of the changes I was going to add on. Between my test flight and your damned Raptor crashing into me, I ended up with some nasty electrical burns and bruises, so I figured nanites in the next rendition of the Arc reactor’s chest piece would help cover up most of the damage done to me. That way, I won’t look like a human punching bag all the time.”

“Good thinking,” Rhodey said, still keeping a wary eye on his friend, watching as Tony scurried around the room. Rhodey only turned his back for a few moments while Tony was changing into different clothes. Rhodey barely even flinched as Tony threw his clothes off, grabbing what looked like long underwear, but he could tell they were a lot warmer from the omni-tech pattern on the cuffs.

“Yea, but I’m thinking they’ll work better in the reactor casing, then they can be self-charging, and they’ll hide everything I need them too,” Tony said as he adjusted the socks over the leggings and stepped onto a plate in the middle of the workshop floor. “Alright, J, Let’s rock n roll,” Tony called out as the workshop floor shifted and opened up. Tony stepped into the boots as the robotic arms around him spun and whirled, locking the suit into place around him.

Any retort Rhodey had was stalled as he watched awestruck while the suit unfolded from the floor and formed around his friend. “That's the coolest thing I've ever seen.” He finally managed as the last of the metal plates whirled and adjusted into place.

“Not bad, huh?” Tony said, watching smugly as Rhodey circled him. The engineering mind in Rhodey had been going a million miles a minute as soon as he watched the suit start to assemble. “Let’s do it,” Tony called out to J.A.R.V.I.S. Firing a repulsor into the totaled Shelby he’d fallen on just a few weeks ago, moving it out of the way so he could utilize the hole he’d put through his house as an exit.

“You need me to do anything else?” Rhodey asked as Tony stepped over, lining up so he could have a straight shot out of the house.

Tony looked at him. Actually, there was something “Keep the skies clear.” He said, firing up his repulsors and flying upward and out into the night sky towards Los Angeles. The last thing he needed was to fight Obie and an F-22 at the same time.

\---------------------------

Tony had only made it just over halfway to Los Angeles. He’d spent the first half relaying his list of things to circle back to when he had more time. After he’d finished, he realized that he should probably check with J.A.R.V.I.S. about the Mark 4 suit’s compatibility and the Mark 1 chest piece. He had a horrible feeling that his night was going to feel a lot like attempting to drive a racing car that had been filled with diesel. The Mark 4 had a much higher energy output than his fire design from the cave, and this was a much longer fight that he was gearing up for. In Afghanistan, they hadn’t been ready for him and didn’t have countermeasures. In this fight, he knew he was flying in to face another suit and a bigger one at that. His main advantage here would be that he knew the technology better than Stane did. He knew the suit's weaknesses where Stane hadn’t had time to test his and figure those out. “How do you think the Mark One chest piece is going to hold up?” He asked J.A.R.V.I.S.

“The suit's at 48% power and falling, sir. That chest piece was never designed for sustained flight.” His AI answered, yep, he was in for a bumpy ride.

“Keep me posted J, now call Pepper; I need to make sure she’s ok,” Tony said, worried that he was going to be too late.

“Of course, sir,” J.A.R.V.I.S. responded. 

The phone rang twice before she answered, “Pepper!” He yelled before she could say anything; he had to make sure she was unharmed.

“Tony! Tony, are you okay?” Pepper yelled back. He could hear her breathing hard as she waited for his response. His mind frantically searching for clues in her voice about what was going on.

Had she been running?

Was she in danger?

Was he too late?

“I'm fine. How are-” he attempted to asked, trying to soothe the frantic woman, not that he blamed her. He was in the same boat.

“Obadiah, he's gone insane!” She yelled, cutting him off. Why was it that whenever she got worked up, she stopped listening to him? He nearly chuckled at the thought, because of course, he would have inappropriate ideas and a sense of humor at the worst possible time. It really was his coping mechanism for when things got stressful.

Tony tried in vain to get Pepper to focus and listen. “I know. Listen, you'd better get out of there.”

“He built a suit.” Pepper continued to talk through him. Tony knew the terror that came with the realization that someone you’d trusted was trying to kill you. From the sound of it, she had already met Obie’s suit, and it was also after her. He’d had the last 30 minutes to deal with the information though, and his brain worked faster than hers when it came to sorting and categorizing information. It only made sense that she was still processing, hell, he was still processing it too, in a way, but he had been forced to move on to the problem solving phase. The problem, though, just happened to be Obie, his suit, and the fact that he was set on killing Pepper, Tony, and probably Rhodey now as well. Obie was also trying to take over Stark Industries and create the most terrifying line of weapons yet, all without any sort of quality control or a higher power to be responsible for. The system needed checks and balances, things Obie didn’t seem to believe in.

“Get out of there right now!” Tony yelled, trying to break through to Pepper, he was only a few blocks away, but he needed her clear of what was about to become ground zero.

Of course, as soon as he said that, he heard a rumble through the connection followed by an automated voice that Tony would always be able to place. “Where do you think you're going?” Obie’s robotic voice asked. Causing Pepper to scream, Tony reeled from the sharp sound that now reverberated through his helmet. “Your services are no longer required.” He heard Stane rumble, but now it was both through the phone and his own ears as he closed in on Peppers location.

He watched Obadiah level his weaponized arm at Pepper. Tony increased his speed to Mach 1 “Stane!” He yelled as he slammed into the larger suit of armor. Knocking both him and Obadiah back into the hole in the building that Stane had just crawled through. Tony targeted Stane’s chest, knowing it would be his best shot at knocking the suit back. They slammed backward through the building’s wall, down and back through the retaining wall, and onto the freeway beyond. Tony’s mind flew as he calculated the approximate weight of Stane’s suit based on how far they’d gone, his velocity, gravity, and how many walls they had just busted through.

They tumbled back the squeal and screech of cars filling the air around them. J.A.R.V.I.S. kept Pepper on the line, minimizing the call, so Tony had a better view of what was going on with Obadiah and his suit. He also muted Pepper’s side, knowing that her freak out wasn’t going to be helpful. Cars honked and squealed around them. Tony pulled himself up off the ground. He was going to feel those bruises tomorrow. Matricaria. Tony looked over at Obadiah, who had grabbed the nearest car to him, hefting it over his head. Tony’s eyes widened in panic as he saw the family in the car. “I love this suit!” Obadiah yelled as he faced Tony.

“Put them down!” Tony yelled, hoping to break through to Obadiah. He needed to get him away from the city and people. 

“Collateral damage, Tony.” The man he thought of as an uncle called back, hefting the car even higher, walking toward him.

He knew what Obadiah was about to do. He was going to get a car thrown at him. “Divert power to chest RT,” Tony said, realizing for this to end with any relative safety for the family, he was going to have to blow Obadiah out of the way and then catch the car. He wasn’t going to let people get hurt if he could help it, something he knew Stane would use against him. Collateral damage as he called it, Tony just called it needlessly destructive, thus why he needed to keep this as contained as possible. The blast from his chest repulsor knocked Obadiah out of the way just as he’d intended. Tony jumped forward, catching the Audi. The suit groaned at the sudden added weight straining the armor’s hydraulic systems; he felt the car slam against his chest and the arc reactor. He was going to have a few bruised ribs from that. Oleander and Purple Columbine.

“Power reduced to 19%,” J.A.R.V.I.S. told him, as Tony slowly lowered the car down. He didn’t want to drop the car too fast, the impact would blow the tires, and he really wanted them to be able to drive away. As he got closer to the ground though he heard the rev on an engine, the wheels started to spin as the driver hit the gas.

Tony’s eyes widened. This wasn’t going to end well. “Lady! No, no, no, no, no, no!” Tony yelled as he slid down the front of the car as she ran him over. Allspice. Tony was dragged under the vehicle as the suit got stuck under the bumper. He lifted the Audi up, allowing the car to finally dislodge off him and drive away. In the time he’d been under the car being dragged along, Obadiah had been able to recover. Obadiah was now running towards Tony in giant leaps like he was teeing off a field goal. Tony pushed himself to his feet, his body still recuperating from earlier, and the new hits and bruises were not playing to his advantage. He barely had the chance to look up when he heard the roar from Obie. The next thing he saw was a motorcycle flying through the air into him. He slammed through the median, over the abandoned cars behind, before skidding to a halt across the pavement, Sweet Briar and Redbud Tree. Obie closed the distance between them quickly, kicking him, keeping him down.

Tony rolled over, trying to get back up. He had to try, Steve never gave up. The Captain was known for never staying down in a fight. He couldn’t let a few bruises and broken ribs stop him, not now. This was too important to give up just cause he was getting a bit roughed up. Obadiah had other plans though, the larger suit grabbing him and lifting him over his head. “For 30 years, I've been holding you up!” Obie yelled before he slammed him down into the concrete. Tony felt the sting rip through his shoulder he felt the plates bend apart, J.A.R.V.I.S. alerting him of structural damage to his right shoulder, the same shoulder he had most definitely done some permanent damage to. Mustard. A foot slammed down on top of him, stomping into his chest, cracking the already bruised ribs. Bilberry. Tony rolled over, gasping for the oxygen that had just been forced from his lungs. He needed better protection for his chest since his rib cage was already vulnerable from his previous injuries as a child and from Afghanistan.

He moved yet again to get up. “I built this company from nothing!” Obie grabbed him by the back, lifting him up again. Obie hadn’t been kidding that suit definitely wasn’t as conservative, but that also meant it was heavier and more durable. Well, at least that would have been what Obie thought. Tony knew that each decision had a consequence. Hopefully, he could wait this out, and at the right time, act using Obie’s ego and the weaknesses he’d built into the suit against him. Obie hadn’t had time to test the armor out yet, and that Tony could use to his advantage. 

“Nothing is going to stand in my way,” Obie screamed, continuing to rage. Tony felt himself flying through the air, then he hit something that was clearly more substantial. Quickly thinking about what was around them, he remembered a bus. Luckily he remembered seeing people fleeing off it as Obie stepped on him. That must have been what he’d been thrown into. He felt the bus behind him buckle the suit tearing through the metal frame as the glass shattered around him. Rose Rock and Aspen. “Least of all you!” Fire exploded around him as he was thrown into the air by what he could only imagine were rockets from Stane’s suit. He really needed to stop thinking of him as Obie. This wasn’t his Uncle anymore. This was Stane, the man who betrayed him.

Tony was lucky that his suit was smaller in this case. He had better maneuverability and flexibility, allowing him to catch himself in the air as he fell. Firing up the stabilizers, his equilibrium map in the HUD helped him reacquaint himself with which way was up. Tony folded gracefully out of the explosion, coming to hover just above and out of direct reach from Stane. He took a few deep breaths trying to get himself back in the game as well as buy himself enough time to draw Stane out. “Impressive! You've upgraded your armor! I've made some upgrades of my own!” Tony watched as he heard the rumble from the boots of Stane’s suit

“Sir, it appears that his suit can fly.” J.A.R.V.I.S. oh so helpfully said, pointing out the obvious.

“Duly noted,” Tony said with a sly smile, now this Tony could work with. Stane’s suit was heavier and made out of steel. He’d made the same mistake Tony had initially as well. Tony just needed to get high enough for Stane to ice over like he had done the first time he’d tried to break the altitude record. “Take me to maximum altitude,” Tony told J.A.R.V.I.S. as the plan formed in his head.

“With only 15% power, the odds of reaching that…”

“I know the math! Do it!” he called, interrupting the AI, turning and exploding into the air, Stane’s suit hot on his heels. He knew Stane would ice over before he got to max height and just before he ran out of power.

“Thirteen percent power, sir,” J.A.R.V.I.S called out, alerting him of the status of the arc reactor.

“Climb!” Tony yelled. He knew the gap between them was closing as he kept going upward, the Mark 1 chest piece making it harder for the suit to fly as the air thinned out.

“Eleven percent,” J.A.R.V.I.S. warned.

“Keep going!” Tony growled out

“Seven percent power.” Came another warning.

“Just leave it on the screen! Stop telling me!” Tony yelled, hoping he would be able to get high enough for his plan to work. He really didn’t have a ton of room for error in his math. He was almost there, just a little further, based on Tony’s calculations and how big Stane’s suit was. But that was give or take 500ft, and Stane was right behind him, closing the distance between them fast.

Tony felt a hand wrap around his foot, squeezing as Stane grabbed him, yanking him down, a heavy steel gauntlet wrapping around his shoulders, the fingers wrapped around his neck. Tony suddenly realized that this was a really high point to fall from if Stane broke the suit. With his suit’s grip strength, that was a possibility. The screen flashed, letting him know that the repulsor on his foot had broken from the force. The pressure in the boot told him that he was definitely going to have some damage to his own foot as well. But he couldn’t think about that right now. Tony pulled at the fingers of Stane’s suit, trying to loosen their hold from his neck. Dragon Plant, Tansy, and Thistle. “You had a great idea, Tony, but my suit is more advanced in every way!” Tony looked at his suit, seeing the crust of ice over it as they continued to climb, and he couldn’t stop the wicked smile from curling across his lips.

“Yea? How'd you solve the icing problem?” Tony asked, seeing the flicker and hearing the creak as Stane’s suit locked up and powered down from the cold.

“Icing problem?” He asked. Tony heard the question knowing that tone, Stane had no idea what he was talking about, but the panic told him that Stane was about to find out.

“Might want to look into it.” Tony hissed, smashing his gauntlet into Stane’s helmet, feeling the suit’s grip loosen as the eyes went dark. Tony watched as Stane fell back down to earth. He hoped it would be enough.

“Two percent.” J.A.R.V.I.S.’s voice cutting through, warning Tony that he was running on borrowed time. If Tony didn’t know any better, he’d think that J.A.R.V.I.S. was concerned and that his voice was showing a hit of the panic Tony now felt. If Tony wasn’t so high off the ground. He would have been ecstatic at J.A.R.V.I.S.’s ability to express an emotion that befitted the situation. However, given current circumstances, that excitement was quickly mitigated, the stress of the problem at hand overwhelming him as the repulsors stuttered. Tony couldn’t stop the involuntary yelp as he dropped. The repulsor only fired for a few seconds at a time, stopping him for a few moments before turning off again, causing him to fall, and heart-pounding rushes of adrenaline coursed through his body. The pattern continued all the way down to the ground as the repulsors that were still working turned off and on again, slowing his fall but not overexerting the little bit of remaining power he had. “We are now running on emergency backup power,” J.A.R.V.I.S. Told him as he tried his best to control his fall back onto the roof of the reactor building. It didn’t work very well with only three repulsors, causing him to skid and crash onto the rooftop just above the arc reactor.

“Potts!” Tony called, making sure she was still ok and alive as he managed to stand up, starting to remove the suit. He needed out of it, and fast, the more elaborate armor model was draining the Mark 1 chest piece. He really didn’t need a repeat of what Obie had done to him earlier, especially when he didn’t have another backup option.

“Tony! Oh, my God, are you okay?” she asked, sounding frantic and worried but ultimately glad he was talking to her again.

“I'm almost out of power. I've got to get out of this thing. I'll be right there.” Tony said, opening the faceplate.

A thud shook the roof next to him. He spun around, seeing Stane’s suit had crawled up the side of the building and was now on the top of the building as well, and from the look of it fully functional.

Damnit.

“Nice try!” the man growled out. Tony’s eyes widened for a brief moment before he flipped the faceplate closed again, ducking the first punch and throwing out his hand for a repulsor blast. Forgetting it was the hand he had removed the gauntlet from in his haste to get out of the Mark 4. While he’d managed to duck the first swing, the second sent him sprawling across the roof. He took a running leap, punching Stane back. The suit barely budged, Tony’s glove glancing off the head of Stane’s suit. Stane grabbed him around the middle with both hands and started to squeeze. 

Tony heard the creak as the metal around him started to give. “Weapons status?” Tony ground out, asking J.A.R.V.I.S. for a report. Hollyhocks, Magnolia and Euphorbia, bloomed across Steve’s ribs. Tony felt his own protest, ripples of agony coursing through his already battered ribcage, the ribs shifting and bruising even more than they already were under the suit.

“Repulsors offline. Missiles offline.” Tony watched the HUD scroll through the weapons and what he had available. He knew he needed to get out of this. Almost nothing was active, but the suit was still draining the reactor. Tony’s eyes lit up when he saw that the flares were still active, those would work, and if he was lucky, they would give him some cover to hide as well.

“Flares!” Tony yelled out as he felt a few of his lower ribs crack from the pressure. He never thought he’d actually be grateful for the ridiculously high pain tolerance Howard had given him, but right now, he was. It was the only thing keeping him on his feet and still moving forward, even though his whole body hurt and protested the movements.

The flares whirled from his shoulder, lighting up between them, giving Tony enough cover to break Stane’s hold. The bright flashes blinding him and sending the disoriented man reeling back. Stane dropped him, allowing Tony time to use the smoke as cover while he ran and hid. Tony knew he needed a new plan... and that plan was sitting right below them. He just needed someone to hit the button and open the relays. “Very clever, Tony,” Stane yelled as he spun around, looking for where Tony had hidden.

“Potts?” Tony whispered into the helmet, hoping the connection hadn’t been lost. He could only imagine how stressed out she was, only able to hear bits and pieces of the fight, otherwise being kept in the dark.

“Tony!” She called back. She sounded so relieved to hear him.

“This isn't working. We're going to have to overload the reactor and blast the roof,” Tony told her. Trying to prepare her for what he needed her to do.

“Well, how are you going to do that?” She asked, knowing he was on the roof.

Tony almost laughed. She was not going to like this part at all. He might just owe her a car to go with that villa by the end of the night. “You're going to do it. Go to the central console, open up all the circuits. When I get clear of the roof, I'll let you know. You're going to hit the master bypass button. It's going to fry everything up here.”

Pepper was quiet for a moment before she responded. “Okay. I'm going in now.” She told him as he watched Stane move around the roof, getting closer and closer to him. Luckily in all the time he’d spent in close proximity, J.A.R.V.I.S. was able to scan the suit. Tony now knew that Stane’s back was the weak spot, the suit’s bulkiness showing that the main computer that powered the armor and ran its functions was stored in the back. A back that had been left open to help with the armor’s ability to manipulate the suit’s heavy arms.

“Make sure you wait till I clear the roof. I'll buy you some time.” He whispered to Pepper before darting around his hiding spot as Obie got close to him. Tony jumped, launching himself onto the suit’s back, gripping the outside of it with his flesh hand, using the other gauntlet to reach down into the oversized suit, and grabbed a handful of wires.

“This looks important!” Tony called, ripping out what his hand had a hold of, the crack in his HUD making it hard to see what he was grabbing so he’d let the suit and J.A.R.V.I.S. find the weak point and guide his hand to grasp what he needed. As soon as he got the piece out, he threw it to the side. Immediately having to grab on to Stane’s back with both hands as the man jerked and reeled, trying to dislodge Tony from his back. Tony clung to the suit, hoping for another go at ripping out meaningful computer connections, riding the back of the other suit much like one would a rodeo bull. Tony couldn’t get anything else out before the other suit’s iron hands managed to grab him and hurl him forward and off. 

Tony skidded, tumbled, and rolled across the glass ceiling above the reactor. He looked up, glad to see that he’d actually done a decent amount of damage, having succeeded in dislodging the suit’s optics. Tony’s helmet came off as he was tossed. Unfortunately, it was left in the hand of Obadiah’s massive suit.

Tony watched as the suit opened, showing Obie inside with the joystick controls. Seriously a joystick? Dear God, was the man still stuck playing with an Atari? “I never had a taste for this sort of thing, but I must admit, I'm deeply enjoying the suit!” He said, crushing Tony’s now hollow helmet easily in the enormous gauntlet, cutting off the call with Pepper. Now Tony would just have to yell or possibly bang on the glass to get her attention since he was now directly over the arc reactor she was working on overloading. Tony looked up, seeing his crushed helmet land next to him on the glass ceiling.

He was realizing now that he wasn’t going to get off the roof. He was too outmatched. He knew that as he looked down at the reactor, Stane’s suit was too big, had more firepower, and the Mark 4 had taken far too much damage at this point. He was going to need Pepper to blow the roof with him on it; he wasn’t looking forward to that. “You finally outdid yourself, Tony! You'd have made your father proud!” Tony struggled, taking a breath before starting to push himself up to stand, he refused to go out like this. He was going to go down fighting. Tony almost scoffed; he didn’t want to make Howard proud, he didn’t care about that, or so he thought, but the flare of joy in his chest betrayed him. Hearing the man he had always looked up to as an Uncle say that Howard would have been proud of him made the touch and praise starved child inside him preen. He’d never heard those words before, not concerning Howard at least. It hurt that it took this for Obie to say that, out of everything he had done, everything he had accomplished, it took a suit of armor with destructive capabilities beyond Tony’s wildest imagination for Obie to say that Howard would have been proud.

Tony stood to face Stane when the man raised his weapon and fired. Tony had to raise his forearm, expanding the arm flaps into a makeshift shield in front of his face to keep from getting hit. Stane changed his target though, when he saw he couldn’t shoot Tony through the suit or the shield. Instead, he fired at his feet, knocking the glass out from under Tony. Tony fell through the now gaping hole beneath him, grabbing onto the struts to stay on the roof. He heard Pepper yell beneath him as glass rained down on her. When Obie stopped firing, he heard her call up to him. She must have been right beneath him.

“How ironic, Tony!” Stane yelled, “Trying to rid the world of weapons, you gave it its best one ever!” Tony watched as Obie came closer to the edge of the roof where the glass roof had started before it’d been shot out. He was close enough now that if Pepper blew the roof, Stane would be caught in the blast too.

“Pepper!” he called frantically, hoping she would hear him and, for once, follow his instructions.

“And now, I'm going to kill you with it!” a rocket system unfolded from the other arm. Stane took aim and fired, missing wide to the right. Tony could still feel the heat licking across the back of his neck from the explosion. He quickly turned his face away so he wouldn’t get hit in the face with any of the little pieces of debris from the wall that had exploded behind him. “You ripped out my targeting system!” Obie complained, glaring at him. Well, at least that bought him some time while he adjusted for having to manually aim, or in this case, he was playing guess and check since despite helping make weapons, Obie had never really taken any sort of firearms training. Tony had a leg up in that department at least, Peggy had always made sure he could at least figure out his way around his own weapons.

“Time to hit the button!” Tony yelled down to Pepper. He needed this to be over. If Stane got his ‘guess and check’ firing right and managed to hit Tony, Pepper would be his next target.

“You told me not to!” Tony wanted to laugh and roll his eyes. Seriously? Now? Of all times Pepper wanted to argue right now? Only Pepper would decide to start an argument with him while he was being shot at by a maniac intent on killing him.

“Hold still, you little prick!” Obie said, retaking aim. This time, he missed high and a little to the right. Tony was running out of time. Really? Hold still? He wasn’t able to move! He was stuck dangling above his own company’s arc reactor in an all but dead weight suit that was out of power. He wasn’t going anywhere even if he wanted to.

“Just do it!” He yelled back, hoping she’d listen; Obie’s ‘guess and check’ system was getting a little too close for comfort.

“You'll die!” she cried out. Tony grit his teeth as if that wasn’t already about to happen. Obie fired again, this time only off by only about ten feet, the shockwave rattling his grip… now there was an exciting thought. Tony dropped down, holding onto the scaffolding with both hands as the calculations ran through his head. The initial shockwave that the overloaded reactor would throw off was the least likely to kill him, and it might be enough to throw him back and away from the glass part. And if he swung the angle of his body just right, it might be enough that he was clear of the second more deadly shockwave.

He dropped his hand, hanging by the single hand still in the gauntlet, letting his body swing just a bit with the action. “Push it!” he yelled. Thankful when he heard the audible click below him as Pepper slapped her hand into the Emergency Master Bypass Relay. He listened to the whine; kipping his legs forward, he swung himself backward just in time as he felt the wave of initial energy slam into him, knocking the wind out of him. Using the gauntlet, he held on as long as physically possible, hoping for the right angle so he would be blown out of the way. The gauntlet only lasted for a few moments, but those milliseconds redirected his body in the right direction as he was thrown upward and to the side of the roof. Plowing him chest first into a metal box, cracking his nose. Laurel. 

Tony watched as Obadiah’s suit was electrified in the blast before it fell downwards into the reactor. He rolled away quickly towards the box as fire from the explosion licked up the back of his neck, burning it, singeing the hair along his neckline. Lemon Balm. The force of the blast combined with the heat smashing his head into the box again, knocking him out.

Tony slowly woke up in a medical room with Rhodey and Pepper. Rhodey was hard at work cleaning Tony up. Tools were strewn all over a workbench, from where he’d probably had to pry the damaged suit off Tony’s body and then bandaging him, knuckles, face, and the other various cuts he’d sustained. A pile of red and gold metal sat in a crate, Tony realizing it was the dismantled Mark 4. While Pepper was at the door arguing with someone and telling them to bugger off and that they could come in when Rhodey had finished bandaging Tony up and when he was conscious and able to answer questions.

Tony smiled for a moment before flinching as the action hurt his broken nose. He definitely owed Pepper a raise and that car, especially when he realized she was arguing with S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents, keeping them out of their own hospital room. He chuckled, making eye contact with Rhodey, who gave him a knowing smile. Only Pepper would be scary enough and love to argue so much that she would put S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents off their game, he knew he’d kept her around for a reason. Rhodey was satisfied that he was adequately bandaged, he let Tony sit up. Tony opened his mouth, but Rhodey held up a hand, cutting him off, assuring Tony that he’d been in the room with one of them the entire time and that no one had gotten a look under his clothes. Tony let his shoulders relax, some of the tension melting away; Rhodey knew him so well.

Pepper reassuring him as well, letting him know that as soon as the S.H.I.E.L.D. Doctors had said Tony would live both Pepper and Rhodey had kicked them out, telling them that if they wanted to gain Tony’s trust and debrief him, it would work a whole lot better if he woke up with just them in the room. Tony loved them for that; they both knew how protective and secretive Tony was about his scars and his Mark.

Only Rhodey had ever seen it, and even then, he hadn’t gotten a good look at it. Both of them respected Tony’s privacy, knowing he would tell them when he was ready. And if he wasn’t prepared to talk about it with them, then a government agency getting to see his carefully hidden and guarded Mark, would have led to a meltdown of epic proportions. One that neither side would survive. They were smart enough to keep their distance, knowing the real threat of Tony Stark when it came to the damage he could do with a computer, between virus’ and hacking. Which would then be followed by the legal ramifications from the agency. That would then escalate because of Tony’s nature to take things to the extreme and blow everything out of proportion. In hindsight, it really was a good thing that Pepper and Rhodey had convinced the Agents to stay out of the room.

Tony, Rhodey, and Pepper spent the next 5 hours being debriefed before they were sent home for the night to get some rest. The car Rhodey had driven to the base was pulled around for the three of them. Tony and Rhodey were told that they would be giving statements at a press conference the next day and not to worry about it, that S.H.I.E.L.D. would take care of their alibi’s. Tony and Rhodey rolled out the bin containing the dismantled armor, tossing them into the Audi’s back seat before climbing in. Tony let Rhodey drive, he was tired, and all he wanted to do was sleep. The concussion he’d been diagnosed with at the S.H.I.E.L.D. base though meant that Rhodey was spending the night and was waking him up every 2 hours to make sure he was ok. It was a drill Tony knew well. Tony said goodnight to Pepper as Rhodey dropped her back off at Stark Industries, knowing she would much prefer her own house and bed for the night, even if she had a room at Tony’s.

\---------------------------

The next day Tony sat up in his office at Stark Industries. Pepper fussed over him, covering up the injuries that the nanites didn’t. He really needed to reprogram them to work on covering up his face. They currently only covered his neck and below. If his new superhero persona continued, he would need to get them to cover his face too, he couldn’t exactly be a symbol of peace and hope when he was walking around looking like a human punching bag. He pulled out his phone and sent the message to J.A.R.V.I.S to add it onto his already long list of things to look into and new tasks he had to do when he got back to his workshop. He skimmed through the newspaper Rhodey had brought from the coffee shop on their way in that morning. He needed to do something so he would stay still while Pepper blotted on concealer. He really didn’t need to get concealer in his eye again. That;l shit stung.

He opened it, seeing a photo of him in the suit on the front with the caption “‘Iron Man.’ That's kind of catchy. It's got a nice ring to it. I mean, it's not technically accurate. The suit's a gold-titanium alloy, but it's kind of evocative, the imagery, anyway.” He winced as Pepper ripped the steri-strip off his nose, causing it to twinge as she jostled the break. He couldn’t blame her too much. This was currently her only physical way of getting back at him for putting her through the wringer the other night. Usually, he would have commented on it, but he knew better than starting that conversation right now. So if ripping off, the steri-strips gave her some satisfaction, as she caused him a bit of discomfort. He would let her have it. It wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle, given his extraordinarily high pain tolerance.

“Here's your alibi,” Coulson said, handing Tony the cards. 

Tony set down the newspaper taking the cards and flipping through them. “Okay.”

“You were on your yacht,” Coulson told him, supplying details of the story Tony had yet to get to in the cards.

“Yeah?” he questioned. He had barely been seen in public for the 7 months since his capture. The only time he’d been out was in the last week at the fundraiser and the press conference that had initially set Stane off. A yacht party might’ve been an understandable alibi before. But after so many months out of the spotlight, it didn’t make sense. Even he could see the huge holes in this plan, for him to go from a complete recluse to throwing a 50 person yacht party, that raised enough questions to be suspect.

“We have port papers that put you in Avalon all night and sworn statements from 50 of your guests,” Coulson told him pointedly. As Pepper gently tapped concealer onto his nose, careful to mind the break this time, as much as she possibly could at least. He appreciated her kindness. He knew that when she finally met her soulmate, they were going to be one lucky human. Pepper had a soul mark of her own and flowers showing her that they were alive, a patch of intertwined flowers just above her right hip. Wax Myrtle, Rudbeckia, and Love-In-A-Mist. She’d gotten them while he’d been captured.

Tony’s thoughts and feelings were all muddling together. Concussions never helped him when it came to his emotions or trying to express himself. It just made it harder for him to sort, like trying to move under a wet weighted blanket. Right now though, he was still feeling the crushing weight of Obie’s betrayal and the need to be close and connected to his few remaining friends. He didn’t want her or Rhodey to leave him when they found their soulmate. Tony found he enjoyed the relationship he’d developed with her in the last week since returning from Gulmira a lot more than he’d expected. She had requested that he be more open with her, and he knew that he could be a bit more honest with her and Rhodey. He couldn’t let the chance to have two of his closest relationships go. He had to appreciate the time he had with them even though Tony knew they would eventually leave, everyone else did, so this really was just a matter of time, but until then, he found himself wanting to share more with Pepper and Rhodey. He wasn’t ready to show them his mark, but he was prepared to talk to them more, both about what Howard had done and how he had a mark, but also knew that those on the other side of it were dead.

Tony grimaced, turning back to the problem at hand, his alibi. “See, I was thinking maybe we should say it was just Pepper and me alone on the island.” Pepper ripped the strip on the side of his face causing him to wince as she was none too gentle about it, despite the bruising underneath. He looked up, finding her looking down at him clearly perturbed by his ability to joke about just about anything, she was well aware that humor was his coping mechanism.

Coulson didn’t look amused either. “That's what happened,” he stated dryly.

“All right,” Tony said, making disgruntled faces at the cards as he continued to read the alibi that S.H.I.E.L.D. had created for him.

“Just read it, word for word,” Coulson told him, watching as Pepper applied the last bit of makeup to his face, hiding the various cuts and colorful bruises underneath.

“There's nothing about Stane here,” Tony said matter of factly as he read through the cards more carefully.

“That's being handled. He's on vacation. Small aircraft have such a poor safety record.” Coulson said with a slight smirk. Tony had to admit capitalizing on the less than satisfactory safety record of small aircrafts was a good cover-up.

“But what about the whole cover story that it's a bodyguard? He's my... I mean, is that… That's kind of flimsy, don't you think?” Tony asked, seeing right through the alibi, especially since Tony had a bodyguard already, Happy. Also, anyone who knew Tony knew that he hated bodyguards. He didn’t trust them. Happy was the only exception to the rule, and the press knew that because technically, Happy was his driver and his bodyguard, as Tony had clarified on numerous occasions. 

Coulson just stared down at him. “This isn't my first rodeo, Mr. Stark. Just stick to the official statement, and soon, this will all be behind you.” He told him. Then nodded almost imperceptibly, looking up at the tv screen behind him, showing the live feed of Rhodey making his statement to the press core. “You've got; 90 seconds,” he said as he realized wherein the prepared remarks Rhodey was. 

Coulson turned to go downstairs where the press conference was, making sure things were all set and clear for Tony’s entrance. He also wanted to be ready just in case Tony did precisely what Fury had hypothesized he was going to do. “Agent Coulson?” Pepper called, following him toward the door. Coulson turned back. “I just wanted to say thank you very much for all of your help,” Pepper told him sincerely. The agent smiled back at her knowing the full length that her thank you extended.

Coulson just smiled and nodded in return. “That's what we do. You'll be hearing from us.” He said, knowing that S.H.I.E.L.D. would be keeping close tabs on Tony and the suit that he had built.

“From the Strategic Homeland…” Pepper started having finally remembered the whole acronym.

“Just call us S.H.I.E.L.D,” Coulson said, cutting her off as he supplied her with the shorter and faster to say acronym for the agency.

“Right.” She nodded, surprised it had taken her so long to put that together.

“Let's get this show on the road,” Pepper said, grabbing his suit jacket from the couch where she had put it so he wouldn’t have makeup dust on his collar. Wouldn’t that have just been a great story to cap off his last 24 hours, one he didn’t need.

“You know, it's actually not that bad. Even I don't think I'm Iron Man.” He said, reading off the cards a bit mockingly as he smirked at her. He put the cards in his mouth to hold them without them getting crinkled as Pepper helped him into the suit, his shoulders, back, and ribs still very sore from the beating he’d taken just 14 hours ago.

“You're not Iron Man,” Pepper said, reminding him of the story.

“Am so.” He teased. He knew he wanted to continue to be Iron Man, but it was hard to continue that route with the remarks that SHIELD gave him.

“You're not,” Pepper said she was trying to talk him out of it again. Yet another tally as to why they couldn’t work.

“All right, suit yourself. You know, if I were Iron Man, I'd have these friends who knew my true identity. They'd be a wreck, 'cause they'd always be worrying that I was going to die, yet so proud of the man I'd become.” He said, turning to face her, he’d started this conversation, and he was going to finish it. At best, he’d have Pepper and Rhodey’s full support by the end of it. At worst, he'd lose Pepper and possibly Rhodey too. But he was willing to make the bet that the probability of that outcome was currently relatively low, not with how she and Rhodey had stood by him and defended him last night. Even if she told him no they could just go back to being work colleagues who cared about each other on a friendly level. He pulled the cards out of his teeth as she brushed the nonexistent lint off him. “They'd be wildly conflicted, which would only make me drive them even crazier than I normally do.” She continued to work, buttoning him up and fixing his pocket square as he spoke. Maybe he was going about this all wrong “Tell me you never think about that night.” he blurted out at the end, not knowing any other way to lead in.

“What night?” Pepper asked, not looking up at him as she finished folding his pocket square tucking it back into his breast pocket

“You know.” He stared at her. Tony knew she knew what he was talking about. He wanted to feel it out though, hoping he wasn’t totally off the mark.

“Are you talking about the night that we danced and went up on the roof, and then you went downstairs to get me a drink, and you left me there, by myself?” she asked. Oh, he’d forgotten about that part. Tony had been distracted by the news that Stane had been dealing weapons under the table to terrorists. The same ones who had tried to kill him. He suddenly realized that bringing up that night probably hadn’t been his best idea. “Is that the night you're talking about?” He nodded, looking at her, barely getting out an affirmative noise as he felt his throat constrict a bit with the guilt. “Thought so,” she said, brushing him off a sliver of amusement pulling at her lips.

“I'm sorry,” He said.

“I know,” she said.

Tony nodded. “I know I don’t open up to you a lot but, that doesn’t stop me from wishing I could. God Pep, I wish it was easier, I know it doesn’t make much of a difference, but Rhodey still barely knows anything.” He looked at her, hoping she’d know what he was thinking with his next words. “It's tough for me to open up to people I don't trust easily. I never have, I’ve been taught to not trust anyone, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to. But I understand if you don’t want to deal with all of this, I can’t put you through this. You signed up to be my PA when it was just as the CEO, but now it comes with Iron Man too. I’ll try to be more upfront with you and tell you more, but you’re going to have to be patient with me. This is going to be really new for me.

“Tony, I’m here with you, we have each other, I meant what I said yester-” her look suddenly changed, and he knew she’d gotten his meaning as she interrupted herself. “I’m sorry, but really? You’re sticking with that name? You just said it wasn’t-” 

“Why not? It’s catchy, even if it isn’t accurate.”

“Tony,” Pepper warned.

“It is, and it is going to be dangerous.”

“Tony!” Pepper looked like she wasn’t sure if she wanted to cry or smack him.

“And I won’t put you through that if you don’t want to be part-” Tony continued.

“Tony!” Pepper yelled, getting his attention. He stopped watching her take a slow breath before shaking her head exasperatedly. “Stop, it’s ok,” she said. Her tone was warm and kind, shocking him, sure he’d hoped she’d accept, but he hadn’t really been prepared for it.

“It is?” he asked, trying to make sure they were on the same page.

“Yes,” Pepper said, tugging up her black dress just enough for Tony to see her mark.

“You found them?” Tony asked; he felt a wash of relief at the new discovery. Maybe it would be ok; now he knew that he wouldn’t leave Rhodey and Pepper entirely alone if he got hurt.

Pepper nodded. “Well, sort of Phil,” Pepper started only for Tony to cut her off.

“Sorry, Phil?” he asked, not liking that she was on a first name basis with the Agent.

“Yes, Phil,”

“No, his first name isn’t Phil. It’s Agent,” Tony said, repeating the line he’d heard for years from Peggy.

“Tony,” Pepper warned, exasperated by his antics. “Phil said he’d seen the mark before and that they work in S.H.I.E.L.D., they are out on an extended assignment at the moment, but he said that if both parties were amicable to it, he would introduce us when they get back.

“That’s great Pep,” Tony said, genuinely happy for his friend, staring at her, glad she had the opportunity to find the person that was destined to fit alongside her and be her match and compliment in everything they did.

Pepper smiled at him, finishing straightening his tie “Will that be all, Mr. Stark?”

“Yes, that will be all, Miss Potts.” He said before walking out of his office and down into the media circus gathered in the gallery.

“And now, Mr. Stark has prepared a statement. He will not be taking any questions. Thank you.” Rhodey said, finishing as Tony walked up to the podium where Rhodey was standing.

Tony stepped up, “Been a while since I was in front of you. I figure I'll stick to the cards this time.” He said, pulling out the card’s Phil had handed him. “There's been some speculation that I was somehow involved in the events that occurred on the freeway and the rooftop…” Tony started. He was still arguing with himself about the validity of the story.

A hand flew up in the front row, distracting him. “I'm sorry, Mr. Stark, but do you honestly expect us to believe that that was a bodyguard in a suit that conveniently appeared, despite the fact that you sorely despise bodyguards?” he’s told Phil this was a terrible alibi. He could even see Rhodey straining to not roll his eyes at the story from where he stood next to him.

“Yes,” He said, trying to get back on track, he just had to get through the cards, but did he really want to?

Christine just kept on going though. “And this mysterious bodyguard was somehow equipped with an undisclosed Stark high-tech powered battle-”

Tony knew he had to stop Christine from going further. “I know that it's confusing. It is one thing to question the official story, and another thing entirely to make wild accusations, or insinuate that I'm a superhero.” Oh, there was the concussion, Tony realized just a second too late, but the words were out, and with them came the same lingering thought again, did he want to read the cards? Why not just tell them.

“I never said you were a superhero,” Christine said. Of course, she wouldn’t. She was one of his most prominent critics and very notably not a fan.

“Didn't? Well, good, because that would be outlandish and fantastic. I'm just not the hero type. Clearly. With this laundry list of character defects, all the mistakes I've made, largely public.” He talked through his thoughts that were now spinning a mile a minute, Rhodey caught his arm.

“Just stick to the cards, man.” He whispered, realizing that Tony was spiraling.

“Yeah, okay.” He agreed, stalling for a moment while he thought his next move through. Coming to the realization that this was the accountability he wanted. And it was sitting in front of him. “Yeah,” he said, deciding his fate. “The truth is-” 

The truth was he wanted to be held responsible. He wanted to do better and create something useful. He could do that a whole lot easier if they knew it was him, he just had to take the credit now. It came with accountability and a whole lot less lying. He stared down at Christine Everhart, who had never taken any of his bullshit and always called him out when he was screwing up. 

The world needed Iron Man. They needed someone who would step up and fight for them from everything from a wildfire to a war. He was going to be that person, and he wasn’t going to hide behind a metal faceplate and a fancy nickname. He would get to stand up for what he believed in and show them precisely who the real Tony Stark was. He wanted them to call him out if he started screwing up. He’d hidden from responsibility for long enough.

He dropped the cards down to the podium as he looked out into the crowd.

This was it. This was how he was going to make his second chance count. How he was going to make Steve and Bucky proud. “I am Iron Man.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mandrake - Fear  
> Matricaria - Protection  
> Oleander - Caution  
> Purple Columbine - Resolved to Win  
> Allspice - Compassion  
> Sweet Briar - Wounded  
> Redbud Tree - Betrayal  
> Mustard - Hurt  
> Bilberry - Treachery  
> Rose Rock - Determination  
> Aspen - Fear  
> Dragon Plant - Dread  
> Tansy - Resistance  
> Thistle - Retaliation  
> Hollyhocks - Ambition  
> Magnolia - Perseverance *  
> Euphorbia - Persistence  
> Laurel - Victory  
> Lemon Balm - Relief  
> Pepper's:   
> Wax Myrtle - Duty  
> Rudbeckia - Justice  
> Love-In-A-Mist - Perplexity
> 
> ———————————
> 
> Ok, a little more reader interaction… I need ‘Avenger Tower: House Rules.’ Serious or Silly
> 
> Ex: House rule number __: No putting refrigerator magnets on Bucky’s arm.
> 
> Or
> 
> House rule number __: If one Avenger gets a new toy, all Avengers get a new toy.
> 
> Or
> 
> House rule number __: Under no circumstances is UNO to be played during game night. Allowed in the Tower.  
> Subsection a. Monopoly too.
> 
> Also, thank you for your input on the questionnaire! It was helpful to see who you all wanted to see together.

**Author's Note:**

> Floriography for the chapter
> 
> Sweet Briar - Wounded  
> Peonies - Shame  
> Buttercup - Childishness  
> Leucojum - Hope  
> Bilberry - Treachery


End file.
